Joy Returning

Since our foster daughter left joy has returned to our home. We still pray for her daily, but we no longer have the high stress of caring for her in our home. I have so much more patience for everyone else since she no longer consumes all of my energy.

So where have I been this past month? Well, I've been catching up on my sleep, lazing about and doing minimal work. We have started our search for a home. However, that has been a little more stressful than I thought it would be and was consuming a lot of our time. This past weekend we decided to back off a little from the search and not try to force anything. I was reminding myself of how we came to be in this home in Conestoga and how it was not something we were looking for, but the opportunity presented itself and we went for it. Unfortunately, I don't think that every situation will be as clear cut as that one was!  In the meantime I am reminded to seek God's face in our everyday lives and see where He is working.

Today I read Hebrews 12: 2-3 which says, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

I was reminded that while a house is important, it is not the most important thing. In fact, there are much more important things to think about than where we will live. One thing that I would love if you all would pray for is our foster son. In about a week and a half a judge will decide whether he will stay with us or go to the other foster home with his sister. I'll be sure to update you all! In the meantime, we are living JOY-fully!

Talking & Walking

I'm sure all of you are familiar with the saying "You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?"

I've been thinking about that a lot lately as we are entering our fourth month as foster parents. Prior to the children coming it was so easy to "talk the talk" about foster care, about the precious children who need us - a family - a home. And then the children come and we enter the "walking" phase. And that "precious" child is scream-crying, mean to our girls, disruptive, hyper-active and difficult to get along with. And it is hard to remember all those good reasons why we thought foster care was a good idea.

But then, God's grace shines through. The girl had 5 good days in a row. FIVE! That is a large miracle. She was kind, she shared, she slept well and ate well, and we were so grateful at the progress she had made. Unfortunately that positive streak has ended and we've had some rough days again. But I'm hopeful. There will be brighter days ahead.

Our days are crazy. We have so many appointments, doctor appointments, education appointments, dentist appointments, visits with the kids' mom, and the list goes on. Most days are exhausting, but God is giving us the strength to get through. I've been humbled and had to ask for a lot of help.

I can't thank my mother-in-law and my mom enough. They have both been fantastic with helping us with the children. We couldn't do it (and stay sane) without them.

I had high hopes of sending out Christmas cards with a letter like we have done the past few years. Unfortunately, time does not permit me to get that done this year. But - I do hope to put something together in blog form with input from Trent & the kiddos.

Annie Turns Five!

I know I've said it before, and you'll hear me say it multiple times over the years, but there is something really special about turning five. We don't do big birthday parties every year for every child. But turning five is a really big deal. It's a whole hand!! Since I have such a big family usually our birthday parties only involve family. But since turning five is so awesome I thought it would be neat for Anne to invite a couple of friends in addition to all her cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

When I asked her who she wanted to invite she said "Mema, the cousins [referring to her 11 or so first cousins], Grandpa and Grandma and Uncle Troy." I asked if she wanted to invite any friends and she said, "Oh yes! Heather!" Heather is my dear friend and we were neighbors for 5 of the 6 years we lived on N. Mary Street. Unfortunately Heather couldn't make it but she sent her husband and their three adorable children.

 

 We had such a great time!

 A little about my Anne at age five. Anne has always loved books. She had been really wanting me to teach her how to read. About four months ago I bought some very simple easy-reading books (one sentence/page) that were leveled so she could slowly work up to the fourth level. Before the books arrived in the mail I taught her some common sight words (the, and, I, go...). The books arrived and she picked up the first one and read it straight through. Typically there was a picture that could help figure out a difficult word on the page. In about a month's time she was reading at the 4th level. I didn't force this or focus on it too much. It was something that she wanted to do. She was highly motivated to read.

