We are blessed beyond all measure to have Heidi as our daughter. The girls all (except Ruth 😉) say that they know they aren’t supposed to have a favorite sister, but Heidi is their favorite. While we hope for many more miracles in Heidi’s life, we foresee her being, what I lovingly refer to as, a “lifer”. Someone who will require lifelong care and guidance. Before adopting Heidi that term instilled a little fear in me. But God, in His goodness, has placed Heidi where she was meant to be. Her older sisters fight over who gets Heidi when they’re grown up. I pray they will continue in their fathomless love for her.
Heidi’s language comprehension has drastically improved in the past 6 months. She understands, I think, most of what we are saying. She absolutely understands when we ask simple requests of her (it doesn’t mean she will comply) but if she’s in a mostly good mood she will! If she’s doing something she’s not supposed to she gives us that side eyed look she’s famous for.
I had meant to write this blog when she was home exactly three years which was a couple weeks ago. I’m so glad I didn’t because I have the most incredible, miraculous update yet!
I had set the first 2 weeks of September clear of therapies and other appointments in order to potty train Heidi. The first week it was …. Everything in the underwear, on the floors all over the house, outside, pretty much everywhere but the potty. However, by Friday of the first week she definitely was feeling she had to go; we could tell because she was doing the typical potty dance. But she would NOT go on the potty. I let it go with much gentleness of spirit, gifted from the Holy Spirit. I went through the weekend discouraged after reading an article on toilet training children with developmental delays. On Tuesday of week 2 I had enough of her knowing she has to pee, me sitting her on the potty, her not going, then 5 minutes later peeing on the floor.
We battled it out. She sat with me holding her firmly but lovingly, constantly telling her I love her, she is safe, she’s smart, she’s capable. And finally, finally, she could hold it no longer and she peed. Yes, it got all over me and the floor. So what? It was a small price to pay for the victory. A second time Tuesday I had to force the same thing.
Wednesday. Miraculous of miraculous days! She peed on the potty with no qualms all day. She had 1 little dribble in her underwear but came to get me and she finished on the potty. And everyday since then she’s been dry all day with the exception of pooping. Always poop in her diaper at naptime or in her underwear. But I wanted to ride this wave of victory for a bit.
Then, tonight. She was at the piano looking almighty suspicious. Took her to the potty, still dry, no poop. She sat there: boom! Pooped on the potty like she’s been doing it her whole life. Now, I happened upon her at just the right moment. So, will it happen again? We hope so!
All this to say: Heidi has come SO far in three years. She goes to Sunday School when my sister, Audrey (she looooves Aunt Audrey) is teaching. She goes in the nursery at church. And while she’s not “typical”, she is Heidi, and that’s even better.
She was SO happy to have Chinese food the other day. It was really adorable watching her house the meal. Three years ago she couldn’t chew, or even suck a bottle or straw. She was a nearly 2-year-old infant. Those early days were so long and exhausting. I don’t think I would have believed it if someone would have told me where we are today.
Yes, she still has many things that are difficult for her. She can still get set off by certain things, but even that has improved drastically. Hearing a baby cry has always been a trauma trigger for Heidi. Hans has helped with that quite a bit. While it’s not perfect, we can often talk her through it so she does not self harm (scratching herself is what she does most often).
I have high hopes for the growth Heidi will experience having Hans as her little brother. I’m so amazed at how God knows exactly who we need in our families. It’s almost like He designed family. 😉
Heidi Grace, happy 3 years home! We love you more than you love ice cream and swings. Looking forward to the rest of our lives loving you.
