It has been months since I have taken the time to sit down and write out a blog post. But this was so good I had to make the time for it this morning.... I have Baby napping, and three big girls out in the beautiful, falling snow.
On Monday (today is Wednesday), November 24, 2014, Trent and I went to refinance our home mortgage. I know you are rolling your eyes right now thinking "Who really cares?" Under normal circumstances I would agree with you. It would be one of those mildly annoying Facebook status updates that I scroll right past. (Because really, do we need to know that you went to the gym this morning and burned 5 million calories, or that you are at the dentist getting a tooth filled, or that you are refinancing your home mortgage?) The answer, friends, is, "No."
Trent and I drove separate to the title company, he came straight from work, and I came after safely dropping our four girls off with my in-laws. After signing our next 30 years away, I wondered if Trent would care if I quick went across the street to ACMoore to get some paint supplies. (A trip to the craft store by myself?? This was too good to pass up.) He said fine, he called to order pizza which he planned to pick up and bring to his parents' house for dinner.
I'm sorry if I'm boring you to tears, because the good part is just around the corner.....
I took longer than I expected at the craft store. When I was just a few minutes down the road the traffic news on the radio talked about an accident at the intersection of Byerland Church Road and Rawlinsville Road. If you aren't local and have no idea what I mean, this intersection MUST be crossed to get to Trent's parents's house, and is less than a mile from the entrance of their development.
Instantly I had this deep, awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. Trent would have been ahead of me on the drive home and had to go through that intersection. I quickly switched off the radio and the silence enveloped me. Then I did something I don't think I have ever done before in such a way. I prayed Scripture. Verse after verse after verse came pouring out of my mouth. I don't know how long I prayed but this amazing feeling of "peace that passes understanding" came over me. And I knew in that moment that even IF something did happen to Trent, that the LORD is my Rock and my Salvation, my ever present help in trouble. And that even IF something happened that the Lord would see me through, He would never leave me, nor forsake me. And even IF something terrible happened that the Steadfast Love of the Lord Never Ceases.
As I neared the intersection I kept anticipating lights, ambulances, and emergency vehicles. And there were no lights. There was nothing. No car off the road, no evidence that anything had happened there.
After talking with Trent he said there had been no accident when he went through several minutes before I did.
I don't know if the news radio had the wrong intersection, or if it was just a little fender bender, or what the case was, but I knew in that moment that could have been rattled with fear, that I felt peace. It was a beautiful moment.
Tomorrow we celebrate Thanksgiving, and I can truly say that the thing I am most thankful for is the steadfast love of the Lord. It never ceases. That doesn't mean that I will never go through hard times or lose loved ones, but the Lord will see me through each of those days. Thank you, Lord!
**Also, if you do not currently memorize Scripture I encourage you to do so. The girls memorize a verse every week, and they have helped me to memorize the verses right along with them.**
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Friday, July 11, 2014
I'm Offended!
How many times do we hear those words? How many times do we say them? People, can we just STOP!
I think often when I hear those words, they come out sounding different from "I'm offended". They might sound like, "I disagree ..." or "I can't believe...." or "I heard that...."
Let me give you a more tangible example. Have you seen this video? It's a Job Interview for the World's Toughest Job.
It's a sweet video that was created before Mother's Day to thank moms for the hard work that they do. I'll add my personal disclaimer that many of the qualifications are exaggerated from my personal mommy-ing experience (such as - no sleep. My kids are *usually* good sleepers.) However, it's not necessary to nit pick the video to match your exact experience. The idea is that moms do a hard and often thankless job, and it can be quite tough.
After this video went crazy on my Facebook feed I finally decided to watch it. It was sweet and touching. Then I saw some comments from "non-moms". Comments such as "I'm sick of being told I'm not good enough because I'm not a mom". Comments like, "Oh please, no mom does all of those things". Comments such as, "My job is stressful and pressing, too. Seriously? Toughest job in the world?" And on and on.
No where in this video did it say you are not good enough if you are not a mom. That is the fear of the individual commenter. Granted, I would agree that probably most moms don't do everything in the video ALL the time - however, there are probably seasons in their mothering where they do those things.
Can you guys see what I see? People are SO selfish. If you are not a mom then this video isn't intended for you. It is a perfectly sweet video for moms. There is absolutely no reason to get offended over this video. I could understand how it may make you sad if you wanted to be a mom and are not. But even then, those are the feelings of the individual, and doesn't mean the video is worthless just because you are not a mom.
I feel like every time I turn around people are posting videos or articles about a "cause" they are for or against. For example: breastfeeding in public. The few times that I am out during the time I need to breastfeed, I use a nursing cover. My opinion is that there are times that it probably is not appropriate to sit in a group of people and nurse your baby. To me, it can feel awkward to have a serious conversation while hearing slurping noises coming out from under the nursing cover. But if it makes me uncomfortable it is my problem, not the mother who is nursing her baby.
The ONLY time I have ever seen a mother breastfeed her baby in public without a cover was at the mall in the play place. It was an Amish lady who just opened the front of her dress and started feeding her baby. I'll be honest to say I was surprised, but I didn't quick hide my kids eyes or act like the sky was falling. In fact, that seemed more appropriate than the aforementioned setting.
Plus, do people really care that much? Maybe I'm just sheltered and don't go into many public places, but I really don't even see why this is an issue.
All that to say, can we all just please stop being so selfish? The more I talk to friends and listen to friends the more often I see selfishness creeping into our lives. We may try to justify it, but lets be honest with ourselves and see it for what it is.
Another day, I'll speak more on selfishness, but in the meantime, let's take a hard look at ourselves and try to get that plank out of our own eye before picking the speck out of our neighbor's eye.
I think often when I hear those words, they come out sounding different from "I'm offended". They might sound like, "I disagree ..." or "I can't believe...." or "I heard that...."
Let me give you a more tangible example. Have you seen this video? It's a Job Interview for the World's Toughest Job.
It's a sweet video that was created before Mother's Day to thank moms for the hard work that they do. I'll add my personal disclaimer that many of the qualifications are exaggerated from my personal mommy-ing experience (such as - no sleep. My kids are *usually* good sleepers.) However, it's not necessary to nit pick the video to match your exact experience. The idea is that moms do a hard and often thankless job, and it can be quite tough.
After this video went crazy on my Facebook feed I finally decided to watch it. It was sweet and touching. Then I saw some comments from "non-moms". Comments such as "I'm sick of being told I'm not good enough because I'm not a mom". Comments like, "Oh please, no mom does all of those things". Comments such as, "My job is stressful and pressing, too. Seriously? Toughest job in the world?" And on and on.
