Since we are doing some fundraising for the adoption of sister six, I feel it is only fair to offer numbers for those who are generously donating their hard earned dollars.
Adoption costs are not something most adoptive parents like to talk about. However, it only seems right to show others how a normal family like ours can "afford" to adopt.
Ruth's adoption cost was $35,000, including our two and a half weeks of travel in China. We received $5,000 in grants, $10,000 from family and friends through donations and fundraisers, and paid the remaining $20,000 out of our income/savings. A large portion of what we paid came from my sign painting business which I closed after Ruth came home.
We anticipate that sister six's adoption will be right around the same amount, perhaps a little less since we do receive a small discount on our homestudy fee and some of the paperwork we do not need to purchase a second time.
So far we have paid $4,700 in fees. We recently received a $1,000 donation for which we are tremendously grateful. That will pay for our immigration fee (around $700) and the cost to certify and authenticate all our documents for our Dossier which will go to China.
After we are matched we will have a large bill, around $12,500 and then a few months later we will pay our travel fees which will likely be around $10,000.
We are currently selling t-shirts from Bonfire. The more shirts we sell the higher dollar amount per shirt we receive. If shirts aren't your thing, I am also planning a silent auction of my hand-painted signs (including FIVE custom signs) and canvas prints and framed photographs from my sister, Stacy's, gorgeous landscape photography. The silent auction will be all done online and will hopefully take place in late September or early October (so you can give these as Christmas gifts).
If at any time you feel led to give a donation directly please send me a message and I'll let you know how you can do that.
We also will plan on hosting an event at some point. Plans are still in the works for this, but I'll be sure to keep you updated.
Now, where are we in the process? We just finished our last homestudy visit! Hooray! Our social worker is aiming to have our homestudy written by the end of August! After that is officially done, we will send it and some other documents to receive immigration approval. While it's hard to say how long all these things will take to come through, we are cautiously optimistic that our Dossier will go to China in October. At that point, we will wait to be matched!
We appreciate all of you. Some people do not receive as much support for a second adoption as they do for their first but we must have the best friends and family in the world because we've felt that everyone is even more supportive and excited this time around.
Thanks, everyone, for your continued support!
Wednesday, August 15, 2018
Sunday, July 22, 2018
Bringing Home Sister Six
Last week we officially announced in social media world that we are adopting.... again. We were overwhelmed by the love and support we felt from everyone. It has been no secret that Ruth has changed our world and we are all better Hesses for having her in our lives. I'm sure it was not surprising for many of you to read that we are adopting again. It's also the main reason I haven't blogged here for six weeks. I've been working furiously on getting paperwork done before the new school year starts up!
To answer a few questions that have come up. Yes, another girl. While it may seem crazy to most of you, we really love being an all-girl (plus dad) family. Financially it makes sense because we won't be purchasing a whole extra wardrobe of boy clothes. I know, I know, the future weddings. But Trent and I got married super cheap and we've made our girls (even the littles) aware that weddings don't need to be a production, they need to last a lifetime. The humblest of beginnings can be the most beautiful marriages.
We are currently most of the way through the Home Study process. All our paperwork has been turned in, we just need to wait to have a social worker come out to the house two times. That will happen in August, then she will need to write up the Home Study. We should have the home study in our hands by early to mid-September. After we have the home study we can apply for the first part of immigration. That can take two weeks to come back or much longer. A friend just had her immigration approval take 79 long days. While we hope to be on the low end of that timeframe we believe that God will work out the timing perfectly to bring the exact girl meant to be a Hess into our lives at just the right time.
Once we have immigration approval, those items will also be included in our Dossier. We've also turned in all the paperwork for our Dossier that we can. So really, there's nothing for us to do right now but wait. (Trent laughs every time I say I have nothing to do...)
We would really hope that our Dossier would go to China in October or November. Much of that timing depends on how long papers take to come back which we have no control over.
