Abbey is Eleven!

Abbey is eleven today! We had a great day. We started out by remembering the day she was born. Her favorite part is how strong she was as a newborn, lifting her head up and looking around. 

(April birthday twins)

The day wasn’t what we had originally planned but it was still good. She had hoped to attend the Rawlinsville Auction with Trent and Anne and Maggie. However, that was cancelled because of the virus. We still had a lovely day. French toast for breakfast, ham & cheese sandwich for lunch, and burgers on the grill and a peanut butter cheesecake for dessert. Abbey almost always chooses burgers for her birthday meal and it’s become tradition that our first time using the grill is for her birthday. 

(Not quite 11 candles but she got them all out in one go, but refused to tell her wish.) 

Abbey is an amazing girl. She is very strong physically. She can do lots of chin ups and climb tall trees. She is also growing spiritually. She accepted Jesus two years ago now, and last year she read the entire Bible cover to cover in one year. She is very intelligent, still working an entire grade level above her age. And books. Abbey loves, loves, loves to read. 

One of the things I love most about Abbey is her sense of humor. She is so funny. So much fun to be around. She is a good friend to her sisters and her friends at church. 

Abbey is really patient and persistent. She is very good at delayed gratification. She is good at saving money. She started calling it “moolah” as a joke and now Ruthie will only refer to dollars as moolah. Abbey will always eat her dessert slowly. If there is cookie dough in the ice cream she’ll save all the pieces for the end. Or marshmallows in cereal; she’ll collect them outside if her bowl and organize them, then put them all in her mouth at once. 

I have loved watching Abbey take on more responsibility with her younger sisters, especially Heidi. Abbey is usually the first kid awake in the morning and as soon as she hears Heidi in her room will run to get her. The bond between them is truly special. 

While she hated taking piano lessons I thought she was quite good. Caroline has a keen desire to play and a natural God-given talent. However, as she advances to harder songs without a teacher, Abbey has stepped into that role to show her where to put her hands and how to play the notes. Just this morning Abbey was holding Heidi and Carrie wanted help on the piano. I tried to take Heidi but Heidi only wanted Abbey. So Abbey put Heidi on one hip and used her other hand to show Caroline how to play the part she was having trouble with. It was so awesome to see. 

I see a particular love of children in Abbey. Not only a love but a true knack for caring for them and extreme tenderness and compassion for children without a home. Abbey was the most insistent of all the kids that we adopt a second time and when Heidi was home only one month she was already pushing for another sibling. 

Abbey also loves animals. While she doesn’t particularly care to feed and water the chickens she does seem to love watching the ducks play in their baby pool and is always glad to see bigger dogs. She would desperately love to have a big outdoor dog to romp through the woods with and to follow her around outside. Somehow our five pound chihuahua just isn’t the same as a good sheep dog, or blue heeler, or retriever, or maremma, or anything else “fun”. She would take a bunny if we weren’t willing to get a dog. I guess 1 dog, 1 hamster, 1 pig, 4 ducks, and 14 chickens aren’t enough. 

(Big fat toad)

(Is this really necessary??)

I took Abbey and Anne to the March for Life in DC back in January. I believe it was really pivotal in her life. She was very moved by the speakers and, while she would have liked for there to be less walking (truly, an exhausting day!), it was powerful for her to see the people there and hear stories from abortion survivors. We had a lot of good conversations before and after the March. I think it will be something she always remembers. I thought it was really neat to see what she chose to put on her poster. Her sister’s footprints in the shape of a heart. Knowing that kids with special needs are often aborted struck her deeply as she has so much love and compassion for her all her sisters, but especially the ones who were adopted. The thought that their lives would not exist is horrifying. I’m so glad she got to experience this!

I can’t wait to see where Abbey, following God’s direction, will go. She doesn’t have a clear destination in mind like some of our other kids, but that’s ok. I think it may help her to follow the Lord’s leading more closely. 

Her loot! A new bike basket, earring making kit, Frozen II soundtrack, a necklace from her sister, overalls, Ember’s End, hand-sewn treasures from Ruthie and Carrie, and a Swiss Army knife. What more could a girl want?? 

Happy 11th birthday, Abigail Frances. You are a joy and delight. I can’t wait to take you out for coffee (or whatever super sweet drink you order) once the virus is over. I forgot to beg for my birthday selfie with you. Maybe some year you’ll love having your photo taken, but until then, thanks for humoring me when I beg, and for the funny faces in between. 

