Living Sacrifice

If you are living, well, anywhere in the world, you are likely faced with unforeseen circumstances this fall. Sort of the nature of a pandemic, I suppose, is it's affects on everyone, everywhere.

If you have school-aged children you are now presented with further difficulties. Even families like my own who were already home school families, are faced with challenges. Our extra-curricular activities and the normal breaks that help keep us sane are canceled.

Last fall when we brought Heidi home from China we began kicking around the idea of sending our oldest, Anne, to school for the first time. We had many reasons for this such as the extra burden she was taking on as a second mother in the family, her desire for higher level science classes, her desire for friends, and her desire to stretch her wings a little without the constant presence of her five little sisters. My desire for less on my plate also weighed heavily in this decision. We had prayed about it and researched our options and truly felt God leading us to a particular school for her. We loved everything about the school. Then the pandemic hit. We still love the school, we love their reopening plan, we love their desire to put parents in charge of their child's health and not the school. However, we couldn't commit to getting her there daily if (and most likely when) our public school closes for an uptick of cases.

So we found ourselves back in the position of home schooling her. But here's the thing, I had already felt like I released her to someone else to educate. Taking that burden back on myself didn't feel very good. I purchased her curriculum but had no desire to teach it. In fact, as I educated other parents on how to get started teaching their children my joy for teaching my children was diminishing.

I kept pushing back in my mind the fact that we needed to pick a start date. We have two kids that need surgery in September and October. We want to take advantage of our “last” (according to our plans-who knows what God has willed?) year all homeschooling together and take a trip between those surgeries. And there is canning to be done, and rooms to be painted, and therapies to do.

While I was canning tomatoes this weekend I was listening to Eric Metaxas' podcast. He was interviewing Phil Robertson (Duck Dynasty) and, while I can't remember what else Phil talked about, he mentioned a verse that I couldn't get out of my head.

Romans 12:1 “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship.”

I'm sure this verse can apply to many different scenarios. But as Phil said this verse it struck me that I was suddenly unwilling to offer my body, my time, my mind, my energy to my children. I was allowing my desire for what I was hoping to be a little bit of freedom for the first time in nearly 13 years of parenting, to cloud my attitude.

When I instead chose to look at this school year as myself offering myself as a living sacrifice that is holy and pleasing to God, and not only that, as an act of true and proper worship, my whole attitude began to change.

While I know from previous experience that this year will have days that are terrible and hard, I also know there will be days filled with tremendous joy and ease.

The more I thought on these things the more I realized how fortunate I am to be in this position. For many, they don't have any choice but to do whatever the public school forces upon them.

And then, my five-year-old, Ruthie, asked if she could use my phone to take a picture. I handed her my phone and instead of taking a picture of a stuffed animal or the other random (but important to her) things she usually takes photos of, she pointed it at me. Me, in the midst of dressing my 2-year-old, Heidi.

As I looked at the photo later it made me smile. This is how she sees me. Dressing her sister. Making dinner. Reading a story. Doing all the mundane things that make up my life. It's not glamorous but it is mine.

I am actually living the dream I once held for myself. A wife. A mother of many. A teacher. An artist. And many other titles that I don't necessarily enjoy, but all of them are part of me. A house cleaner. A laundress. A mower. (Okay- I do love mowing).

Through all of these days, God is faithful. I encourage each of you to consider the position you are in this fall with your children. Maybe you'll be driving your child to and from a private school. Maybe you'll be teaching them yourself. Maybe you'll be facilitating online learning. Maybe you'll be working from home and trying to juggle all of those things.

I hope, whatever you do this fall, you can remember that when you do those things as if for the Lord, you are offering yourself as a living sacrifice.

Our school room has had this verse hanging on the wall for eight years now, “Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord. To Him be the glory! Amen.” 2 Peter 3:18

Wherever you find yourself for this year, I pray you will look to the Lord for your strength, that you will grow closer as a family, that you will give your children and yourself grace, and that you will grow closer to the Lord. And through all the good and bad and in between days, you will give God the glory.