Teeny tiny adoption update. We have been DTC (Dossier to China) for just over four months. Hasn't it just flown by? We were told to anticipate a 6-9 month wait, which means we are halfway (or closer) to seeing the face of our little girl. While we are eager to see her picture, we are grateful for this time of waiting as each of our other children get a little older.
Speaking of getting older.....
Anne is NINE years old!
I really can't believe it. My first born baby girl is nine.
Anne is a mother hen to her sisters!
Anne is growing into such a wonderful young lady. She takes her responsibility as the eldest sister very seriously. I'm continually amazed by her maturity for her age. Anne is a great helper to me at home. She has recently expanded her list of chores and is tackling larger household duties such as vacuuming with a thoroughness that delights me! Anne is always willing to pitch in to read to Caroline or take her outside and watch over her while I'm making dinner.
All photos credit to Stacy Parmarter Photography!
Some things Anne loves:
- Reading: pretty much anything she can get her hands on she will read. Currently she is enjoying historical fiction, and the daily comics
- Computer games: she enjoys a math game called Rainbow Rock
-iPhone/iMovie: Anne likes playing electronic games as well as using iMovie to create short videos or movie trailers
-Horses: ever since she could talk she loved horses. That love continues to this day.
-Music: Anne is hoping to take piano lessons again next year (we stopped this past year). Eventually she would like to play the violin
-Jesus: Anne has always been interested in Spiritual matters. She has impressed me with her ability to pray in her room when she is experiencing a bad attitude or has said/done things she shouldn't have.
-Almost all food: she is my least-picky eater!
-Board Games/Card games
-Playing outside
-Taking care of her chickens (usually)
-Cats: currently we have a "wild cat" outside named Oscar
Things Anne is not fond of:
-cooked carrots
-stink bugs
-I can't think of anything else. :)
Anne is a delight to parent. As challenging as she was during her toddler years she is more than making up for it now. While she occasionally gives me an attitude or argues with Maggie, she is really a joy. Anne is a wonderful student and I enjoy having her in my "class". While she is usually mature for her age she can also be very silly. Poop jokes and mention of any bodily function can cause uproarious laughter.
Happy ninth birthday, Anne-girl! We're so glad you are ours. Even if you do use Microsoft Paint to edit photos of your parents.
Currently I'm whizzing through the Bible at breakneck speed. I'm going through a study of the whole Bible in seven weeks at Change of Pace South . The study is called Seamless by Angie Smith. To be totally honest, I chose the study because I'm at a very busy season in life right now. I have read through the Bible chronologically twice now (it's a 1-year walk through the Bible I used). I don't say this to sound pompous, I say it to humble myself. I already had a very good overview of what the Bible looks like in chronological order which is the purpose of Seamless. Do you see what I'm saying? I took the easy way out. The other study being offered was a Beth Moore study and I knew realistically I wasn't going to be able to invest the time to fully appreciate a Beth Moore study.
Yet God is so faithful (despite my selfish reasoning) to meet me where I'm at right now. Going through the Bible with a group of women who are a wide age range is truly a treat. The women all have beautiful testimonies of how God has worked in their lives and how they continue to see Him move. We just wrapped up the Old Testament which is full of foreshadowing. As a woman who loves books, this one is the most beautifully written. I've gained a new appreciation for the Levitical laws. And sheep. Sheep are often part of the story of Jesus my Savior, and now I have convinced myself that we ought to have a little sheep farm. I'm still working on the hubby's approval. ;)
As previously mentioned, this is a very busy time of the year for me. With painting signs, many people are thinking ahead to Christmas. Last year I had an idea of a sign I wanted to paint but never got around to it since I was taking other people's orders. As I have intentionally taken fewer orders I have been able to paint some of my own ideas. Like this:
I had seen a similar idea, but always the wise men are the ones seeking the baby Jesus in the manger. But those of you who know the Bible well understand that it took the wise men a very long time and Jesus was probably two years old before they reached him. I wanted more than anything to show the immediate response of the shepherds to come adore the baby Jesus.