Seven Months Home with Heidi

This month our activities and appointment schedule got slashed to next to nothing due to the Coronavirus. In some ways this was a nice break for all of us. After just one week of missed therapies Heidi moved to tell-therapy for speech and OT. As you can imagine, it’s less effective for a two-year-old who functions at about 12-18 months to look at a computer screen or phone for an hour twice a week. 

However, despite those challenges her therapists have given me several more ideas to try to teach her here at home. And it’s been pretty good! 

Heidi used her hand to turn the light switch off. She tried to open the back door by prying her fingers in the crack and pulling. She was getting into the school trash and pulling papers out and throwing them. We feel her curiousness is increasing her cognition. She’s beginning to truly explore the world around her and thereby meet new milestones. 

(So mad she can’t get the door open) 

One thing we wanted to see last month was her begin to throw a ball. Heidi surprised us all by choosing a heavier object (plastic rain stick) to throw. She thought it was hilarious. 

We wanted her to use her front teeth to take actual bites of food and we met success by giving her a hershey chocolate bar. I would hold the square and she would bite down. I guess she just needed proper motivation and this girl loves sweets! Later in the month she bit and chewed a hard cracker and a goldfish. She also had a piece of toast for breakfast. Unfortunately all these things must happen when Heidi wants them to. If she’s not in the mood she will absolutely refuse to bite or chew anything. 

She is started to respond to some commands. Anne said, “Heidi, give me a hug,” and Heidi ran to her and hugged Anne’s leg. Anne then said, “I’ll pick you up now,” and Heidi raised her arms to be lifted. When I take her to change her diaper I say, “Give me a diaper,” and she picks one up and throws it. Still working on the hand off. 

(I find lots of Heidi+Anne selfies on my phone)

Heidi loves pictures of babies. I pointed to a picture of the baby on her wipes container and said, “baby”. Heidi looked where I pointed (she’s getting good at this!) and said “ba-ba”. 

Heidi was upset about something and hit herself on the head. I saw her and just said, “Heidi.”  She instantly stopped hitting herself and ran into my arms for comfort. This really is a huge thing for our family. The fact that Heidi trusts us enough to provide real comfort to her is truly wonderful. 

(Sometimes Heidi wants Abbey instead of mama. I’m not mad about it.) 

Heidi is saying “dada” much more consistently and with real understanding since Trent started working from home. Not only will she say it on command, but she heard Trent talking in the other room and she said “dada”. While we would love to have her repeating more words, she does a lot of babbling and chattering. I think she will eventually have quite a bit to say to the world. 

(Current co-workers) 

We would like to see Heidi start to pick up her food and feed herself. I feel that she could do it if she wants but she can be a little stubborn. It does seem to stress her out when I push her too hard to try to feed herself. However, just today we have had success with semi hand-over-hand feeding. She really hates for me to manipulate her hands to do what we want them to do. But today I provided just the smallest amount of guidance for her to pick up her spoon and put it in her mouth. We had a lot of cheering when she did this. The other problem is that it is so slow and time consuming for her to feed herself. However, that shouldn’t always be the case. 

Another thing we started this past week is sensory brushing. We brush her back, arms and legs for about one minute every two hours. We are supposed to do this for two weeks. The goal is that this will reset her central nervous system and help her make strides in her sensory processing (especially her hands). Here is an article if you’re interested in learning more. 

Sensory Processing article

(More Heidi+Anne selfies)

Heidi is sleeping much better than last month. She is still often awake once in the night but not every night. We added a sound machine and a night light. We removed the crib completely from her room so she only has the toddler bed. She is now getting out of bed sometimes to play with a toy or throw all her diapers on the floor. But those are all appropriate actions for her to reach the next developmental stage. 

(Heidi grabbing a diaper for me)

Sometimes I do get discouraged at the seeming slowness of our progress. Thankfully I have friends and family who remind me of just how far we’ve come. 

I can’t get enough of her in this little bonnet and dress. She was so sweet this morning and loved the bonnet. Happy seven months home, happy Heidi! We love you!

Ruthie is FIVE!

