What are the chances? One-in-a-million? One-in-two-million? I really have no idea what the chances are. But I do know this:
For the past year or so I have been making Wal*Mart trips after the kids are in bed. These trips usually occur every other month. In this past year I have NEVER once seen a single person that I know during these evening trips alone.
Last night I made my trip for those necessities that are so much cheaper at Wal*Mart; such as the ever essential toilet paper which we use so much of with all of these girls. I was nearly finished with my list when I went to the opposite side of the store for the very last item on my list. As I was walking I glanced down an aisle and thought, "that lady looks familiar." I did a double take and stopped in my tracks.
It was our former foster children's new foster mother. I inquired of the children, eager for the news that the caseworker does not gives us. I have always had the other foster family's phone number but it never seemed right to call. And then I see her at Wal*Mart. And again, I ask, what are the chances? I believe that only God could have orchestrated this "chance" meeting.
I'm still trying to process my feelings over this encounter.
After talking to her for several minutes she showed me a photo of our foster son's hair cut. I could have cried. (And later I did.) I had begged for his hair to be cut, but his mom would not allow it. She finally did, and he looked so adorable. He lost his "baby" look and instead gained the face of a toddler. The teeth he was cutting when he left came through. I don't know if I would have recognized him. And that was hard to take.
Our foster daughter is much the same. She regressed when her brother came to live with them. Our foster son was completely out of sorts until just recently.
It was a painful meeting. I'm not sure why God allowed it. My "mother's heart" was so hurt at hearing how our foster son was confused, not sleeping well, and crying.
I will forever carry this little boy in my heart. I know that no matter how long I live I will wonder about where he is and if he is safe. I will pray for him as I do my own girls.
I do not understand the ways of God, nor do I pretend to. These two children have forever changed me. I'm sure that they have impacted me more than I did them.
The hurt I am feeling is still raw. I like to understand why things happen, and I don't know that I ever will be able to fully comprehend this situation.
I decided to tell the girls this morning about my meeting last evening and Anne cried. Maggie emphatically claimed how she missed him. Abbey insisted that we pray for him immediately. They want him to come back, but he never will. Their hearts are still hurting.
I believe they will be very different adults for having this experience as children. We are all changed. Loving someone deeply and letting them go will never be easy. It is my first experience with a grief so deep.
I apologize for this somewhat rambling post, as I mentioned before I am still processing these feelings. I promise to post something more positive in the future!
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Humbled
Humbled.
By a five-year-old. It never ceases to amaze me the Spiritual depth that a child so young can have.
Over the past few weeks I have beendiligently searching obsessing over houses. What is the right house for us? Is now a good time to move? What is God's timing? Will the "perfect" house ever come along? I have spent countless hours on the real estate website, zillow, the county assessment site, searching, researching and following the trail of every possible house that might be an option for us.
Last week at the mom's group I attend we had a guest speaker talking about prayer, and how to "Pray Like Crazy for your Kids" and "Pray Like Crazy for your Husband". She talked about fasting in a way I had never heard before. Since there isn't a particular food that I care for above any other, I decided that I would fast from house searching during the day since it was taking so much TIME. Trent and I would still look together in the evenings, but during the day I would fast from it. Our speaker said that fasting and praying go hand-in-hand. You can't have one without the other. During the time that I would normally spend house hunting I would spend in prayer. This is often 30-45 minutes while the kids are napping. And any time throughout the day that a house or houses would pop into my head I would say a quick prayer. I didn't really pray specific prayers, more just along the lines of peace, in trusting in God's timing and God's will.
But where was I? Oh yes, I was humbled. So here I thought I had grown tremendously this past week (and I still think I have!), when my five year old humbled me. We put an offer in on a house on Monday, and on Tuesday afternoon the offer was accepted! We still have details to work out, but my prayer is that from here on out things will go smoothly.
This morning at breakfast I was excited about this house and thinking about light fixtures and paint and mentally organizing the house (because I'm crazy like that) when Anne starts talking. Our conversation went something like this:
Anne, " Last night after you went out of my room, I prayed that Satan would just turn around and that he would tell God that he is sorry and that he would stop trying to get people to do bad things. And then maybe God would let him be an angel again."