Since our foster children came two and a half months ago I hadn't taught her too many new things. She loved that she could read and would pick up books and read them to the other children while I was cooking, cleaning or washing dishes. One day it occurred to me that she is reading some really high level stuff. She picked up a chapter book and started reading it - with expression - nearly flawlessly. After looking at the reading levels of the books she is reading and doing an online assessment, it would appear that Anne has taught herself in short time how to read -- on a fourth grade level!! {I realize this may come across as bragging, but I am totally impressed by her drive and determination to read! Now if only she had the same love for numbers....}

This was completely Anne's idea to put on the angel wings.

Her pose of choice. {She's crazy but we love her!}

 So obviously at age five Anne loves to read. She also enjoys watching movies. Ice Age and Winnie the Pooh are some favorites. Anne loves to dance in her ballerina dress up clothes. She loves to sing. The "little girls" wanted to listen to kid's songs in the van today but Anne piped up that "I want to listen to WJTL" (Our local Christian radio station.) Just today she was singing "there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning!" I'm so thankful for the good influence of Christian radio.

One of my favorites!!

 The Anne-girl is a sweetheart. She is learning in a very real way God's grace and mercy. She is the leader of the children in this home. It's a huge job - she now has four younger siblings - all of whom look up to her and respect her and watch to see what she is going to do. Foster care has been very challenging for Anne. The girl is not always nice, in fact, she will often intentionally say or do something to upset Anne and she knows just the right buttons to push to get on her nerves. But, when the girl was sick, Anne was the first one to pray for her to feel better. Anne is also very intuitive. One evening at dinner the girl was singing, "Jesus Loves Me" and Anne leaned over to me and said, "Mommy, I want to whisper something in your ear." I leaned over and she said, "You know, she (foster daughter) doesn't talk about 'Chucky' anymore." {For those of you who don't know, Chucky is an evil doll in a horror movie that comes to life and tries to kill people with a knife. Our foster daughter had seen this movie and often talked about Chucky and his knives when she first came. Any time she saw a knife she asked who we were going to kill what that knife.}

She's an angel, right?

 Anne does a very good job at leading our crew. She is a big helper. Of course, she is just a kid, and is usually the last one to have her shoes on because she is lolly-gagging about. But, she can't be perfect, can she?

I hope you have enjoyed reading all about Anne!

Photo credit: JCPenney Portrait Studio - & my awesome sister Audrey Shenk!

A Huge "Thank You"

Many thanks to all of you who have been praying for our family. Last week after I posted we had a great rest of the week. I could feel everyone's prayers. And not only the prayers, I have been greatly encouraged by those of you who have put inspirational things in my mailbox, those who emailed me and sent me messages on Facebook.

Your encouraging words have not fallen on deaf ears. I have received them and I am truly grateful. I know many of you have been in similar situations to what we are in now, and I really appreciate your insight and positive words. And to those who haven't been in our situation but have gone through any difficult time, I appreciate your kind and encouraging words.

Recently I was appalled at someone on Facebook who posted that they were going through a difficult situation. When others tried to encourage her through their personal journeys she rebuffed those attempts of kind and encouraging words, chiding them that they could not possibly understand or compare their situation to her own. I was really bummed that she was missing out on their well-meant encouragement and sent them only condescending remarks for their efforts. If we try hard enough we can learn from nearly any situation. And I am remembering this frustration I felt with this individual and vowing not to be so callous.

I speak in all truthfulness when I tell you all that I am grateful for you all. And those who have never done foster care or something along those lines, I know you have walked a difficult path of your own -- probably even more challenging than this -- and I genuinely appreciate you.

Iced Coffee

Daddy with the mulberries, surrounded by his girls.

I only have a brief update regarding foster care. We had the UV light & filter installed and gave a water sample two days ago. We should know results on Monday. Once we email these results to our caseworker we will be officially approved. 

I don't think I have ever posted a recipe on here, but as I was enjoying my iced coffee this morning I thought I would share it here, just in case, you are like me: A non-morning person, a busy Mama, stay-up-too late kind of person.

