5 Ways to be A Joyful Mama At the Grocery Store

Friends. I don't know about you all, but it seems every other article that pops up on my news feed have titles like:  5 things you're doing wrong, 10 ways you are failing, and 700 ways to get offended at the grocery store.

I'm a pretty big believer of the words and things that go into our mind play out in our actions. It's part of the reason I'm so particular about the movies my children watch, the books they read, and the company they keep.

Yet as Mamas (and Dads) do we do the same thing for ourselves? I know I don't always use the same standard for myself. So I'm going to lay this out there for you all. Stop getting offended at the grocery store. I'm using grocery store since that's the situation in which most mamas find themselves at the end of their rope. I actually don't personally go to the grocery store since I've married the best man ever and he enjoys the grocery shopping. BUT, I do take all five of my daughters pretty much everywhere else: doctor appointments, clothes shopping, greenhouses, soccer practice, the dentist, running at the rail trail, eye exams, etc. These five little tips will help you to get through "small talk" encounters with little old ladies, people who may seem a little nosy, and cashiers, and have joy in your heart when you walk out the door.

Before Ruthie came home, I had all four girls with me at an Amish greenhouse on my road. The young Amish cashier looked at me, looked at the girls, and said, "Are they all yours?" Guys. If you aren't familiar with the Amish community, the average Amish family has 7 children. I only had four. That one was a shocker!

Just today, as I was running errands, I had a young man (!) stop me in the parking lot of TJ Maxx by shouting, "Excuse me!" (he was still in his car) "Are they all yours?? FIVE girls!"

The most common comments I get are, "Are they all yours?", "All girls?!", "Your poor husband", "Just wait until they're teenagers".

And friends. I don't freak out at them. I don't roll my eyes. I don't get offended. Instead, I do these few things.

1. Smile. It's really not a hard thing to do. Treat people with a friendly face and with kindness, the exact same way you want to be treated. A smile goes a long way.

National Taco Day! Smile!

2. Listen. I've noticed that if I stop for even just 30 seconds, most of the time they have a reason for talking to me. The man today wanted me to encourage his young wife that having a big family is great. When he saw me out with all the girls happily walking through the parking lot, he felt he had to say something. An 80-something woman loitered about me last winter just to tell me that she was one of seven girls, and seeing my little family brought back so many cherished childhood memories. Also today at the eye doctor a woman told me she loved watching us because she had four daughters. It's not hard to give people 30 seconds or a minute of your time. Just remember that you may be on their end some day, remembering the joys and trials of taking your kids out to run errands.

Tea time with the loveliest girls around.

3. Take a deep breath. When I was a waitress at the Olive Garden people would often say the same thing to me throughout a 10 hour shift. "Just grate the whole block of cheese on there! Ha-Ha-Ha!" (when asked if they want grated Parmesan cheese on their salad.) They had no way of knowing that they are the 10th table who has told me that same thing today, and it isn't that funny anymore. Having a big family these days is a bit of a curiosity, even in good ole Lancaster County, and even more so because we have all girls. So when you're at your fourth stop on errand running day, and you don't really feel like having the same conversation again, take a deep breath, and repeat step number one.

Sisters going to church

4. Make a Joke. To be honest, I very rarely have people say things that I think are rude and I often wonder where people live who write of the harsh things strangers say to them. The "are they all yours" comment I've been getting since I had three kids. Sometimes families built through adoption take offense to this comment. I don't. I just answer the question with a smile, and "Yes! They're all mine!" On occasion I have people ask if we are going to "keep trying" for a boy. That's kind of an awkward question on a lot of levels, but again, it's just a conversation. I usually answer that question with, "We really, really love having all girls. They are a lot of fun!" And leave it at that. I really believe that the best way to handle strangers is with kindness. You'll likely never see them again, and it isn't really worth getting all worked up over. You give a stranger power over you and your emotions when you take offense.

5. Smile. Again. Because not only are you responding to strangers, your children are watching you. They are watching the way you respond to strangers and they are learning from you. So if you are snippy with strangers, they will learn that's the way to respond when people ask questions. If you treat others with kindness, they will learn to do the same. And even if I've reached the end of my patience and I have a cheeky two-year-old who WILL walk through the parking lot and she DOESN'T need anyone to hold her hand, and a three-year-old who wants to be carried even though my hands are full of bags, and a 7, 8, and 9 year old who are trailing like ducklings and I really just want to buckle everyone up and crank up the radio and drive, if you yell, "Excuse me! Are they all yours?" You can bet that I'll stop, smile, and say, "Yep! All mine!"

All Mine!