No where in this video did it say you are not good enough if you are not a mom. That is the fear of the individual commenter. Granted, I would agree that probably most moms don't do everything in the video ALL the time - however, there are probably seasons in their mothering where they do those things.
Can you guys see what I see? People are SO selfish. If you are not a mom then this video isn't intended for you. It is a perfectly sweet video for moms. There is absolutely no reason to get offended over this video. I could understand how it may make you sad if you wanted to be a mom and are not. But even then, those are the feelings of the individual, and doesn't mean the video is worthless just because you are not a mom.
I feel like every time I turn around people are posting videos or articles about a "cause" they are for or against. For example: breastfeeding in public. The few times that I am out during the time I need to breastfeed, I use a nursing cover. My opinion is that there are times that it probably is not appropriate to sit in a group of people and nurse your baby. To me, it can feel awkward to have a serious conversation while hearing slurping noises coming out from under the nursing cover. But if it makes me uncomfortable it is my problem, not the mother who is nursing her baby.
The ONLY time I have ever seen a mother breastfeed her baby in public without a cover was at the mall in the play place. It was an Amish lady who just opened the front of her dress and started feeding her baby. I'll be honest to say I was surprised, but I didn't quick hide my kids eyes or act like the sky was falling. In fact, that seemed more appropriate than the aforementioned setting.
Plus, do people really care that much? Maybe I'm just sheltered and don't go into many public places, but I really don't even see why this is an issue.
All that to say, can we all just please stop being so selfish? The more I talk to friends and listen to friends the more often I see selfishness creeping into our lives. We may try to justify it, but lets be honest with ourselves and see it for what it is.
Another day, I'll speak more on selfishness, but in the meantime, let's take a hard look at ourselves and try to get that plank out of our own eye before picking the speck out of our neighbor's eye.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Abigail is FIVE (and two months)
I realized I've really lagged on the blogging lately. I'm hoping now that we are done with homeschool for the summer that I'll have more time for things like this. However, based on how this first week of "summer vacation" has gone it may not necessarily be the case.
So here's a little about our second born, Abbey Frances, who turned the big f-i-v-e back in April.
Abbey is really doing well with reading! She could read pretty many words when school started back in late August, but they were mostly sight words and one syllable words. When we read chapter books together she will often want to sit on my lap or lay beside me so she can see the words. Often she will start the sentence, sometimes reading an entire sentence, or at least getting as far as possible. She has started putting multiple syllable words together, which is really exciting for her (and me!). Math started out very easy for Abbey, but as the school year progressed she started getting more and more challenged. She did finish Kindergarten math, and will move on to first grade in the fall. It's been really fun to watch Abbey gain confidence in her reading abilities. It is now a common sight to see her reading to Maggie, and her car seat is piled full of her little books so she can read whenever we are on the go. Abbey continues to be able to memorize quickly and easily. She memorized 26 verses this school year as well as the poem 'Trees' by Joyce Kilmer.
As sweet as Abbey can be, she continues to be a challenge for me to parent. She is an introvert by nature, which, being an extrovert myself, I have a hard time understanding where she is coming from. She sometimes will get upset by something and I have NO IDEA why she is crying. From what I understand about her personality, she tends to hold things in and it could be something that happened last week that really upset her, but this one little thing (for example Maggie not sharing a toy) is that straw that breaks the camel's back.
Abbey does tend to get angry easily. But, she is usually quick to regain control. She appreciates one-on-one time and smaller settings. She tends to get overwhelmed in large groups of people. Often I will send her to her room when she is out of control. When I go to talk with her about what happened and what upset her and try to give her methods of regaining control she appreciates when I hold her on my lap and pray with her.
Speaking of prayer, Abbey is a PRAYER WARRIOR!! She LOVES to pray for people. She has a LOOOOONG list of people that she prays for every night. (Though to be honest I tend to lose patience and am ready for her to wrap it up with a tidy "Amen" at about minute five.) She has a very tender heart toward others, especially those who are sick. She had prayed nightly for a little boy named Ben who was suffering through brain cancer. He died last month, but she still prays for his family every night. A highschool classmate of mine died last year and left behind his wife and three kids. She prays for them every night. A young woman with cancer came to speak at our church and share her journey. I told the woman I would pray for her and asked the kids to keep me accountable. We have prayed for her every night since. Unfortunately, this young woman seems to be getting worse. The children often ask for updates on the health of the people we have been praying for.
Abbey was very in tune to what we were talking about. Last night she asked, "Is Kim going to die like Ben?" I didn't know how to answer. Because, the truth is, yes, she probably will die. Of course, God CAN heal her, but they prayed so hard for Ben to be healed and he wasn't. And how can little children grasp all of this? We talked about the passage we had read from Genesis that morning, about sin entering the world, and that these bad things happen because of sin. How can they understand when I can scarcely (if at all) wrap my mind around it. When it was Trent's turn to pray he prayed for the "candy man" (a kind, older gentleman who passes out candy to children after the service) from our church who is not in good health. The kids were instantly asking all kinds of questions about what is wrong with him and why he is sick. Trent continued with his prayer and maybe a few seconds later Abbey burst into tears.
I took Abbey onto my lap and let her cry and then tried to get her to explain why she was upset. (See, extroverts like me, Anne, and Maggie will just chat about it right away. Not Abbey. I'm learning!!) After asking a couple of questions I came to understand that she was really sad that the "candy man" was sick because she really likes him. Often the people who are really sick and have died or may die are not people that we see on a regular basis or people that the children really know well. I'm sure Abbey's fervent prayers are being heard. It sure would be nice to hear some good news to boost their childlike faith.
Abbey has really impressed me with her love for little Caroline. She tends to like things to stay the way they are, and seemed the least excited about having another baby. But I think that is because I was looking for words and external statements of anticipation and excitement. Abbey internalizes all these things and cherishes them in her heart. She has such a sweet relationship with Caroline. I just LOVE to hear her talking to Carrie and making her smile. Abbey continues to look up to Anne and look to Anne for acceptance (am I funny? Am I smart?). She is a true big sister to Maggie, telling her what to do, reading to her, and helping her on her bike. But they are also so close in age that they play (most of the time) SO NICELY with each other. They are a joy!!
Abbey Frances has a really sweet and tender spirit. Although I do get frustrated with her at times, I'm finding this really beautiful little soul peep out at me when I least expect it. I can see a rough road ahead for her if she allows the devil a foothold on her sin-nature and the tendency to get angry. However, I have so much hope that she will instead allow the LORD to work in her life and allow Him to polish that bright little spirit she has within her.
