On Your Face

**Sweet Magdalena**

I can think of very few reasons for lying face down. It is not something that I do on a regular basis. So at the beginning of my study with Beth Moore about 3 weeks ago I was surprised when she recommended that we lie face-down on the ground to pray, everyday. Let me tell you I was not at all comfortable doing this. My first "on my face" prayer probably lasted about 30 seconds. However, as the weeks have gone on and I persevered in praying on my face once a day, something strange has happened.

My face time has gotten longer. Sometimes I stand up and I'm sure that there are carpet indents on my forehead and probably some Petey hairs too. I make sure to close my blinds when I do it because I'm sure if a neighbor or the mailman would happen to be on the porch and peek in they would think I was either dead or having some sort of seizure. Sometimes I am very still, and others I have my hands lifted up (probably rather awkwardly looking) and am speaking to the LORD.

Being on your face is very humbling. Sometimes I pray on my knees, and I thought that was humbling myself before the Lord. But on your face? You can't get much lower than that. I think even after my study is over, I'll continue to pray on my face. Maybe not everyday, but certainly sometimes.

One way that the children like to pray before bed is what we have come to call "Praying in a Pile". Trent and I will sit on the floor, either on our knees or on our bottoms, and the kids will all pile on top of us, laying sideways, curled up, or in any sort of strange position that they may find themselves. Then Trent and I put our arms around our sweet little girls and we pray. The children each take a turn praying for whatever they want. Abbey consistently prays for "Pappy, Paw-Paw, and Hoy (Troy)". She has also recently added "Maf-few church" (Matthew from church) to her list. Anne usually prays for her "best friend". Her best friend changes on a daily basis, but the list usually consists of "Allen, Edy, Jeanette, Delvin, and Leanne."

I am so very far from being a perfect parent. I think I become more aware of that every day. There are some days when I just feel so lazy and inadequate. Sometimes I don't feel like reading "Jimmy's Boa" for the 100th time or pretending to be a horse, cow, owl, or whatever animal Anne is stuck on that day. However, it is those times when I am most often struck with how short these years are that our children are little. That doesn't necessarily make it any easier when the children are refusing to nap and I know their little bodies need sleep, and I desperately need some caffeine and time with Jesus. But it does help to get me through.

Today I read these verses:

Hebrews 6:12 "We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."

Galatians 6:9 "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see."

So on the days that I feel lazy and weary, I think on these promises of God. I want to inherit what has been promised, I want to reap a harvest, I want to have faith. Praise God for his unending love. I have faith that my children will come to know the LORD. If I become lazy and weary in my work as their mother, I am not doing them or myself any favors. It is such a powerful reminder to me that I must continually draw MY strength from the Lord in order to pass it on to my children.

On a different note, the children and I were at Wal*Mart on Monday. As we were going along (Maggie in the Snugli and Anne and Abbey in the cart) Anne just started belting out at the top of her lungs "Jesus loves me". It really brought tears to my eyes. Anyone who would have heard her surely would have believed every word that she sang, she sang it with so much conviction. Of course, this did happen after one of her less-fine moments of disobedience. I told her she was not allowed to get out of the cart to walk, and when I turned my back for 5 seconds, what does she do? She attempts to climb out and falls with a huge thud onto the hard floor. Thankfully she was uninjured, but there was a woman looking at me in disgust as I gave Anne a lecture about obeying Mama and why it is important. Don't worry, I made sure she was Okay before I lectured her!

Lift up your Eyes

*Playing with A&A. My big girls piled up on me!*

I'm in to my second week of a Beth Moore study titled, 'Stepping Up; a journey through the Psalms of Ascent'. It is wonderful.

Both Psalm 121 and 123 talk about lifting up our eyes. A while back I had talked about looking up to our heavenly Father, and these verses have really made me think further upon the importance of looking up.

Psalm 121:1-2 (Hans-Joachim Kraus) "I lift my eyes up to the hills. From where does help come to me? Help comes to me from Yaweh, who has made heaven and earth."

Psalm 123:1-2 (The Amplified Bible) "Unto You do I lift up my eyes, O You Who are enthroned in heaven. Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hands of their master, and as the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, until He has mercy and loving-kindness for us."

