Abbey is Nine

My second born, Abbey, is nine! 

Celebrating on 4.18 at Grandpa and Grandma Hess's!

One of the most enjoyable things about being a parent of many daughters is just how different each child can be. For a long time, Abbey was a hard kid for me to parent. It seemed as if we were constantly butting heads. However, after a lot of dedicated hard work, endless prayers, lots of apologizing, and even some tears, I have found Abbey to be such an enjoyable girl to be around.

If you don't know my Abbey, I'll try to explain her complex personality. She has a dark and often dry sense of humor. This was very confusing to me to witness in her as a very young child. As she has grown and I've gotten to know her better, I realize that this is just her quick wit. Abbey is the quietest child we have, so when she speaks it's worth listening to hear what she has to say. It will either be hilarious or profound.

Abbey continues to thrive in nature. She is always the first to volunteer to help me with all types of gardening. Hiking is one of her favorite activities. Abbey is an expert tree-climber. It may surprise you that Abbey is also the first one to offer to help me in the kitchen. She recently helped me grate blocks of soap by hand for our first attempt at home made laundry soap. It was an activity that she found a lot of joy in accomplishing and was so proud when her clothes came out of the laundry smelling citrusy and fresh and knowing she had a hand it making that happen.

Abbey LOVES sweets. These triple layer brownies and ice cream did not disappoint! 

For her Daddy-Daughter date, Abbey and Trent went to Muddy Run and rented a canoe.

I loved hearing her story of attempting to get onto "Goose Island", an island covered with geese, only to realize that goose sitting placidly on the shore was actually sitting on a nest, and the gander came honking and flapping right at them as they attempted to quickly back paddle away from the angry dad. It will be a day she remembers for a long time. 

Best dad ever

Nine!

It has been so lovely to watch Abbey mature and grow over the years. While Abbey struggled for a long time to accept any major changes (moving, new siblings, etc.) it was a delight to see her quick love and acceptance for Ruthie. Beyond that, Abbey has been one of the most adamant siblings to suggest we add another Hess to the family. She has shown strength of character in her willingness to learn to be selfless. For most of us, especially those with a strong-will, it's a real challenge to put the desires of someone else above your own. Abbey has shown me that she has the desire to do this hard work.

Another celebration with Mema and cousins

Most importantly, Abbey has not had this growth without help. I have prayed for many years for Abbey's stubborn heart. Apologizing, admitting she was wrong, humbling herself, has always, always, been difficult for her. Just before Easter, while doing the Resurrection Eggs like we have for several years, a story that Abbey has heard countless times, resonated with her. The veil was lifted, her heart was changed. She prayed to ask Jesus into her heart, that he would walk with her always. And my friends! What a mighty God we serve! While her sinful tendencies crop up on her (like losing her temper and throwing something when she didn't immediately understand a math problem), through tears, before I even said anything, my girl apologized and asked forgiveness. 

This may seem small, but what a joyful breakthrough this was! I am so pleased to have Abbey as my daughter, as a daughter of the King, and as a sister in Christ. This child who used to say she would never get married because she'd rather live alone and have cats (I kid you not, this was her life goal), has said she would like to be married, to have children, and most especially to adopt. 

So happy ninth birthday, Abigail Frances. I love you!

Ruthie turns Three!

Our sassy Ruth has turned three.

 
When I think of all she has been through in her short life, it feels a little overwhelming. Yet as I look deeply into her timeline, I'm amazed at how God was working in her life. Ruth has people (literally) all over the world who love her. There have been many people who were part of her story for a short time but who made a tremendous impact on the trajectory her life took.

Today, I think of Ruth's birth family. Of the pain they must feel on this day as they think of the tiny, 4.5 pound baby they felt they could not raise. I think of the Ayis and orphanage staff with the responsibility of so many little ones; of the women there who give what love they can to the helpless babes in their care. I think of the orphanage director who saw tiny Ruthie failing to grow, and the choice she made to fly her 3 hours north to Beijing. I think of the community of ex-pats living in Beijing who have fostered many children, nurturing them, loving them, showing them what family looks like, before saying goodbye and sending them off to their forever families.

And most of all, I think of the Douglas family. I am thankful for their bravery to take in an 11 pound one year old who couldn't even roll over let alone sit up, stand or walk. The love they poured into Ruth for the year she lived with them changed her life forever. They nourished her body physically, but also emotionally. She went from a helpless one year old to a high spirited two year old who could not only roll over, but stand, walk, run and climb. We are honored to continue to call them our friends and maintain contact with them. Most of all, we look forward to their visit to the US this summer! What a joyful reunion it will be.

While we weren't there the day she was born, it didn't make the day any less special for all of us. To make up for lost time, Ruth celebrated her birthday multiple times throughout the week.

Sunday before her birthday my family stopped in after church for a quick pizza lunch, cupcakes and ice cream. My mom has traditionally purchased a Bitty Baby for all the granddaughters on their first birthday. Since Ruth wasn't home yet, she got her bitty baby this year. She's pleased as can be about this doll.

Wednesday night we celebrated with Trent's side of the family. Again, pizza and cake and ice cream. Ruth has really been enjoying the puzzle that Grandma gave her.

Flamingo outfit from Mema

Three!!

Taking care of baby

Cake at Grandpa and Grandma Hess's.

 Thursday, April 12 was her actual birthday, and we spent the morning at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. (More on that in a bit.) Trent took the day off work so we could both be at that appointment and Diane took care of the girls for me. CHOP gifted Ruth with a fisher price car with a mama and baby. She was pretty happy about this. When we got home from that appointment the doorbell rang and Trent had to sign for a package from China. Ruth's foster family sent her a card and a book.

height/weight check

 We at lunch at Miller's Twist at Reading Terminal Market with Phil Smoker, a friend of Trent's from elementary school! We hadn't seen him in quite awhile and it was good to catch up with him.