Some of you have asked how long the process will be. We've been told roughly two years from application to going to China. That was about what we were told with Ruth, but it only took 17 months. While things have changed in China with the way children are matched into families, that may actually extend our wait and look closer to two years. However, we've also broadened the range and severity of special needs that our family is open to caring for, so that could shorten the wait time. Our reasoning behind this is that we are more confident being the parents of a child with special needs, and has nothing to do with the wait time. Our older biological daughters have been rather insistent on wanting another sister from China and have desired a particular special need that we hadn't considered before. See what God can do? Not only is he changing Trent and me, he is changing our girls. Our eyes have been opened, and so we must act.
What I've learned from my experience with adopting the first time, and with Ruth in particular, is that whether the time is long or short (in my mind) that the right girl for our family WILL have her file ready exactly when we are ready.
Some of you may know that Ruth joined a foster family just after her first birthday in China. The foster family was told she may only be with them for one month; that her file was nearly ready. A month came and went, still not ready. Two months, three months, four months, and more. Finally after nearly eight months, they received a text message saying, "Her family wants you to call her Ruth." After months of waiting on their end with no word, the way they learned she had been matched was my tentative message to our adoption agency politely asking if, since they speak English, they could call her Ruth or Ruthie so she is familiar with her name when we bring her home. The way that got translated to the Douglas family was less polite and more direct. "Call her Ruth". And just when her foster family visited they told us about a photo that we were later sent, of them holding Ruth up and they said, "Hello, Ruth. You have a forever family coming for you." And that photo came through to us on our 11th wedding anniversary.
You see, if Ruth's file had been made ready one month after she joined the Douglas family, we would not have been her family. Our paperwork hadn't gone to China until two months after she joined their family, and I don't know that we would have been mentally prepared to be matched any sooner than we were. God works out all the timing in the most beautiful and creative ways, and so we trust that He will do so once again.
We will certainly keep you updated on any progress or changes. And I'm always, always, always here and can make myself available to answer any questions you might have on how to get started on your own adoption journey. The need is great for families to come forward. With the law changes in China, after we adopt sister six we will no longer be able to adopt from China as we will exceed their child limit (at least until Anne is over 18, wink, wink). With that sadness also comes my expectation that God will raise up my friends and acquaintances to step up to care for these little ones who deserve families. Will you?
To answer a few questions that have come up. Yes, another girl. While it may seem crazy to most of you, we really love being an all-girl (plus dad) family. Financially it makes sense because we won't be purchasing a whole extra wardrobe of boy clothes. I know, I know, the future weddings. But Trent and I got married super cheap and we've made our girls (even the littles) aware that weddings don't need to be a production, they need to last a lifetime. The humblest of beginnings can be the most beautiful marriages.
We are currently most of the way through the Home Study process. All our paperwork has been turned in, we just need to wait to have a social worker come out to the house two times. That will happen in August, then she will need to write up the Home Study. We should have the home study in our hands by early to mid-September. After we have the home study we can apply for the first part of immigration. That can take two weeks to come back or much longer. A friend just had her immigration approval take 79 long days. While we hope to be on the low end of that timeframe we believe that God will work out the timing perfectly to bring the exact girl meant to be a Hess into our lives at just the right time.
Once we have immigration approval, those items will also be included in our Dossier. We've also turned in all the paperwork for our Dossier that we can. So really, there's nothing for us to do right now but wait. (Trent laughs every time I say I have nothing to do...)
We would really hope that our Dossier would go to China in October or November. Much of that timing depends on how long papers take to come back which we have no control over.
Some of you have asked how long the process will be. We've been told roughly two years from application to going to China. That was about what we were told with Ruth, but it only took 17 months. While things have changed in China with the way children are matched into families, that may actually extend our wait and look closer to two years. However, we've also broadened the range and severity of special needs that our family is open to caring for, so that could shorten the wait time. Our reasoning behind this is that we are more confident being the parents of a child with special needs, and has nothing to do with the wait time. Our older biological daughters have been rather insistent on wanting another sister from China and have desired a particular special need that we hadn't considered before. See what God can do? Not only is he changing Trent and me, he is changing our girls. Our eyes have been opened, and so we must act.
