Tired

Can I just be honest here?

I'm freaking tired of this winter.

And I say that in the nicest way possible. I LOVE WINTER! I love the chance to slow down, to rest, to stay indoors.  I love snow. I love bundling the kiddos up to send them on their merry way to romp in the snow. I love wiping up the melted snow.

But now, I've had enough. I'm sick to death of that pile of winter clothes at my back door that is creeping into the living room. I'm tired of the puzzle pieces. I'm tired of Trouble. I'm sick of the endless papers and crayons and markers all over the place. I'm tired of stepping on blocks. I'm tired of nagging the kids to put their stuff away when they are done with it. I'm tired of teaching school. I'm tired of preparing meals. I'm tired of the dishes. I'm fed up with being inside.

I have found myself snapping at the kids; having a short fuse and getting irritated at every turn. I've found myself having curse words at the tip of my tongue because I'm just sick of it!

And you know what? I'm not the only one. The kids can feel it, too. They feel the monotony of this day-in and day-out life. My dear, sweet, girls who typically get along so well, have hit, squeezed, yelled, shouted nasty words, and cried all so far this morning. So right now, they are outside. I have to make lunch. I have to clean up the table from school. I have to pick up the puzzle pieces all over the place. I have to finish throwing away markers that don't work and crayons that are too small to use *on the sly, of course, because those little hoarder kids of mine WILL pull them out of the trash*.  And what am I doing? Ranting here on my blog.

Despite these weary days I have been experiencing, I know there are brighter days ahead. And I know that I have much to be grateful for.  Since I am an optimist by nature I don't often know what to do with negative feelings. So, here is my go at what I can do.

Choose joy.

Choose to be grateful.

Give thanks.

And now that I've vented my anger, I will do the above three things.

Choose joy: during school today Baby Carrie laughed. She smiled her sweet baby smile and had a nice little laugh at the /p/ sound.

Choose to be grateful: Baby Carrie sleeps ALL NIGHT, every night. She is pretty much the perfect baby. She is sweet and happy and a good sleeper. She hardly ever cries. I have done absolutely NOTHING to deserve this - I'm not a better mom than anyone else that I have such a lovely baby, so I can be grateful to God for her. I am grateful for our big house and yard. We have this amazing unfinished basement that I have sent the kids down in to ride tricycle when they just have too much energy and I can't take it anymore. I sent them down yesterday to blow bubbles. We have a great yard for the kids to run around in and dig holes and find worms and burn off energy. I have an amazing husband who supports our family Spiritually and financially. He is wonderful. I'm grateful for him.

Give thanks: I give thanks to my amazing God, author and perfecter of life. I would not be here but for His amazing grace, so I give Him thanks.

And just like that, my spirit is lifted. I think sometimes I focus too inwardly and begin to think selfishly. When I begin to do this, I get the "woe is me", "my life sucks" mentality. When I focus my eyes on Jesus, I too am lifted.

Now, I think I'll make lunch.