*I think my heart stopped beating here.*
Abbey chimes in with, "And then Annie prayed for your dad that you used to have when you were a little girl and that he would love Jesus, too."
*And here my heart broke.*
I think some people are born with a humble spirit. I was not. I like to feel independent. Unfortunately independence and pride are often best friends. I had felt pretty proud and excited about the Spiritual transformation that I had seen in myself in the past week. And then my five and almost four-year-old daughters displayed so much more Spiritual maturity than I have at 28.
Don't get me wrong. I truly believe that God cares and hears our prayers for the things we worry about and struggle with, things that are often of this world (such as houses)! And he answers those prayers as I have seen in my life this week. How much more will He hear and answer the innocent prayers of sweet children who are praying (not for a house) but for lost souls?? I mean, who prays for Satan???
I had spend so much time thinking and obsessing and worrying and praying about a house. When was the last time I prayed for my dad's soul? When was the last time I prayed for anyone's soul? I have multiple family members who are not walking with the Lord. Why don't I pray for them??? How is is that I have enough faith to pray for a house and believe that God will answer that prayer, but not enough faith to pray for the lost all around me?
Mark 9:24 says, "Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!""
In this passage of Scripture Jesus' disciples had tried to cast an evil spirit out of a boy, but could not do it. The boy was brought to Jesus and the father pleaded that if Jesus could do anything to please have pity on them and help the boy. Jesus responds, "If you can? Everything is possible to him who believes." And that is when the boy's father says, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
Sometimes things seem so impossible to me because I have seen no change for years. Perhaps much as this boy's father had seen no change in him for many years. Yet, he wanted to believe. Sometimes in our human and imperfect lives it is so hard to truly believe that something long unchanged CAN BE TRANSFORMED!!
This morning Jesus spoke to me through my two small children. If they can pray for lost souls, so can I. And I will pray, believing for change, and at the same time asking for help to overcome my unbelief. Thank you, Lord, for entrusting these precious children to me. So often I believe I am the one who will be nurturing them, encouraging them, spurring them on to do the good works of the Lord, when clearly, at least today, it was the opposite.
By a five-year-old. It never ceases to amaze me the Spiritual depth that a child so young can have.
Over the past few weeks I have been
Last week at the mom's group I attend we had a guest speaker talking about prayer, and how to "Pray Like Crazy for your Kids" and "Pray Like Crazy for your Husband". She talked about fasting in a way I had never heard before. Since there isn't a particular food that I care for above any other, I decided that I would fast from house searching during the day since it was taking so much TIME. Trent and I would still look together in the evenings, but during the day I would fast from it. Our speaker said that fasting and praying go hand-in-hand. You can't have one without the other. During the time that I would normally spend house hunting I would spend in prayer. This is often 30-45 minutes while the kids are napping. And any time throughout the day that a house or houses would pop into my head I would say a quick prayer. I didn't really pray specific prayers, more just along the lines of peace, in trusting in God's timing and God's will.
But where was I? Oh yes, I was humbled. So here I thought I had grown tremendously this past week (and I still think I have!), when my five year old humbled me. We put an offer in on a house on Monday, and on Tuesday afternoon the offer was accepted! We still have details to work out, but my prayer is that from here on out things will go smoothly.
This morning at breakfast I was excited about this house and thinking about light fixtures and paint and mentally organizing the house (because I'm crazy like that) when Anne starts talking. Our conversation went something like this:
Anne, " Last night after you went out of my room, I prayed that Satan would just turn around and that he would tell God that he is sorry and that he would stop trying to get people to do bad things. And then maybe God would let him be an angel again."
*I think my heart stopped beating here.*
Abbey chimes in with, "And then Annie prayed for your dad that you used to have when you were a little girl and that he would love Jesus, too."
*And here my heart broke.*
I think some people are born with a humble spirit. I was not. I like to feel independent. Unfortunately independence and pride are often best friends. I had felt pretty proud and excited about the Spiritual transformation that I had seen in myself in the past week. And then my five and almost four-year-old daughters displayed so much more Spiritual maturity than I have at 28.
Don't get me wrong. I truly believe that God cares and hears our prayers for the things we worry about and struggle with, things that are often of this world (such as houses)! And he answers those prayers as I have seen in my life this week. How much more will He hear and answer the innocent prayers of sweet children who are praying (not for a house) but for lost souls?? I mean, who prays for Satan???