What I've learned from my experience with adopting the first time, and with Ruth in particular, is that whether the time is long or short (in my mind) that the right girl for our family WILL have her file ready exactly when we are ready.
Some of you may know that Ruth joined a foster family just after her first birthday in China. The foster family was told she may only be with them for one month; that her file was nearly ready. A month came and went, still not ready. Two months, three months, four months, and more. Finally after nearly eight months, they received a text message saying, "Her family wants you to call her Ruth." After months of waiting on their end with no word, the way they learned she had been matched was my tentative message to our adoption agency politely asking if, since they speak English, they could call her Ruth or Ruthie so she is familiar with her name when we bring her home. The way that got translated to the Douglas family was less polite and more direct. "Call her Ruth". And just when her foster family visited they told us about a photo that we were later sent, of them holding Ruth up and they said, "Hello, Ruth. You have a forever family coming for you." And that photo came through to us on our 11th wedding anniversary.
 |
| Hello, Ruth! |
We will certainly keep you updated on any progress or changes. And I'm always, always, always here and can make myself available to answer any questions you might have on how to get started on your own adoption journey. The need is great for families to come forward. With the law changes in China, after we adopt sister six we will no longer be able to adopt from China as we will exceed their child limit (at least until Anne is over 18, wink, wink). With that sadness also comes my expectation that God will raise up my friends and acquaintances to step up to care for these little ones who deserve families. Will you?
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
One Year Home with Ruth
A year!
So much has changed in this year with Ruth.
She had a major surgery.
She has gone to the mountains and the ocean.
She has had two different speech therapists.
She has grown (a little bit).
She has been to countless doctor and dentist appointments.
She has gone through one tiny illness.
She has endured a terrible pollen allergy.
She has experienced a Pennsylvania summer, a fall fair season, a long, long winter, and a slow, slow spring.
Ruthie has changed our lives. Her four older sisters are more compassionate, more empathetic, and more patient than ever.
Because of Ruth, her sisters have first-hand knowledge of the myriad of beautiful ways the Lord provides for His children.
Because of Ruth, I have learned to advocate for a child with special needs.
Because of Ruth, I have become a resource parent for others considering adopting a child with cleft.
Because of Ruth, I have a bit more gray hair.
Because of Ruth, our kids have learned that special needs don't need to be scary.
Because of Ruth, our girls all want to be adoptive Mamas when they grow up.
I think it's safe to say that Ruth is exactly what we didn't know our family was missing.
We are blessed to have a lot of our family living nearby, so we celebrated on her exact one-year-home date, May 26, with heaps and heaps of Chinese food ordered from our local Peking Chinese take-out in Quarryville. We had some Asian fruits from the new Asian market, and topped it off with red, white and blue décor! Oh, and tattoos. So. Many. Tattoos.
Thank you, God, for this beautiful life.
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Psalm 127:3 NASB
While it's true that Ruthie is not from my own womb, another woman carried her and it's a privilege to call her mine.
So much has changed in this year with Ruth.
 |
| Sister can climb this? Me too! |
She had a major surgery.
She has gone to the mountains and the ocean.
She has had two different speech therapists.
She has grown (a little bit).
She has been to countless doctor and dentist appointments.
She has gone through one tiny illness.
She has endured a terrible pollen allergy.
She has experienced a Pennsylvania summer, a fall fair season, a long, long winter, and a slow, slow spring.
 |
| She LOVES to "read" chapter books like her sisters |
Ruthie has changed our lives. Her four older sisters are more compassionate, more empathetic, and more patient than ever.
Because of Ruth, her sisters have first-hand knowledge of the myriad of beautiful ways the Lord provides for His children.
Because of Ruth, I have learned to advocate for a child with special needs.
Because of Ruth, I have become a resource parent for others considering adopting a child with cleft.
Because of Ruth, I have a bit more gray hair.
 |
| She is forever stealing my iced coffee. |
Because of Ruth, our kids have learned that special needs don't need to be scary.