And how are we like these shepherds? Some of us recognize and come to Christ seemingly easily. And when we reach him, how do we respond? Do we fall to our knees as the first shepherd? Do we point and look ready to run to Him like the second? Or are we like the last two? We are still a ways off, but we are seeking. And not pictured but always in mind when it comes time to read the story of Christ's birth is, of course, the wise men. It takes them a long time to get to Jesus. Just like some of us. We have heard about Him. But it takes us a long, long time to reach Him.
It doesn't escape me that I've been given the tremendous task of raising up a generation of Little Women. Soon five girls will call me Mama. But trust me, I'm just like the rest of you. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing great, other times I think I'm failing. We have beautiful days where everyone is getting along and we have horrible days where the girls are bickering and arguing and throwing fits.
This week I have had a terrible head cold. You know, the works. Sneezing. Coughing. Headaches. For sure, not the worst head cold I've ever had, but enough to make the dog bark when I talk and sound like a man. You know what I mean.
Regardless of whether I am out of sorts, the show must go on. And surprisingly, it has been a beautiful week for me. Despite the ever growing mound of tissues, my little women have risen to the occasion.
As we home school there is still work to be done whether teacher is sick or not. I did a very limited amount of teaching. Just enough to squeak by. Anne and Abbey have read more material on their own than ever before. Anne has helped Abbey work through a math challenge as well as help Maggie read through her sight words. Abbey has taken charge of Caroline and helped her to the bathroom and read her books. Maggie has also stepped up and taken a crying Caroline upstairs to play and distract her while my head was pounding. Anne made lunch on my worst day this week.
As truly grateful as I am to be feeling better in some ways I'm glad I had this little brush of illness. It gave me the opportunity to see my daughters rise up. They were able to complete tasks that I don't normally assign but that they have learned through watching their mama. I never sat down and showed them how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but all three of the older girls are capable (with varying degrees of messes) to make a sandwich.
Friends with little toddlers. Take heart. Your day will come. It's hard to comprehend that my eldest daughter will be nine years old next month. It's humbling that the Lord saw fit to give me all these future homemakers to raise. But that's what I'm doing, to the best of my ability.
And maybe in another month I'll feign illness just to see how much they have honed their homemaking skills.
Teeny tiny adoption update. We have been officially waiting for two months - so most likely another 7 to go! This means approximately 7 more months until we are matched with our daughter, then after that we will have another 5-6 months until we travel. I'm sure the waiting will be hard as we get closer to our match, but right now the time is slipping right on by, for which I am grateful. I'm also thankful for the consistency of the China program and for the way our adoption agency keeps in touch with waiting families so we don't feel forgotten.
She had a traumatic entry into the world, but not much slows her down now!
Now, for Miss Magdalena. It's hard to believe our smallest baby, our third daughter, is six.
Leaving the hospital after 6 days in the NICU
Her first day home - about 4.5 pounds and 17" long.
It's so hard to believe that our sweet baby is now six years old!
For her birthday she went to the Strasburg Rail Road to ride the train. This was followed by a trip to Isaac's for dinner. The daddy-daughter dates have been one of the best investments I believe we could make. This trip was very low cost (Maggie had a free ticket to the RR and her meal was free at Isaac's - both of those things she earned during the summer reading program through our local library). **Trent has these photos - I'll try to add them later!**
Princess Maggie at the fundraiser
While our kids do enjoy gifts, they all appreciate the gift of time more than anything else. They may not remember what gift they got during any particular year, but they can all recall where they went with their daddy at each age. These moments are more precious than anything I could ever give them. I've learned through my own experiences as well as parenting books and psychology courses I've taken the profound impact dads have on their children, but ESPECIALLY their daughters.
She always wanted a red-headed baby, and now she has one!
Just a little about Maggie:
-She loves babies
-She loves drinking water
-She does not love juice
-She loves coffee
-She learned to tie her shoes in one try this summer
-She is becoming a more confident reader everyday
-She is still very small for her age despite her perfect cheeks
-She wants 10 babies when she grows up (5 from her belly and 5 from China)
-She has big dreams of getting married and considers her options seriously
-Did I mention she loves babies?
