Saturday, July 4, 2026

Heidi will Speak

 

It’s not uncommon, I believe, for most of us to give the world our highlight reels. There’s not necessarily anything wrong with that, I do it quite a bit. I tend to have a Pollyanna personality and try to find something to be glad about in the midst of life’s challenges. 

Because of this highlight sharing, those who are not in our inner circle of friends and family will not comprehend the significance of what is so monumental in my life that it warrants a blog post.


The second to last week of school, Heidi put two words together all on her own. Those beautiful, precious words, “Be Kind.” You see, she’s not always very kind to her peers and the staff at school. And I’ve been singing to her a Be Kind song I learned at Vacation Bible School when I was probably eight, Heidi’s age right now. 

 

“Be Kind”


Most of us hear our babies put two words together soon after a year old. But not Heidi. Her very first speech therapist told me she believes Heidi will speak one day. It was easy to believe when she was just two years old, still learning English. But two quickly slipped to three, four, five, six, seven years with very little speech progress. 


Just before she started school two years ago we trialed an AAC (Alternative Communication Device). It’s a tablet with a talking app on it where you can program buttons (not too different from emojis) with words and pictures. With it she learned to request things like her favorite songs, a food item, or name her family members.


This past year she has been wanting to only communicate verbally at home. With one syllable of a word or piece of a word. For example: one breakfast she kept saying “pea” over and over. I knew she was requesting something but I didn’t know what it was. I gave her the Talker and she pressed peanut butter. She wanted peanut butter in her oatmeal. 


Since then, the verbal communication seemed to pick up. And once she broke the two word barrier, more two word phrases kept coming. Big pool, safe mom (she does this with her safe hands motion they use at school- usually to tell me she’s either tempted or just did something she shouldn’t), be kind, stay home, pawpaw house. Then a confusing one I couldn’t figure out “daddy outside”. She kept pointing outside and saying that. But Trent wasn’t home so I knew I wasn’t understanding. Handed her the Talker, instantly she hit “Sunny”. She was commenting on the weather! I couldn’t believe it!


Then, just this week she said 3 words together, “Have Safe Mom”. Since school let out she has been extra sweet and precious to me. I like to believe that she was telling me that because she is safe with mom she can speak. You see, that’s the thing. There is no physical reason why she cannot speak. But speech is a higher brain function. And it could make sense that after almost seven years of adoption she has developed security and attachment and stability to overcome some of the fight or flight mentality that she was trapped in, especially during her early years with us. 


Tonight in her bath while she dipped her head in the water and watched the sheet of water pour down, as clear as day she said “black hair”. Then in her room she was looking at the yearbook her teacher made for her and she found the page where she’s at the north museum. She attempted to say dinosaur and then roared and she laughed and laughed. Then she said Happy Heidi. 

 

Happy Heidi at the North Museum


And I’ve not been so delighted over the simplicity of two words in a long long time. Because, while I may have not thought much about her lack of speech anymore, something happened 4 years ago. The year Hans was born I read through the New Testament 6 times. I read the miracles of Jesus over and over again and questioned whether I really believed them. When I reaffirmed that I believe, I felt compelled to pray for the miracle of Heidi to speak and sing in worship to him. And at the time I was confused. I had come to terms with Heidi not speaking. And if I was going to pray for a miracle I would have chosen for her to be intellectually capable. But that’s not what the Lord was asking of me. 

 

She’s loving that Peach is shedding


While three words together is still small, it’s rapid progress in 4 weeks. She’s not yet singing praises, but she will. When I first prayed about this, I thought the miracle would be instant. I had a couple people I knew to be filled with the spirit to pray over her, but without the instant speech I hoped for. But maybe that’s not the way God is choosing to unveil this miracle. Maybe, just maybe, we’re getting a front row seat to a beautiful unveiling of a God’s perfect timing miracle. 


Please don’t misunderstand me, I know the many therapists and teachers who have worked with Heidi play a large part in this as well. However, if the Lord wanted her to remain silent, she would. She has much to say, and I’m excited to hear her comments. If you’ve seen her side eye you know she’s got something out of pocket she wants to tell the world and follow it up with her contagious laugh. 

