It's hard to believe we have been home with Ruth for two weeks. For my own memory's sake I'm going to try to give an overview of our first two weeks as a family of seven.
We arrived home from the airport around 1 am, Saturday May 27, 2017.
We found that Ruth loves our dog, Petey.
She thinks he is so funny.
We definitely have Ruth's foster family to thank for this. She was previously not fond of dogs, but they knew we had one so made an effort to get her comfortable with dogs.
That first night of sleep was not good. We got home in the middle of the night and everything was new. She had zero interest in sleeping in the crib in her bedroom so we tucked her into bed between Trent and I. She pretty much screamed in our ears for 30 minutes. Trent and I were so exhausted that we fell asleep anyway.
We woke up Saturday morning around 5:30 am. The big sisters hadn't seen us yet and were all eager to meet their new sister.
They were all pretty happy, even for 6 am.
The four older girls have been amazing through the entire adoption process. They were understanding on days I closed myself in the office and did paperwork. They showered me with grace when I was exhausted after staying up until 2 am to paint signs to help pay for the adoption. They jumped for joy when we were matched and thrilled with me with every photo and video we received from Ruth's foster family. They have been invested in Ruth's joining our family in a way completely unique to giving birth.
She really enjoys pushing the doll stroller.
She was definitely worth the wait.
She loves all the sisters but attached herself to Maggie more than anyone else.
I think it's safe to say she loves country living.
Caroline was very happy to have us home and show us all her tricks.
So very happy to have all five of my girls in the same country.
Aren't they darling?
My mom came over that day to meet Ruth and to take Zoey home. Zoey did such a great job with the girls. It was really the best thing for the girls to be able to live in their own home while we were out of the country.
Saturday night was also not great. Ruth was up five times in the night. I was able to rock her and get her back to sleep each time but she didn't stay asleep long.
She snuggled up with the girls to watch a movie for a little bit. Trent's parents came in the afternoon Sunday to meet Ruth. Unfortunately she had just woken up from a nap and she cried the entire time they were here. It was the first time we couldn't get her laughing during a fit.
This photo was five minutes after they left. I think it was just a little too much for her to wake from a nap to more unfamiliar people.
Caroline enjoys making Ruth laugh.
Coloring with markers is a favorite activity but we have to watch her closely or she ends up with marker all over her body.
Sunday night she slept well. She was up twice in the night. When I went to check on her she had unzipped her Jammies and taken off her diaper.
Monday was Memorial Day so Trent was home from work. That was nice to help everyone through the jet lag and find our routine.
Big laughs with Maggie.
Grumpy after being woken from her nap. We didn't want her to sleep too long because we wanted her to get into our routine and sleep all night. She definitely does not like to be woken up.
Piggy back rides with Anne made her cheer up!
Tuesday, May 30 was my first day home with all five girls by myself. The day went quite well.
Caroline was less than thrilled with Ruth touching her puzzle. Caroline said, "Sometimes Ruth is annoying." It was a bit of a wake up for Caroline to realize that Ruth isn't baby, she's a toddler. And toddlers get into things that you don't always want them to.
It was rainy that day so the girls did sidewalk chalk in the garage. Nap time that day was not so good. She cried a lot. I went in to her every ten minutes and rocked her and reassured her that I'm right here. I'm going to come back. I'll be here when she wakes up. It's hard to know if she does that because of jet lag, or grief, or just because she's two.
Tuesday night she slept well and was up around 6:15. In time for daddy to still be home before he left for work. She brought him a book to read. (The PJs are on backward since as soon as I left the room she unzips them and removes her diaper.)
Still learning to share with Caroline. They love to sit and eat Cheerios while we wait for all the girls to wake up and we all eat breakfast together at the table.
She loves to mimic everything the big girls do. This is great when they have good behavior but not so great when they do not. Ruth is slowly getting used to praying before meals.
Wednesday, May 28 was nice and sunny. Ruth enjoyed being outside. Normally we go to Trent's parents' house for dinner Wednesday nights but we felt like we needed to keep her home for another night.
Swinging is fun!
Big sisters teaching her how to eat honeysuckle. She was pretty unsure about it but did not want to be left out.
Nights are getting better for Ruth about this time. Nap times are still rough but Wednesday night sleep was good.
Thursday, May 29 was another good day. This is Ruth telling me to get off the stairs and she doesn't need my help. Obviously she didn't say that with words but she makes herself very clear with her screeches and hand motions.
She's giving Maggie kisses through the railing.
Ruth and Caroline enjoyed the baby pool.
Outdoor play is Ruthie's favorite.
She needed goggles on because (of course) big sisters had goggles.
Lounging in her chair because (of course) big sisters were doing it!
This is her crying and yelling at me because I didn't know what she wanted. I asked her to show me what she wanted. She grabbed my hand and led me through the yard to the tire swing.
And then she was happy.
Until it was Caroline's turn. Then she cried until she got on again.
Ruthie found Maggie and tried to persuade this big sister to put her on the tire swing.
Like most toddlers, lots of fits often means they are tired. A good sleep goes a long way in improving attitudes.
Friday morning she got Annie to read to her. She loves flap books.
Ruthie met her "baby" cousin, Matteo. He is a year younger than her but a good two inches taller and 6-7 pounds heavier.
It was interesting seeing them together. In many ways Ruth seemed very much like a 1-year-old instead of the two years that she is. Except that she was really bossy and acted like she owned everything in the house. It was nice to have an adult (my sister, Audrey) to talk to after keeping to the house all week.
