Just the other night, while searching under my bed for a long lost journal (which I did not find), I came across a bag of pictures. This one was near the top. The first day of third grade. I don't know how I got that picture, or if my mom came to school with me that day. It would be unusual as I rode the bus to school, but nothing that year was normal. Maybe the teacher took it and gave it to my mom. I don't know.
First day of third grade, Conestoga Elementary.
The summer before I started third grade a classmate and friend was killed by a drunk driver. At the time I had said she was my best friend. Looking back, I wonder how many other classmates felt the same way. I do know that we were very close. As I looked at the above photograph I had a flash flood of memories start to sweep me away.
So many little things about Kristine came back to me in that moment. She wasn't in the photograph but her presence was there. Before she died she had gotten a pony tail holder stuck in her hair. Instead of waiting for her mom to untangle it, she got a pair of scissors and cut it out, along with a nice chunk of the back of her hair. In the weeks before she died she gave me two cards while we were at the pool together. I distinctly remember sitting at the edge of the 12 feet. It was an adult swim. She ran over to her towel and back to me with the cards. We sat together, feet dangling in the water. One was a birthday card. This was odd as my birthday is in January. She said she had forgotten my birthday and wanted me to have this card. The second was a card asking if I wanted to get together to make a present for our third grade teacher. We never got the chance. I made one without her and gave it to the teacher, from both of us.
I remember being upset with Kristine the night she died. Our community pool was having a midnight swim. It was the highlight of the summer for us kids. We made our plans to meet there. She never showed up. I couldn't believe my friend would stand me up like that.
The next morning at church, a man from our congregation stood up and asked for prayer. He was an EMT, on the scene of an accident the night before where a 7-year-old girl was killed. She was an only child. He didn't know the first name, but the last name was Trimble. At my age I didn't pay close attention to much during church. I remember my head shooting up at the sound of that name and looking at my mom. With tears in my eyes I silently begged her to reassure me this couldn't be my friend. There is no way MY friend could be dead.
After church my parents drove to Turkey Hill. My dad went inside for a newspaper. He came out, and handed it to my mom. I don't know if I said anything or just stared. Kristine's second grade school photograph was on the front page of the local section. I couldn't believe it. I refused to believe it. We drove home. I have vague memories of my mom convincing me that she believed Kristine had the choice to stay in a broken body on earth or be whole in heaven. I was mad at her. In my selfishness I wanted her here.
Kristine had died two tenths of a mile from her home, and half a mile from the pool. She was wearing her swimsuit under her dress, she was on her way to the pool, to see me for the midnight swim.
After she died her mom came over to my house. She gave me Kristine's bike. I didn't want it. I didn't want to ride her bike. I wanted Kristine to ride her own bike. Her mom wanted me to have it. I imagine it was too hard to see it and know Kristine wouldn't ride it again. I rode that bike until long after I had outgrown it. Outgrowing it would be moving forward, without Kristine.
This year Anne and Abbey start third grade. They are the age that Kristine and I were, 8 and 7, our last summer together as friends. Thinking of how precious my own daughters are to me, I can't even begin to fathom losing one of them in an accident. If I'm not careful I believe the devil could use this memory to fill my heart with fear and worry.
Anne, age 8, first day of 3rd grade
Looking back, third grade for me was certainly not a normal year. That
year my mom threw a surprise party for me. I didn't understand at the
time why she did it. With a large family we didn't have birthday parties
with friends every year. We had them on "special occasion" years - 5,
10, 13, and 16. But that year I turned 9. I got a surprise party at
Willow Valley's indoor pool, which was a really big deal for our family.
Maybe my mom was thinking her own, "what ifs".
Abbey, age 7, first day of 3rd grade
I don't think about Kristine every day anymore. But I do think of her. I used to visit her grave on a regular basis all through high school. I saw her grandmother there once and she remembered me. I wore a butterfly on my wedding dress for Kristine, for the wedding she would never get to have. And I tell my girls about her. If I could tell Kristine's mom or any mom who has lost a beloved child it would be this : I haven't forgotten her. I think of her. I remember the funny things she did. I wish she were still here. I loved her, too.
Maggie, age 5 (6 next week), first day of pre-1st.
Caroline - 2 1/2 years old - keeping busy this school year!
And now we move forward.
This article is now 8 years old, but it tells more about Kristine and her family along with Kristine's beautiful picture. Lives Forever Changed
We hope all our friends and family have a great 2016-2017 school year. We pray that you all stay safe and make good choices.
Let me start by saying how grateful I am for my friends, family and community. I would probably be a terrible event planner. If my memory serves me correctly, planning this fundraiser was more work than planning my wedding. Granted, we had a very low-key wedding. The point is, it was no small task to undertake the planning of this event which had about twice as many people attend than our wedding.
Thank you for transforming the world for our little girl!
There are so many ways we saw God's hand at work throughout the planning process. I'll try to give you several of them so we can together worship God and thank Him for His goodness. All these seemingly small things helped to build our faith as we work through the adoption process.
My original fundraiser idea was to have ice cream sundaes and music. My dear friend, Heather, has been the PTO vice-president at her children's school for a number of years. While there, she has planned a carnival multiple times and had several ideas. Heather planned five games for the children. She purchased the prizes, the tickets necessary to play the games, and the signs for the games. Her husband BUILT a bean bag toss game and she free-hand painted an ice cream cone on it. Everything related to the games she took care of and donated. She spent her whole evening working the ticket booth so that I didn't have to nor did I need to find someone to do it for me. The games raised about $230 and was SO much fun for the kids that night.
Games Set up
2016 is the Year of the Monkey in China
Lollipop toss
Heather's husband Jared built the ice cream cone bean bag toss!
