A day like Today

This morning as I got out of bed Trent gave me that dreaded warning about our 3-year-old's behavior. "She's in rare form this morning."

After he left for work all three children were playing nicely together and I got to have a few minutes by myself. As I sipped my first cup of coffee I prayed for the children, for our busy day ahead, and for grace. It's really a common theme in this house. I have received much (from God, my husband and the children), and this morning I really felt the need to pray for grace: that I can show it to the children and that I can receive it as well.

Breakfast went smoothly as the children downed their zucchini muffins (2 for Anne, 1 1/2 for Abbey and 3 for Magdalena). Can you tell who is going to grow?

As we went upstairs to prepare for the day, Abbey asked if they could play in the "foster care room". I don't typically allow them in that room because it makes more of a mess for me to clean up. Also, they have developed a bad habit of pushing the toddler bed close to the crib; then climbing into the crib and jumping off the crib rail onto the toddler bed. Not really the safest game in the world, and they are frequently told not to do this. Anyway, I succumbed to the whining 3-year-old (by the way-- what are terrible twos compared to threes?). I quickly checked my email and facebook when I heard thumping coming from the other room. I go over to find Abbey jumping onto the toddler bed and one of the wooden slats under the bed broken in half.

I was not happy. But "not happy" really is too gentle to describe how I felt and my ensuing actions. If I can be honest with you, I was angry; very very angry.

I scolded severely. Okay, I'll admit it, I yelled. I sent them to their room and I yelled some more. I attempted to shame them by telling them our foster child will not have a bed to sleep in and how would that make them feel.

Then... Abbey pointed her finger at me and "pcew" shot me with her finger gun. I was so angry!! How dare she do that while I'm punishing her?? Then Maggie followed her lead and did the same thing. I yelled some more.

A voice of an angel chimed in and said, "Mommy. Mama. I know you're upset and you're very angry, but you need to have some self-control. Just take a deep breath and have some self-control. I know it's hard, but just relax."

Could these words really have just come from my almost 5-year-old who also struggles with self-control?

They were, of course, the words I needed to hear. I stopped, I took a deep breath. But I wasn't ready to ask their forgiveness. However, my 3-year-old was quick to repent and ask me to forgive her for disobeying and for breaking the bed. I said I forgave her and I put a video on for the children to watch so I could take a quick shower.

I prayed and prayed and prayed in the shower. My morning prayer came back to me.  Over and over I heard the word repeated, grace, grace, grace, grace. It's easy to pray for it, it's much harder to act on it.

My soul calmed, I regained my composure, our day moved on.

A stop at Cherry Hill for peaches, a stop to deliver a meal, another stop to deliver another meal. The children were patient. They love car rides.

Home again for lunch. As I was preparing food for the children I thought over our morning. I knew I needed to ask for their forgiveness. I came to the table and humbled myself before my children. Will they please forgive me for not having self-control this morning and for yelling at them? They forgave me. Abbey again apologized for breaking the bed. I forgave her.

Anne reminded me of how difficult it is to be good and obey all the time. She said when we go to heaven we'll always obey and be good.  And won't that be nice because it is so hard to have self-control.

You see, this Anne-girl is a part of me. She has part of my sin-nature. The desire to obey God, yet it is just so difficult at times. We lose self-control.

I think back to the years before I became a Christian and at all the times I was angry and had no self-control. It was a common theme in  my life. And yet, "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)




If that's not a picture of grace, I don't know what is.


Have you extended grace to someone today?