Because of Ruth, our girls all want to be adoptive Mamas when they grow up.
I think it's safe to say that Ruth is exactly what we didn't know our family was missing.
 |
| Bedtime stories with Daddy |
We are blessed to have a lot of our family living nearby, so we celebrated on her exact one-year-home date, May 26, with heaps and heaps of Chinese food ordered from our local Peking Chinese take-out in Quarryville. We had some Asian fruits from the new Asian market, and topped it off with red, white and blue décor! Oh, and tattoos. So. Many. Tattoos.
Thank you, God, for this beautiful life.
 |
| My five daughters and our honorary son |
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Psalm 127:3 NASB
  |
| Happy One year home! |
Saturday, June 2, 2018
A Quick Trip to VA
The USA is such an amazing country for a lot of reasons. One that is purely selfish is the ability to travel a wide expanse of unique countryside without ever leaving the country.
We happen to love traveling to Virginia. Our best friends live there so that is usually our excuse to go, but Trent and I have taken vacations there multiple times just the two of us. Last year we were hoping to take the girls to Colonial Williamsburg, Jamestown and Yorktown. We had studied early American History so it was a perfect field trip/vacation. Last May we went to China instead, which was much more important than a little trip to VA, plus now Ruthie got to join in the fun which happened to take place over the exact time we were in China in 2017.
We found a cozy place on VRBO (Vacation Rentals by Owner) about 30 minutes from Williamsburg. We really enjoy staying in places like this because they have more space for our large family and are less expensive and more comfortable than staying in a hotel (considering we would need to get two hotel rooms). As the date was approaching the home owner contacted Trent to let him know that the place we had reserved they were actually going to be selling and would we mind staying at one of their other properties. It has a private beach on the bay and a couple of kayaks, but it's an hour drive to Williamsburg. Um. Yes. Yes, we would like a private beach on the bay.
Right before we left was a little chaotic. Abbey's ear started hurting the day before we were going to leave and I decided I'd better take her into the doctor quickly before leaving just in case she was getting an ear infection. It turned out to be swimmer's ear and the drops really helped her recover quickly. The other problem was that the air condition in the Suburban wasn't working. It hadn't really been hot here so it wasn't an issue but it was supposed to be in the upper 80s while in Virginia, plus we were going to be driving for five hours to get there, mostly highway (loud) driving.
The drive really was not bad at all. Ruthie had a couple minor issues, mainly because she was tired and wasn't falling asleep. I think if the A/C had worked it would have been nearly flawless. For five young kids to drive that long with as few complaints as we had. Well, we were just plain grateful. The girls had completely outstanding behavior every place we went. They were patient, mostly interested in the history, and just all around fun to be with. We had scarcely pulled into the driveway when they ripped through their bags to find swimsuits and ran to the water. Can't say that I blame them!
I think we all agreed that Jamestown Island was our favorite. We didn't do the "rebuilt/entertainment" Jamestown, instead opting for the (cheaper) actual historical part of the island. Walking around was really fascinating. Maggie's favorite part was chasing squirrels. The girls all loved finding tons of turtles as we walked across a bridge over a swampy part of ground. Carrie liked holding the hand of the Pocahontas statue. But truthfully, the kids were slightly horrified to learn that the first settlers had resorted to cannibalism to survive and to see an actual skeleton with knife marks on the skull. My personal favorite was just learning about who these settlers were, why they wanted to come to America, and what kind of adventurous spirit it would have taken to get them there. I also learned that people today can trace their lineage to John Rolf and Pocahontas, especially since they only had one son before she died. What a legacy!
After Jamestown we ate at Cookout. It was a highlight of the trip. They are known for their 40+ flavors of milkshakes. After eating we got three milkshakes (chocolate, vanilla, and peanut butter) to pass around the table. I think the kids and I agree that peanut butter was our favorite, but Trent liked vanilla.
