Half a Year with Mary Jubilee

Half a year! It’s been a hard six months. I have been humbled and challenged and felt as though I was knocked on my butt and been scrambling to get back up and continue the race of life since she was born. 

Mary & her little lamb 

None of this is a reflection of who Mary Jubilee is. She is a fighter. She was in and out of the NICU faster than any of her siblings. She was faced with the challenge of a mama who wasn’t at her best. Mary learned to bottle feed, she tried valiantly to breastfeed, exhausting herself with hour long feeds. She worked harder and longer to achieve what comes relatively easily for many babies. While we rarely breastfeed now, we have developed a precious bond which I feared we wouldn’t achieve without it. 

Miss Mary is truly lovely. She gives the best, big smiles. She squeals and laughs and has developed a sweet personality. She has become laid back, which she really wasn’t as a wee newborn. But she has gone to countless medical appointments, hospital for Ruth’s transfusions, ballet classes, art classes, school pickup and drop off, chiropractor appointments, therapies for Heidi, and so much more without batting an eye. She naps in her bouncy seat in front of the fire when we’re home, or in her car seat when we’re on the go. Mary sleeps in her crib all night, usually 12 hours. She’s still in our room so we do give her the pacifier sometimes in the night if she fusses, but in general she does fantastic. 

I noticed this change when she started eating solid foods. It’s interesting that she took so well to eating solids since drinking has been the biggest difficulty for her. She is a very good eater and we’ve found Plum Organics baby foods to be healthy and nutritious. She’s gaining weight better than ever and getting stronger. As I am finally finishing this post she’s nearer to 7 months but she’s sitting up well and for longer stretches of time. She is rolling over both ways. She is scooting around on her belly, trying so hard to get what is just out of reach. I can tell she’s going to put everything into her mouth like Hans did so the girls are in for another time of lots of cleaning up the floors. 

Hanging with one of her favorite sisters 

She is just a real sweetie. She’s sleeping in my arms as I type this. I finally feel like we’re on our way to thriving, not just surviving. 

I have heard it said that if you’re not sure if you should have another baby that you’ll never regret having one more, but you very likely will regret that you didn’t. 

I feel this about Miss Mary. Many would have expected us to stop after we finally had a boy. But for us, it has never been about the gender of our children, and always about the gift that each child is. I know I would have regretted stopping after Hans. I feel so content with our family. While my days are jam packed, I acknowledge the blessings in each day and I am exceedingly grateful that I’m alive to have hard days. 

I love you, Mary!

Heidi is 6!

In September Heidi celebrated her 4 year adoption anniversary and in November she turned six! 

Heidi is still a puzzle to us. She is still mostly nonverbal. She can say a few words but rarely says them unprompted. She knows some sign language. We recently (after her birthday) decided to try AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) in the form of a tablet/iPad. There’s a huge learning curve but we’ve found some success with it. We mostly use it to teach Heidi how to request something she wants (which song) and she’s doing surprisingly well recognizing the icon and that it represents a thing that she wants. I would be delighted if it could eventually help her to express her feelings and even  just general commenting on what’s going on or what she likes. 

Her comprehension of language is quite strong. She knows what we’re saying and talking about. She can follow directions. Today I asked her to get Mary’s bottle off the stool in the living room and bring it to me so I could wash it. And she did! She may have first tried to toss it on the counter but with a second prompt she got it to me. 

I’ve been working on several preschool skills with her over the last several months. She knows all her colors and will sign them or give a verbal attempt at the word. She recognizes the letters in her name and can sometimes put them in the correct order. She knows animal names and sounds. I have started working on teacher the alphabet to her and Hans. Hans is certainly much more enthusiastic about it than Heidi but I know she’s capable of learning and I want to encourage her to new heights. 

However, she is still very much a challenge. She has behaviors that are difficult to control. Currently she cannot seem to help herself with touching things she knows she’s not supposed to. She stands on the couch and knocks around the pictures hanging on the wall. When I say her name she looks at me, shakes her head and says “no, no. No.” But continues the behavior. She also has been throwing everything, knocking all the stools over, and dipping her hair in her food but only if it’s soup or liquidy. It gets exhausting. 