Ingredients:
1 can sweetened condensed milk
12 cups hot, strong coffee
Ice cube tray
Whipped cream ** (Optional)

Directions:
Pour coffee into ice cube tray and put in freezer. Open can of sweetened, condensed milk and pour into a pitcher. Pour remaining hot coffee on top of milk. Stir. Put in refrigerator. Once cold, enjoy it!  For a special treat we sometimes put whipped cream on the top and drink it after the kids are asleep. =)

3 beautiful girls and a wheat field

updates

A few random Hess updates:

At Maggie's 18 month check-up she was 32 inches and weighed 20 pounds. Believe it or not, this is EXACTLY what Abbey was at 18 months. When Anne was 18 months she was 33 3/4 inches and weighed 24 pounds. It's kind of interesting to think of Maggie and Abbey being the same size at that age because Abbey always seemed so much more petite.

We're gearing up for Easter and Abbey's 3rd birthday. Since it's nearly impossible to shop for the girls since they're always with me I've done all my shopping online this year. It's beautiful! There's no trying to hide stuff in the cart so they don't see it and packages are being delivered to my doorstep. What's on the menu for this big 3-year-old?? Mac & cheese and Owl cupcakes. Could there be a better meal?

I don't know if you all know this or not, but I like to pretend I'm crafty. I don't feel it's right that I actually claim to be crafty since I use Pinterest or other people to find ideas and I mimic them. But anyway, I'm hoping to have some time next week to upload some photos of some projects I've recently completed. As you can see, I'm more of a Jack of all trades, master of none type of person. I just like to try everything!

Just to tease, here's a sample list of what I've done:
- Knitted a baby blanket for my up-and-coming nephew
- Reupholstered and painted a hallway bench
- Painted a sign or 2
- Tried my hand at flower arranging
- Made a Key holder rack thingy (real technical, I know)
- Started a preschool program with my girls
- Cut and donated Annie and Abbey's hair

Look for me to update with pictures next week!!

Life in the Country

We are so excited to be out in the country. This house is old and it's big and it's outdated, but we love it. We're starting to feel a little bit more settled. I have shades or curtains on most of the windows.... On a side note, do you know how many windows this old house has? 15 downstairs and 15 upstairs. That is 30 windows for those of you who are not skilled in mental math.

I've been having too much fun slowly choosing items to put in our house. We wanted to get a night stand for our bedroom and I found one I liked on Craigslist. When I went to look at it the "table" was bigger than I thought it was going to be. But, it was perfect for a phone table which we were also looking for. The gentleman I bought it from is retired, probably in his 70's and enjoys making furniture from old things (tables, dressers, etc) so the legs and the drawer are old, but the top is new. It's beautiful right?


But now I was left without a night stand and all the way in Ephrata. The man told me that he sells some of his furniture to a little *5 & dime* called "Treasure Nook". He warned me that they really mark up the price. I figured I was already far from home and this little place was just a mile down the road. I stopped in. I noticed the furniture that was Richard's right away. (He does beautiful work!) But, this little piece caught my fancy and the price was right. I think it fits nicely in our old farmhouse.


We were also looking for a dining room table and chairs. We never intended to take our old one with us (it was Trent's when he was living with his guy friends while in college. Need I say more??) If I had my wish (and unlimited $$$) I'd have something like THIS from Old Barn Star (only longer). A farm table, chairs & bench made from an old barn?? That sounds perfect to this old soul. But, since I'm living in real life I had to settle for something else. I found something that I think will be good for our family for several years to come.


Another perk of living in the country is the smell of manure. Okay, just kidding. But since we have an Amish landlord at least the kids get to see him plowing the fields with a team of horses. Jake (our landlord) was at our house just this morning to fix a pipe in the basement. The girls were bugging me to ask Jake if they could pet his horses (he drove down a team of 2 Belgium horses named Mike and Mack--- yes, I also had to ask this question). When Jake was cleaning up and preparing to leave, I asked if the girls could pet his horses. He said, "Yeah, of course!" So, we walked down to where they were tied and he lifted Annie up to pet them. (Did you know Belgium horses are huge?) She was so brave and excited. He lifted Abbey up next and she also was very, VERY brave. Maggie just kept saying "hause, hause!"