From Cookout we went to Colonial Williamsburg. At this point we were all kind of getting tired and it was pretty hot. The tickets are very expensive for a family of our size so we opted to just do the free stuff. We walked through a replica of a colonial era plantation that was one of our favorite parts, only to learn later that you were supposed to have purchased a ticket to go through that part. Oops. There was a lot of walking and I mentioned it was pretty hot. After some complaining we got a bottle of water that seemed to perk everyone up. Ruthie fell asleep in the carrier for a little bit. We definitely didn't get quite as much out of our time there.
We stopped at Little Caesar's for their $5 hot and ready pizzas. Unfortunately there weren't any ready (see what I did there) so we sat in a hot (haha- I did it again) car while Trent waited for awhile. That cheap pizza was pretty delicious, though.
The kids obviously loved playing in the bay. I had never stayed at the bay or really been to the bay that I can recall. You can walk out really far from the shore and not be in water deeper than your waist. It was so peaceful and really great for young kids since there are no waves. Our girls are all animal lovers so were thrilled to find over 127 sea snails, a live horseshoe crab, a fish in a shell, and Maggie picked up a live crab when she was far from the shore. She was so excited but it pinched her. She didn't want to let it go because it was such a great find, but it also kept pinching.
Saturday we went did the Yorktown Battlefield tour. We started off in the museum and watched a short video (we also did this at Jamestown). What was most memorable to the girls was not the fact that they had George Washington's actual tent but that the actor said a bad word in the movie. We got the $5 CD that tells you the history as you drive through the various important locations. Trent and I were really interested. The little girls could care less. The older girls really just wanted to go back and play in the bay. We would have liked to go inside Moore house and the kids were actually very interested to do this; unfortunately it was closed that day.
After a light lunch while we drove (apples, crackers, string cheese, etc.) we headed back to our rental property. Ruth wanted to join the big girls in the bay but she just couldn't hang. I ended up taking her inside where she took a very long, much needed three-hour nap. The fun in the bay ended when Anne tripped and got a 3-inch gash on her upper thigh. The owners had warned of very sharp shells that can cut your feet and recommended water shoes (which the kids refused to wear). Thankfully injuries and blood don't make me queasy. We debated taking her to an urgent care for stitches, and decided instead I'd just run out to the pharmacy for some butterfly bandages and ointment. I patched her up just fine. *Note: I did take her to the doctor Monday when we got home. He said she could have used stitches if I had taken her in right away but it was starting to heal and my bandages did a good enough job.*
Sunday was Mother's Day and it ended up being overcast at chilly. The flies were really biting down at the water so it ended up being a good day to leave. No one was overly upset in the way they would have been if it was sunny.
The drive back home was uneventful. We made only one quick stop to use the bathroom. The kids were so good.
We are already thinking of where we could go next May. Our current thoughts are Georgia or Massachusetts.
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| I'd go anywhere with Trent by my side. |
We happen to love traveling to Virginia. Our best friends live there so that is usually our excuse to go, but Trent and I have taken vacations there multiple times just the two of us. Last year we were hoping to take the girls to Colonial Williamsburg, Jamestown and Yorktown. We had studied early American History so it was a perfect field trip/vacation. Last May we went to China instead, which was much more important than a little trip to VA, plus now Ruthie got to join in the fun which happened to take place over the exact time we were in China in 2017.
We found a cozy place on VRBO (Vacation Rentals by Owner) about 30 minutes from Williamsburg. We really enjoy staying in places like this because they have more space for our large family and are less expensive and more comfortable than staying in a hotel (considering we would need to get two hotel rooms). As the date was approaching the home owner contacted Trent to let him know that the place we had reserved they were actually going to be selling and would we mind staying at one of their other properties. It has a private beach on the bay and a couple of kayaks, but it's an hour drive to Williamsburg. Um. Yes. Yes, we would like a private beach on the bay.
