My Flesh is Weak

Over the past couple of weeks I have been bombarded with Scripture concerning our human weakness. I am totally willing to admit that I fall into the category of having a great weakness when it comes to desiring things of this world when I know they are not right for me.

Galatians 5:16-17 (New International Version)

"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want."

So here we are. My flesh desires a home in the country. The Spirit desires an adoption. They are contrary to each other. At this time, we can't have both at the same time. This conflict of Flesh vs. Spirit is causing a lot of discussion between Trent and I, but also making me realize that Jesus left us with the Holy Spirit for a reason. He doesn't want us to do "whatever we want".

Matthew 26:41 (English Standard Version)

"Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

I feel this way more often than I care to admit. It's not enough just to admit that my flesh is weak even though the spirit is willing. This verse gives us something to DO about it. Watch and Pray! This is essential for me to remember. Pray, Pray, Pray!

Romans 8:26 (New International Version)

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."

I love this verse. So, yes, we are weak, but guess what? We are not alone!! The Spirit helps us!! The Matthew verse tells us to pray. But sometimes we don't know how to pray, so what do we do? The Spirit himself intercedes for us! Now, this doesn't mean that we don't attempt to pray. I believe this means that when we are praying, and don't have the words (so we are contemplating or perhaps silent) the Spirit is interceding for us.

We make choices all day long. Some are much easier to make than others. What should I eat for lunch? what should I wear? etc are some easier choices. Of course, then there are difficult choices: What school should I send my children to? Should we move? When? Should we adopt? When? etc. Because, let's be honest, what we eat for lunch is probably not going to be a life-changing decision. I wouldn't consider myself a "worrier", I like to characterize myself more as a "planner". So, if I have a plan or goal in mind, I like to stick to it. The trouble comes when I don't have a specific time frame. Then, I tend to edge closer to the worrying side of things. Thankfully Trent hardly worries about anything, and he can quite easily bring me back to reality and help me not to worry about things.

I guess what it comes down to is faith. Perhaps my faith is not as strong as it should be.

Hebrews 11:6 (New International Version)

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

I cannot please God without faith.

So here I am. I want to please God. I want to remove the "fleshy" side of me. I need to be content. I need to pray. I am willing to do what the Lord requires of me, but my flesh is making it difficult.

Luke 9:23 (New International Version)

"Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.""

Did you catch that? If I want to be a disciple, I must DENY myself (pleasures of this world) and take up my cross DAILY, and follow Him. This is a conscious effort EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.! Maybe you don't have the same struggles I do, and that is great! However, I think if we are honest with each other, most of us struggle with something!

I'm thankful for each new day, for a new beginning, and yes, even for another day to deny myself. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband and three darling daughters. I am reminded to spend each moment I have with my four dearest people to the fullest. There is no sense in complaining about my selfishness. My children are happy where we live, why make them discontented by revealing my own weakness to them? My husband is happy, why nag and complain to him so that I am as the wife in Proverbs 27:15 "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day".

;)

Magdalena is 9 months

Didn't I blog about Maggie being 6 months just the other day? How has 3 months gone by already?

When you have your first child, many many people come up to you and tell you to enjoy it because it goes fast. And while I have always believed it, it's crazy to be living it. The next time Maggie goes to get professional pictures she will be one year old... but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

Here is Maggie at 9 months:



What can Maggie do? Well, she is sitting up unsupported, she is nearly crawling on her hands and knees. She can go about 3-4 hand crawls, then she usually ends up moving her arm/hands and half-dragging her legs. She can pull-to-stand!! This is so neat, but it really shows that the end of her "baby days" are very near. {Trent can hardly wait!}


She can also get herself into the sitting position from the crawling position, but not every time. At about 8 months Magdalena started saying "II", which I thought sounded like "Hi!" Just a couple weeks ago she started waving when she says it, so we confirmed that she really is saying "Hi!". When we are at the store she likes to wave to people and say, "III!" It's very precious.



Magdalena continues to be a poor sleeper. She is usually waking up 1 or 2 times in the night to nurse. Thankfully she goes right back to sleep after I feed her. A couple months ago we had taken her off all food to determine whether she has a food allergy. So, we are very very slowly reintroducing food. So far, she does well with applesauce and sweet potatoes. This week we will try pears. She still cries, but not nearly as much as when we first started food.

*evidence of Maggie crying*

Maggie also has (almost) 2 teeth on the bottom. I say almost because one is fully through and the other is very nearly through.

