The year of Hope :: Explained

Friends, I've been holding out on you. I apologize. I'm terrible at keeping secrets and this is such a big one.

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But maybe you can guess.

I'm not getting enough sleep.

And I am going to lots of appointments.

And if you catch me on a good day you might say I'm glowing. (On not so good days I might be crying).

Friends, I am beyond thrilled to announce to you all that our family is growing.

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We are in the midst of mountains of paperwork and clearances, and FBI fingerprints, and birth certificates and more paperwork.

I cried when this came in the mail.

We are adopting!

This song has been one that has been really meaningful to me: No Longer Slaves // I am especially encouraged by the words "You split the sea so I could walk right through it". I have been praying for the "seas of paperwork" to split so we can walk right through. And I believe that is happening!

So this year, 2016: the year of Hope, our hope is focused on our adoption.

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I'm going to answer some of the questions that I've been asked so far.

1. Q. Where are you adopting from (domestic/international).
     A. We are adopting internationally from China.

Big sister, Caroline finding China on the globe

 2. Q. So you are you finally going to have a boy??
    A. No. Although there is a great need in China for families to adopt boys, after much prayer and consideration we have decided on another girl.

Just as the other girls kissed my belly when pregnant, Caroline is kissing "Little Sister" on the globe.

3. Q. How old will she be?
    A. We don't really know - probably about two years old when we bring her home.

4. Q. How long does it take?
    A. About two years. China has a very steady, predictable program, and the current time frame for girls is about two years. Based on that, we anticipate bringing our daughter home January, 2018.

These ladies are all so excited to have another sister! I'll need a new hashtag: #hessgirlsx5

5. Q. Do you have to go to China?
    A. Yes. We will go to China to bring our daughter home and will be out of the country for about two weeks.

6. Q. Why go to China when there are children in the United States who need families?
    A. This is a tough one. As many of you know we did foster care a few years ago. Not all children who are in foster care will be adopted, in fact, many of them won't. We felt that the back and forth (between visits to birth family and special appointments) was too difficult for our family and would rather settle in with one child who we can help to nurture and grow.

Maggie is a natural little Mommy. She's eager to meet her sister and prays for her and her birth mom.

7. Q. So you're adopting a healthy infant girl? (Actually this isn't usually a question because it is assumed).
   A. While this used to be the norm for China adoptions it is no longer the case.  In fact, there are more boys than girls who need families in China right now. And all the children who need families right now are special needs. Special needs may be something such as cleft lip, cleft palate, webbed fingers, or a birth mark. There are many other special needs many which are easily manageable and/or correctable.

Anything I missed? Please feel free to ask questions. I'm not politically correct so don't worry if you feel like you don't have the "right language" to ask. I'm happy to answer any questions you may have.

Enjoy this live version of Hillsong United singing "Oceans". Such a lovely song that has been an encouragement to me during this process so far.

{UN} Inhibitited

I'm not really much of a crier. I used to be, back when I was a tween and teen. I think I cried buckets at age 12. Thankfully those emotions settled significantly by the time I got married at 20.

Yesterday I was scrolling through Instagram hashtags, and I'm not exactly sure how I stumbled on it, but I came across a personal IG of a home school mom. She was sharing about her daughter who just turned 13 and how she has maintained so much of her innocence by being home schooled.

Friends, if you knew me, really knew me, back in high school I'm sure you find it extremely bizarre the way I am talking now. But I want to attempt to convey something that was so beautiful to me that it brought me to tears, like actual tears flowing from my eyeballs. At dinner last evening as I was explaining it to Trent I had to stop talking because I was sure I would start crying and not be able to stop.

First, let me just preface this by saying that home school is NOT for everyone. PLEASE do not take what I am going to say as a personal judgement against your decision for whatever schooling you have chosen for your children. I know so many people love the schools they are a part of, and I celebrate that with you! So please do not take my words in the wrong way. Instead, celebrate with me. All of us parents are just doing the best we can with what we have been given. Thanks! :)

As a middle and high schooler I had limited experience with kids who were home schooled. In general, I thought they were weird. I don't know where I got this idea but regardless, it was there. I had this preconceived notion that home school = weird. I didn't want weird; I wanted to fit in. However, when you are trying so hard to fit in with everybody else, you lose so much of who YOU are. I was constantly comparing myself to other girls, modeling my speech, hair, clothes, athletic ability, test scores, etc. against everyone else. If someone I thought was "cool" was taking photography, then I tried it, too. And here's the clincher, even if I had NO interest in the subject I would do it just to try to keep up and fit in with everyone else. It was exhausting. And it was not fun. Some of my worst grades in school came from taking classes I had zero interest in but signed up because "everyone else was doing it". Cliche, but true.

This week I have been slammed with several unexpected gifts of homeschooling. I'd love to share some of them with you!

1. Limited stress :: there is so much stress associated with school these days. I was talking with my former Kindergarten teacher a couple of weeks ago. She still teaches "Kindergarten" but what they now call Kindergarten is what used to be first grade. There is so much pressure to push kids forward into levels of thinking that they are NOT all ready for. When I was in Kindergarten, some children were not ready to move on to first grade, so they would go to this awesome thing called "Pre-First". I will be sharing more about this in a future blog post.... But with homeschooling, while I hold my children to high standards, they are not subjected to a lot of tests. My girls LOVE to learn, and I love to learn along side of them.

Abbey enjoying a game at the library.

2. Mornings :: I'm not a morning person. I don't have the worries of missing the bus. {Which I had loads of experience with all my life.} If one child needs to sleep a little later in the morning, I let her sleep. While I do try to stick to a schedule because I think it's good for the kids to have consistency, I do not hold to an exact time. Generally we like to start school at 9ish. However, today it was closer to 10.

This morning, when we all needed just a few more minutes in bed.

3. Children :: my children get to be children. They get to color and draw while I teach school. This helps them to be in their seats the whole time I need them to be. They get to go outside, run, and play. If they experienced a challenging math lesson they can take 10 minutes to clear their head by swinging outside or riding their bikes. It's wonderful.

Pretend sleeping in the bath.

4. Vacation :: we don't have to ask permission to take our children on vacation. We went to the beach after Labor day last year, the house rental was cheaper and the beaches were deserted. It was the best vacation we have ever had. Also, Trent and I went away to celebrate our 10th anniversary and we were able to leave the kids with his parents and, while I gave them some assignments to do while we were gone, I wasn't worried that they were getting behind and Trent's parents didn't have to worry about getting them to and from school.

The girls helping make dinner.

5. {UN} Inhibited :: my girls have the chance to be themselves. They are subject to little to no peer pressure. They are not bullied or teased {except occasionally by each other }. They have the opportunity to have their lives built firmly on the Truth of God's word. To me, this has been the best thing. My hope is that they are building such a firm foundation that when the time comes for them to go out into the world that they will not be swayed by peer pressure; that they will be so confident in who they are as children of God that it won't matter to them if others consider them to be a little "weird". I'm concerned that sometimes, as Christians, we look SO MUCH like the world that we are no longer distinguishable. I want to shine the bright hope that Jesus has to offer to our dark world. So, if when my girls are 13 and they still hardly wear shoes and they run in the woods and climb trees, then I will give God the praise for their freedom to be themselves. The freedom to not conform to the world or what the world expects a 13-year-old girl to be like. The freedom to express themselves through whatever THEY enjoy, not what they want others to think they enjoy.

Dance party craziness.

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely challenges that go along with this day-to-day job of home schooling. For me, for right now, the benefits far outweigh the costs.

Deuteronomy 11:18-21
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the LORD swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.