I had spend so much time thinking and obsessing and worrying and praying about a house. When was the last time I prayed for my dad's soul? When was the last time I prayed for anyone's soul? I have multiple family members who are not walking with the Lord. Why don't I pray for them??? How is is that I have enough faith to pray for a house and believe that God will answer that prayer, but not enough faith to pray for the lost all around me?
Mark 9:24 says, "Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!""
In this passage of Scripture Jesus' disciples had tried to cast an evil spirit out of a boy, but could not do it. The boy was brought to Jesus and the father pleaded that if Jesus could do anything to please have pity on them and help the boy. Jesus responds, "If you can? Everything is possible to him who believes." And that is when the boy's father says, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
Sometimes things seem so impossible to me because I have seen no change for years. Perhaps much as this boy's father had seen no change in him for many years. Yet, he wanted to believe. Sometimes in our human and imperfect lives it is so hard to truly believe that something long unchanged CAN BE TRANSFORMED!!
This morning Jesus spoke to me through my two small children. If they can pray for lost souls, so can I. And I will pray, believing for change, and at the same time asking for help to overcome my unbelief. Thank you, Lord, for entrusting these precious children to me. So often I believe I am the one who will be nurturing them, encouraging them, spurring them on to do the good works of the Lord, when clearly, at least today, it was the opposite.
Friday, March 1, 2013
A Heartbreaking Good-Bye
Last week we said good-bye to our dear foster son. The judge approved for him to move to the same foster home as his sister. I received a call from a caseworker at 11:30 am that this was the decision, and a caseworker came an hour later and picked him up.
I had been mentally preparing myself for this as we knew there was a very real possibility that he would leave. I had already packed most of his toys. I had one hour to pack his remaining items and say good-bye. I was a complete disaster. I didn't have an emotional attachment to most of his clothing, but my mom had made matching pajamas for the kids for Christmas - in a Christmas plaid. It was a long-sleeve button up shirt that we always called his "old man pajamas" because he reminded us of a little old man toddling around in a night shirt. When I got to that pair of pajamas to put away forever I cried and cried and cried.
Before I knew it the caseworker had arrived at our home. She began taking his things to her car. She walked out the door and our foster son said, "Bye-bye!" I lost it again. The poor dear didn't understand that it would be him leaving this time.
She took him from my arms. I kissed his chubby cheeks for the last time. She took him away. I watched from the window, sobbing silently and she carried my little boy away. I'll never forget him sitting in the back seat, looking around, probably wondering where he was going and why. They drove away and were gone from our lives.
This good-bye was much more difficult for me than I expected. I closed his bedroom door because it was too painful for me to see his crib and know that he will never sleep in it again.
The day passed, slowly and painfully. But the next morning came, and there was joy. Despite the sadness, there was joy. Each day has gotten easier. Much as we loved him, he also carried with him a huge burden, one that we had gladly shouldered, but a burden nonetheless.
Yesterday marked one week since he departure. I finally gathered up the sheets and blankets from his crib to wash. As a put one of the blankets into the machine I caught a whiff of his smell. I held the blanket to my face and smelled him for the last time. I considered not washing the blanket, but thought it would help me move on if I didn't have that reminder of him.
Today Maggie found the ball we got him for his birthday under the couch. She said she misses him. We all do. We are moving on, but we still miss him. I am thankful that he is with a Christian family and will continue to pray for him and his sister.
I had been mentally preparing myself for this as we knew there was a very real possibility that he would leave. I had already packed most of his toys. I had one hour to pack his remaining items and say good-bye. I was a complete disaster. I didn't have an emotional attachment to most of his clothing, but my mom had made matching pajamas for the kids for Christmas - in a Christmas plaid. It was a long-sleeve button up shirt that we always called his "old man pajamas" because he reminded us of a little old man toddling around in a night shirt. When I got to that pair of pajamas to put away forever I cried and cried and cried.
Before I knew it the caseworker had arrived at our home. She began taking his things to her car. She walked out the door and our foster son said, "Bye-bye!" I lost it again. The poor dear didn't understand that it would be him leaving this time.