-She is very excited to start soccer practice
-She loves catching frogs with her sisters
-She loves to draw
-She is thoughtful (she often will draw pictures for people and send them in the mail or hand-deliver them)
-She is generous (she is continually giving Caroline her own favorite toys to make her happy)
-She loves bugs
-Her favorite color is yellow
-She loves Taco Bell bean burritos
-She is a great story teller
-She is very creative and is always coming up with new ideas for crafts or building forts
Maggie says that when she grows up she wants to be a mom. When Anne tells her that she has to do something else first, like, get a job, her reply is always, "I'm going to paint signs, like Mommy!" Bless her little heart.
She was thrilled to find and inspect a cicada
Recently Maggie has had some hard feelings toward herself. She has struggled with feeling like she isn't good enough. Learning to read has been very difficult for Maggie, along with some other memory problems. It's such a challenge to see these precious little souls face their insecurities. Generally her frustrations blow up into fits of crying and running to her room. Recently during one of these fits she told me she feels like she is a "bad girl" and can never be good. I was able to tell her that she's right. None of us are good. Only God is good. But we can have forgiveness and peace because of Jesus' death on the cross.
Such a devoted big sister!
I know my girls will at some point have to experience some hard things and do some growing up. My hope for all of them is that when those trials come, that they will turn to my Savior and fully accept Him as their own Savior. I feel like my job as their mom, role model, and teacher is to lead them there. I want to provide them with the facts, but so much more. I want to show by word and deed what a Christ follower looks like, even the messy, ugly parts of failure and mistakes because that's where grace shines through brighter. Eventually they will all come to a point in their lives where they must choose for themselves whom they will serve. I cannot save my children. It's a humbling reality for a Mama who likes to DO things.
So happy sixth birthday, Magdalena Faith! You are more precious than rubies. I can't wait to see what grand adventures you'll have now that you are six!
xoxo,
Mama
Just the other night, while searching under my bed for a long lost journal (which I did not find), I came across a bag of pictures. This one was near the top. The first day of third grade. I don't know how I got that picture, or if my mom came to school with me that day. It would be unusual as I rode the bus to school, but nothing that year was normal. Maybe the teacher took it and gave it to my mom. I don't know.
First day of third grade, Conestoga Elementary.
The summer before I started third grade a classmate and friend was killed by a drunk driver. At the time I had said she was my best friend. Looking back, I wonder how many other classmates felt the same way. I do know that we were very close. As I looked at the above photograph I had a flash flood of memories start to sweep me away.
So many little things about Kristine came back to me in that moment. She wasn't in the photograph but her presence was there. Before she died she had gotten a pony tail holder stuck in her hair. Instead of waiting for her mom to untangle it, she got a pair of scissors and cut it out, along with a nice chunk of the back of her hair. In the weeks before she died she gave me two cards while we were at the pool together. I distinctly remember sitting at the edge of the 12 feet. It was an adult swim. She ran over to her towel and back to me with the cards. We sat together, feet dangling in the water. One was a birthday card. This was odd as my birthday is in January. She said she had forgotten my birthday and wanted me to have this card. The second was a card asking if I wanted to get together to make a present for our third grade teacher. We never got the chance. I made one without her and gave it to the teacher, from both of us.
I remember being upset with Kristine the night she died. Our community pool was having a midnight swim. It was the highlight of the summer for us kids. We made our plans to meet there. She never showed up. I couldn't believe my friend would stand me up like that.
The next morning at church, a man from our congregation stood up and asked for prayer. He was an EMT, on the scene of an accident the night before where a 7-year-old girl was killed. She was an only child. He didn't know the first name, but the last name was Trimble. At my age I didn't pay close attention to much during church. I remember my head shooting up at the sound of that name and looking at my mom. With tears in my eyes I silently begged her to reassure me this couldn't be my friend. There is no way MY friend could be dead.
