Four daughters. Four precious little women. God has given me a huge task in giving me these four ladies. Raising four girls in an American culture that screams at them: DIET, EXERCISE, ORGANIC, GLUTEN-FREE, YOU'RE FAT, YOU'RE TOO SKINNY, DON'T EAT THAT. Not to mention the images of women that will be portrayed to them through media; magazines at the check-out counter, the internet, movies. And of course, the most influential and damaging of all, friends and family.
We love our family. Really and truly, we do! But even the most loving family member can say words that can injure a child, especially a female child. Some things that I have heard said to my children are, "You're too skinny, you need to eat more." "Look at your fat belly."
I then heard my child repeat those things about herself. "I'm fat." And I run in and try to do damage control. NO, you are NOT fat!! You are three-years-old!!
We live in a society obsessed with body types. Thick, thin, skinny, fat, obese. Any of these can be unhealthy.
For two years I lived in Mississippi, the "fattest of the fifty states". While living there I became disgusted with a culture of gluttony and all-you-can-eat buffets. Then I come back to living in Pennsylvania, and many of my Facebook friends are the complete opposite - super-skinny, gym obsessed females.
I am trying to teach my daughters that there is a happy medium between these two extremes. I try to feed my children healthy food, a variety of fruits, vegetables, meat, dairy, and grains. But we also eat fast food on occasion, and we eat something sweet after almost every dinner. Moderation is key.
Also, please don't pick yourself apart in front of my children. If you are really that concerned about your "chub" sticking out over your pants, do something about it. Don't mention it in front of my little girls. I have no desire to have my six-year-old stay in her size 6 pants. She is growing! She NEEDS to find that her clothes are too tight or too short so that she can grow appropriately into a young woman.
What are ways that you find helpful to raising daughters to have a healthy body image?
We aren't at this stage yet in our home since Elena is so young, but growing up in a house where there was no scale was huge for me. I also remember my mom telling me to not worry about a number on a scale but to focus on being healthy. I never got hooked on an ideal weight and so now I am never concerned about what I weigh. That is something I want to pass on to my children.
ReplyDeleteWe also do not have a scale in our home. As you know, I have 3 daughters and am also concerned about the same things as my child's body image. I don't dwell on what other say in front of my girls but try and teach them how to handle what they see and hear. The world is the world and you cant change it. I try to teach them how to react. When one of my girls say, "I'm fat" or "I'm to skinny" I sort of go through a list of questions with them. I ask them, are they active, do they eat healthy, are they happy. I tell them EVERYONE is different and life would be boring if we all were exactly alike. I remind them to treat themselves and others for the person they are on the inside not what size they wear on the outside because when it comes down to it thats all that truely matters. I also remind them how sometimes certain words said can make someone feel bad about themselves and to treat people how they want to be treated....I know its alot at once but it all work together. Your a good mom Emily, your doing an awesome job!
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