She took him from my arms. I kissed his chubby cheeks for the last time. She took him away. I watched from the window, sobbing silently and she carried my little boy away. I'll never forget him sitting in the back seat, looking around, probably wondering where he was going and why. They drove away and were gone from our lives.
This good-bye was much more difficult for me than I expected. I closed his bedroom door because it was too painful for me to see his crib and know that he will never sleep in it again.
The day passed, slowly and painfully. But the next morning came, and there was joy. Despite the sadness, there was joy. Each day has gotten easier. Much as we loved him, he also carried with him a huge burden, one that we had gladly shouldered, but a burden nonetheless.
Yesterday marked one week since he departure. I finally gathered up the sheets and blankets from his crib to wash. As a put one of the blankets into the machine I caught a whiff of his smell. I held the blanket to my face and smelled him for the last time. I considered not washing the blanket, but thought it would help me move on if I didn't have that reminder of him.
Today Maggie found the ball we got him for his birthday under the couch. She said she misses him. We all do. We are moving on, but we still miss him. I am thankful that he is with a Christian family and will continue to pray for him and his sister.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Kids Say the Darndest Things.....
For all of you who enjoy a good Anne-story I thought I'd share a few of my favorites on here.
Anne (age 2) March 6, 2010: Woke up crying at 3:00 am. Trent went into her room to ask what was wrong. She cried, "It pinched me!" Trent said, "What pinched you???" She said, "The little monkey pinched me!!" I guess she was dreaming.
Anne (age 2) Mama asked her what she wants to be when she grow up. Anne said, "I want to be a wolf!"
Anne (age 2 1/2): Trent took a phone call and it was a political survey. Anne wanted to know who he was talking to so I tried to explain it and we ended up role-playing. This was our conversation:
Mama: How do you feel about Barak Obama?
Anne: (shrugs): It's a good name ..... for a dog.
She was so serious and straight-faced when she said this. It was absolutely hilarious because she really didn't know what she was talking about, it was just her first thought upon hearing that name.
Anne (almost 3) was taking a bath. She asked Trent if she could see his armpit. Then she lifted up her arm and said, "I don't have fur in my armpit!"
Abbey (21 months): stood on an upside down basked, tumbled off, hit the couch and landed on the floor. She stood up and said, "HOLY MOLY"
January 2011: Anne and Abbey were in their room playing when they were supposed to be sleeping. Suddenly Anne started crying and screaming. Trent called through the door, "Anne, what's wrong?" She responded as she cried, "I told Abbey to bite me and she did..... really hard!!" A few minutes later we heard her saying, "Abbey, don't EVER do THAT Again!!"
Anne (age 3): 7 am at the breakfast table. "Daddy, does God have nipples?"
Anne (age 3): was in need of distraction at breakfast. I asked if Annie had any dreams last night. She said, "Yeah, I dreamed wolves and sparrows and munk-chunks (chipmunks) were eating me." Daddy asked, "Didn't that hurt?" Anne laughed and said, "No! It wasn't real, it was just a dream!!"
Anne (age 3) Abbey (age 23 months) were talking about all of their grandpas. Abbey was saying, "Paw-Paw", and Anne was trying to explain who Great-Grandpa Parmarter was. Anne said, "Well, Abbey, some grandpas are great, and some are just good."
Magdalena (11months) Trent was in the other room and passed gas loudly. Maggie instantly imitated the fart noise with her mouth.
Anne (3 1/2 year) at Aunt Stacy's wedding Marty Sommerfeld was singing "God blessed the broken Road" and Anne loudly asked, "What broken road???"
Anne (4) Abbey (2 1/2) were in their room supposed to be sleeping they were singing "Peter and John went to pray" but they changed the chorus to "he went walking and POOPING and praising God". Obviously this was Anne's doing and Abbey was laughing hysterically. Wouldn't you know the next day (Sunday) Abbey's Sunday School lesson was the lame man and she sang "Walking and pooping" in her class!!
Anne (4) was throwing a fit in her room. We heard her saying, "I just can't bear this any longer!"
Anne (4) Abbey (2 3/4) at lunch
Anne, "You know, groundhog day is coming up."
Abbey, "Oh... what's that?"
Anne, "It's when the groundhogs come out of their holes and the men shoot them when they pop their heads up."
