Bathed in Love

I promise I will have a 2-year-old post on Maggie coming soon. I'm hoping to get her pictures done next week, and then I will write a post dedicated to her.

We are continuing in this ministry of foster care. The longer the children stay, the more revelations come to light. As difficult as some days can be for the girl, I am reminding myself to be thankful that I can speak into her life, if just for a short period of time.

Long before our children were born, we prayed for them. We prayed for their salvation, for their physical bodies, for their future spouses just to name a few things. We loved them. From the moment our children were born, everywhere they turned, they were bathed in love.

Their Mama and Daddy love them; their aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and great-grandparents love them. People at church love them; old women in the grocery store love them. And most importantly, they have always heard that Jesus loves them The love was unconditional. Sure, they disobeyed and had to be disciplined, but they always knew that they were loved.

Can you imagine living your first (almost) 4 years without that kind of love? Of course you would be skeptical of a new person in your life. Of course you would treat them with disrespect. If all you have ever heard are sarcastic words, and rude behavior, what would you be like?

Children are excellent parrots. I remember the first time I heard Anne repeat something I had said to her out of frustration. It didn't sound very nice coming out of a 2-year-old's mouth, but I'm sure she repeated what I said with surprising accuracy.

I am seeing some fruit of the love and dedication I have poured into our girls - especially Annie and Abbey. When the girl is rude, they are not rude back. When she uses harsh words, they do not counter with more harsh words. Yes, I'm sure they are what most of you would consider sheltered. I have been very proud of the way they are persevering, being kind and good and having self-control. Unfortunately Maggie is having a rough time with the girl. Maggie is smaller and the girl knows just which buttons to push. In the girl's defense, Maggie has quickly learned what to say to upset the girl.

But, we are working hard to show her the love of Christ. An unconditional love that is completely foreign to her. I am thankful for the patience that the Holy Spirit has filled me with this past week. It should probably become my daily prayer as I rise each morning.

Lord, grant me patience, help me to show grace and experience grace. Fill me with your Holy Spirit as I minister to these five beautiful children. Thank you, Lord, for your forgiveness. Amen.

Life Lessons this Week

I'm not sure that there has ever been a week more crazy in our home.

Many of you know by now that we became the proud parents of 5 this week. We now have a 4 year old, two 3 year olds, a 2 year old (happy birthday Maggie!) and a 9 month old.

Late afternoon on Monday we received a call asking us to take a 3 year old girl and her 9 month old brother. (***For the children's protection we cannot give their names or show their pictures on any public site - as in this blog or facebook. I will refer to them as "the girl" and "the baby"***) We said "Yes!"

I'll try to give a brief rundown of what this week looked like for us.

The children came around 5:15 p.m. and nobody had eaten dinner. Trent had to work on our city house so he would be home late. Our 3-year-old foster daughter screamed/tried to escape in the proceeding 2 hours until Trent got home. She finally calmed down when he got home as he seemed to have a calming effect on her. The baby came to us with a terrible cough and gross boogery nose. The baby went right to sleep at slept all night. The girl cried for a long time and kept needing me to come to her room for various things. She wanted noodles at 10 pm, she wanted her apple juice in bed, she wanted me to sleep in her bed with her, she wanted to watch Dora at 4 am. She was awake every couple of hours and then solidly from 4-6 am, and then she finally went back to sleep and slept until around 7:30 or 8.

Day #2 I loaded all 5 kids in the van and drove 45 minutes to the baby's doctor appointment that I scheduled that morning. He has bronchitis. Drove through McDonald's for lunch. Somehow managed to get all 5 kids asleep at the same time and I took a nap for an hour. We went to Trent's parents for a Trent/Maggie birthday celebration. Long, tiring day.

Day #3 the girl was a little aggressive toward Magdalena this day. She hit her a few times and also pulled her hair. The baby was VERY fussy. Trent had a pastoral search committee meeting and so I put the kids to bed myself.

Day #4 we had a great day!! We didn't have to leave the house and were starting to get into a routine. My sister stopped by the house and got to meet the baby. The girl was already taking her nap.

Day #5 (today!) we had another great day. We are working on the eating/schedule thing with the girl. She asks for snacks all day long and for food at weird times. The one night she woke up around 1 am and asked Trent for a hot dog. She has asked me for a bowl of cereal in the middle of the day and I am trying to wrap my head around their waking/sleeping schedule. At this point they both seem to sleep very well through the night. They all napped at the same time today and I was even able to do a little painting. I had started a project of re-doing an end table and 2 night stands before they came. We'll see how long it takes me to finish them. =) We went to a picnic with Trent's co-workers. The kids all did great and we had a fun time.

