Abigail is FIVE (and two months)

I realized I've really lagged on the blogging lately. I'm hoping now that we are done with homeschool for the summer that I'll have more time for things like this. However, based on how this first week of "summer vacation" has gone it may not necessarily be the case.

So here's a little about our second born, Abbey Frances, who turned the big f-i-v-e back in April.

Abbey is really doing well with reading! She could read pretty many words when school started back in late August, but they were mostly sight words and one syllable words. When we read chapter books together she will often want to sit on my lap or lay beside me so she can see the words. Often she will start the sentence, sometimes reading an entire sentence, or at least getting as far as possible. She has started putting multiple syllable words together, which is really exciting for her (and me!). Math started out very easy for Abbey, but as the school year progressed she started getting more and more challenged. She did finish Kindergarten math, and will move on to first grade in the fall. It's been really fun to watch Abbey gain confidence in her reading abilities. It is now a common sight to see her reading to Maggie, and her car seat is piled full of her little books so she can read whenever we are on the go. Abbey continues to be able to memorize quickly and easily. She memorized 26 verses this school year as well as the poem 'Trees' by Joyce Kilmer.

As sweet as Abbey can be, she continues to be a challenge for me to parent. She is an introvert by nature, which, being an extrovert myself, I have a hard time understanding where she is coming from. She sometimes will get upset by something and I have NO IDEA why she is crying. From what I understand about her personality, she tends to hold things in and it could be something that happened last week that really upset her, but this one little thing (for example Maggie not sharing a toy) is that straw that breaks the camel's back.

Abbey does tend to get angry easily. But, she is usually quick to regain control. She appreciates one-on-one time and smaller settings. She tends to get overwhelmed in large groups of people. Often I will send her to her room when she is out of control. When I go to talk with her about what happened and what upset her and try to give her methods of regaining control she appreciates when I hold her on my lap and pray with her.

Speaking of prayer, Abbey is a PRAYER WARRIOR!! She LOVES to pray for people. She has a LOOOOONG list of people that she prays for every night. (Though to be honest I tend to lose patience and am ready for her to wrap it up with a tidy "Amen" at about minute five.)  She has a very tender heart toward others, especially those who are sick. She had prayed nightly for a little boy named Ben who was suffering through brain cancer. He died last month, but she still prays for his family every night. A highschool classmate of mine died last year and left behind his wife and three kids. She prays for them every night. A young woman with cancer came to speak at our church and share her journey. I told the woman I would pray for her and asked the kids to keep me accountable. We have prayed for her every night since. Unfortunately, this young woman seems to be getting worse. The children often ask for updates on the health of the people we have been praying for.

Abbey was very in tune to what we were talking about. Last night she asked, "Is Kim going to die like Ben?" I didn't know how to answer. Because, the truth is, yes, she probably will die. Of course, God CAN heal her, but they prayed so hard for Ben to be healed and he wasn't. And how can little children grasp all of this? We talked about the passage we had read from Genesis that morning, about sin entering the world, and that these bad things happen because of sin. How can they understand when I can scarcely (if at all) wrap my mind around it. When it was Trent's turn to pray he prayed for the "candy man" (a kind, older gentleman who passes out candy to children after the service) from our church who is not in good health. The kids were instantly asking all kinds of questions about what is wrong with him and why he is sick. Trent continued with his prayer and maybe a few seconds later Abbey burst into tears.

I took Abbey onto my lap and let her cry and then tried to get her to explain why she was upset. (See, extroverts like me, Anne, and Maggie will just chat about it right away. Not Abbey. I'm learning!!) After asking a couple of questions I came to understand that she was really sad that the "candy man" was sick because she really likes him. Often the people who are really sick and have died or may die are not people that we see on a regular basis or people that the children really know well. I'm sure Abbey's fervent prayers are being heard.  It sure would be nice to hear some good news to boost their childlike faith.

Abbey has really impressed me with her love for little Caroline. She tends to like things to stay the way they are, and seemed the least excited about having another baby. But I think that is because I was looking for words and external statements of anticipation and excitement. Abbey internalizes all these things and cherishes them in her heart. She has such a sweet relationship with Caroline. I just LOVE to hear her talking to Carrie and making her smile. Abbey continues to look up to Anne and look to Anne for acceptance (am I funny? Am I smart?). She is a true big sister to Maggie, telling her what to do, reading to her, and helping her on her bike. But they are also so close in age that they play (most of the time) SO NICELY with each other. They are a joy!!