After church my parents drove to Turkey Hill. My dad went inside for a newspaper. He came out, and handed it to my mom. I don't know if I said anything or just stared. Kristine's second grade school photograph was on the front page of the local section. I couldn't believe it. I refused to believe it. We drove home. I have vague memories of my mom convincing me that she believed Kristine had the choice to stay in a broken body on earth or be whole in heaven. I was mad at her. In my selfishness I wanted her here.
Kristine had died two tenths of a mile from her home, and half a mile from the pool. She was wearing her swimsuit under her dress, she was on her way to the pool, to see me for the midnight swim.
After she died her mom came over to my house. She gave me Kristine's bike. I didn't want it. I didn't want to ride her bike. I wanted Kristine to ride her own bike. Her mom wanted me to have it. I imagine it was too hard to see it and know Kristine wouldn't ride it again. I rode that bike until long after I had outgrown it. Outgrowing it would be moving forward, without Kristine.
This year Anne and Abbey start third grade. They are the age that Kristine and I were, 8 and 7, our last summer together as friends. Thinking of how precious my own daughters are to me, I can't even begin to fathom losing one of them in an accident. If I'm not careful I believe the devil could use this memory to fill my heart with fear and worry.
Anne, age 8, first day of 3rd grade
Looking back, third grade for me was certainly not a normal year. That
year my mom threw a surprise party for me. I didn't understand at the
time why she did it. With a large family we didn't have birthday parties
with friends every year. We had them on "special occasion" years - 5,
10, 13, and 16. But that year I turned 9. I got a surprise party at
Willow Valley's indoor pool, which was a really big deal for our family.
Maybe my mom was thinking her own, "what ifs".
Abbey, age 7, first day of 3rd grade
I don't think about Kristine every day anymore. But I do think of her. I used to visit her grave on a regular basis all through high school. I saw her grandmother there once and she remembered me. I wore a butterfly on my wedding dress for Kristine, for the wedding she would never get to have. And I tell my girls about her. If I could tell Kristine's mom or any mom who has lost a beloved child it would be this : I haven't forgotten her. I think of her. I remember the funny things she did. I wish she were still here. I loved her, too.
Maggie, age 5 (6 next week), first day of pre-1st.
Caroline - 2 1/2 years old - keeping busy this school year!
And now we move forward.
This article is now 8 years old, but it tells more about Kristine and her family along with Kristine's beautiful picture. Lives Forever Changed
We hope all our friends and family have a great 2016-2017 school year. We pray that you all stay safe and make good choices.
Let me start by saying how grateful I am for my friends, family and community. I would probably be a terrible event planner. If my memory serves me correctly, planning this fundraiser was more work than planning my wedding. Granted, we had a very low-key wedding. The point is, it was no small task to undertake the planning of this event which had about twice as many people attend than our wedding.
Thank you for transforming the world for our little girl!
There are so many ways we saw God's hand at work throughout the planning process. I'll try to give you several of them so we can together worship God and thank Him for His goodness. All these seemingly small things helped to build our faith as we work through the adoption process.
My original fundraiser idea was to have ice cream sundaes and music. My dear friend, Heather, has been the PTO vice-president at her children's school for a number of years. While there, she has planned a carnival multiple times and had several ideas. Heather planned five games for the children. She purchased the prizes, the tickets necessary to play the games, and the signs for the games. Her husband BUILT a bean bag toss game and she free-hand painted an ice cream cone on it. Everything related to the games she took care of and donated. She spent her whole evening working the ticket booth so that I didn't have to nor did I need to find someone to do it for me. The games raised about $230 and was SO much fun for the kids that night.
Games Set up
2016 is the Year of the Monkey in China
Lollipop toss
Heather's husband Jared built the ice cream cone bean bag toss!
Keaton enjoying the balance beam
Games in Action
Since Heather had more experience with fundraisers she also suggested that we have about 10 items to raffle off. She had several great suggestions. I was amazed at how those contributions came in and we ended up with 13 items for the raffle. This ended up being quite a bit of work for me, but was very successful. The raffle portion of the fundraiser raised $1,414. The cost associated with this was minimal (I purchased the roll of tickets and the bags to put the tickets in). We are so grateful for all the donated items.