*Teething*

Magdalena likes to crawl around and find all sorts of fuzzies, string, and other random small things that she shouldn't have, and tries to put them in her mouth before I can get them from her. (I know, I know, you're thinking 'sheesh, Emily, clean your floor!')



So, we're living life. We're loving on each other every chance we get. I adore Maggie's chubby cheeks and arms, especially since she started out just so so tiny!!

*don't you love those chunky arms?!*

I am definitely thankful that Maggie is here, and healthy, and we aren't going to endless doctor appointments full of stress and uncertainty. I'll take the waking up in the night over hellish doctor appointments any day. Though, I suppose you must have one to get the other....

And the best for last:

Can she get any cuter with that spiky hair?!

Special thanks to my mom who made Magdalena's dress and matching headband!! Love you, mom!!

Oh, and she has a 9 month check-up next week (I think), and I'll post her height & weight then!

Adoption: Sacrifice

Adoption has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I thought I'd share with you a "revelation" I had this week. . . Adoption is going to require sacrifice. Here is what I mean:

We have two different countries that we are looking at adopting from: 1. Ethiopia and 2. Honduras.

Let's start with Ethiopia. Originally, we thought this would be our only option because of our age (many countries require you to be 30 years old or older), and because we have three children. If we adopted from Ethiopia we would use Bethany Christian Services. When adopting internationally you are always required to go to the country to pick up your child. Ethiopia requires 2 trips, each 5-7 days long. So, part of the sacrifice would be leaving our three children behind for that time to go Ethiopia to bring home our fourth child. The other part of the sacrifice is that on the first trip to Ethiopia, you meet your child, then go to court to testify that you will indeed parent that child, and then you leave your child in Ethiopia until you return for the second trip to bring your child home. Can you see how a mother's heart would be torn in this situation?

How we found out about Honduras adoption was definitely a "God thing". We were having our house re-wired and our electrician "just happened" to be adopting from Honduras through a new program with Living Hope Adoption Agency. Again, for me the greatest part of the sacrifice is the trip to the country because it means leaving my three little Hess girls behind. The trip to Honduras is just one trip, but it is a minimum of two weeks up to four weeks. I think I could handle two weeks, but four weeks? That is so scary. How would we manage on so many levels (our children, our home, our bills, etc.) for that long away from home.

Sacrifice.

Dictionary.com describes it this way, "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim."

Once again, I am realizing that I want to do things when they are easy.

Of course, there is the sacrifice of money. Somehow I am not as concerned about this. Isn't it strange how one can have such faith and confidence in one area of ones life and be utterly fearful in another?

As I thought more of this I realized that I will have to depend on someone else to take care of our children, and that is a scary thought for me. I love being home with our girls and the thought of leaving them for 2-4 weeks is awful.

Of course, Trent's concerns are different from mine. "Oh, the girls will be fine" he reassures me. But what about work? How can I leave work for 2-4 weeks? The girls are my work, BCF Group is his work.

Psalm 37:3-4 "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

I would love it if you would pray for our family in the coming months. We have decided to pray about this and consider our options until Magdalena turns 1 in August. I'm sure I'll post more about our progress before then!!

*Magdalena on the front porch while I pulled weeds.*

This morning I had the pleasure of waking up unusually early (for me) and meeting with four other women for breakfast and to share with them a little about what is on my heart.

I started by sharing a bit about lifting up our eyes which I blogged about here back in January.

Our conversation then turned to adoption and children which was so exciting and encouraging to hear these young women's thoughts on some of my favorite topics.

Since I had some thoughts already floating around about lifting up our eyes, I thought I'd go ahead and share them now.

I asked the women why do you look up, what would cause you to look up? Some of the answers were a plane, a sunset, etc. Something has to get your attention in order to make you look up. When we think of someone who is not confident or with low self-esteem we often picture them looking down. Looking up takes effort.

There is a familiar hymn that says this, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace."

What strikes me in this chorus is that common theme, when our eyes are fixed upon Jesus, worldly "things" do not matter to us anymore, or as the hymn says, the "things will grow strangely dim".

Hebrews 12:1-2 says this, "Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and protector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

*Annie in typical attire. Cowboy boots and a dress.*

I am a problem-solution type of girl. I see that this is frequently my problem: My eyes are too often fixed on the things of this world, instead of on Jesus. So, what is the solution? What can we do in our lives to continually be looking to Jesus?

Well, one thing I thought of is memorizing scripture. Annie and Abbey are so good at this. Just today we were going over some verses that we had memorized and I said something wrong and Annie thought it was just hilarious that I said the wrong thing!