Abbey Frances has a really sweet and tender spirit. Although I do get frustrated with her at times, I'm finding this really beautiful little soul peep out at me when I least expect it.  I can see a rough road ahead for her if she allows the devil a foothold on her sin-nature and the tendency to get angry. However, I have so much hope that she will instead allow the LORD to work in her life and allow Him to polish that bright little spirit she has within her.

This Means War

Yesterday I heard one of the loveliest, most down-to-earth, honest woman share about raising godly children. She has eight of them. I'm in awe.

Today I went to work with my four little heathens (okay, Baby is still pretty sweet, but for some unknown reason she has started waking in the night after two months straight of sleeping 12 hour nights).

And I failed. Oh-so miserably.

All of the kids seemed extra-whiny, and crying about EVERYTHING!

Rest time started out splendidly with the two littlest sleeping and the two older girls working with their sewing kits. I got right to work getting rid of 50+ things.

Then one girl started crying. Big girl would not help smaller girl get her thread untangled. Smaller girl cried. Bigger girl went into a different room and locked the door. Smaller girl continued crying. I untangled thread, talked to bigger girl, consoled smaller girl. And on, and on, and on. Smallish girl woke up too soon crying. Smallish girl wandered from room to room still crying. Baby wakes up crying.

I get almost nothing accomplished. I get frustrated. I want to yell at everyone. I bite my tongue. I practice the fake smile as out speaker suggested. Smallish girl sees through the fake smile and cries.

I nurse Baby to calm her. Biggest girl cleans up nicely. Bigish girl cries that someone needs to help her clean up. Smallish girl whines/cries. Baby spits up on my shirt.

I pray. Why did  God give me four emotional girls to raise? I can't handle them.

The lyrics ''When I'm weak, you make me strong.'' started rolling through my mind. Those lyrics are inspired by this verse:

2 Corinthians 12:9  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.


And I'm reminded that I am correct in saying I can't handle them. But God can. And there is grace available to us through Him.

And I feel that all along this day has been one huge Spiritual battle. Because let's be honest, I felt downright inspired by the words of this godly woman. And today I began to feel defeated. And what is the cause?

Ephesians 6:11-12  Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

So I press on. I will continue to implement these great ideas learned, but perhaps I'll do them a little more slowly. It isn't reasonable for me to tackle all areas that I would like to at once. In the meantime, I'm aware of this Spiritual battle against my own worth as a mom, and against my children. 

  

Tired

Can I just be honest here?

I'm freaking tired of this winter.

And I say that in the nicest way possible. I LOVE WINTER! I love the chance to slow down, to rest, to stay indoors.  I love snow. I love bundling the kiddos up to send them on their merry way to romp in the snow. I love wiping up the melted snow.

But now, I've had enough. I'm sick to death of that pile of winter clothes at my back door that is creeping into the living room. I'm tired of the puzzle pieces. I'm tired of Trouble. I'm sick of the endless papers and crayons and markers all over the place. I'm tired of stepping on blocks. I'm tired of nagging the kids to put their stuff away when they are done with it. I'm tired of teaching school. I'm tired of preparing meals. I'm tired of the dishes. I'm fed up with being inside.

I have found myself snapping at the kids; having a short fuse and getting irritated at every turn. I've found myself having curse words at the tip of my tongue because I'm just sick of it!

And you know what? I'm not the only one. The kids can feel it, too. They feel the monotony of this day-in and day-out life. My dear, sweet, girls who typically get along so well, have hit, squeezed, yelled, shouted nasty words, and cried all so far this morning. So right now, they are outside. I have to make lunch. I have to clean up the table from school. I have to pick up the puzzle pieces all over the place. I have to finish throwing away markers that don't work and crayons that are too small to use *on the sly, of course, because those little hoarder kids of mine WILL pull them out of the trash*.  And what am I doing? Ranting here on my blog.

Despite these weary days I have been experiencing, I know there are brighter days ahead. And I know that I have much to be grateful for.  Since I am an optimist by nature I don't often know what to do with negative feelings. So, here is my go at what I can do.

Choose joy.

Choose to be grateful.

Give thanks.

And now that I've vented my anger, I will do the above three things.

Choose joy: during school today Baby Carrie laughed. She smiled her sweet baby smile and had a nice little laugh at the /p/ sound.

