A Broken Heart

I know National Adoption Month is over, and at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I must persist. Friends, my time in China broke my heart in such a profound way that I believe I am only just now, six months later, feeling it's full effect. Visiting Ruth's orphanage was tremendously overwhelming. It was the moment of watching a dozen babies lying on mats outside, that something inside me broke. As my new, terrified daughter clung to me, and I attempted to smile through my tears. I had a sudden epiphany. In that moment, I understood why families do this again and again. Why they give up their time, their energy, and their money.

Psalm 68:6 reads "God places the lonely in families."

I saw a dozen helpless babies, lying on a mat, and I cried for them. I cried for Ruth, that she once laid there. As I type this I bite back tears for the babes lying there even now, and for the ones who will follow.

And yet. God. He is good. I cannot go back to China yet as I hope to someday, but I have six hundred thirty-three friends on Facebook. This morning as I was praying for the children in China, God placed on my heart three friends. Three families who I know well, and who, as far as I know, meet all of China's requirements. And while their homes may not be large, they have the creativity or the finances to make space. For one more. They have strong marriages, wonderful birth children, and much of the American dream. And yet. They are on my heart. Because God.

One of my favorite Christian music groups is Hillsong United. I have had these lyrics thrumming through my veins today and I had to blog. I should be finishing dinner, or cleaning something, but I cannot until I share my broken heart.

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

  

You see, my eyes have seen. I've experienced the redemptive love found only in Christ Jesus. I have seen how to love like He has loved me. My heart has been broken for what breaks His. Scripture demands our care of orphans. I've said before that not everyone is meant to care for orphans in the sense of adoption. But I also believe that is used as a cop out. I think more people are called to cross oceans to set the lonely in families. For 80% of the 100,000 children abandoned each year in China, they will never know the love of a family. You may not be a math nerd like me, so I'll make it easy. EIGHTY THOUSAND innocent babies and children, every year, will not be adopted. They will not have a family.

My prayer is for three friends. If the three friends God has laid on my heart will make a difference for one more child. If your heart could be broken in the way mine has I believe we would see an amazing work happen. 

Adoption is not easy. While our transition with Ruth has been so beautiful, I won't sugar coat the fact that there are challenges along the way. But God has never called Christians to a comfortable life. He asks us to trust Him, to bring sacrifices to Him. And I'll be honest, it's really easy for me to get into a comfortable financial situation and find my security in my money instead of in my God.

Adoption has brought me closer to the LORD. It made me trust in Him for the finances to come together. And God did. In ways that I'm only beginning to see clearly now. My sign painting business was booming the year that we had to pay most of our adoption expenses. Friends and family and some who wished to remain anonymous donated thousands of dollars. The timing of our trip to China was more perfect than we could have ever have thought to attempt to plan.

But isn't that just like God?

Ephesians 3:20-21 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.