We didn't celebrate as a family Thursday night because Anne had softball practice so on Friday night we had more cake and ice cream. I think she's going to be very confused this week when it's Abbey's birthday.

sleepy ride home

For those interested in an update on Ruth's blood condition I'll try to explain what we learned. Ruth has a condition called Alpha Thalassemia, Hemoglobin H - Constant Spring Disease. She has only 1 (out of 4) working gene to make the alpha globin, which basically means she produces fewer red blood cells which makes her anemic. The Constant Spring portion of this disease is a more serious condition that leads to a more severe anemia which can lead to problems like a large spleen, gallstones, increased risk for infections, jaundice, and poor growth.

The good news from our appointment is that Ruth is doing really, really well right now. Her spleen was normal, her hemoglobin was 8.1 which was the highest we have seen it since we brought her home. Even operating on a low hemoglobin she has very normal energy levels for a three year old girl. She is to take a folic acid tablet daily, which isn't a big deal. We feel that we are in a good position as a homeschool family to help reduce her risk of contracting illnesses.

The only concerning news from the appointment is her small size. She isn't even on the growth chart. Ruth weighs 20.5 pounds and is 2 feet 7 inches tall. At this time, we are just to monitor her growth closely. As long as she continues on her own curve, we will be fine. If, however, she doesn't grow or drops off even more, we will need to give her blood transfusions to see if that helps.

There is nothing dietary that will fix her condition. And while normally when one is anemic the recommendation is to give an iron supplement, she actually has normal iron levels and we should avoid too much iron and iron fortified foods. We were also given a list of medications that she should not be given as they can cause her to become more anemic.

We were very happy with the care we received at CHOP. We will continue to follow up there, at this point every four months.

I have no doubt that Ruthie will do whatever she desires with her life. She is strong willed and full of personality. Currently her favorite thing (that we're trying to break her of) is to stick out her tongue at me when I tell her, "no". I made the mistake of laughing the first couple of times she did it, and now I'm paying for it. To avoid my scolding she has now started to act like she's trying to touch her tongue to her nose, not stick her tongue out at me.

She is a joy to have in our lives.

Happy 3rd birthday, Ruthie!!

Photo credit: my sistaaaa Stacy Parmarter Photography

April -Generosity

The month of April we stepped away from purchasing items for worthy non-profits and instead volunteered our time. 

I’m so glad a friend of mine (thanks, Jen!) told me about Feed My Starving Children  FMSC does food packaging of high nutrient food (Vitamins, Soy, Dried Vegetables, and Rice) at various sites throughout the US. The food that volunteers package is sent to many countries throughout the world and quite literally saves the lives of starving children. 

Abbey was very overcome by a photo of a Haitian girl who was starving; ribs sticking out, distended belly, sunken eyes. The next photo showed her after 8 months of daily nutrition from Feed My Starving Children. The girl is round faced, smiling, and (as Abbey said) adorable. In other words, healthy. 

The day was really enjoyable. It’s recommended kids 5 and up help. My mom came with the three oldest girls and me. I’m definitely glad my mom was there as it was helpful to have an adult with both Abbey and Maggie. 

This was while we were waiting for our instructions. 

Abbey sealed all the bags of food that our side of the table packaged. I held the bag still and she pressed and held the heat sealer. It got tiring after nearly 2 hours but she hung in there. 

Maggie and my mom worked together on the other half of the table. 

She also did a great job. Maggie is a hard worker and having my mom to encourage her was really special. 

Anne’s job was to weigh each bag after the ingredients were added to make sure they were between 380 and 400 grams. 

They were all tired and ready to sit down after their morning of work. This is definitely something I would like to do every year. It was so encouraging to see some friends there, as well as youth groups, and families. I’m going to try to engage my competitive nieces and nephews to join us next year to see how many boxes we can fill. Our group filled 20 boxes, each box contains 36 bags of food, so we did a total of 720 meals. 

At the end of our packing time the organizers shared that we packed enough food to feed 84 children for an entire year. It was a memorable experience for all of us. 

Feed My Starving Children

March - Generosity

In March the girls and I focused on an organization called Thrive and Grit. Megan was a friend of mine in high school. Below is part of her story and a little about the organization. 

From thriveandgrit.org  “Megan and Jacquelyn are sisters who were born and raised in Lancaster PA.  Megan was diagnosed with breast cancer just 5 days after her 30th birthday in December of 2016.  Only 9 months after giving birth to her beautiful baby boy, her diagnosis is considered pregnancy related. Jacquelyn and Megan both immediately felt a sense of community as so many around them reached out and shared their amazing stories and experiences. They were inspired to help other women by creating awareness, assisting with prevention, supporting those battling, and donating to research.”

Part of what they do is support community women who are battling breast cancer. They provide them with care packages full of comforting items. The girls and I worked together to purchase things off their list of desired items. 

Things like journals, leggings, blankets, and tea are just a few on their list. 

It’s just a small way for us to give to support women going through what will likely be the most challenging time in their life. It felt especially good to support Thrive and Grit because I’m raising little women. I’m sure everyone reading this can name multiple women they know who have had breast cancer and recognize the reality that it could be me or one of my girls going through it. 

2 Corinthians 9:6-7 ESV “The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

I’m so grateful for these girls who give joyfully. It is my hope that this year of generosity will stay with them for their entire lives.