Then Jake said, "Do you want to sit up on his back?" Annie's eyes were shining like she had won the lottery. Jake lifted her up onto his huge back and Anne was on cloud 9. I said, "Oh man, I wish I had my camera!" Jake said, "Do you wanna run in and get it?" I couldn't believe my ears. I mean, I thought Amish didn't approve of pictures? I'll have to ask him about that someday, but not this day. I ran into the house and back out with my camera on low-battery. Jake said, "What if we put them both up there together?" Oh my, how precious would that be? He put Abbey up first and she held on tight. While he was lifting Annie the horse took a couple steps forward and Annie bumped her head on a wire holding the telephone pole up. Of course, tears ensued. I snapped a picture quick of Abbey. Can you believe this girl? I mean, she weighs 24 pounds fully dressed with her boots on. I couldn't believe it!


Jake was continually apologizing to Annie for accidentally bumping her head and was asking her forgiveness. She did forgive him, and he said, "It would make me real happy to see you get back up on that horse again. Do you want to try? Mommy can lift you up and I'll hold the horse so he doesn't move." Ummm.. did I mention my children are braver than me??? I was a little nervous being that close to the horse, but I lifted her up as best as I could (did I tell you this horse is enormous?) and she wriggled herself on so she was steady. I stepped back and snapped the picture. Can you see Jake's hand holding the horse tight as promised?


Yes, I love life in the country.

Grace

We talk about "grace" a lot in our home. Trent and I have often said that many children in the church don't know what grace is. Why do young people leave the church? I think a lot of times it is because either they think they don't need grace, or because they have never experienced it.

Something that I have been doing recently when the children do something they shouldn't is to extend grace to them. I try to do it at completely random times. Sometimes it is when they deliberately disobey something I have told them to do. One day Abbey was being really testy. She was riding her tricycle and getting too close the the road. I told her several times not to go so close to the road and that if she did it again she would not get her hot chocolate when we went inside. Of course, her next trip down the sidewalk she nearly rode right off into the street. After scolding her and telling her it was now time to come in, she was completely distraught. She was crying because she knew she wouldn't be getting her hot chocolate. After I tried to explain to her that it is important to listen to Mama because Mama wants to keep her safe and it's not safe to ride out into the street she was starting to calm down...

As the tea kettle started to whistle she was starting to get upset again, knowing that she wouldn't be receiving any. I brought out the mugs and set one in front of Abbey with a packet of hot chocolate. She looked up at me so surprised and happy. I explained that I was showing her "grace", does she know what that means? Anne chimes in, "it's getting what you deserve." Well, not quite... I explain grace to the children like this: "Getting something good, that you don't deserve."

I'm not sure if it has been an effective way to get the children to learn a lesson or to obey any better. But, they do know what "grace" is. They have experienced it in small child-like ways.

This past week I started to realize how much time I spent trying to persuade our eldest child to do anything... get dressed, brush her teeth, put on her socks, etc. I was so frustrated and exhausted by the end of the day because everything was turning into an argument. I want so badly to have an awesome mother-daughter relationship, but was really getting burned out with the constant battle of the wills.

She is four and can, and really should get herself dressed in the morning. But she runs around, goofs off, and tries to avoid it like the plague. Yesterday I got her clothes out for her and told her to get dressed. She did her same old thing. While she did this I didn't talk to her or ask her again to get dressed. Instead, I quietly helped Abbey get dressed and brushed her hair, and did the same with Magdalena. Once they were both ready I took them downstairs to allow them to watch their short video. Anne started to come down to watch and I told her, "I'm sorry, you aren't dressed and don't have your hair brushed so you cannot come down until those things are done." Wow... that lit a fire under her! Who knew the child could dress herself so quickly? Today I did the same thing. I laid her clothes out for her and asked her to get dressed while I helped Abbey. It was amazing how there was no fight over it today. She did it right away and calmly. We'll see if this keeps up.

I wonder if I can incorporate the same idea into other areas where she doesn't obey..... Any suggestions of motivators other than watching something on the computer?