In the Crushing

The song “New Wine” by Hillsong Worship has become my anthem since coming home from China one month ago with Heidi. The first verse says this:

“In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making new wine
In the soil I now surrender
You are breaking new ground”

When I sit to write all the seemingly unfortunate events of the past month it’s nearly incomprehensible. 

All three of our toilets clogged. 

In the crushing

One of them overflowed gallons of water onto the bathroom floor. 

In the pressing

Our shower developed a crack and leaked water into the garage. 

In the crushing

Our refrigerator died and we were without one in the house for nearly 2 weeks. 

In the pressing

Our Suburban (read: main vehicle for our family) went in for inspection and required extra work, leaving me without a vehicle when I had an appointment to make. 

In the crushing

One day after getting the Suburban back we had our first night at Trent’s parents house. When we went to leave with a sick Heidi it wouldn’t start. 

In the pressing

We have had at least two doctor/dentist/eye appointments every week since we came home (not all for Heidi). 

In the crushing

Our dog got fleas. 

In the pressing

Three of our girls (Abbey, Ruthie, and Carrie) caught a nasty cold. 

In the crushing

Heidi got pneumonia. 

In the pressing

And an ear infection. 

In the crushing

We are attempting to maintain homeschool for five children, two Kindergarteners, two sixth graders, and one third grader. 

In the pressing

The song doesn’t stop with the crushing and pressing my friends, and neither does this story. 

“So I yield to You and to Your careful hand
When I trust You I don’t need to understand”

But God, in his goodness, sometimes gives us glimpses of his love to ease the burden when we don’t understand. 

Yes, the toilets clogged and overflowed. But we have indoor plumbing. And they didn’t all clog at the same time. 

Yes, our shower cracked and leaked. But Trent was able to plumber putty it closed until such a time as we can replace the shower. And it was the shower above the garage and not the shower over the school room. 

Yes, our refrigerator died on us. But we had purchased an inexpensive refrigerator to keep in the garage for the overflow of cold items that comes with a large family. We were able to use this “gridge” for the 2 weeks it took for our new one to come. AND, perhaps the biggest blessing is that the fridge didn’t die while we were in China, leaving that burden to my niece and in-laws. 

Yes, the Suburban took some extra work. But my niece planned to visit with my girls that day so I was able to borrow her car and still make my appointment.  

Yes, the Suburban wouldn’t start when we wanted to leave Trent’s parents’ house. But at least it didn’t happen when I was out somewhere with sick children or on the side of the road somewhere. And we have AAA so the next morning within an hour of calling there was a young man at our house to replace the battery so I could take Heidi to the doctor. 

Yes, Heidi has pneumonia and an ear infection. But she has a daddy to hold her, a mama to rock her to sleep and comfort her. She has a doctor who can see her quickly and a nurse who can empathize and give me encouragement. She is no longer an orphan. 

Children who aren’t given love and nurturing from birth can struggle to form healthy attachments. Heidi’s illness is allowing her to trust in us and build a bond that is necessary to come through life successfully. 

I haven’t found anything good about the dog getting fleas. Although it has made me wash every pillow and blanket and vacuum thoroughly. Even though it’s not how I want to spend my time, perhaps it was needed and this forced me to do it.  

Yes, the homeschool has been difficult. But this has led us to consider something different for next year that we would not have otherwise. And who knows but that it could be the best thing for the girls in their future. 

God’s hand is careful with us. And yet sometimes we need to be pressed and crushed to turn us into a better version of ourselves. A more faithful Emily. A more trusting Emily. A more humble Emily. A more compassionate Emily. 

The chorus of the song says : 

“Make me Your vessel
Make me an offering
Make me whatever You want me to be
I came here with nothing
But all You have given me
Jesus bring new wine out of me”

I came to the Lord 15 years ago with nothing but my heart to give. If this crushing and pressing is what is required for Jesus to bring new wine out of me, then I submit. 

And through all of these seemingly unending chaotic challenges of the past month I can say to you truly and wholeheartedly; God is good.