For Such a Time as This?

If you have a moment, grab a cup of coffee and your Bible and read ALL of the book of Esther. It's not that long. And if you don't have time, just continue on with me. A few nights ago I painted this water color using a small portion from Esther 4:14 "for such a time as this".

The full text reads (NIV) Esther 4:14
"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?"

As I was painting the border I originally planned to make a pretty wreath of greens and flowers. But then I got to thinking about the verse and about what it represented. Esther was just going along, doing what she was told to do/knew how to do/was encouraged to do. So I went with the green border to represent the every day events. And wrapped the green around and around the words. And then gently placed the purple among the green. There is much less purple than green. Because the purple is the "big" stuff. And we may not do a whole lot of big stuff in our lives. For Esther, Providence placed before her an opportunity to do something big. It was right there in front of her. She needed the encouragement to do what needed to be done.

Just yesterday a friend shared a blog post about cherishing the moments and enjoying the things our kids do when they are little. And the blogger had gorgeous photos to accompany her post. All the photos showed her children doing the things she mentioned, (running around in a diaper, reading books in a tent, playing on the couch) yet in a pristine, spotless home. No toys or books on the floor. Everything perfectly shelved and clean. She writes about letting the dirty dishes wait, but she doesn't show them to us. She shows these impressive, beautiful hardwood floors that were certainly just scrubbed.

Certainly not an Esther.

 And friends, let me just be real with you right now. Yesterday was just plain rotten. One particular child woke up too early. Again. And this child can get downright vicious with her words. We did not make a pretty picture. There was fighting, arguing, slamming doors, crying, children sprayed by the hose, more crying. We were a broken mess.

We have this monstrosity in our living room because my neighbor hates me loves my kids.



I have laundry still not folded.

 

I have these flowers that have been on my window sill (dead) for a week.



I have a shoe rack that can't keep shoes on it.



I have a counter that won't stay clean.



Friends, I am no Esther. I'm not doing anything big. I am messing up on a regular basis. I'm sorry if I have given you the impression that my life is perfect, because it certainly is not. Yes, I love my kids, and they are a joy (most of the time). But can I just be really honest right now? I will NOT miss days like yesterday. I won't. I don't cherish the time my child told me she hates me.

A brief, joyful moment from yesterday.

Don't get me wrong. I love, love, love my kids. And I try my best to find joy in each day. But I don't feel (too) guilty when I finally get those kids in bed and thank God that the day is over. I AM grateful that today is a new day, and we can show each other grace and move on from the place we were yesterday. But will I miss yesterday? No, I don't think I will.

 

 Okay, fine, I'll miss this.