Abbey, "Oh.... Paw-Paw has a gun."
Abbey (almost 3) said to Annie, "DO NOT mangle up my kitty sticker!"
Anne (4 1/2 years) We were talking about heaven and Annie said, "Granny's in heaven" (Granny is Trent's paternal grandmother). Trent and I both said, "Aww... yeah, Granny's in heaven." Annie siad, "Yeah, I bet she's in heaven scolding God."
Anne (4 1/2 years) "Mom! My cow hurts" (Meaning her calf.)
Maggie (22 months) "Emily, I want more of that." {at breakfast, meaning cereal}
Maggie (almost 2) We were in line at KMart and there was a man with longish hair in a ponytail. Maggie said {very loudly} "Is that Jesus??? MOMMMY!! Is that JESUS!!??"
Maggie (age 2) I was trying to help her up on the rocking chair and I accidently poked her under her eye. She said, "Ouch, my ankle!"
Abbey (almost 4) was in the bath and held a wide tooth comb over her chest. She exclaimed, "Look! My nipples are in jail!"
Anne (5) Abbey (almost 4) Maggie (2 1/2) I asked them what they want to be when they grow up. Their responses:
Anne "A nurse"
Abbey "A foster mom"
Maggie, "A foster kid."
Hope these were for for you to read!!
Anne (age 2) March 6, 2010: Woke up crying at 3:00 am. Trent went into her room to ask what was wrong. She cried, "It pinched me!" Trent said, "What pinched you???" She said, "The little monkey pinched me!!" I guess she was dreaming.
Anne (age 2) Mama asked her what she wants to be when she grow up. Anne said, "I want to be a wolf!"
Anne (age 2 1/2): Trent took a phone call and it was a political survey. Anne wanted to know who he was talking to so I tried to explain it and we ended up role-playing. This was our conversation:
Mama: How do you feel about Barak Obama?
Anne: (shrugs): It's a good name ..... for a dog.
She was so serious and straight-faced when she said this. It was absolutely hilarious because she really didn't know what she was talking about, it was just her first thought upon hearing that name.
Anne (almost 3) was taking a bath. She asked Trent if she could see his armpit. Then she lifted up her arm and said, "I don't have fur in my armpit!"
Abbey (21 months): stood on an upside down basked, tumbled off, hit the couch and landed on the floor. She stood up and said, "HOLY MOLY"
January 2011: Anne and Abbey were in their room playing when they were supposed to be sleeping. Suddenly Anne started crying and screaming. Trent called through the door, "Anne, what's wrong?" She responded as she cried, "I told Abbey to bite me and she did..... really hard!!" A few minutes later we heard her saying, "Abbey, don't EVER do THAT Again!!"
Anne (age 3): 7 am at the breakfast table. "Daddy, does God have nipples?"
Anne (age 3): was in need of distraction at breakfast. I asked if Annie had any dreams last night. She said, "Yeah, I dreamed wolves and sparrows and munk-chunks (chipmunks) were eating me." Daddy asked, "Didn't that hurt?" Anne laughed and said, "No! It wasn't real, it was just a dream!!"
Anne (age 3) Abbey (age 23 months) were talking about all of their grandpas. Abbey was saying, "Paw-Paw", and Anne was trying to explain who Great-Grandpa Parmarter was. Anne said, "Well, Abbey, some grandpas are great, and some are just good."
Magdalena (11months) Trent was in the other room and passed gas loudly. Maggie instantly imitated the fart noise with her mouth.
Anne (3 1/2 year) at Aunt Stacy's wedding Marty Sommerfeld was singing "God blessed the broken Road" and Anne loudly asked, "What broken road???"
Anne (4) Abbey (2 1/2) were in their room supposed to be sleeping they were singing "Peter and John went to pray" but they changed the chorus to "he went walking and POOPING and praising God". Obviously this was Anne's doing and Abbey was laughing hysterically. Wouldn't you know the next day (Sunday) Abbey's Sunday School lesson was the lame man and she sang "Walking and pooping" in her class!!
Anne (4) was throwing a fit in her room. We heard her saying, "I just can't bear this any longer!"
Anne (4) Abbey (2 3/4) at lunch
Anne, "You know, groundhog day is coming up."
Abbey, "Oh... what's that?"
