Bringing Home Sister Six

Last week we officially announced in social media world that we are adopting.... again. We were overwhelmed by the love and support we felt from everyone. It has been no secret that Ruth has changed our world and we are all better Hesses for having her in our lives. I'm sure it was not surprising for many of you to read that we are adopting again. It's also the main reason I haven't blogged here for six weeks. I've been working furiously on getting paperwork done before the new school year starts up!

To answer a few questions that have come up. Yes, another girl. While it may seem crazy to most of you, we really love being an all-girl (plus dad) family. Financially it makes sense because we won't be purchasing a whole extra wardrobe of boy clothes. I know, I know, the future weddings. But Trent and I got married super cheap and we've made our girls (even the littles) aware that weddings don't need to be a production, they need to last a lifetime. The humblest of beginnings can be the most beautiful marriages.

We are currently most of the way through the Home Study process. All our paperwork has been turned in, we just need to wait to have a social worker come out to the house two times. That will happen in August, then she will need to write up the Home Study. We should have the home study in our hands by early to mid-September. After we have the home study we can apply for the first part of immigration. That can take two weeks to come back or much longer. A friend just had her immigration approval take 79 long days. While we hope to be on the low end of that timeframe we believe that God will work out the timing perfectly to bring the exact girl meant to be a Hess into our lives at just the right time.

Once we have immigration approval, those items will also be included in our Dossier. We've also turned in all the paperwork for our Dossier that we can. So really, there's nothing for us to do right now but wait. (Trent laughs every time I say I have nothing to do...)

We would really hope that our Dossier would go to China in October or November. Much of that timing depends on how long papers take to come back which we have no control over.

Some of you have asked how long the process will be. We've been told roughly two years from application to going to China. That was about what we were told with Ruth, but it only took 17 months. While things have changed in China with the way children are matched into families, that may actually extend our wait and look closer to two years. However, we've also broadened the range and severity of special needs that our family is open to caring for, so that could shorten the wait time. Our reasoning behind this is that we are more confident being the parents of a child with special needs, and has nothing to do with the wait time. Our older biological daughters have been rather insistent on wanting another sister from China and have desired a particular special need that we hadn't considered before. See what God can do? Not only is he changing Trent and me, he is changing our girls. Our eyes have been opened, and so we must act.

What I've learned from my experience with adopting the first time, and with Ruth in particular, is that whether the time is long or short (in my mind) that the right girl for our family WILL have her file ready exactly when we are ready.

Some of you may know that Ruth joined a foster family just after her first birthday in China. The foster family was told she may only be with them for one month; that her file was nearly ready. A month came and went, still not ready. Two months, three months, four months, and more. Finally after nearly eight months, they received a text message saying, "Her family wants you to call her Ruth." After months of waiting on their end with no word, the way they learned she had been matched was my tentative message to our adoption agency politely asking if, since they speak English, they could call her Ruth or Ruthie so she is familiar with her name when we bring her home. The way that got translated to the Douglas family was less polite and more direct. "Call her Ruth". And just when her foster family visited they told us about a photo that we were later sent, of them holding Ruth up and they said, "Hello, Ruth. You have a forever family coming for you." And that photo came through to us on our 11th wedding anniversary.

Hello, Ruth!

You see, if Ruth's file had been made ready one month after she joined the Douglas family, we would not have been her family. Our paperwork hadn't gone to China until two months after she joined their family, and I don't know that we would have been mentally prepared to be matched any sooner than we were. God works out all the timing in the most beautiful and creative ways, and so we trust that He will do so once again.

We will certainly keep you updated on any progress or changes. And I'm always, always, always here and can make myself available to answer any questions you might have on how to get started on your own adoption journey. The need is great for families to come forward. With the law changes in China, after we adopt sister six we will no longer be able to adopt from China as we will exceed their child limit (at least until Anne is over 18, wink, wink). With that sadness also comes my expectation that God will raise up my friends and acquaintances to step up to care for these little ones who deserve families. Will you?