Choose to be grateful: Baby Carrie sleeps ALL NIGHT, every night. She is pretty much the perfect baby. She is sweet and happy and a good sleeper. She hardly ever cries. I have done absolutely NOTHING to deserve this - I'm not a better mom than anyone else that I have such a lovely baby, so I can be grateful to God for her. I am grateful for our big house and yard. We have this amazing unfinished basement that I have sent the kids down in to ride tricycle when they just have too much energy and I can't take it anymore. I sent them down yesterday to blow bubbles. We have a great yard for the kids to run around in and dig holes and find worms and burn off energy. I have an amazing husband who supports our family Spiritually and financially. He is wonderful. I'm grateful for him.

Give thanks: I give thanks to my amazing God, author and perfecter of life. I would not be here but for His amazing grace, so I give Him thanks.

And just like that, my spirit is lifted. I think sometimes I focus too inwardly and begin to think selfishly. When I begin to do this, I get the "woe is me", "my life sucks" mentality. When I focus my eyes on Jesus, I too am lifted.

Now, I think I'll make lunch.

How to Create your Picture Wall

Let me just start this post by saying that I thoroughly enjoy Pinterest. Idea sharing it much easier these days. However, I think it probably has some drawbacks as well, in that some people don't necessarily WANT to share their ideas. I admit to feeling that way on occasion when I spend a lot of time creating a new design and someone wants to use my exact design to make their own signs. However, I'm sure I have done the same thing to other people, whether I tried it or not. So that being said, let the idea sharing begin!

Many of you were interested to know how to create an interesting picture wall in your home. I don't claim to be anything like an interior decorator, but I am happy to share with you what I came up with for a picture wall.

This is a long wall in our master bedroom, but a similar idea would work well in a living room, hallway, or really anywhere that you have a fair amount of wall space. The colors I am working with in our bedroom are gray, white, black, and yellow.

My sister-in-law gave me three beautifully matted and framed photographs of Trent and me from their wedding. There were an addition two pictures that she wasn't sure that we wanted framed, but gave us the prints. These photographs were so lovely and symbolized the great love that Trent and I have for each other. It was a neat series of photos taken at their "photo booth". In the photos I am grabbing Trent's jacket and pulling him in for a kiss. And then there is a nice shot of the two of us smiling.

So, I had three frames given to me. After looking on Pinterest I knew I wanted to add some color with a yellow & white chevron pattern with an "H" in the middle. I went with a black "H", but debated for quite awhile if I should do gray or black. (I made this myself - but I charge $25 for this size/design)

I wanted to add interest with a different shaped mirror. I really thought a scroll-pattern antique looking mirror would be neat, but I couldn't find one. I found the round mirror at TJ Maxx for just $15.

I needed more frames to go with what I had. I really didn't want to mat them all myself, so was looking for some already matted frames. Originally I had planned to use a mixture of frames. However, I was able to find a pack of seven frames of different sizes and shapes already matted at TJ Maxx for $30.

The "Hess Family" established sign is another work that I created. These are available as custom orders for $30.

The yellow table was a great find! I purchased it off the Lancaster County Furniture & Vintage site from the sweetest of women. It was $75.

 
"Grow old with me" was a design I created that I absolutely love! I wanted a more unique love-saying to go in our room. I absolutely love old poetry, and came across this line from one of Robert Browning's poems. This is especially fitting for Trent since he always claims he can't wait until he is old. This sign is available as a custom order for $35.

To the left of this table I would like to add a comfy reading chair.

There is still a lot I would like to do with our bedroom. I'd like to add a comfy reading chair beside my yellow table. We only have one hand-me-down dresser that we squeeze both of our clothes into. We have random books and photo albums and my scrapbooking stuff just piled in one corner of the room. A bookshelf or two would be lovely. But, one thing at a time. For now I am enjoying this extra pretty spot in our room!

Our bed!!

Keeping it real - that is the corner of the room where I put all our boxes and stuff I don't know where else to put for the time being. 

I hope you enjoyed the little tour of my bedroom. It was a joy to share it with you all!

What I Wore Wednesday

Across the blogging world women write these "What I Wore Wednesday" posts. I don't claim to be anything like a fashionista, but I decided I'd participate this week.

I'm getting back to my regular clothes after Baby #4 who is now 9 weeks old!!
 

Jean Jacket - H&M// Dressy Jeans - Banana Republic

White Shirt - H&M// Black Heels - TJ Maxx

"Mint-2-be" Nail polish- H&M

Necklace-Old Navy// Shirt detail- H&M

Hair piece (borrowed from my daughters) - Crazy8// Earrings-Gap

Special thanks to my four-year-old photo loving, daughter, Abigail who took most of these photos.

Giving Up

Most of the time we think of "giving up" as a negative term. However, I want to share with you today how "giving up" saved my life.