So here's a little about our second born, Abbey Frances, who turned the big f-i-v-e back in April.
Abbey is really doing well with reading! She could read pretty many words when school started back in late August, but they were mostly sight words and one syllable words. When we read chapter books together she will often want to sit on my lap or lay beside me so she can see the words. Often she will start the sentence, sometimes reading an entire sentence, or at least getting as far as possible. She has started putting multiple syllable words together, which is really exciting for her (and me!). Math started out very easy for Abbey, but as the school year progressed she started getting more and more challenged. She did finish Kindergarten math, and will move on to first grade in the fall. It's been really fun to watch Abbey gain confidence in her reading abilities. It is now a common sight to see her reading to Maggie, and her car seat is piled full of her little books so she can read whenever we are on the go. Abbey continues to be able to memorize quickly and easily. She memorized 26 verses this school year as well as the poem 'Trees' by Joyce Kilmer.
As sweet as Abbey can be, she continues to be a challenge for me to parent. She is an introvert by nature, which, being an extrovert myself, I have a hard time understanding where she is coming from. She sometimes will get upset by something and I have NO IDEA why she is crying. From what I understand about her personality, she tends to hold things in and it could be something that happened last week that really upset her, but this one little thing (for example Maggie not sharing a toy) is that straw that breaks the camel's back.
Abbey does tend to get angry easily. But, she is usually quick to regain control. She appreciates one-on-one time and smaller settings. She tends to get overwhelmed in large groups of people. Often I will send her to her room when she is out of control. When I go to talk with her about what happened and what upset her and try to give her methods of regaining control she appreciates when I hold her on my lap and pray with her.
Speaking of prayer, Abbey is a PRAYER WARRIOR!! She LOVES to pray for people. She has a LOOOOONG list of people that she prays for every night. (Though to be honest I tend to lose patience and am ready for her to wrap it up with a tidy "Amen" at about minute five.) She has a very tender heart toward others, especially those who are sick. She had prayed nightly for a little boy named Ben who was suffering through brain cancer. He died last month, but she still prays for his family every night. A highschool classmate of mine died last year and left behind his wife and three kids. She prays for them every night. A young woman with cancer came to speak at our church and share her journey. I told the woman I would pray for her and asked the kids to keep me accountable. We have prayed for her every night since. Unfortunately, this young woman seems to be getting worse. The children often ask for updates on the health of the people we have been praying for.
Abbey was very in tune to what we were talking about. Last night she asked, "Is Kim going to die like Ben?" I didn't know how to answer. Because, the truth is, yes, she probably will die. Of course, God CAN heal her, but they prayed so hard for Ben to be healed and he wasn't. And how can little children grasp all of this? We talked about the passage we had read from Genesis that morning, about sin entering the world, and that these bad things happen because of sin. How can they understand when I can scarcely (if at all) wrap my mind around it. When it was Trent's turn to pray he prayed for the "candy man" (a kind, older gentleman who passes out candy to children after the service) from our church who is not in good health. The kids were instantly asking all kinds of questions about what is wrong with him and why he is sick. Trent continued with his prayer and maybe a few seconds later Abbey burst into tears.
I took Abbey onto my lap and let her cry and then tried to get her to explain why she was upset. (See, extroverts like me, Anne, and Maggie will just chat about it right away. Not Abbey. I'm learning!!) After asking a couple of questions I came to understand that she was really sad that the "candy man" was sick because she really likes him. Often the people who are really sick and have died or may die are not people that we see on a regular basis or people that the children really know well. I'm sure Abbey's fervent prayers are being heard. It sure would be nice to hear some good news to boost their childlike faith.
Abbey has really impressed me with her love for little Caroline. She tends to like things to stay the way they are, and seemed the least excited about having another baby. But I think that is because I was looking for words and external statements of anticipation and excitement. Abbey internalizes all these things and cherishes them in her heart. She has such a sweet relationship with Caroline. I just LOVE to hear her talking to Carrie and making her smile. Abbey continues to look up to Anne and look to Anne for acceptance (am I funny? Am I smart?). She is a true big sister to Maggie, telling her what to do, reading to her, and helping her on her bike. But they are also so close in age that they play (most of the time) SO NICELY with each other. They are a joy!!
Abbey Frances has a really sweet and tender spirit. Although I do get frustrated with her at times, I'm finding this really beautiful little soul peep out at me when I least expect it. I can see a rough road ahead for her if she allows the devil a foothold on her sin-nature and the tendency to get angry. However, I have so much hope that she will instead allow the LORD to work in her life and allow Him to polish that bright little spirit she has within her.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
This Means War
Yesterday I heard one of the loveliest, most down-to-earth, honest woman share about raising godly children. She has eight of them. I'm in awe.
Today I went to work with my four little heathens (okay, Baby is still pretty sweet, but for some unknown reason she has started waking in the night after two months straight of sleeping 12 hour nights).
And I failed. Oh-so miserably.
All of the kids seemed extra-whiny, and crying about EVERYTHING!
Rest time started out splendidly with the two littlest sleeping and the two older girls working with their sewing kits. I got right to work getting rid of 50+ things.
Then one girl started crying. Big girl would not help smaller girl get her thread untangled. Smaller girl cried. Bigger girl went into a different room and locked the door. Smaller girl continued crying. I untangled thread, talked to bigger girl, consoled smaller girl. And on, and on, and on. Smallish girl woke up too soon crying. Smallish girl wandered from room to room still crying. Baby wakes up crying.
I get almost nothing accomplished. I get frustrated. I want to yell at everyone. I bite my tongue. I practice the fake smile as out speaker suggested. Smallish girl sees through the fake smile and cries.
I nurse Baby to calm her. Biggest girl cleans up nicely. Bigish girl cries that someone needs to help her clean up. Smallish girl whines/cries. Baby spits up on my shirt.
I pray. Why did God give me four emotional girls to raise? I can't handle them.
The lyrics ''When I'm weak, you make me strong.'' started rolling through my mind. Those lyrics are inspired by this verse:
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
And I'm reminded that I am correct in saying I can't handle them. But God can. And there is grace available to us through Him.
And I feel that all along this day has been one huge Spiritual battle. Because let's be honest, I felt downright inspired by the words of this godly woman. And today I began to feel defeated. And what is the cause?
Ephesians 6:11-12 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
So I press on. I will continue to implement these great ideas learned, but perhaps I'll do them a little more slowly. It isn't reasonable for me to tackle all areas that I would like to at once. In the meantime, I'm aware of this Spiritual battle against my own worth as a mom, and against my children.