Eating sour cream off the spoon. My favorite snack is tortilla chips dipped in sour cream so it did my heart good to watch her enjoy this food!
She's saying, "aaahhh".
Anne had a softball game that evening that we decided to take her to. She loved all the "team sisters". Lots of the girls on Anne's team have younger siblings and they love game nights where they get to play together.
These families have followed our journey for months and were so excited to finally meet Ruthie. She did really well with the big group.
Anne at bat! Everyone slept really well Friday night.
Saturday we went to the Cinder Road Greenhouse to pick up some tomato plants. We are late getting them in but would be sad to not have any tomatoes at all.
Maggie pulled Ruthie around and around the house in the wagon, stopping to pick lots of flowers along the way.
Caroline and Ruth are the two struggling the most with the transition. Both can get a little jealous of each other. Ruth tends to hit Caroline when Carrie does something Ruth doesn't like (like sit on my lap or climb on the stool Ruth likes or picks up a marker Ruth had been using 15 minutes ago). But really, these are very "normal" typical behaviors for when a new child joins the family.
I was mowing Saturday evening at it was such a joy to watch from afar, my five daughters, my husband, and the neighbors all together enjoying life. I felt so grateful to God in that moment.
Ruthie loved riding on this little tractor that belongs to our neighbor.
Another good night of rest followed a fun, outside day!
Such a good rest that we all went to church on Sunday, June 4. We thought about taking just the four older girls and Trent staying home with Ruth. The more we thought about it we thought it might be more upsetting for her to be left behind.
We were proud to rock our Chinese silk dresses. Ruth did amazing at church. To be honest, she was probably better behaved than our other kids were at her age. It was also her first time, so maybe the more comfortable she gets the louder she will be. She stayed with us the whole time and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. I won't be leaving her in Sunday school or nursery for quite awhile.
Ruth and Caroline helped water the garden Sunday afternoon.
She mostly watered her feet and the one plant closest to her.
We made jam (as in she tried to eat all the strawberries).
She fake napped with Maggie.
Ruth and Caroline danced on these stools and turned up the Bluetooth speaker as loud as they could.
We went to another softball game where Anne played her best game of the season.
She ate McDonalds like a real American.
And loved on her daddy!
Wednesday, June 7 we felt ready to take her to Grandpa and Grandma Hess's!
Uncle Troy got her set up with a Walkie Talkie straight away. She was pretty happy about it.
She sat on a bucket with Grandpa.
Aren't they precious together?
Grandma got out a riding toy just her size.
Sweetie sitting with Grandma.
I guess I didn't take any pictures on Thursday. It was another good day at home. On evenings that Anne has practice I take her and Trent stays home with the girls to give them dinner and baths. It has worked out really well. It gives me a little break and the girls are all happy to have time with Daddy.
Caroline and Ruth standing in front of the sunflower garden we are growing. This is 1 week after planting.
The youngest child always gets the stool closest to where I stand inside the kitchen. This has been hard for Carrie since the stool Ruthie is on was her stool for 3 years. They make me nervous standing like this but they love to be right with me and can see better if they stand.
Caroline and Ruth helped me get the campfire ready for the first campfire of the season. They pulled sticks over to the fire pit for a solid 25 minutes. It was glorious to see them getting along so nicely and working together.
First s'more of the season. Her lap is too small to hold a little plate!
A little unsure.
Not bad but a little messy.
Totally relaxed. Ruth actually doesn't really like sweets that much. She pretty much just made a mess of it then handed it to trent and wanted wiped up.
Our crew (plus our neighbor, Davin, who is like an honorary brother).
I think in many ways, our transition is going better than I ever anticipated. Ruth truly fits in well with our family.
Today, Friday June 9, and for small parts of other days she does seem to get a little sad and cry. It's always hard to know if it is from grief or not. I'm sure she misses her foster family. They are wonderful people who cared for Ruth for half her life. I will never discount the role they played in her life.
I also think much of the reason she is doing so well is to their credit. Her foster family selflessly FaceTimed with us every week for months before we traveled. She recognized us when we met her in person. They talked to her everyday for a couple weeks before we went to get her to tell her about what was going to happen. Who knows how much a two year old understands, but it was helpful.
As far as how Trent and I are feeling, the first week honestly was kind of a blur. Much like when you bring a newborn home, your life revolves around getting them to sleep and eat and pee and poo. Once those things are worked out the fun can really begin.
Having five kids is actually pretty easy. Some of you will remember a few years ago when we had five kids under five years old and it was not easy. Fostering and international adoption are so very different. If Ruth was still seeing her foster or biological family every two weeks and we were caring for her in between like was the case when we fostered, I doubt things would be going so nicely.
As much as we loved the two children we fostered, I often felt like I was babysitting. On really long days with them I would find myself wishing that at 5:00 their mom would pick them up. I know sometimes adoptive families can feel that way as well. I can honestly say that I never felt that way with Ruthie. From the day that Hannah and Callum left her with us on "handover" day, she was mine. I feel the exact same deep love for her that I felt for each of our biological children.
We are so thankful to be through the jet lag and to be into our routine. Ruth has a routine doctor appointment next week and then in July will have her first appointment with the cleft team who will determine which type of surgery will be best to repair her palate.
I am thoroughly enjoying life. We are on summer break from school and I have put my sign painting business on (potentially permanent) hold. I'm getting enough sleep and I feel great! I love being a mom and having no other big responsibilities other than being Mama has felt really really good.