Beth Moore suggests that an "entire chain reaction begins with our eyes and ultimately affects our hearts, souls, and minds. Where we look - where we genuinely fasten our gaze - amid continual life challenges has a tremendous impact on how we feel."

I have to agree with her. Where I look impacts how I feel. My previous post was on contentment, and it seems that has been on my mind quite a bit. I've been thinking of the many things I love about city living. When Beth Moore posed the question of looking impacting our feelings, I went once again to contentment. When my eyes are upon the "things" that others have that I do not have (for me the "things" are often yards or a bigger home), I feel discouraged and discontented. However, when I look at my past, where I have been to where I am now, I feel encouraged and content. When my eyes are continually fixed upon Jesus, envy has no room to sneak in to my heart. It's too full of Jesus. I certainly have a long way to go. I'm far far from perfect. But I do love my Jesus. Praise God for forgiveness, and that He loves us even though we are far from worthy.

I want to share with you the comments from The Eerdmans Critical Commentary regarding Psalm 123: "The singer affirms his total devotion to the Lord, and he wants to obtain a vision of the divine presence... His eyes are fixed on God's hands. To lift up the eyes is a gesture of deep longing. While God is enthroned in the heavens - a sign of his kingship - his transcendence is not inaccessible. God's crowd of helpers, like royal attendants, wait for a single hint before going into action."

Many of the articles I've read, sermons I've heard, songs I've sang, and Bible verses I've read have talked much about stepping out in faith. Putting our foot in the Jordan before the waters have parted, "you've never lived until you've lived by faith", going into action.

I am so encouraged by this. What are you doing with 2011? Are you walking bravely into some unknown, guided by your faith in God? Are you going through a valley of the shadow of death? Where are you going this year?

I was struck with the brevity of life as 4 high school students died in a car accident this weekend. I've lived many more years than these four boys will ever see. What am I doing with them?

This year I am stepping out in faith with my eyes lifted up.

Called to Contentment

A while back I was reading the obituary of an old woman. I'm sorry to say that I forget her name, but something struck me as I read through the snapshot that was her life. It said something like this, "Mom was a contented woman."

Wow.

Years ago, before I had fully surrendered my life to Christ, I would have scoffed at that statement. Oh, big deal, she was content. But now, I could say that is my life's goal. Paul wrote that he has learned to be content with little and with much. What a testament to God.

Many of you know my desire to have a home in the country with some land and maybe some woods. And here we are, 5 years living in the city with who knows how many more to come. However, I truly believe that God has us here for a reason, and until that reason is fulfilled, we will be here. What is God teaching me right here, where I am? Contentment. Maybe when I am fully content here in the city, God will open doors for us to move. (We could be here a VERY long time with how I feel some days!!)

What I love about city living:

1. We are close to almost everything (grocery/mall/doctors/Trent's office/etc.)
2. The dog park (this is for the kids)
   
3. Sidewalks
4. Splits & Giggles Ice Cream Shop (on our street, 2 blocks south!)
5. Parks in walkable distance
6. No yard to mow

Of course, most of these have the reverse which could seem negative. Sure, we have no yard to mow, but that also means we have no yard to play in!! I would have to say that the biggest positive is how close Trent is to work. He gets home consistently at about 5:15. I can't complain about that! And since we have no yard to mow it frees up a considerable amount of time in the warmer months to enjoy the dog park and taking walks.

I certainly do not want to be the nagging wife that Solomon warns us not to be throughout Proverbs. I'm trying to be a living example to my daughters of how a good wife should act. Constant complaining is not the way to keep your husband happy at home. Praise God for a Bible full of life lessons and examples!

When I die, if my children can write in my obituary, "Mom was a contented woman." I'll be happy! =)

Contentment in Pictures

Life Lessons

Today has been just one of those days. Abbey's nose is runny, Anne's nose is stuffy. Nobody is happy. Magdalena has been sleeping poorly at night resulting in her sleeping in our bed on my stomach (not the most comfortable position for a long period of time). I figured the girls would nap wonderfully. HA!

Magdalena went down beautifully, in her crib! Abbey did not have a great start, so I let Anne stay up for an extra 20 minutes to help me get the turkey ready to put in the oven. This was enjoyable. Anne will be a great cook someday.