Today I went to work with my four little heathens (okay, Baby is still pretty sweet, but for some unknown reason she has started waking in the night after two months straight of sleeping 12 hour nights).
And I failed. Oh-so miserably.
All of the kids seemed extra-whiny, and crying about EVERYTHING!
Rest time started out splendidly with the two littlest sleeping and the two older girls working with their sewing kits. I got right to work getting rid of 50+ things.
Then one girl started crying. Big girl would not help smaller girl get her thread untangled. Smaller girl cried. Bigger girl went into a different room and locked the door. Smaller girl continued crying. I untangled thread, talked to bigger girl, consoled smaller girl. And on, and on, and on. Smallish girl woke up too soon crying. Smallish girl wandered from room to room still crying. Baby wakes up crying.
I get almost nothing accomplished. I get frustrated. I want to yell at everyone. I bite my tongue. I practice the fake smile as out speaker suggested. Smallish girl sees through the fake smile and cries.
I nurse Baby to calm her. Biggest girl cleans up nicely. Bigish girl cries that someone needs to help her clean up. Smallish girl whines/cries. Baby spits up on my shirt.
I pray. Why did God give me four emotional girls to raise? I can't handle them.
The lyrics ''When I'm weak, you make me strong.'' started rolling through my mind. Those lyrics are inspired by this verse:
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
And I'm reminded that I am correct in saying I can't handle them. But God can. And there is grace available to us through Him.
And I feel that all along this day has been one huge Spiritual battle. Because let's be honest, I felt downright inspired by the words of this godly woman. And today I began to feel defeated. And what is the cause?
Ephesians 6:11-12 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
So I press on. I will continue to implement these great ideas learned, but perhaps I'll do them a little more slowly. It isn't reasonable for me to tackle all areas that I would like to at once. In the meantime, I'm aware of this Spiritual battle against my own worth as a mom, and against my children.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Tired
Can I just be honest here?
I'm freaking tired of this winter.
And I say that in the nicest way possible. I LOVE WINTER! I love the chance to slow down, to rest, to stay indoors. I love snow. I love bundling the kiddos up to send them on their merry way to romp in the snow. I love wiping up the melted snow.
But now, I've had enough. I'm sick to death of that pile of winter clothes at my back door that is creeping into the living room. I'm tired of the puzzle pieces. I'm tired of Trouble. I'm sick of the endless papers and crayons and markers all over the place. I'm tired of stepping on blocks. I'm tired of nagging the kids to put their stuff away when they are done with it. I'm tired of teaching school. I'm tired of preparing meals. I'm tired of the dishes. I'm fed up with being inside.
I have found myself snapping at the kids; having a short fuse and getting irritated at every turn. I've found myself having curse words at the tip of my tongue because I'm just sick of it!
And you know what? I'm not the only one. The kids can feel it, too. They feel the monotony of this day-in and day-out life. My dear, sweet, girls who typically get along so well, have hit, squeezed, yelled, shouted nasty words, and cried all so far this morning. So right now, they are outside. I have to make lunch. I have to clean up the table from school. I have to pick up the puzzle pieces all over the place. I have to finish throwing away markers that don't work and crayons that are too small to use *on the sly, of course, because those little hoarder kids of mine WILL pull them out of the trash*. And what am I doing? Ranting here on my blog.
Despite these weary days I have been experiencing, I know there are brighter days ahead. And I know that I have much to be grateful for. Since I am an optimist by nature I don't often know what to do with negative feelings. So, here is my go at what I can do.
Choose joy.
Choose to be grateful.
Give thanks.
And now that I've vented my anger, I will do the above three things.
Choose joy: during school today Baby Carrie laughed. She smiled her sweet baby smile and had a nice little laugh at the /p/ sound.
Choose to be grateful: Baby Carrie sleeps ALL NIGHT, every night. She is pretty much the perfect baby. She is sweet and happy and a good sleeper. She hardly ever cries. I have done absolutely NOTHING to deserve this - I'm not a better mom than anyone else that I have such a lovely baby, so I can be grateful to God for her. I am grateful for our big house and yard. We have this amazing unfinished basement that I have sent the kids down in to ride tricycle when they just have too much energy and I can't take it anymore. I sent them down yesterday to blow bubbles. We have a great yard for the kids to run around in and dig holes and find worms and burn off energy. I have an amazing husband who supports our family Spiritually and financially. He is wonderful. I'm grateful for him.
Give thanks: I give thanks to my amazing God, author and perfecter of life. I would not be here but for His amazing grace, so I give Him thanks.
And just like that, my spirit is lifted. I think sometimes I focus too inwardly and begin to think selfishly. When I begin to do this, I get the "woe is me", "my life sucks" mentality. When I focus my eyes on Jesus, I too am lifted.
Now, I think I'll make lunch.
I'm freaking tired of this winter.
And I say that in the nicest way possible. I LOVE WINTER! I love the chance to slow down, to rest, to stay indoors. I love snow. I love bundling the kiddos up to send them on their merry way to romp in the snow. I love wiping up the melted snow.
But now, I've had enough. I'm sick to death of that pile of winter clothes at my back door that is creeping into the living room. I'm tired of the puzzle pieces. I'm tired of Trouble. I'm sick of the endless papers and crayons and markers all over the place. I'm tired of stepping on blocks. I'm tired of nagging the kids to put their stuff away when they are done with it. I'm tired of teaching school. I'm tired of preparing meals. I'm tired of the dishes. I'm fed up with being inside.
I have found myself snapping at the kids; having a short fuse and getting irritated at every turn. I've found myself having curse words at the tip of my tongue because I'm just sick of it!
And you know what? I'm not the only one. The kids can feel it, too. They feel the monotony of this day-in and day-out life. My dear, sweet, girls who typically get along so well, have hit, squeezed, yelled, shouted nasty words, and cried all so far this morning. So right now, they are outside. I have to make lunch. I have to clean up the table from school. I have to pick up the puzzle pieces all over the place. I have to finish throwing away markers that don't work and crayons that are too small to use *on the sly, of course, because those little hoarder kids of mine WILL pull them out of the trash*. And what am I doing? Ranting here on my blog.
Despite these weary days I have been experiencing, I know there are brighter days ahead. And I know that I have much to be grateful for. Since I am an optimist by nature I don't often know what to do with negative feelings. So, here is my go at what I can do.
Choose joy.
Choose to be grateful.
Give thanks.
And now that I've vented my anger, I will do the above three things.
Choose joy: during school today Baby Carrie laughed. She smiled her sweet baby smile and had a nice little laugh at the /p/ sound.