Face painting. I also wasn't planning to do face painting since the lines tend to be long and I didn't know who to get to do it. My friend from church, Lynette, offered to paint faces. She has a friend who is also an adoptive mom who paints faces along with her friend's daughter. Together the three of them painted faces, donated their time and materials. I know the kids loved this. This raised about $100. The only cost to me was a $1 donation bucket.
Lynette in action
Maggie's princess crown
The music. I had so many people tell me how much they enjoyed the music of the night. Bruce Fite, a local children's musician, came and played the first hour. His family came early that night and were a huge help wiping down the tables and chairs after the rain, and putting the tablecloths on. Bruce's wife, Devon, is a friend of mine and I was very grateful for her help. I think everyone should visit his website and purchase his music: http://brucefite.com/
**A not very high quality video, but it's from our event and I can hear my father-in-law shouting Truth. He may or may not be thinking about the upcoming presidential elections. ***
Also, the hay wagon that is being used as a stage was dropped off and picked up by another church member, Martin Harnish. It worked perfectly!
Our church has multiple talented musicians. Two of our church members (Rick Christopher and Teresa Graybill) make up half of a four-piece band. They played a lot of older, classic rock music that was a huge hit. I'm sorry to say I don't have any video of them playing and only got a picture later in the evening as the sun was setting behind them.
Timeless
And one of my all-time favorite people, Marty Sommerfeld, was a true delight to listen to. He has such a great stage presence with his jokes and his music.
My brother-in-law is running sound in the background.
All the musicians donated their time and talent to making a fabulous evening possible. My brother-in-law, Troy, ran the sound for the music. He also helped set up and take down all the tables and chairs.
My mom. I couldn't have done this without my mom. She took our four daughters Friday night so Trent and I could have a restful evening the night before the fundraiser and not have to worry about them Saturday morning. She brought them to the event on Saturday. She even got suckered into helping at one of the games. She missed out on hearing Marty Sommerfeld play which I know she was disappointed about, but she did it for us. My mom is continually sacrificing for our family, and I am grateful. I just realized how high my expectations of my mom are and that I need to be careful and make sure I fully appreciate all she does for us. She also took the girls back to her house Saturday night, got them all bathed and in bed, then up and ready for Sunday School the next morning. We couldn't have done it without her help! And of course I have no pictures of this woman!
My in-laws. Friends, I have just got to brag a minute on my in-laws. I know not everyone has great relationships with their parents-in-law, but I am truly amazed by mine. They are always willing to help. A really cool God-story happened with them. When we were planning how to store the ice cream Trent said it would be nice to have a little chest freezer we could have right outside the church to store it. Just a couple days after he said that his parents were driving home from going out to breakfast and found a chest freezer on the side of the road for $20. It took them multiple trips to the house to find someone home, but the freezer worked and was absolutely perfect for the event. My mother-in-law went on numerous trip to multiple grocery stores finding good deals on toppings and bottled water. She donated all of those things for us, so our cost was very minimal for the toppings. And again, I have no picture of the people who did the most.
THE ICE CREAM! So many people asked the connection on the ice cream. Again, this is a total God-thing! Dawn is a woman I know because she has purchased many signs from me over the years. Every time she picks up her signs we end up talking for an hour in my hallway and I love it! The relationships that I have been able to form through painting has been one of my favorite parts of the job. And Dawn's family is no exception. Dawn's husband works for Turkey Hill, and when we were working on gathering raffle items Dawn mentioned maybe Turkey Hill Experience tickets. Her husband asked if we had ice cream donated yet or not. We didn't. He checked in at work and the next day just asked how many gallons we needed. Our biggest projected expense ended up being 100% free, thanks to Turkey Hill and Dawn and Jeff. Dawn even delivered the ice cream! Could you ask for a better friend?
Me, Dawn and a 3 gallon tub of ice cream!