Ruth turned five today. I don’t know how many times over the coming years her birthday will coincide with Easter Sunday, but I can almost guarantee she won’t have another birthday like this one. A day meant to be at church, with family and friends, but because of Covid-19 we were just at home. No big party, no egg hunt with all the cousins, none of our regular traditions. We worshipped in our living room to our church’s lovely prerecorded singing and sermon. Thankfully Ruthie didn’t care at all!

She received a beautiful video message from her foster family in China. She got birthday songs and an Easter basket, donuts for breakfast, and all the screen time she wanted. She opened her presents before dinner. She was SO happy that she finally got her own sewing box. It’s a Hess family tradition to get a stocked sewing box when you turn five. She’s delighted to have her own. She also got a CD player with the Frozen soundtrack and an Elsa piggy bank. 

She requested tacos for dinner. Not a traditional Easter meal, but it was well enjoyed. 

She asked for this rainbow cake which I wasn’t thrilled about at first. Thankfully a friend of mine made one for her daughter last week and she gave me lots of helpful tips. It still took me much of the day Saturday to make, but it was worth it. She was very happy with her cake. 

So Ruth. What to say about Ruthie?

She is full of love, light, energy, and words. So, so many words. Ruth is a very brave girl. She has had surgeries, an unexpected hospital stay, a blood transfusion, tons of regular doctor appointments, weekly speech therapy and honestly, she rarely complains. Ruth has to work harder than any of our other kids to be understood. Sometimes I get frustrated at having to remind her for the 100th time that day to add in a sound that she knows how to say, or to ask her to repeat herself, or to slow down her speaking so I can get what she’s saying. But how much more frustrating must it be for her? She really does work hard and I’m so proud of her. Just a couple weeks ago she added the /k/ sound to her bank of sounds she can say. She doesn’t always remember to use it in conversation but with reminders can say it. 

Ruth is very clever. She has a huge vocabulary, loves everything art, excels at card and board games (I’m not talking Chutes & Ladders, I’m talking Blokus and Dutch Blitz), she’s halfway through Kindergarten math, can read a few words, and knows most of the alphabet (p, b, and q are still tripping her up). 

Ruth loves having Heidi has her little sister. Ruth is very good at comforting Heidi when she is sad. She is very compassionate and that is a side of Ruth we didn’t really see much of until she became a big sister. Ruth does like having a sister from China. Even though I don’t think they look alike at all, Ruth likes that they both have black hair and brown eyes. 

We are so thankful to have Ruth as a special part of our family. She has changed all of us so much and we cannot imagine our lives without her in it! She is an inspiration to everyone. 

She is very sassy. One of her favorite current phrases is to say, “Yeah, but who cares?”. We all get a kick out of hearing her dismissive words. 

Ruth and Caroline are still BFFs. Although I’m seeing Caroline be more adventurous this Spring and Ruth still hanging back inside the house with me and Heidi. Today Ruth told Caroline that they were twins but don’t tell anyone because they won’t be able to tell them apart (they were wearing matching outfits). Carrie said they don’t look alike but that’s okay because some real twins don’t look alike. 

(16 months apart: Practically identical)

Ruth would like to stop taking a nap, but for everyone’s sanity, she will continue on with a daily nap for as long as possible. She asks how old her sisters were when they stop napping and wonders if now that she is five if she is big enough. She did tell me today that her sisters don’t have a blood condition so maybe that’s why they could stop naps. If she stays awake until 3 pm she is quite unhappy. I try to lay her down between 2 and 2:30. Everyday she asks the same question, “Can I just take a short nap?” And I always tell her, “Yes,”. It doesn’t matter that she always sleeps between 2 and 2.5 hours because she can’t tell if she’s been asleep for minutes or hours. She also asks if Caroline is going to nap and without fail I lie to her and say Carrie will lie down or rest in the other room. I probably shouldn’t lie but I don’t know how to break it to her without ruining her ever-important naps that Carrie hasn’t napped for a year. 

Ruth is an amazing little girl. Her small stature (3 feet and 26 pounds) doesn’t hold her back from much of anything.  She runs, jumps, roller skates, climbs trees, rides a balance bike and so much more. 

(Isn’t she gorgeous in her dress for Chinese New Year back in Jan?) 

She is a light in our lives. I can’t imagine not having our little firecracker in our lives! We can’t wait to do all the fun birthday things like date with dad, coffee with mom, weekend with Mema, and your Elsa party! 

Happy fifth birthday, Ruthie. We love you! More than you love “moolah”.