Choose to be grateful: Baby Carrie sleeps ALL NIGHT, every night. She is pretty much the perfect baby. She is sweet and happy and a good sleeper. She hardly ever cries. I have done absolutely NOTHING to deserve this - I'm not a better mom than anyone else that I have such a lovely baby, so I can be grateful to God for her. I am grateful for our big house and yard. We have this amazing unfinished basement that I have sent the kids down in to ride tricycle when they just have too much energy and I can't take it anymore. I sent them down yesterday to blow bubbles. We have a great yard for the kids to run around in and dig holes and find worms and burn off energy. I have an amazing husband who supports our family Spiritually and financially. He is wonderful. I'm grateful for him.
Give thanks: I give thanks to my amazing God, author and perfecter of life. I would not be here but for His amazing grace, so I give Him thanks.
And just like that, my spirit is lifted. I think sometimes I focus too inwardly and begin to think selfishly. When I begin to do this, I get the "woe is me", "my life sucks" mentality. When I focus my eyes on Jesus, I too am lifted.
Now, I think I'll make lunch.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
How to Create your Picture Wall
Let me just start this post by saying that I thoroughly enjoy Pinterest. Idea sharing it much easier these days. However, I think it probably has some drawbacks as well, in that some people don't necessarily WANT to share their ideas. I admit to feeling that way on occasion when I spend a lot of time creating a new design and someone wants to use my exact design to make their own signs. However, I'm sure I have done the same thing to other people, whether I tried it or not. So that being said, let the idea sharing begin!
Many of you were interested to know how to create an interesting picture wall in your home. I don't claim to be anything like an interior decorator, but I am happy to share with you what I came up with for a picture wall.
This is a long wall in our master bedroom, but a similar idea would work well in a living room, hallway, or really anywhere that you have a fair amount of wall space. The colors I am working with in our bedroom are gray, white, black, and yellow.
My sister-in-law gave me three beautifully matted and framed photographs of Trent and me from their wedding. There were an addition two pictures that she wasn't sure that we wanted framed, but gave us the prints. These photographs were so lovely and symbolized the great love that Trent and I have for each other. It was a neat series of photos taken at their "photo booth". In the photos I am grabbing Trent's jacket and pulling him in for a kiss. And then there is a nice shot of the two of us smiling.
So, I had three frames given to me. After looking on Pinterest I knew I wanted to add some color with a yellow & white chevron pattern with an "H" in the middle. I went with a black "H", but debated for quite awhile if I should do gray or black. (I made this myself - but I charge $25 for this size/design)
I wanted to add interest with a different shaped mirror. I really thought a scroll-pattern antique looking mirror would be neat, but I couldn't find one. I found the round mirror at TJ Maxx for just $15.
I needed more frames to go with what I had. I really didn't want to mat them all myself, so was looking for some already matted frames. Originally I had planned to use a mixture of frames. However, I was able to find a pack of seven frames of different sizes and shapes already matted at TJ Maxx for $30.
The "Hess Family" established sign is another work that I created. These are available as custom orders for $30.
The yellow table was a great find! I purchased it off the Lancaster County Furniture & Vintage site from the sweetest of women. It was $75.
"Grow old with me" was a design I created that I absolutely love! I wanted a more unique love-saying to go in our room. I absolutely love old poetry, and came across this line from one of Robert Browning's poems. This is especially fitting for Trent since he always claims he can't wait until he is old. This sign is available as a custom order for $35.
There is still a lot I would like to do with our bedroom. I'd like to add a comfy reading chair beside my yellow table. We only have one hand-me-down dresser that we squeeze both of our clothes into. We have random books and photo albums and my scrapbooking stuff just piled in one corner of the room. A bookshelf or two would be lovely. But, one thing at a time. For now I am enjoying this extra pretty spot in our room!
I hope you enjoyed the little tour of my bedroom. It was a joy to share it with you all!
Many of you were interested to know how to create an interesting picture wall in your home. I don't claim to be anything like an interior decorator, but I am happy to share with you what I came up with for a picture wall.
This is a long wall in our master bedroom, but a similar idea would work well in a living room, hallway, or really anywhere that you have a fair amount of wall space. The colors I am working with in our bedroom are gray, white, black, and yellow.
My sister-in-law gave me three beautifully matted and framed photographs of Trent and me from their wedding. There were an addition two pictures that she wasn't sure that we wanted framed, but gave us the prints. These photographs were so lovely and symbolized the great love that Trent and I have for each other. It was a neat series of photos taken at their "photo booth". In the photos I am grabbing Trent's jacket and pulling him in for a kiss. And then there is a nice shot of the two of us smiling.
So, I had three frames given to me. After looking on Pinterest I knew I wanted to add some color with a yellow & white chevron pattern with an "H" in the middle. I went with a black "H", but debated for quite awhile if I should do gray or black. (I made this myself - but I charge $25 for this size/design)
I wanted to add interest with a different shaped mirror. I really thought a scroll-pattern antique looking mirror would be neat, but I couldn't find one. I found the round mirror at TJ Maxx for just $15.
The "Hess Family" established sign is another work that I created. These are available as custom orders for $30.
The yellow table was a great find! I purchased it off the Lancaster County Furniture & Vintage site from the sweetest of women. It was $75.
"Grow old with me" was a design I created that I absolutely love! I wanted a more unique love-saying to go in our room. I absolutely love old poetry, and came across this line from one of Robert Browning's poems. This is especially fitting for Trent since he always claims he can't wait until he is old. This sign is available as a custom order for $35.
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| To the left of this table I would like to add a comfy reading chair. |
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| Our bed!! |
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| Keeping it real - that is the corner of the room where I put all our boxes and stuff I don't know where else to put for the time being. |
I hope you enjoyed the little tour of my bedroom. It was a joy to share it with you all!
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
What I Wore Wednesday
Across the blogging world women write these "What I Wore Wednesday" posts. I don't claim to be anything like a fashionista, but I decided I'd participate this week.
I'm getting back to my regular clothes after Baby #4 who is now 9 weeks old!!
Special thanks to my four-year-old photo loving, daughter, Abigail who took most of these photos.
I'm getting back to my regular clothes after Baby #4 who is now 9 weeks old!!
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| Jean Jacket - H&M// Dressy Jeans - Banana Republic |
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| White Shirt - H&M// Black Heels - TJ Maxx |
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| "Mint-2-be" Nail polish- H&M |
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| Necklace-Old Navy// Shirt detail- H&M |
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| Hair piece (borrowed from my daughters) - Crazy8// Earrings-Gap |
Monday, February 10, 2014
Giving Up
Most of the time we think of "giving up" as a negative term. However, I want to share with you today how "giving up" saved my life.
