Behind the Name + Adoption Update

Those of you who know us well may remember that all of our daughters have family names. I was given my great-grandmother's first name as my middle name and even as a very young girl loved the connection to someone in my family.

As we started having children we have kept this alive as a vital part of naming our children, and sister six is no different.

We chose her name, Heidi Grace, with tremendous care and some friendly debating.

Trent's first Hess ancestors who came from Switzerland were Hans and Magdalena (yes, this is where our Magdalena/Maggie got her name). Hans's mother was called Adelheid. Some of you may know the beloved book “Heidi” by Johanna Spiry. Heidi's Christian name in the book was Adelheid. Fun fact, it wasn't until after this book was published that the name Heidi began to be used instead of Adelheid.

It was my desire that she be named Adelheid and we call her Heidi as a nickname, just as all our other daughters have a formal name and a nickname.

This is the part where much discussion and debating came into play. Trent felt that Adelheid sounded too Swiss for a Chinese daughter. I argued that Ruth is about as un-Chinese of a name that there ever was. We both absolutely love the name Heidi, though, and we could agree upon that. And let's be honest, Trent deserves some significant say when he's going to be surrounded by girls forever.

As a compromise, all of her documents will say Heidi, but I reserved the right to call her Adelheid (especially when she's naughty, which of course will be rare). Much in the same way that our other daughters have nicknames, but in reverse. 

Can't wait to fill this frame with Heidi photos!

Grace is a name that we have both always loved but many of our friends and relations have already used it as first name. We felt that Grace sounded good with Heidi, we have relatives on both sides of the family tree with the name.

However, most important to me was the biblical connection. The Holman Bible Dictionary defines grace as “undeserved acceptance and love received from another, especially the characteristic attitude in God providing salvation for sinners.” We hope, more than anything, that our Heidi Grace will one day know and accept the grace that God offers. In her short life she has gone through so much that few of us in America can fathom our children going through. We hope that we are able to shine the light of Jesus into her life and that she will know that God created her, Heidi Grace, with a plan and a purpose in mind. That the suffering she has gone through is not in vain, because God has always had her in the palm of his hand.

Now on to our adoption update.

I think most of you know that I'm an optimistic person. I live my life in a way that I always believe that the best is not only possible but that it's going to happen.

Unfortunately, this situation with immigration has knocked me down. I understand the need to make sure that every family is appropriate and prepared to take a child with special needs. It hurts my heart that we are being held up while we claim that our young children do not have a criminal history.

There are a couple of things that are very difficult for me right now. One is the timing. I know in my head that God is in control. I have seen the evidence of his work over and over in my life. I know that He is good. I know that He loves me. I have faith that He is working all things out the way that they should be. And yet. I'm like that father in the Scripture who wants to believe that Jesus can heal his son but in the same moment doesn't believe.

“Lord, I believe! Help me overcome my unbelief!”

I had worked out in my mind that we would travel mid-August. It meant missing one of our children's birthdays but she was okay with that, knowing it was for the greater good of Heidi. The challenge is that we now have these two lambs that our oldest girls are supposed to show in the Solanco Fair mid-September. We feel that we couldn't put that responsibility of transferring lambs and encouraging the children in something they've never done before, on someone else. But we also are torn because if we wait until after the fair to travel that is so much extra time that our daughter waits for us in an orphanage.

When our travel to Ruth got pushed back we didn't feel as bad about it because we knew that she was with an amazing, loving family. We knew she was being fed, loved, and cared for. We had regular communication with her foster family and with Ruth. We get none of that this time around. It breaks my heart that my daughter is in an orphanage. It hurts me that she may not be receiving the love, care, attention, and nutrition that she desperately needs.

We have no idea how long it will take the immigration department to approve us. Today they should have received the evidence they asked of us but I don't have any timeline of when to expect approval.

So my friends, I would ask that you pray for us. There are many things I would like to see happen, but I think what I need most is for you to pray that I can trust more fully in God.

I'm so thankful for these verses from Psalm 121:3-4

“He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.”

I'm so grateful to serve a God who never sleeps, who always hears us when we call.

Abbey is Ten!

In April, Abbey turned ten! I now have two kids in double-digits!

It's always hard to believe that your once little baby is getting so big, so full of life and personality. She's making her own decisions and sticking with them. Well, that's nothing new. Even as a little girl she could be quite stubborn. Abbey is such a fun girl to be around. She may come off as shy before you get to know her, then she'll knock you down in surprise at her (sometimes dark) humor.

Typical Abbey humor

Abbey doesn't usually want people to know it, but she's actually very tender-hearted. She may not cry during Little House on the Prairie like her mom does, but it's not uncommon to see her helping Caroline or Ruth with whatever they need. She is usually quite resistant to change but was the most eager for us to adopt a second time. She has the amazing ability to get along well with all of her siblings. It is rare to see her lose her temper at any of her siblings. It's not uncommon to see her get frustrated with herself. Abbey holds herself to extremely high standards and wrestles with being a perfectionist. We are continuing to work through this with her with gentleness and care, reminding her that none of us are perfect and all we ask is that she does her best.

Close in age sisters are so fun! 16 months apart!

Since turning ten is extra-special, we planned a little birthday party for Abbey. She isn't the kind of girl who likes to be around a lot of people or even have tons of friends. She has a couple of dear friends that she wanted to have over (after initially saying she didn't want any people to come over). We had a lovely day during which I only took one photo. Oops.

She had a Lego Friends themed party, complete with a “lego” pinata, a game where the winners took home Legos, and a Lego cake. It was all rather simple but fun and perfectly suited to Abbey. She had fun but was ready for the party to end when it did. She spent her afternoon reading quietly to herself.

For her birthday celebration with Trent she went to Outback to eat. We have started a tradition of eating there when we go to the beach, so for a special tenth birthday treat, that's where she went. She loves the bread and butter they give, but mostly she wanted the Thunder From Down Under dessert. She has the biggest sweet tooth.

Two hands!

Afterward she went to Longwood Gardens. She had a great day. Abbey liked when there was a boy with a stick near a pond who wanted to poke at a dead fish. She related to me that when the boy asked if he should try to get the fish daddy wanted to tell him “yes” but didn't know where the boy's mom was at so decided against it.

Our kids end up with a week or more worth of celebrations. She also celebrated at Grandpa and Grandma Hess's and then later spent a weekend at Mema's house where she sewed a cute stuffed puppy.

Abbey loves animals. While she says she doesn't like it, I think she's genuinely enjoying having a lamb to care for as her 4-H project. More than anything, I think she's nervous to show her sheep at the fair in front of people. She really doesn't like to be the center of attention or on stage or anything. She can, and does, overcome her fear with such outward ease that you never know until you talk to her later that she was feeling sick to her stomach. We are hoping she will out grow this fear with practice.

It's a real joy to have Abigail Frances as my daughter. It's surprising that she was so challenging to parent when she was small because she brings so much joy and laughter to our home now. I'm amazed at her tenacity and dedication to see a task completed. She will put off having an ice pop until her chores are complete. She has committed to reading the entire Bible in a year and has stuck to it.

Abbey, happy tenth birthday. We love you, sweetheart!