She has joined a creative movement class at Doris Ann’s Dance Studio. I’m incredibly grateful that they’re open to accepting children of all abilities. Carrie is her personal helper during the class. She guides Heidi, keeps her on task, and provides additional verbal assistance and reminders to Heidi. She does a beautiful job of allowing Heidi space to dance and explore, but also maintaining order. I’m amazed at the growth I’ve seen in Heidi. She began the year with just standing in one place during the worship free-dance to now waving her worship sashes and dancing around the room. It certainly wouldn’t be possible without Carrie’s assistance. 

In the fall Heidi will have to start Kindergarten. I’ve been in prayer about what this may look like for her and our family. I currently plan to homeschool her but I often doubt my capacity to do it well in the midst of teaching everyone else. But I also can’t imagine what sending her to school would look like for her. 

Heidi was sick at Christmas with pneumonia. She was quite ill and became extremely attached to Trent. He was her main caretaker during that time as I was caring for Ruth and Mary who also had pneumonia and still trying to make Christmas magical for the rest of the kids. Heidi loves for Trent to pick her up and toss her in the air and catch her. She gives him unsolicited hugs and searches him out during the day. 

As exhausting as it can be to care for her, we love her deeply for who she is. I believe she is capable of so many things. I just pray I can be the best mom possible to help her reach her full potential. 

Happy belated birthday, Heidi Grace. I love you!

Mary is Four Months

Little Miss Mary Jubilee is four months old!

She is finally growing and getting sweet round cheeks and a double chin. She is smiling, cooing, and has a bright twinkle in her eye.

I promise you, today she laughed. 

She is a very particular baby and loves mom best of all. I won’t complain about it though because someday I won’t be her favorite and I’ll hold on to and treasure the time that I was. 

(She liked the snow and fell asleep in the carrier)

Mary does actually often calm down for Ruth. And she smiles a lot at Carrie and Maggie. And she watches Heidi and Hans (Heaven help us!). Anne and Abbey offer their attentions when they get home from school, but mostly it’s mom and Mary. 

Ruth LOVES carrying Mary around. It makes me a *tiny* bit nervous but she’s always very careful and I can tell she’s so proud to be big enough to hold her. 

She had her first Christmas and wore the Christmas dress I bought for Anne in 2007; hard to believe that dress has hung around for 16 years and is being worn again. It’ll be difficult to begin parting with some of those treasured items. 

It’s never dull over here, though sometimes I feel I could use a boring month or two. 

Mary (and Heidi and Ruth) had pneumonia over Christmas and needed a round of antibiotics. Mary’s only symptom was an occasional cough that sounded horrible. 

I have been waking her at 3 am to feed her since she was about 7.5 weeks. She had slept through the night at that young age but since she was so small and barely gaining weight it was recommended to wake her in the night until we felt she could make up that missed feeding throughout the day. Last week she didn’t go back to sleep after the 3 am feeding two nights in a row and that was no fun for me. I decided to give it a try and let her sleep the whole night. I have a tremendous fear of not having enough milk for her so  I still get up and pump at 3 am and store it for her to drink later. I pump about 6 times per day and that gives her enough to drink fresh all day and sometimes a little extra to have in the fridge. I haven’t been able to store any in the freezer for a long time. She did surprise me the other day when I was nursing her and let go of the nipple shield and latched and ate perfectly for 2 feeds. I was so excited I thought maybe we would be good from now on. Sadly that wasn’t the case the next day and she didn’t latch well at all. But I’m celebrating any little wins we get along the way and recognizing the gift that bottling is during this intense season of mothering. 

Since I didn’t get a chance to blog her at 3 months, those are some of my favorite pictures from month 3. 

Love you Miss Mary! I am excited to watch your personality blossom. 

Oh, and she is getting stronger and loves to sit up in her high chair and see what’s happening at the table