I had started to share many months ago about my Spiritual conversion, but sort of chickened out because of my pride. Recently I have seen and read many articles about gay marriage, homosexual relationships, ordaining ministers who are openly homosexual, etc. Most of these articles have been well written. I wonder how many people really change their mind after reading these articles, or if they only cause them to stick to their guns more tightly and cling to their previously held beliefs?
I can't remember how long ago I read the article in WORLD magazine, but it was something that stuck with me. It has clung to my brain more than the philosophical, biblical, amazingly balanced, well written articles that I have read since then (and I have read a lot of them).
If I could find a link I would link you directly to the article. In the meantime, I'll give you a general overview. The article was written about a practicing lesbian who had a spiritual conversion. She was attending church for quite awhile while in this relationship, but her partner never attended with her. At some point, she came to the conclusion that in order to grow spiritually she needed to get out of this female-female relationship, but it was hard. So she started asking people in her congregation, "What did you have to give up in order to come to Christ?" And their responses amazed her. From the outside she was seeing these Christians as people who were "practically perfect", involved in church, soccer moms, homeschooling moms, hardworking dads, and the list goes on. Yet each one of them had something they had to give up.
I have many sins that I could list here from prior to my spiritual conversion (and after). However, if someone were to ask me directly, "What did you have to give up to come to Christ?" I would say sexual sin. The way that I filled the void of my Heavenly Father was through intimate connections with men. Am I just as much of a sinner as any homosexual? Yes. This is the main reason I never get into arguments or "discussions" about such topics. I know who I am, and where I once was. Do I agree with their lifestyle? No. Do I agree with anyone having sex outside of marriage? No. Was I once that person? Yes.
The reality is that I had major sin in my life before coming to Christ. I gave that up to come to Him. Was it easy? NO! Especially when I started dating again after my Spiritual conversion. It was tough! Do I still have sin in my life? Yes! However, when I look at where I was ten years ago (I just celebrated my 10th Spiritual birthday last month!!) and where I am now I am continually grateful for the grace God has shown me and the ways He has worked in my life.
I still have "sins of the heart" as my preacher-husband likes to call them. Anger and pride are the two that I work on the most. Self-control falls in there somewhere, but it is usually accompanied by anger or spurred on by my injured pride. And this is life. We are all running in the race, whether we know it or not. Whether we are going toward Christ or away from Him.
I hope this has been an encouragement to you all to remember where you once were, and where you are now. Whether that encourages you to keep fighting the good fight, or to get back in the race, or to give up whatever it is that is holding you back from a closer relationship (or any relationship) with our Heavenly Father.
Grow in God's grace.
I had started to share many months ago about my Spiritual conversion, but sort of chickened out because of my pride. Recently I have seen and read many articles about gay marriage, homosexual relationships, ordaining ministers who are openly homosexual, etc. Most of these articles have been well written. I wonder how many people really change their mind after reading these articles, or if they only cause them to stick to their guns more tightly and cling to their previously held beliefs?
I can't remember how long ago I read the article in WORLD magazine, but it was something that stuck with me. It has clung to my brain more than the philosophical, biblical, amazingly balanced, well written articles that I have read since then (and I have read a lot of them).
If I could find a link I would link you directly to the article. In the meantime, I'll give you a general overview. The article was written about a practicing lesbian who had a spiritual conversion. She was attending church for quite awhile while in this relationship, but her partner never attended with her. At some point, she came to the conclusion that in order to grow spiritually she needed to get out of this female-female relationship, but it was hard. So she started asking people in her congregation, "What did you have to give up in order to come to Christ?" And their responses amazed her. From the outside she was seeing these Christians as people who were "practically perfect", involved in church, soccer moms, homeschooling moms, hardworking dads, and the list goes on. Yet each one of them had something they had to give up.
I have many sins that I could list here from prior to my spiritual conversion (and after). However, if someone were to ask me directly, "What did you have to give up to come to Christ?" I would say sexual sin. The way that I filled the void of my Heavenly Father was through intimate connections with men. Am I just as much of a sinner as any homosexual? Yes. This is the main reason I never get into arguments or "discussions" about such topics. I know who I am, and where I once was. Do I agree with their lifestyle? No. Do I agree with anyone having sex outside of marriage? No. Was I once that person? Yes.
The reality is that I had major sin in my life before coming to Christ. I gave that up to come to Him. Was it easy? NO! Especially when I started dating again after my Spiritual conversion. It was tough! Do I still have sin in my life? Yes! However, when I look at where I was ten years ago (I just celebrated my 10th Spiritual birthday last month!!) and where I am now I am continually grateful for the grace God has shown me and the ways He has worked in my life.
I still have "sins of the heart" as my preacher-husband likes to call them. Anger and pride are the two that I work on the most. Self-control falls in there somewhere, but it is usually accompanied by anger or spurred on by my injured pride. And this is life. We are all running in the race, whether we know it or not. Whether we are going toward Christ or away from Him.
I hope this has been an encouragement to you all to remember where you once were, and where you are now. Whether that encourages you to keep fighting the good fight, or to get back in the race, or to give up whatever it is that is holding you back from a closer relationship (or any relationship) with our Heavenly Father.
Grow in God's grace.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Homeschool Love
We have been having some severe weather here in the northeastern part of the United States. We have had heaps of snow (yay!!) along with some frigid temperatures. Schools have closed for both of those reasons. I don't remember ever having school closed because of how cold it was outside, but it has happened multiple times this winter. When the windchill is -20 (or whatever it was), I can't blame schools for closing and delaying. I remember waiting for the bus in the cold as a kid and it certainly wasn't the most fun I've ever had in life. (Although if we're being really honest here, it was more like me running to the bus stop before the bus pulled away. Still not a morning person.)
Facebook is alive with angry parents: some angry because school is closed, some angry because their kids are driving them crazy, some angry because their kids will now be in school past the originally scheduled end date, and some just angry.
Before I continue, let me say up front that I know homeschool is NOT for everyone. So, what I am about to say are just my opinions which are biased and potentially flawed.
As a homeschooling mama I love snow days. Winter can be long and hard. Snow days are so joyful. I find it beautiful that my kids can do their schooling, then bundle up and play in the snow. We still accomplish the schooling that needs done, but can enjoy the fun six inches of fluffy white stuff. Now, the negative degree days were a little more difficult. We did our schooling, but going outside wasn't nearly as enjoyable. I have the privilege of having an unfinished basement that I sent the girls down in to ride tricycles and run around to burn off some energy. And the truth is - I did send my girls out on some of those really cold days. They were appropriately dressed and I only let them stay out for about 10-15 minutes, but it was worth it.