I feel like this is all out of order and disjointed, but I hope it makes sense to you all. The week of the event the only day with forecasted rain was Saturday. We debated back and forth whether to be outside or in. At 11 am the morning of the event we finally decided that the storms weren't going to develop and we were going to have it outside. At 5 pm, as we had just finished putting out tables and chairs, a storm popped up.
Pouring
We had a downpour for about 10 minutes. I was trying so hard not to cry - and sweet Anna Fite (Bruce's daughter) was so positive and upbeat. I appreciated her so much in that moment. Just before the rain my sister, Stacy, had texted me to see if we needed help setting up. I had said, "No, We're good!". As the rain poured I texted her back and said, "Actually, can you bring ALL your towels once the rain stops?" And she did. As the rain was slowing down I saw my brother-in-law taking a picture. I couldn't believe he was going to take a picture of me stuck in the raffle tent. But as I went to scold him, he said, "Look, there's a rainbow."
All I had to do was turn around. I felt so powerfully that God was showing his love to me in that moment. My sister showed up with towels and together, all of us wiped down tables and chairs, set up table cloths, put out decorations, the musicians set up, the ice cream was brought out, and the event started. Combined with a few donations received just before and after the event, we raised $5,000 to help with our adoption expenses.
It was such a beautiful evening of coming together for the purpose of our little girl. We can't wait for her to join us in that family picture.
I like numbers. I've always enjoyed math. I even considered a career as a math teacher and shadowed a high school math teacher for a couple of days when I was in high school. Anyway, since I enjoy numbers I thought some of you might be interested in an adoption post about numbers. So here goes!
First I'll start with some of our agency's numbers. Our agency does this amazing thing to keep all their families updated. Each month they do a conference call for all the families with dossier's to China (DTC). During these calls they provide numbers as well as offer time to ask questions. Our agency currently has 41 families who are DTC. The longest waiting family has been waiting since mid-November, 2015. Our family is one of 8 families who were DTC in June. Since we have chosen to adopt a young girl with minor special needs our family will likely wait 9 months for our referral.
One month down. We were DTC June 24, 2016 and our Log in Date (LID) was June 27, 2016.
Financial numbers. Talking about the expenses related to adoption tends to make me feel uneasy. It's generally understood that adoption is expensive, but just how costly is it? Our agency prepared us to spend approximately $35,000 for the adoption. Many ask why the cost is so high, and I'll try to explain a little bit. First of all, there are expenses in dealing with paperwork, applying for anything involving paper is costly. Then there are fees related to the time the social workers spend to walk us through all the paperwork, the home study, and the dossier. There are also legal fees, the agency’s cost for staff in China, plane tickets and a 2 week stay in China.
So far we have spent about $9,300. We are grateful to have received donations from friends and family totaling $2,725, meaning we have spent $6,575 of our money. The reason I feel the need to explain this is that I hope people will understand that we are very serious about this adoption. Like the old saying goes, "Put your money where your mouth is," it is my hope that this will display to you all that we are absolutely willing to spend thousands of dollars we have saved in order to bring home our daughter.
The agency spreads out the costs, so far we have just spent money on paperwork and our agency. The next bill we will receive is when we receive our referral. At that time we will have a $15,000 bill which again covers the work of our agency as well as a $6,000 payment that goes to the orphanage which has been caring for our child.
After that we have another 5-6 months until we travel to China. Before we travel we will have another approximately $10,000 to pay which will include our travel and stay in China as well as the additional paperwork required.
As you can see, we still have about $25,000 to pay towards our adoption. We are having a fundraiser in just a couple of weeks at our church. Our Ice Cream Sundae Fundraiser will have build your own ice cream sundaes, there will be live music by several talented musicians, raffle items, kids games and an all around good time! Already we have been tremendously grateful for the support we have received, from donated food, raffle items, the musicians, the games, and all the many details involved in planning this event. We live in such an awesome and supportive community, and we couldn't be more thankful.
Between the ice cream social and late in August a yard sale we hope to raise a significant portion of the funds still needed. It is our hope that those two things and our money we will continue to save that we will have the money we need to bring our girl home! Thank you all again. I hope you enjoyed this numbers post!