After taking Anne upstairs I realized that Abbey was in fact, not asleep. She was playing with her blankets and the laundry basket. Sometimes I think the kids are too creative. I put Anne to bed anyway, hoping for the best.

After what sounded like elephants parading through their room, I went back in to scold/spank. Abbey laughed, Anne cried (for a moment). Anne told me they were having too much fun playing to sleep. What can you say to that? They playing continued.

Then they woke up Maggie.

Mommy was NOT happy.

After more scolding and spanks I went to comfort Magdalena only to hear more carrying on. I pulled out whatever threats I could think of. I called Daddy. (He didn't answer! Shucks!!)

At one point Anne hollered downstairs to ask what I was doing.
I replied, "Cleaning!"
She said, "I want to eat, too! Can I come down?"
Me, "No, Anne. I'm not eating, I'm CLEANING!!"
Anne started crying. "Are you using my paints or Abbey's? I wanna paint!!!" More crying.
Me: chuckling despite myself, "Honey, I'm cleaning."
Anne: "Oh..."

Finally, after 2 hours of playing/crying/pretending, there was silence.

Today's life lesson? Some days, kids just don't want to nap (especially when there are 2 or more small children sharing a room) because they are having too much fun playing.
My solution? Put the "baby lock" on the door and let them play/work it out until they fall asleep or Daddy gets home, which ever comes first. Holler if someone is bleeding.

Welcome 2011

Pappy reading to the girls on Christmas Eve.

I don't know about you, but I love every January. Maybe it's because my birthday is in January, but I love the idea of starting new, starting fresh. I don't usually make New Year's Resolutions because I find that they are often unattainable, unrealistic, and are broken by January's end. However, this year, I made one that I feel is realistic. I've been wanting to read the Bible in chronological order, and my dear mom, knowing this, purchased me a One-Year Chronological Bible. It would be unrealistic for me to make it a goal to complete it in one year, but we shall see! I also am making it a personal goal to do more Bible Study's on my own, and purchased a study by Beth Moore to start soon.

Trent and I celebrating our 5th Anniversary at the cabin!

Goals for the kids:
As Head-Mom in the house, it is my responsibility to help grow my children, not just physically, but spiritually and in character. I really feel that I must be intentional in helping the children. I mentioned that the girls have memorized/are memorizing Psalm 23. Since Anne has this down pretty well, I want to find another passage to hang on the wall to replace this. Any suggestions?


Anne: She is outgoing, but we recently dealt with a situation where there was a new little girl in her Sunday School class. Instead of talking to her, she told me that she just stared at her. We then role-played and showed her how this was not a kind thing to do, and we talked about what she could do better next time. Anne is incredibly imaginative. We recently read The Loin, The Witch, and The Wardrobe together. She loves Aslan. Yesterday she told Trent that when she is supposed to be in bed sleeping, Aslan comes to her room and wants to play with her. So she does. Anne asked me today why she can't hear God talking to her out loud. This is one very spiritual little girl. I pray that I can be a good mom to Anne this year, and give her good answers to her deep questions, and when I don't know the answer that we can search for them together.


Abbey: Hmm.. is potty training on the way this year? I imagine at some point it will be. Be it early 2011 or late, I don't know. Anne was so difficult in this respect that I am very willing to change diapers longer and have an easier time at training. Little Abbey is sharp. She's quieter than Anne, but no less intelligent. She plays so quietly at times that I often wonder what is going on in her little head. My goal for Abbey this year is to get her to be a bit more out going. She didn't cry yesterday when I left her in her class at SMILE (my Tuesday mom's group) and that was a big step for her. She will start Sunday School in Anne's class when she turns 2 in April. Hard to believe that little peanut will be two soon!


Magdalena: Physically this will be a huge year for Magdalena. She was so close to rolling over last night. She will sit up, crawl, and maybe even walk this year. Anne walked at 11 months, Abbey at 13 months. So even if Maggie waits until 15 months, she will walk in 2011. I'm continually praising God for her growth. Even when we have sleeping set-backs, I'm thankful for my youngest daughter.

What does God have planned for the Hesses this year? That is unknown to me as of yet. I have some ideas, but only God knows. Trent and I are doing our best to follow God, to grow closer to Him, and to each other. I'm excited for Trent to preach again this Sunday. I imagine he will be preaching quite a bit in the coming months as we transition to having a part-time interim pastor. I'm thankful that Trent is able to use this gift and share it with others.