Have you heard of Common Core? I don't know much about it, but what I do know I don't like. You can follow this link to view a fabulous example of a Common Core math problem for a fourth grader. http://dailycaller.com/2014/01/22/heres-another-impossibly-stupid-common-core-math-worksheet/
I think that article speaks for itself.
Up until we started homeschooling I would have said it was not for me. Now we are halfway through our first year and I love, love, love it!
Facebook is alive with angry parents: some angry because school is closed, some angry because their kids are driving them crazy, some angry because their kids will now be in school past the originally scheduled end date, and some just angry.
Before I continue, let me say up front that I know homeschool is NOT for everyone. So, what I am about to say are just my opinions which are biased and potentially flawed.
As a homeschooling mama I love snow days. Winter can be long and hard. Snow days are so joyful. I find it beautiful that my kids can do their schooling, then bundle up and play in the snow. We still accomplish the schooling that needs done, but can enjoy the fun six inches of fluffy white stuff. Now, the negative degree days were a little more difficult. We did our schooling, but going outside wasn't nearly as enjoyable. I have the privilege of having an unfinished basement that I sent the girls down in to ride tricycles and run around to burn off some energy. And the truth is - I did send my girls out on some of those really cold days. They were appropriately dressed and I only let them stay out for about 10-15 minutes, but it was worth it.
Have you heard of Common Core? I don't know much about it, but what I do know I don't like. You can follow this link to view a fabulous example of a Common Core math problem for a fourth grader. http://dailycaller.com/2014/01/22/heres-another-impossibly-stupid-common-core-math-worksheet/
I think that article speaks for itself.
Up until we started homeschooling I would have said it was not for me. Now we are halfway through our first year and I love, love, love it!
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
2014- The Year of Joy
In 2013 we had a theme for the year, something we had never done before. Since 2012 had been a very stressful year we had concluded that our goal for 2013 was to be the "Year of Rejuvenation". Throughout the year, we continually reminded ourselves of this and sought to rejuvenate our minds and bodies.
We found this to be such an amazing way to focus our family and spur us on to positive thinking. As we look ahead to what 2014 may hold, the word that continually came to mind was "busy". Trent continues to have significant responsibility at work and at church, both of which require a fair amount of his time. I have the girls to teach, a baby to care for, and my small painting business that I hope will grow this year.
We have decided that our theme for 2014 will be "Joy". This word came to mind because regardless of how busy we are, we can always find time to be joyful. This will certainly be a good reminder in these first few months of 2014 where winter can seem to drag on and on and on. When the girls are restless and I am frazzled, I can and will find joy. And in those beautiful, beautiful Spring and Summer months when life is bliss, and it is easier to find joy, I will hold on to those moments to get me through the long and dreary days.
I hope you all have a joyful year and have found a way to focus your thoughts and energy into positive thinking! One sure way is to look to our Heavenly Father and bring praise every day and in every situation. the "sacrifice of praise". Cheers to another beautiful year!
We found this to be such an amazing way to focus our family and spur us on to positive thinking. As we look ahead to what 2014 may hold, the word that continually came to mind was "busy". Trent continues to have significant responsibility at work and at church, both of which require a fair amount of his time. I have the girls to teach, a baby to care for, and my small painting business that I hope will grow this year.
We have decided that our theme for 2014 will be "Joy". This word came to mind because regardless of how busy we are, we can always find time to be joyful. This will certainly be a good reminder in these first few months of 2014 where winter can seem to drag on and on and on. When the girls are restless and I am frazzled, I can and will find joy. And in those beautiful, beautiful Spring and Summer months when life is bliss, and it is easier to find joy, I will hold on to those moments to get me through the long and dreary days.
I hope you all have a joyful year and have found a way to focus your thoughts and energy into positive thinking! One sure way is to look to our Heavenly Father and bring praise every day and in every situation. the "sacrifice of praise". Cheers to another beautiful year!
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Four Daughters
Four daughters. Four precious little women. God has given me a huge task in giving me these four ladies. Raising four girls in an American culture that screams at them: DIET, EXERCISE, ORGANIC, GLUTEN-FREE, YOU'RE FAT, YOU'RE TOO SKINNY, DON'T EAT THAT. Not to mention the images of women that will be portrayed to them through media; magazines at the check-out counter, the internet, movies. And of course, the most influential and damaging of all, friends and family.
We love our family. Really and truly, we do! But even the most loving family member can say words that can injure a child, especially a female child. Some things that I have heard said to my children are, "You're too skinny, you need to eat more." "Look at your fat belly."
I then heard my child repeat those things about herself. "I'm fat." And I run in and try to do damage control. NO, you are NOT fat!! You are three-years-old!!
We live in a society obsessed with body types. Thick, thin, skinny, fat, obese. Any of these can be unhealthy.
For two years I lived in Mississippi, the "fattest of the fifty states". While living there I became disgusted with a culture of gluttony and all-you-can-eat buffets. Then I come back to living in Pennsylvania, and many of my Facebook friends are the complete opposite - super-skinny, gym obsessed females.
I am trying to teach my daughters that there is a happy medium between these two extremes. I try to feed my children healthy food, a variety of fruits, vegetables, meat, dairy, and grains. But we also eat fast food on occasion, and we eat something sweet after almost every dinner. Moderation is key.
Also, please don't pick yourself apart in front of my children. If you are really that concerned about your "chub" sticking out over your pants, do something about it. Don't mention it in front of my little girls. I have no desire to have my six-year-old stay in her size 6 pants. She is growing! She NEEDS to find that her clothes are too tight or too short so that she can grow appropriately into a young woman.
What are ways that you find helpful to raising daughters to have a healthy body image?
We love our family. Really and truly, we do! But even the most loving family member can say words that can injure a child, especially a female child. Some things that I have heard said to my children are, "You're too skinny, you need to eat more." "Look at your fat belly."
I then heard my child repeat those things about herself. "I'm fat." And I run in and try to do damage control. NO, you are NOT fat!! You are three-years-old!!
We live in a society obsessed with body types. Thick, thin, skinny, fat, obese. Any of these can be unhealthy.
For two years I lived in Mississippi, the "fattest of the fifty states". While living there I became disgusted with a culture of gluttony and all-you-can-eat buffets. Then I come back to living in Pennsylvania, and many of my Facebook friends are the complete opposite - super-skinny, gym obsessed females.