Anne, "It's when the groundhogs come out of their holes and the men shoot them when they pop their heads up."
Abbey, "Oh.... Paw-Paw has a gun."
Abbey (almost 3) said to Annie, "DO NOT mangle up my kitty sticker!"
Anne (4 1/2 years) We were talking about heaven and Annie said, "Granny's in heaven" (Granny is Trent's paternal grandmother). Trent and I both said, "Aww... yeah, Granny's in heaven." Annie siad, "Yeah, I bet she's in heaven scolding God."
Anne (4 1/2 years) "Mom! My cow hurts" (Meaning her calf.)
Maggie (22 months) "Emily, I want more of that." {at breakfast, meaning cereal}
Maggie (almost 2) We were in line at KMart and there was a man with longish hair in a ponytail. Maggie said {very loudly} "Is that Jesus??? MOMMMY!! Is that JESUS!!??"
Maggie (age 2) I was trying to help her up on the rocking chair and I accidently poked her under her eye. She said, "Ouch, my ankle!"
Abbey (almost 4) was in the bath and held a wide tooth comb over her chest. She exclaimed, "Look! My nipples are in jail!"
Anne (5) Abbey (almost 4) Maggie (2 1/2) I asked them what they want to be when they grow up. Their responses:
Anne "A nurse"
Abbey "A foster mom"
Maggie, "A foster kid."
Hope these were for for you to read!!
Joy Returning
Since our foster daughter left joy has returned to our home. We still pray for her daily, but we no longer have the high stress of caring for her in our home. I have so much more patience for everyone else since she no longer consumes all of my energy.
So where have I been this past month? Well, I've been catching up on my sleep, lazing about and doing minimal work. We have started our search for a home. However, that has been a little more stressful than I thought it would be and was consuming a lot of our time. This past weekend we decided to back off a little from the search and not try to force anything. I was reminding myself of how we came to be in this home in Conestoga and how it was not something we were looking for, but the opportunity presented itself and we went for it. Unfortunately, I don't think that every situation will be as clear cut as that one was! In the meantime I am reminded to seek God's face in our everyday lives and see where He is working.
Today I read Hebrews 12: 2-3 which says, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
I was reminded that while a house is important, it is not the most important thing. In fact, there are much more important things to think about than where we will live. One thing that I would love if you all would pray for is our foster son. In about a week and a half a judge will decide whether he will stay with us or go to the other foster home with his sister. I'll be sure to update you all! In the meantime, we are living JOY-fully!
So where have I been this past month? Well, I've been catching up on my sleep, lazing about and doing minimal work. We have started our search for a home. However, that has been a little more stressful than I thought it would be and was consuming a lot of our time. This past weekend we decided to back off a little from the search and not try to force anything. I was reminding myself of how we came to be in this home in Conestoga and how it was not something we were looking for, but the opportunity presented itself and we went for it. Unfortunately, I don't think that every situation will be as clear cut as that one was! In the meantime I am reminded to seek God's face in our everyday lives and see where He is working.
Today I read Hebrews 12: 2-3 which says, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
I was reminded that while a house is important, it is not the most important thing. In fact, there are much more important things to think about than where we will live. One thing that I would love if you all would pray for is our foster son. In about a week and a half a judge will decide whether he will stay with us or go to the other foster home with his sister. I'll be sure to update you all! In the meantime, we are living JOY-fully!
Friday, January 18, 2013
Emotions
This morning, after five months of living in our home, our foster daughter left our home. She has grown and changed throughout her five months with us, yet she has also struggled. She has always had many tantrums (among other issues), and prior to Christmas she completely lost control. While in time-out in her bedroom she climbed on top of a dresser, unlocked the window and was opening it to climb out of the 2nd story onto a porch roof. It was then that I realized I cannot keep her safe. Her fits continued and about a week after the window incident she was again in time-out and punched herself in the face and made her nose bleed. We could not keep her with us any longer.
After informing our caseworker we were told that it may be up to 30 days for them to find a family to take the children. Siblings came together and should leave together. However, after the self-harming incident the children's official guardian through the county thought it may be in each of the children's best interest to be separated. Our hope was that our foster daughter would go to a home where there are no other small children so she could receive as much attention as possible. About a week after hearing they may be separated we heard that no, they will stay together. We were upset, but understood. And after hearing they would stay together we were told that there is a disagreement between the "agency" and the "guardian". One believes they should stay together and the other believes they should be separated. It is up to a judge to determine this.