I had started to share many months ago about my Spiritual conversion, but sort of chickened out because of my pride.  Recently I have seen and read many articles about gay marriage, homosexual relationships, ordaining ministers who are openly homosexual, etc. Most of these articles have been well written. I wonder how many people really change their mind after reading these articles, or if they only cause them to stick to their guns more tightly and cling to their previously held beliefs?

I can't remember how long ago I read the article in WORLD magazine, but it was something that stuck with me. It has clung to my brain more than the philosophical, biblical, amazingly balanced, well written articles that I have read since then (and I have read a lot of them).

If I could find a link I would link you directly to the article.  In the meantime, I'll give you a general overview. The article was written about a practicing lesbian who had a spiritual conversion. She was attending church for quite awhile while in this relationship, but her partner never attended with her. At some point, she came to the conclusion that in order to grow spiritually she needed to get out of this female-female relationship, but it was hard. So she started asking people in her congregation, "What did you have to give up in order to come to Christ?" And their responses amazed her. From the outside she was seeing these Christians as people who were "practically perfect", involved in church, soccer moms, homeschooling moms, hardworking dads, and the list goes on. Yet each one of them had something they had to give up.

I have many sins that I could list here from prior to my spiritual conversion (and after). However, if someone were to ask me directly, "What did you have to give up to come to Christ?" I would say sexual sin. The way that I filled the void of my Heavenly Father was through intimate connections with men. Am I just as much of a sinner as any homosexual? Yes. This is the main reason I never get into arguments or "discussions" about such topics. I know who I am, and where I once was. Do I agree with their lifestyle? No. Do I agree with anyone having sex outside of marriage? No. Was I once that person? Yes.

The reality is that I had major sin in my life before coming to Christ. I gave that up to come to Him. Was it easy? NO! Especially when I started dating again after my Spiritual conversion. It was tough! Do I still have sin in my life? Yes! However, when I look at where I was ten years ago (I just celebrated my 10th Spiritual birthday last month!!) and where I am now I am continually grateful for the grace God has shown me and the ways He has worked in my life.

I still have "sins of the heart" as my preacher-husband likes to call them. Anger and pride are the two that I work on the most. Self-control falls in there somewhere, but it is usually accompanied by anger or spurred on by my injured pride. And this is life. We are all running in the race, whether we know it or not. Whether we are going toward Christ or away from Him.

I hope this has been an encouragement to you all to remember where you once were, and where you are now. Whether that encourages you to keep fighting the good fight, or to get back in the race, or to give up whatever it is that is holding you back from a closer relationship (or any relationship) with our Heavenly Father.

Grow in God's grace.

Homeschool Love

We have been having some severe weather here in the northeastern part of the United States. We have had heaps of snow (yay!!) along with some frigid temperatures. Schools have closed for both of those reasons. I don't remember ever having school closed because of how cold it was outside, but it has happened multiple times this winter. When the windchill is -20 (or whatever it was), I can't blame schools for closing and delaying. I remember waiting for the bus in the cold as a kid and it certainly wasn't the most fun I've ever had in life. (Although if we're being really honest here, it was more like me running to the bus stop before the bus pulled away. Still not a morning person.)

Facebook is alive with angry parents: some angry because school is closed, some angry because their kids are driving them crazy, some angry because their kids will now be in school past the originally scheduled end date, and some just angry.

Before I continue, let me say up front that I know homeschool is NOT for everyone. So, what I am about to say are just my opinions which are biased and potentially flawed.

As a homeschooling mama I love snow days. Winter can be long and hard. Snow days are so joyful. I find it beautiful that my kids can do their schooling, then bundle up and play in the snow. We still accomplish the schooling that needs done, but can enjoy the fun six inches of fluffy white stuff.  Now, the negative degree days were a little more difficult. We did our schooling, but going outside wasn't nearly as enjoyable. I have the privilege of having an unfinished basement that I sent the girls down in to ride tricycles and run around to burn off some energy. And the truth is - I did send my girls out on some of those really cold days. They were appropriately dressed and I only let them stay out for about 10-15 minutes, but it was worth it.

Have you heard of Common Core? I don't know much about it, but what I do know I don't like. You can follow this link to view a fabulous example of a Common Core math problem for a fourth grader.  http://dailycaller.com/2014/01/22/heres-another-impossibly-stupid-common-core-math-worksheet/

I think that article speaks for itself.

Up until we started homeschooling I would have said it was not for me. Now we are halfway through our first year and I love, love, love it!