 

Thursday, January 1, 2026

2025, A Year of Memories

 My word for the year 2025 was memories. I knew there were significant life events on the horizon and had hoped to do all I could to make the year memorable. 

I believe it was a success. In the midst of all the memory making there was a lot of hard work. 

I drove Ruth to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia 17 times. She went to the Lancaster Cleft Palate Clinic 10 times. Medical and dental appointments for everyone else were a total of 70 appointments that I had written down. That doesn't include any trips to Patient First of which there were a few.  

 In January I turned 40 and Trent surprised me with our best friends showing up from Virginia!


In February we celebrated 100 days of School! It was my 12th year homeschooling!

Also in February some very sweet friends who also have children adopted from China stayed with us for a weekend visit. And Make-a-Wish sent Ruth and our whole family tickets to see Disney on Ice!


 

In March, our niece, Emma, got engaged and we broke ground on a much anticipated addition.

 


 
In April, Ruth turned 10 and had a birthday party with friends. She had one of many transfusions and ate a restaurant called GuGu (which was her Chinese name!) and started playing soccer.  
 





Abbey turned 16, bought an iconic car that I wished belonged to me, and had a party with friends. 
Anne went to Kenya for 10 days in April.

 
Our addition quickly took shape that month.

In May Anne went to formal with her friend, Adam. 
 
 



I got to enjoy the first bath in our new tub in the addition that month. 
 

Our nephew, Hunter, got married. 
 

Anne graduated high school! 
 
*Hans and Don looking like the spitting image of each other*
Beautiful Anne!

June was epic! Caroline had her ballet performance. I took Anne "home" to Green Gables. The kids had a whole hosts of "firsts" during Ruth's Make-a-Wish trip. For many it was their first plane ride, for all of them it was their first time in Florida, first time snorkeling, first time on a boat, first dolphin experience, first Escape Room, and so so much more. 


Our beautiful dancer.
 


 Prince Edward Island with Anne for her graduation trip was wonderful!
 





 July we tried to slow our roll. But we still had Anne's graduation party with so many friends. We were tickled that Trent's brother and sis-in-law drove in from NJ for it. Anne, Abbey and Maggie drove by themselves up to Tioga County to stay for a weekend at the cabin. Trent has rarely been more proud. We camped at Muddy Run with the Parmarters. And we moved into our addition!!
 


 Grad party for Anne!!
 
All done!!
Can't forget our annual Muddy Run Camping trip with the Parmarters.


Heading to the cabin.
 
 In August we saw Sarah and Jessee again! We drove to NJ for a pool party with Todd & Sarah. Maggie started high school and played soccer. Heidi started first grade with a new confidence gained from her previous year's experience. Mary got cuter.
 






 September was full of soccer runs. Heidi got her first pair of glasses, a little orange cat that Hans named Bob Cat found us, Ruth, Trent and I spoke to about 200 people at a golf event benefiting Make-A-Wish, and Mary continues to be super cute.




 October was even more soccer, Ruth learning to sew, our niece Emma got married, Hans discovered a love for Calvin and Hobbes and Mary got cuter.
 
 








 November, after a season of losses, Ruth's team won the tournament! Anne turned 18 and took on a third job. She got hired as a long term substitute art teacher in addition to dolce vita and Giant. Heidi turned 8, I went to see Dwight Yoakam with my mom, Martin and Audrey (Stacy just had surgery so couldn't be there), Abbey got her license, I rediscovered my love of convertibles during Trent and my anniversary trip to Florida, had the best time with the love of my life for that long weekend, and enjoyed Thanksgiving with the Hesses.   
 








 
 In December Hans turned 4, Caroline turned 12, and Trent and I officially celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. Ruth was Mary and Carrie was the narrator with significant lines to memorize in the Christmas play. We got matching Christmas PJs for the first time in 8 years, had a magical tree that lost every single needle, and played in the snow. We had a Hess Christmas and a Parmarter Christmas.
 













Wow! What a year! When I'm struggling with the weight of raising a large family, homeschooling, and managing the medical needs especially of Ruth, it's easy to lose sight of it all. This recap of 2025 has been such a beautiful reminder to me that, although it feels like the medical needs have overshadowed it all, we have lived so much life this year. All glory to God!