Happy New Year: Reflections

I think I enjoy each new year more than the last. One of Trent and my favorite things to do is sit down together and reflect on the previous year. I thought I would share some of the things that I was reflecting on in my life as well and the children.

Looking Back on 2010

Anne Margaret: Turned 3 in November. She is a precious child who finds great joy in very simple things and adores people. Some of the highlights of her year were snowmobiling with Paw-Paw, playing in the water out back on our deck, going to the beach for a day, going to the cabin for a week, holding Baby Magdalena in the hospital, and meeting her Great-Grandparents for the first time. She still talks about going to "Campanelli's" (Campus Deli) to eat with her grandpa who's name is Tom and her Nana. She reminds me that they have lollipops there (just in case I forgot), and that next time she won't break hers. She adores living life each day. A big accomplishment this year for Anne was a big step that we made with her in potty training. She was having some very serious bowel movement issues. As a result our family has all changed our diets and we seem to be much healthier. Anne has shown tremendous spiritual maturity for one so young. She simply adores Jesus in her childlike way. She often brings tears to my eyes when she shows her understanding of Biblical truths that are beyond her years. She praises God, and teaches her sisters how to praise God. She loves to pray, and has completely memorized Psalm 23. (I think she knows it better than me!)

Abigail Frances: Turned 1 in April. She loves playing with her big sister. Abbey enjoys Magdalena as well, but she really looks up to Anne. I am prayerful that Anne will be a good example. Abbey enjoys playing with her toy farm animals and her people from the "Loving Family" set. I highly recommend them. Since Anne has learned Psalm 23 Abbey can also say portions of it. If we say the first part of a verse she can finish the last 1-3 words! How beautiful is that? Whenever we pray she always shouts "Pappy, Paw-Paw". These are 2 of her most favorite people. Pappy is her great-grandpa (Trent's dad's father), and Paw-Paw is Trent's dad.

Magdalena Faith: Was born August 24, three weeks early. After a 6 day stay in the NICU she was able to come home and quickly gained weight. I was very concerned because she wasn't smiling or awake very much. However, she doe smile, and she laughed for the first time on Christmas morning. What a great gift! She is a treasure to our family, and we love her dearly. At her four month check-up she weighed 11 pounds, 10 ounces. Definitely on the small side for her age, but she is staying on her own curve, which we want to see. Praise God!

Emily: Had a great year at home. I was stretched in my faith this year throughout my pregnancy with Magdalena. God was faithful to me throughout those long and difficult weeks and I'm so grateful to have a happy, healthy baby girl. One of the best things I did this year was to grow spiritually. It is often in difficult situations when we learn the most, and that proved true this year. I also did a Bible Study on Esther that I loved! It was very challenging and encouraging. I take my job as "mother" very seriously. I try to read books and talk to friends who can encourage and teach me. I have had some great discussions with Trent on raising our children, and teaching them about the Lord. I love every day I get to spend with my little ones. Even the difficult days and nights, with little sleep, tantrums, runny noses and a messy house. These are days that we cannot relive. The children are only young once, and I am doing my best to train them up in the way they should go. I try to ask forgiveness of my little ones and humble myself before them so that they can learn from my example. Anne is very quick to ask for forgiveness if she does something naughty. Even though I still have to discipline her, I also try to show that I really do forgive her so that she does the same.

Trent: I couldn't ask for a better husband. We celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary in December, and really have a deep love and commitment to each other, and our children. Trent got a promotion at work this year and he is really enjoying the greater responsibilities. I love that he is feeling more fulfilled with his work. It's good for a man to have a job that he enjoys going to everyday. Trent is a wonderful provider for our family, not only financially, but spiritually. Over the summer we noticed that every morning that Trent left for work without praying for us, Anne had a terrible day. Trent now prays for us every morning. This has been by far the most peaceful winter at our home since Anne was born. We also started reading devotions together every morning and evening from a book called Daily Light on the Daily Path. I love that it is only a compilation of Scripture. These readings have also sparked some wonderful conversations.

I hope you all enjoyed 2010 as much as we did. Happy New Year!!