Heidi is 3 (and 3 Months)

Three and three months!

 

I'm not typically this delayed in posting, yet here we are. Back in November, our baby turned three! 

 

Sweet girl

While Heidi is not a “typical learner” she is a learner. We are so thrilled to see her progress in many ways.

 

Sisters make the best friends!

Heidi is nearly caught up to the physical skills of a three year old. She is running, jumping, climbing, kicking a ball, going up an down stairs independently, and so much more. She still has a tiny delay in this area but it's so small I have no personal concerns about her ability to catch up.

She still has significant delays in her fine motor skills. This is not surprising to us as her parents. If you recall, when Heidi came home at just about two years old, she could not hold anything in her hands for more than a second or two. What she could hold she didn't know what to do with. There was so much lack of exposure to developmentally appropriate toys and a constant caregiver that she was stuck in an infant stage. She is now scribbling (on walls) on paper, drawing circles and lines, she can play with toys, pick up light toys and heavy toys, she can throw a ball, stack a few blocks (current least favorite activity), put pegs into holes, and more. She just learned to pull her own pants up and it's very hilarious. Tonight for the first time she pulled her zipper on her jammies up independently. She is right around 16-18 months for her fine motor skills which is about the length of time she has been home. I am very content with her growth in this area.

Baby and daddy

Heidi is making small gains in speech and communication as well. She seems to understand much of what we say, but does not always respond. Heidi is very motivated by music. She loves songs and has words for several of her favorites: ta-ta is Twinkle Twinkle, ehh is Ants go Marching (I don't always catch this the first time she says it so she will follow it up with drumming like we do for the song but we're working on the sign for ant). She is finally, finally starting to request what she wants. When you live your first two years in a place where you do not receive anything unless someone gives it to you, you don't even know that you CAN ask for what you need. I was so excited one day she brought me her water bottle and signed water. It was empty and she was asking for water! This may seem so insignificant for a three year old to ask for water, but it was ground breaking for us. She went to the laptop where she normally has speech therapy, and said, “Ta-Ta”. She wanted to watch the Twinkle Twinkle song her therapist plays her. She knew the laptop was a place to get the song she likes. She will go to the door and say “out” when she wants to go outside (although she has no desire to be outside now that it's snowing). We still give Heidi many, many prompts throughout the day, “Can you tell me what you want?”, “Use your words”, “Can you show me?”. When prompted she often can respond appropriately, if she's in the mood. 

 

Ruthie comforting Heidi

Heidi's favorite animal is a horse. One of the most exciting things she did recently was make a connection in her brain. I compare Heidi's learning style to a light. Some kids get those instant light bulb connections, right? But Heidi's light is on a dimmer switch. Slow and steady progress leads to her light turning on. It was such a surprise to me when I did see her have a light bulb moment. We were reading a book and I showed her the horse, pointed to the horse, said horse, told her to say horse. She did what I asked, then got so excited. She jumped off my lap, ran to her bed, and picked up the toy horse. I praised her mightily, telling her yes, that's a horse! 

 

Heidi's OT gave her this horse for her birthday

Then she ran back to me, climbed up on my lap and over my shoulder to look out her window. She was watching for a horse and buggy. She was saying “horse!” and hitting the window, and it was so incredible to see her connect all of those things together. A picture, a toy, and a real animal all are horse and all represent the same thing. She hasn't made as firm connections with other things just yet, but I know the day is coming.

Snapchat filters with Mema make her laugh - this was the colored lips - couldn't stop laughing!

She can follow a one-step command, but most of the time it has to be something we have already taught her. For example: Throw this in the trash. Put the blocks in the container. We often shorten the commands after saying the full sentence. “Put the blocks in the container.” Is shortened and repeated a couple times with “Put in. Put in.” We model it for her, then sometimes need to hand over hand do the again with her, then she can do it alone. But, she is three, so sometimes she just plain doesn't want to do what we ask so there is weeping and throwing of fits. 

 

She started to feed others - so cute!

While all of these things tell you what Heidi can do, they don't tell you who Heidi is. Heidi is so, SO special. She loves to laugh. She loves to be held, and to swing, and to jump on her trampoline.. She is obsessed with her Na-Na (Anne) and will fall on the floor crying if she dares walk past her without picking her up. Heidi loves when Ruth sings to her to calm her down. As music lovers, Heidi can often be found in the office with Carrie, begging for her to play Twinkle, or just pounding away on the piano together. Heidi loves to pull at Maggie until she picks her up. She likes Dada to throw her up high. She likes Mama to rock her before bed. Heidi loves to stare at Petey. As soon as she gets to my mom's house on Sunday afternoons she loves to run at her dog Lucy and clap to make her bark. She loves Uncle Ramon's beard (and Brandon's beard, and Andrew's beard, and daddy's beard... well, just in general she loves beards. If you have a beard she will want to sit on your lap and touch your beard. Sorry.).

Loving her cousin, Brandon's beard

 Heidi loves to be tick-tocked (turned upside down and swung gently by the legs) and tickled and chased. Heidi loves horsey rides and thinks Abbey gives the best (most dangerous-looking ones in mom's eye) ones.

Crazy horse rides with Abbey

We are very proud of the strides Heidi has made in all areas since she came home. There are still many struggles that we work through with her as the trauma of her early life has hurt her deeply. People who are unfamiliar with trauma may not really understand what this looks like and we are, admittedly, still learning. We believe it quite likely that she experienced a traumatic birth. Her first birthday with us we didn't understand what was happening to her on her birthday. She hated it. She screamed and cried and was overwhelmed. Her body was physically shaking like she was trying to avoid hypothermia. We thought maybe it was sensory overload, or the time change (Daylight Savings), or the first cold snap was bothering her. The more we learned about trauma and the effects on the body, the more her symptoms pointed to this.

 

Birthday "twins" 10 years + 1 day apart

When she turned three I tried very hard to keep our day as normal as possible. She had a certain point in the day where, again, her body was shaking uncontrollably. We wrapped her tight in a blanket and held her in front of our fireplace. We still went to be with Trent's parents as we always do on Tuesdays and she held herself together for much of the evening. However, when it came time to open a small gift she had silent tears pour down her cheeks. She began crying in earnest and we went home. I held her tight and rocked her until she finally was calm again. We don't know what future birthdays will look like, but it's possible she may never enjoy her actual birthday. We have learned that talking about what she is feeling may help. Since she still is mostly non-verbal, we hope that she will gain the language needed to help her process what her body is going through. We are thankful that we have the advantage of years of psychiatrists attempting to understand and help heal the brains of people who have gone through significant traumas. 

 

Sweetest Snugglers

Most of all, we are thankful we have a God who is the ultimate healer. While we recognize our complete healing will not happen until we reach Heaven, we do believe He can provide significant healing in Heidi's body, mind, and soul. He is good. 

 

She brings joy to my heart!