Keaton enjoying the balance beam
Games in Action
Since Heather had more experience with fundraisers she also suggested that we have about 10 items to raffle off. She had several great suggestions. I was amazed at how those contributions came in and we ended up with 13 items for the raffle. This ended up being quite a bit of work for me, but was very successful. The raffle portion of the fundraiser raised $1,414. The cost associated with this was minimal (I purchased the roll of tickets and the bags to put the tickets in). We are so grateful for all the donated items.
Face painting. I also wasn't planning to do face painting since the lines tend to be long and I didn't know who to get to do it. My friend from church, Lynette, offered to paint faces. She has a friend who is also an adoptive mom who paints faces along with her friend's daughter. Together the three of them painted faces, donated their time and materials. I know the kids loved this. This raised about $100. The only cost to me was a $1 donation bucket.
Lynette in action
Maggie's princess crown
The music. I had so many people tell me how much they enjoyed the music of the night. Bruce Fite, a local children's musician, came and played the first hour. His family came early that night and were a huge help wiping down the tables and chairs after the rain, and putting the tablecloths on. Bruce's wife, Devon, is a friend of mine and I was very grateful for her help. I think everyone should visit his website and purchase his music: http://brucefite.com/
**A not very high quality video, but it's from our event and I can hear my father-in-law shouting Truth. He may or may not be thinking about the upcoming presidential elections. ***
Also, the hay wagon that is being used as a stage was dropped off and picked up by another church member, Martin Harnish. It worked perfectly!
Our church has multiple talented musicians. Two of our church members (Rick Christopher and Teresa Graybill) make up half of a four-piece band. They played a lot of older, classic rock music that was a huge hit. I'm sorry to say I don't have any video of them playing and only got a picture later in the evening as the sun was setting behind them.
Timeless
And one of my all-time favorite people, Marty Sommerfeld, was a true delight to listen to. He has such a great stage presence with his jokes and his music.
My brother-in-law is running sound in the background.
All the musicians donated their time and talent to making a fabulous evening possible. My brother-in-law, Troy, ran the sound for the music. He also helped set up and take down all the tables and chairs.
My mom. I couldn't have done this without my mom. She took our four daughters Friday night so Trent and I could have a restful evening the night before the fundraiser and not have to worry about them Saturday morning. She brought them to the event on Saturday. She even got suckered into helping at one of the games. She missed out on hearing Marty Sommerfeld play which I know she was disappointed about, but she did it for us. My mom is continually sacrificing for our family, and I am grateful. I just realized how high my expectations of my mom are and that I need to be careful and make sure I fully appreciate all she does for us. She also took the girls back to her house Saturday night, got them all bathed and in bed, then up and ready for Sunday School the next morning. We couldn't have done it without her help! And of course I have no pictures of this woman!
My in-laws. Friends, I have just got to brag a minute on my in-laws. I know not everyone has great relationships with their parents-in-law, but I am truly amazed by mine. They are always willing to help. A really cool God-story happened with them. When we were planning how to store the ice cream Trent said it would be nice to have a little chest freezer we could have right outside the church to store it. Just a couple days after he said that his parents were driving home from going out to breakfast and found a chest freezer on the side of the road for $20. It took them multiple trips to the house to find someone home, but the freezer worked and was absolutely perfect for the event. My mother-in-law went on numerous trip to multiple grocery stores finding good deals on toppings and bottled water. She donated all of those things for us, so our cost was very minimal for the toppings. And again, I have no picture of the people who did the most.
THE ICE CREAM! So many people asked the connection on the ice cream. Again, this is a total God-thing! Dawn is a woman I know because she has purchased many signs from me over the years. Every time she picks up her signs we end up talking for an hour in my hallway and I love it! The relationships that I have been able to form through painting has been one of my favorite parts of the job. And Dawn's family is no exception. Dawn's husband works for Turkey Hill, and when we were working on gathering raffle items Dawn mentioned maybe Turkey Hill Experience tickets. Her husband asked if we had ice cream donated yet or not. We didn't. He checked in at work and the next day just asked how many gallons we needed. Our biggest projected expense ended up being 100% free, thanks to Turkey Hill and Dawn and Jeff. Dawn even delivered the ice cream! Could you ask for a better friend?
Me, Dawn and a 3 gallon tub of ice cream!
I feel like this is all out of order and disjointed, but I hope it makes sense to you all. The week of the event the only day with forecasted rain was Saturday. We debated back and forth whether to be outside or in. At 11 am the morning of the event we finally decided that the storms weren't going to develop and we were going to have it outside. At 5 pm, as we had just finished putting out tables and chairs, a storm popped up.
Pouring
We had a downpour for about 10 minutes. I was trying so hard not to cry - and sweet Anna Fite (Bruce's daughter) was so positive and upbeat. I appreciated her so much in that moment. Just before the rain my sister, Stacy, had texted me to see if we needed help setting up. I had said, "No, We're good!". As the rain poured I texted her back and said, "Actually, can you bring ALL your towels once the rain stops?" And she did. As the rain was slowing down I saw my brother-in-law taking a picture. I couldn't believe he was going to take a picture of me stuck in the raffle tent. But as I went to scold him, he said, "Look, there's a rainbow."
All I had to do was turn around. I felt so powerfully that God was showing his love to me in that moment. My sister showed up with towels and together, all of us wiped down tables and chairs, set up table cloths, put out decorations, the musicians set up, the ice cream was brought out, and the event started. Combined with a few donations received just before and after the event, we raised $5,000 to help with our adoption expenses.
It was such a beautiful evening of coming together for the purpose of our little girl. We can't wait for her to join us in that family picture.