I am trying to teach my daughters that there is a happy medium between these two extremes. I try to feed my children healthy food, a variety of fruits, vegetables, meat, dairy, and grains. But we also eat fast food on occasion, and we eat something sweet after almost every dinner. Moderation is key.
Also, please don't pick yourself apart in front of my children. If you are really that concerned about your "chub" sticking out over your pants, do something about it. Don't mention it in front of my little girls. I have no desire to have my six-year-old stay in her size 6 pants. She is growing! She NEEDS to find that her clothes are too tight or too short so that she can grow appropriately into a young woman.
What are ways that you find helpful to raising daughters to have a healthy body image?
Monday, January 6, 2014
Caroline Rose
December 20, 2013 is a day to be remembered.
I woke up at about 5 am to take a shower, being sure to wash with Hibicleanse. Trent carried the girls out to the warmed up van in their pajamas and covered them with blankets. We were on the road by 6ish. We drove to Trent's parents house and dropped the sleepy big girls off to spend the day with Grandpa and Grandma.
Trent drove me to the hospital. We were very excited to meet our fourth baby and prayed for good health. We arrived at Women & Babies Hospital shortly before 7 am. My cesarean section was scheduled for 9 am. Check-in went smoothly and I waited patiently through the routine procedure.
I was very vocal about my previous negative experience with the spinal, and wanted to be sure that the same mistakes weren't made again. I talked with the anesthesiologist and he assured me they would do their best. Before I knew it they were ready for me to go to the operating room. Trent waited outside as I walked down the hallway into the operating room. As soon as he left my side I could feel myself start sweating. The walk down that hallways brought back a flood of memories regarding Magdalena's c-section.
As they prepared me for the spinal the nurse joked about the fact that I was sweating and I told her how nervous I was. Everyone was really fabulous and patient with me. She tried one spot and I could feel pressure on my spine. Instead of continually trying the same spot (which is what happened last time), she took the needle out. The doctor came and had me sit differently. Because of my scoliosis when I arch my back it made it more difficult to get a wide space in my spine, and it actually closed off a space that would normally be open. The doctor recognized this and adjusted my body accordingly. The nurse anesthetist was then able to get the spinal in with no problem. I was praising the LORD!
Trent came in and the surgery began. I felt like everything went much quicker this time than it did before. When they pulled the baby out one of the nurses said, "Ah, he's peeing! I mean - SHE's peeing. It's a girl!"
It was quite humorous because I was very confused as to the reference to "he". Even though we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl I was pretty sure we would have another girl.
Caroline Rose Hess entered the world at 9:09 am, was 19 inches long and weighed 4 pounds, 14 ounces. She is lovely and perfect.
Immediately after being born the NICU nurses who were in for the delivery began giving her oxygen. She had fluid in her lungs. They took her over to the NICU and Trent went with them. I went into recovery alone. As strange as it may seem, I was extremely grateful that I had a previous experience with a NICU baby. I was much more confident and sure of her safety than I was with Maggie.
Trent came back to recovery to give me a Caroline update and to call our family. First up were big sisters. Trent called his parents house and asked to talk to Anne.
Anne said, "What is it?"
He said, "Well, her name..."
And Anne excitedly said, "HER?!?!"
and Grandpa and Grandma (who were on speaker phone) said, "Her??"
Anne said, "Well, what is her name??"
Trent said, "Caroline Rose Hess."
Anne said, "Caroline.... what a nice name."
The girls were all excited to hear about their baby sister.
Trent also called my mom who was waiting very impatiently at work to hear the news! She contacted my dad and siblings for me. A little while later we put the announcement on facebook to spread the word more quickly.
I'll try to write more about our 10-day NICU stay on another post!
I woke up at about 5 am to take a shower, being sure to wash with Hibicleanse. Trent carried the girls out to the warmed up van in their pajamas and covered them with blankets. We were on the road by 6ish. We drove to Trent's parents house and dropped the sleepy big girls off to spend the day with Grandpa and Grandma.
Trent drove me to the hospital. We were very excited to meet our fourth baby and prayed for good health. We arrived at Women & Babies Hospital shortly before 7 am. My cesarean section was scheduled for 9 am. Check-in went smoothly and I waited patiently through the routine procedure.
I was very vocal about my previous negative experience with the spinal, and wanted to be sure that the same mistakes weren't made again. I talked with the anesthesiologist and he assured me they would do their best. Before I knew it they were ready for me to go to the operating room. Trent waited outside as I walked down the hallway into the operating room. As soon as he left my side I could feel myself start sweating. The walk down that hallways brought back a flood of memories regarding Magdalena's c-section.
As they prepared me for the spinal the nurse joked about the fact that I was sweating and I told her how nervous I was. Everyone was really fabulous and patient with me. She tried one spot and I could feel pressure on my spine. Instead of continually trying the same spot (which is what happened last time), she took the needle out. The doctor came and had me sit differently. Because of my scoliosis when I arch my back it made it more difficult to get a wide space in my spine, and it actually closed off a space that would normally be open. The doctor recognized this and adjusted my body accordingly. The nurse anesthetist was then able to get the spinal in with no problem. I was praising the LORD!
Trent came in and the surgery began. I felt like everything went much quicker this time than it did before. When they pulled the baby out one of the nurses said, "Ah, he's peeing! I mean - SHE's peeing. It's a girl!"
It was quite humorous because I was very confused as to the reference to "he". Even though we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl I was pretty sure we would have another girl.
Caroline Rose Hess entered the world at 9:09 am, was 19 inches long and weighed 4 pounds, 14 ounces. She is lovely and perfect.
Immediately after being born the NICU nurses who were in for the delivery began giving her oxygen. She had fluid in her lungs. They took her over to the NICU and Trent went with them. I went into recovery alone. As strange as it may seem, I was extremely grateful that I had a previous experience with a NICU baby. I was much more confident and sure of her safety than I was with Maggie.
Trent came back to recovery to give me a Caroline update and to call our family. First up were big sisters. Trent called his parents house and asked to talk to Anne.
Anne said, "What is it?"
He said, "Well, her name..."
And Anne excitedly said, "HER?!?!"
and Grandpa and Grandma (who were on speaker phone) said, "Her??"
Anne said, "Well, what is her name??"
Trent said, "Caroline Rose Hess."
Anne said, "Caroline.... what a nice name."
The girls were all excited to hear about their baby sister.
Trent also called my mom who was waiting very impatiently at work to hear the news! She contacted my dad and siblings for me. A little while later we put the announcement on facebook to spread the word more quickly.
I'll try to write more about our 10-day NICU stay on another post!
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