In the meantime, a family was found for the children. Our foster daughter had another fit at lunch yesterday which resulted in her throwing her plate and attempting to hit Maggie. I called our caseworker mid-fit and she was shocked at the screaming and the yelling that was going on. We heard at 5 pm yesterday that our foster daughter was going to be removed from our home, but that our foster son will be stay with us until a judge can determine whether they should be together or separated.
As our foster daughter left today there were many tears shed by Anne and Abbey. However, in a short time they were happy again. Our foster daughter needs a lot of help and I am certain she will get it with the new family. We will still see her occasionally which I believe will help our children and her in this transition.
We are feeling very much at peace with this. We just ask for continued prayer that when this goes before the judge that the right decision will be made.
After informing our caseworker we were told that it may be up to 30 days for them to find a family to take the children. Siblings came together and should leave together. However, after the self-harming incident the children's official guardian through the county thought it may be in each of the children's best interest to be separated. Our hope was that our foster daughter would go to a home where there are no other small children so she could receive as much attention as possible. About a week after hearing they may be separated we heard that no, they will stay together. We were upset, but understood. And after hearing they would stay together we were told that there is a disagreement between the "agency" and the "guardian". One believes they should stay together and the other believes they should be separated. It is up to a judge to determine this.
In the meantime, a family was found for the children. Our foster daughter had another fit at lunch yesterday which resulted in her throwing her plate and attempting to hit Maggie. I called our caseworker mid-fit and she was shocked at the screaming and the yelling that was going on. We heard at 5 pm yesterday that our foster daughter was going to be removed from our home, but that our foster son will be stay with us until a judge can determine whether they should be together or separated.
As our foster daughter left today there were many tears shed by Anne and Abbey. However, in a short time they were happy again. Our foster daughter needs a lot of help and I am certain she will get it with the new family. We will still see her occasionally which I believe will help our children and her in this transition.
We are feeling very much at peace with this. We just ask for continued prayer that when this goes before the judge that the right decision will be made.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
The Year of Rejuvenation!
Well, we're already a week into 2013. So far it doesn't feel much different from 2012 - but I have high hopes for this year. We are hoping that 2013 will be the year of rejuvenation for our family. We're not exactly sure what this year will look like, but we have some ideas knocking around in these crazy heads of ours.
One thing that may happen in 2013 is a move. We're hoping to take advantage of the low interest rates and the bummer of a seller's market (that bit us in 2012) and snag a home where we can stay for a long long time and raise our family. We're hopeful that our next home will have a better internet connection than we have here at Sunrise Hollow - the "hollow" indicates a dip in the landscape and that translates to poor cell phone reception which means poor internet connection since we have a wireless card that runs off cell phone tower reception.
We are also fairly certain that we (as in I) will be homeschooling Anne for Kindergarten. I am actually extremely excited about this. I have been looking up curriculum and can hardly wait to start teaching her! Anne has decided that she likes numbers after all and is now teaching herself to add and subtract. Over the summer I had started to teach her but she wasn't interested and didn't understand so I let it go. Now she has it in her head that she loves numbers. On the way to a doctor appointment earlier this week she was in the back of the van teaching Abbey, "Now, if I have one cat and I give it to you, then how many do I have?" Abbey answers, "None", Anne responds, "That's right, Abbey! You can do math, too!" Anne has lofty dreams for herself. Some things she would like to learn in 2013 - to play an instrument (she has a recorder thanks to Uncle Todd & (soon-to-be) Aunt Sarah), she also would like to learn how to speak Spanish, sew all kinds of things (she has made one doll quilt so far from her sewing kit she got for Christmas), and she wants to learn geography and about animals and read a lot more books.
Abbey continues to be a little bit less vocal about what she wants to do. I think that in 2013 Abbey will begin reading even more (she can read over a dozen words now). I imagine Abbey will also learn to sew a little later in the year. If Anne starts music lessons (I would prefer piano) then I imagine Abbey will learn that as well. I'd also like to have a table set up for Abbey to work on larger puzzles over a period of days since she can do 60-piece puzzles with very little trouble and she really enjoys puzzling away!