We learned today that the children will be with us for awhile, at least mid-October.

Two of the lessons I have learned this week are:

1. To be humble! My wonderful mother-in-law came over to watch our 3 girls while I took the girl and the baby to Kmart for clothes. I could not have done it without her. Oh, that was on day #3. Did I say I could not have done this without her? I am very very grateful for her help!

2. God's strength is made perfect in my weakness. It's something I have heard before but I'm not sure I have ever really experienced. I know that especially that 2nd morning by myself I could not did not do it on my own strength. He also perfectly orchestrated the children to sleep at the same time because I desperately needed sleep.

We have another very busy week coming up next week, I'm not sure that we have a free day on the calendar. We will also experience our first visit with the children's mother. They are scheduled to have weekly visits. I have no idea what that will do to the girl, but I imagine it is going to be very very difficult.

I do believe that God has these children with us for a reason, and I am hoping that I can shine Christ's light into their darkened lives. The children have never been to church. I always sing "Jesus Loves Me" to my kids before they go to bed, and I did the same for the girl and the baby. The girl often asks me to sing that song, and will sing it along with me now. She also memorized our Bible verse for the week.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; I will say it again, Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4.

A day like Today

This morning as I got out of bed Trent gave me that dreaded warning about our 3-year-old's behavior. "She's in rare form this morning."

After he left for work all three children were playing nicely together and I got to have a few minutes by myself. As I sipped my first cup of coffee I prayed for the children, for our busy day ahead, and for grace. It's really a common theme in this house. I have received much (from God, my husband and the children), and this morning I really felt the need to pray for grace: that I can show it to the children and that I can receive it as well.

Breakfast went smoothly as the children downed their zucchini muffins (2 for Anne, 1 1/2 for Abbey and 3 for Magdalena). Can you tell who is going to grow?

As we went upstairs to prepare for the day, Abbey asked if they could play in the "foster care room". I don't typically allow them in that room because it makes more of a mess for me to clean up. Also, they have developed a bad habit of pushing the toddler bed close to the crib; then climbing into the crib and jumping off the crib rail onto the toddler bed. Not really the safest game in the world, and they are frequently told not to do this. Anyway, I succumbed to the whining 3-year-old (by the way-- what are terrible twos compared to threes?). I quickly checked my email and facebook when I heard thumping coming from the other room. I go over to find Abbey jumping onto the toddler bed and one of the wooden slats under the bed broken in half.

I was not happy. But "not happy" really is too gentle to describe how I felt and my ensuing actions. If I can be honest with you, I was angry; very very angry.

I scolded severely. Okay, I'll admit it, I yelled. I sent them to their room and I yelled some more. I attempted to shame them by telling them our foster child will not have a bed to sleep in and how would that make them feel.

Then... Abbey pointed her finger at me and "pcew" shot me with her finger gun. I was so angry!! How dare she do that while I'm punishing her?? Then Maggie followed her lead and did the same thing. I yelled some more.

A voice of an angel chimed in and said, "Mommy. Mama. I know you're upset and you're very angry, but you need to have some self-control. Just take a deep breath and have some self-control. I know it's hard, but just relax."

Could these words really have just come from my almost 5-year-old who also struggles with self-control?

They were, of course, the words I needed to hear. I stopped, I took a deep breath. But I wasn't ready to ask their forgiveness. However, my 3-year-old was quick to repent and ask me to forgive her for disobeying and for breaking the bed. I said I forgave her and I put a video on for the children to watch so I could take a quick shower.

I prayed and prayed and prayed in the shower. My morning prayer came back to me.  Over and over I heard the word repeated, grace, grace, grace, grace. It's easy to pray for it, it's much harder to act on it.

My soul calmed, I regained my composure, our day moved on.

A stop at Cherry Hill for peaches, a stop to deliver a meal, another stop to deliver another meal. The children were patient. They love car rides.

Home again for lunch. As I was preparing food for the children I thought over our morning. I knew I needed to ask for their forgiveness. I came to the table and humbled myself before my children. Will they please forgive me for not having self-control this morning and for yelling at them? They forgave me. Abbey again apologized for breaking the bed. I forgave her.

Anne reminded me of how difficult it is to be good and obey all the time. She said when we go to heaven we'll always obey and be good.  And won't that be nice because it is so hard to have self-control.

You see, this Anne-girl is a part of me. She has part of my sin-nature. The desire to obey God, yet it is just so difficult at times. We lose self-control.

I think back to the years before I became a Christian and at all the times I was angry and had no self-control. It was a common theme in  my life. And yet, "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)




If that's not a picture of grace, I don't know what is.


Have you extended grace to someone today?