Okay, so we memorize Scripture to have the Word of God continually on our brain. Definitely reading the Bible everyday is helpful because you are spending that time in God's word. Of course, in dept Bible studies are awesome. TALKING about God and "spiritual" things on a regular basis, with your kids, with your spouse with your neighbors, with everyone!! One thing that I love about living in the USA is that we have access to Christian radio. I try to have either WDAC or WJTL playing on the kitchen stereo during the day. The girls even sing the theme song to "Walk in the Word" and know that when Dr. Tony Evans comes on we should be eating lunch. =)

*Abbey enjoying a bubble bath in her swim suit*

Something else that I really like is having some "rules" to use as guardrails to keep us straight everyday. I got this idea from a woman who came to speak at my mom's group last year. Click to see her "List of Rules to Live By". I made one of these lists of rules using the same scripture Bonni uses from Romans 12. Our "Hess Rules" say: love must be sincere, Hate what is evil, Be devoted to one another, Honor one another above yourselves, Never be lacking in zeal, Be joyful in hope, Be patient in affliction, Be faithful in prayer, Share with God's people, Practice hospitality, Live in harmony.

I keep this hanging in our dining room and I glance at it several times during the day. As I read over this list I am reminded of things that I need to model for my children. Specifically "Practice Hospitality". When we first remodeled our kitchen we did so well with having people over on a regular basis, but that stopped after we had Magdalena. I know that I need to get back in to the habit of having someone different over each month.

So thanks to the Airport Diner ladies who invited me to come and share with them. I probably learned more than you. :)

*Seriously, can this girl get any cuter??*

All About Abbey

Another milestone. Abbey turned two on April 18. I realize this is belated, but that is the way things are in our house these days.



Abbey's Stats: She is 32 1/4 inches tall (5th percentile, only grew 1/4 inch in the past 6 months), and she weighs 21 pounds (5th percentile, 1 pound gained in the past 6 months).

*Don't you love those toes??*

Things Abbey loves: her sisters! She loves following Annie around and imitating everything big sister does. She likes talking to baby Maggie and as soon as Maggie wakes up from a nap Abbey will say, "I go talk to her!" and will run upstairs to climb into Magdalena's crib to talk to her. Abbey loves The Berenstain Bears (books & videos). Her favorite character is "Brother Bear" and often when we say, "Abbey, it's time to get in your seat to eat" she will say, "No, I'm Brother Bear." Her favorite animal is an owl. My grandparents (her great-Nana & Grampa) sent her the book "Owl Babies" for her birthday. I never knew it but my Grampa also really likes owls, so they gave her one of his books. It's a really cute story about three little owls. You can read about it here. Her favorite part is when the little owl says "I want my mommy!!" =)




Abbey continues to wear her glasses. We have also had to start patching her good eye for 2 hours a day in order to make her weak eye stronger. She usually does pretty well with it, but sometimes I have to offer her a jelly bean to get her to keep it on the full 2 hours.




Abbey is very definitely in the "terrible twos". Just this morning she wanted to push the doll stroller that Annie was pushing. She kept saying, "I had it first!" but I was there, and she did not have it first. She was chasing Anne down and when Anne stopped Abbey bit her arm hard enough to make a ring of teeth marks. So, I had to give her a swat and put her in her room until she could tell me why she was in there. It took 2 or 3 times of me going in before she had calmed herself down enough to tell me that she was in her room because she bit Annie. Then she apologized, Anne readily forgave her, and they moved on as if nothing happened.



My least favorite part of parenting (thus far) is potty training. I was so terrible at it with Annie, and I'm not sure of the best way to approach it. My good friend told me that she would only use underwear, never pull-ups, because it confuses them. So, I know I just have to take the plunge, and do it, and deal with the pee and poop. I just love when they are 3 - 3 1/2 years old and can go themselves.... of course, they have to get there somehow. We'll make it!



Abbey can also write the letter "A". The first time she did it was a month before she turned 2. (And I thought Anne was a genius when she did it 2 months after she turned 2). She was coloring with markers and said, "up, down, across". And sure enough, I looked and she had already written about 5 "A"s all over her paper. When I got really excited about it she quick colored them all in! What a little stinker!! But, she does them willingly now. I love that I can be at home and celebrate each little thing that my kids do. What a blessing!



We are definitely enjoying every moment with our little Abigail Frances and are looking forward to the future years of watching her grow and mature. My prayer for Abbey is that she will grow in her knowledge of the Lord and that one day she will receive Him as her Savior!



And, finally, a special "thank you" to my sister, Stacy, for taking Abbey's wonderful pictures! Gotta love those "candid" photos!!