 |
| That's the bay right behind that small patch of grass! |
The drive really was not bad at all. Ruthie had a couple minor issues, mainly because she was tired and wasn't falling asleep. I think if the A/C had worked it would have been nearly flawless. For five young kids to drive that long with as few complaints as we had. Well, we were just plain grateful. The girls had completely outstanding behavior every place we went. They were patient, mostly interested in the history, and just all around fun to be with. We had scarcely pulled into the driveway when they ripped through their bags to find swimsuits and ran to the water. Can't say that I blame them!
 |
| Maggie is the Queen of Finding Fun Things - here is a unique piece of driftwood |
I think we all agreed that Jamestown Island was our favorite. We didn't do the "rebuilt/entertainment" Jamestown, instead opting for the (cheaper) actual historical part of the island. Walking around was really fascinating. Maggie's favorite part was chasing squirrels. The girls all loved finding tons of turtles as we walked across a bridge over a swampy part of ground. Carrie liked holding the hand of the Pocahontas statue. But truthfully, the kids were slightly horrified to learn that the first settlers had resorted to cannibalism to survive and to see an actual skeleton with knife marks on the skull. My personal favorite was just learning about who these settlers were, why they wanted to come to America, and what kind of adventurous spirit it would have taken to get them there. I also learned that people today can trace their lineage to John Rolf and Pocahontas, especially since they only had one son before she died. What a legacy!
 |
| Turtles in the swampy water was a highlight for our animal-loving girls. |
After Jamestown we ate at Cookout. It was a highlight of the trip. They are known for their 40+ flavors of milkshakes. After eating we got three milkshakes (chocolate, vanilla, and peanut butter) to pass around the table. I think the kids and I agree that peanut butter was our favorite, but Trent liked vanilla.
From Cookout we went to Colonial Williamsburg. At this point we were all kind of getting tired and it was pretty hot. The tickets are very expensive for a family of our size so we opted to just do the free stuff. We walked through a replica of a colonial era plantation that was one of our favorite parts, only to learn later that you were supposed to have purchased a ticket to go through that part. Oops. There was a lot of walking and I mentioned it was pretty hot. After some complaining we got a bottle of water that seemed to perk everyone up. Ruthie fell asleep in the carrier for a little bit. We definitely didn't get quite as much out of our time there.
 |
| Anne was pleased as punch that Ruthie let her ride on her back in the carrier for part of the time. |
We stopped at Little Caesar's for their $5 hot and ready pizzas. Unfortunately there weren't any ready (see what I did there) so we sat in a hot (haha- I did it again) car while Trent waited for awhile. That cheap pizza was pretty delicious, though.
The kids obviously loved playing in the bay. I had never stayed at the bay or really been to the bay that I can recall. You can walk out really far from the shore and not be in water deeper than your waist. It was so peaceful and really great for young kids since there are no waves. Our girls are all animal lovers so were thrilled to find over 127 sea snails, a live horseshoe crab, a fish in a shell, and Maggie picked up a live crab when she was far from the shore. She was so excited but it pinched her. She didn't want to let it go because it was such a great find, but it also kept pinching.
 |
| Taking a moment to relax |
Saturday we went did the Yorktown Battlefield tour. We started off in the museum and watched a short video (we also did this at Jamestown). What was most memorable to the girls was not the fact that they had George Washington's actual tent but that the actor said a bad word in the movie. We got the $5 CD that tells you the history as you drive through the various important locations. Trent and I were really interested. The little girls could care less. The older girls really just wanted to go back and play in the bay. We would have liked to go inside Moore house and the kids were actually very interested to do this; unfortunately it was closed that day.
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| The kids getting a little too into the acting out of the battle. |
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| Moore house |
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| Horseshoe Crab! The screened in porch was lovely for eating outside. |
We had originally planned to eat at a sit-down restaurant Saturday night. However, we enjoyed Cookout so much that we decided to go there again to one closer to the house. We all loved the food and ended our meal with three different flavors of milkshake (banana-fudge, strawberry cheesecake, and oreo).
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| Round 2 at Cookout |
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| Good-bye, Mobjack Bay! |
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| Beyond blessed that these five gals call me "mama" |
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