My big goal for Magdalena is to potty-train her! As my faithful readers know, potty training is the bane of my existence as Mama Hess. I'm not good at it and I don't have the patience for it. But, at nearly 2 1/2 she's the oldest of any of the girls to not yet be potty trained. So, it has to be done. Anne also plans to teach Maggie her alphabet this year. She can write the letter "M", and is finally starting to be more interested in reading and writing! Maggie has also started enjoying craft time so I imagine 2013 will be filled with crafts galore!
2013 will bring about two family weddings. I am beyond thrilled for each of these couples. I have the tremendous honor of being a bridesmaid in one of the weddings and the girls will also be the flower girls for this wedding. I promise to post lots of pictures!
Other than that, I hope to actually have a spare moment or two to pick up my Bible that has sat and gathered dust on the shelf since our foster children came. I've missed the comfort of holding it and praying while the kiddos nap. These days I'm so exhausted by the time I get all 5 kids down to nap that I also nap when I used to have my quiet time. So after being completely drained of all physical, emotional and spiritual strength at the end of 2012 I'm hoping that in 2013 I will be rejuvenated physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Looking forward to another year of blogging!
One thing that may happen in 2013 is a move. We're hoping to take advantage of the low interest rates and the bummer of a seller's market (that bit us in 2012) and snag a home where we can stay for a long long time and raise our family. We're hopeful that our next home will have a better internet connection than we have here at Sunrise Hollow - the "hollow" indicates a dip in the landscape and that translates to poor cell phone reception which means poor internet connection since we have a wireless card that runs off cell phone tower reception.
We are also fairly certain that we (as in I) will be homeschooling Anne for Kindergarten. I am actually extremely excited about this. I have been looking up curriculum and can hardly wait to start teaching her! Anne has decided that she likes numbers after all and is now teaching herself to add and subtract. Over the summer I had started to teach her but she wasn't interested and didn't understand so I let it go. Now she has it in her head that she loves numbers. On the way to a doctor appointment earlier this week she was in the back of the van teaching Abbey, "Now, if I have one cat and I give it to you, then how many do I have?" Abbey answers, "None", Anne responds, "That's right, Abbey! You can do math, too!" Anne has lofty dreams for herself. Some things she would like to learn in 2013 - to play an instrument (she has a recorder thanks to Uncle Todd & (soon-to-be) Aunt Sarah), she also would like to learn how to speak Spanish, sew all kinds of things (she has made one doll quilt so far from her sewing kit she got for Christmas), and she wants to learn geography and about animals and read a lot more books.
Abbey continues to be a little bit less vocal about what she wants to do. I think that in 2013 Abbey will begin reading even more (she can read over a dozen words now). I imagine Abbey will also learn to sew a little later in the year. If Anne starts music lessons (I would prefer piano) then I imagine Abbey will learn that as well. I'd also like to have a table set up for Abbey to work on larger puzzles over a period of days since she can do 60-piece puzzles with very little trouble and she really enjoys puzzling away!
My big goal for Magdalena is to potty-train her! As my faithful readers know, potty training is the bane of my existence as Mama Hess. I'm not good at it and I don't have the patience for it. But, at nearly 2 1/2 she's the oldest of any of the girls to not yet be potty trained. So, it has to be done. Anne also plans to teach Maggie her alphabet this year. She can write the letter "M", and is finally starting to be more interested in reading and writing! Maggie has also started enjoying craft time so I imagine 2013 will be filled with crafts galore!
2013 will bring about two family weddings. I am beyond thrilled for each of these couples. I have the tremendous honor of being a bridesmaid in one of the weddings and the girls will also be the flower girls for this wedding. I promise to post lots of pictures!
Other than that, I hope to actually have a spare moment or two to pick up my Bible that has sat and gathered dust on the shelf since our foster children came. I've missed the comfort of holding it and praying while the kiddos nap. These days I'm so exhausted by the time I get all 5 kids down to nap that I also nap when I used to have my quiet time. So after being completely drained of all physical, emotional and spiritual strength at the end of 2012 I'm hoping that in 2013 I will be rejuvenated physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Looking forward to another year of blogging!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)