Hey friends! Just wanted to give everyone a quick update on our adoption.
Friday, May 20 we received immigration approval for our daughter to immigrate to the US! Hooray!
Unfortunately, we still need to have the immigration document certified and authenticated. This will take about five more weeks.
Wonderfully, this is the LAST piece of paper we need before our Dossier (huge pile of information on our family and all the things we have ever done in our lives) can be sent to China. Hopefully our Dossier will be in China the first week of July.
Once our Dossier is in China we wait for our referral, which is a formal way of saying our DAUGHTER and all her medical information and her photograph. We aren't exactly sure how long this wait will be. It can be 5-6 months or sometimes a little longer.
Once we accept our referral we have a bunch more paperwork to do before we can travel to China. Usually travel is 4-6 months after referral.
Thank you all for sharing in our joy and excitement. We do have a fundraiser planned for this summer that we are excited about and it is open to the public.
More information can be found here: Ice Cream Social Fundraiser
If at any time you feel led to give a donation you can message me for our address to send a check. Or we also have a YouCaring page which you can find here: Bringing Home Little Sister
Thank you, thank you!
xoxo,
Mama Hess
Saturday, May 21, 2016
Monday, May 9, 2016
Mother's Sacrifice
Yesterday was Mother's Day, and our pastor had a sermon unlike any other I've heard on Mother's Day. One particular passage stuck out to me. Most of you are probably familiar with the story of King Solomon's display of wisdom in handling the situation of two prostitutes who came to him with a complaint. As the passage is short, I include it here for you now to read again quickly.
19 “During the night this woman’s son died because she lay on him. 20 So she got up in the middle of the night and took my son from my side while I your servant was asleep. She put him by her breast and put her dead son by my breast. 21 The next morning, I got up to nurse my son—and he was dead! But when I looked at him closely in the morning light, I saw that it wasn’t the son I had borne.”
22 The other woman said, “No! The living one is my son; the dead one is yours.”
But the first one insisted, “No! The dead one is yours; the living one is mine.” And so they argued before the king.
23 The king said, “This one says, ‘My son is alive and your son is dead,’ while that one says, ‘No! Your son is dead and mine is alive.’”
24 Then the king said, “Bring me a sword.” So they brought a sword for the king. 25 He then gave an order: “Cut the living child in two and give half to one and half to the other.”
26 The woman whose son was alive was deeply moved out of love for her son and said to the king, “Please, my lord, give her the living baby! Don’t kill him!”
But the other said, “Neither I nor you shall have him. Cut him in two!”
27 Then the king gave his ruling: “Give the living baby to the first woman. Do not kill him; she is his mother.”
28 When all Israel heard the verdict the king had given, they held the king in awe, because they saw that he had wisdom from God to administer justice.
As you can imagine, it was an interesting choice of Scripture for Mother's Day. And maybe I've heard this before, but this year it really hit home in a new way. I think it's hard for most of us American moms to consider the physical giving up of a child, let alone to a woman you live with who is apparently quite devious. Yet the true mother in the story was willing to sacrifice her own feelings and emotions in order that her child might have life.
I believe this struck me as profound because that is what our "birth mom" is doing/has done. Most likely, she was unable to keep her daughter because of a medical condition that she could not afford to treat. So she does what she believes best. She places her infant daughter in a place where she believes she will be found quickly in order that she can receive the medical care necessary that she can have life. Or the social stigma of having a child with a special need in China is so intense that she believes it best for her child to be placed in an orphanage. Again, I think we can't fully comprehend this as Americans. But I'd like for us to try. If we knew or thought we knew that our child could die if they stay in our home, would we not do whatever we could that they could have life? And while it seems extreme, this is the choice thousands of people around the world face.
Thankfully, most of the people reading this won't ever have to make a decision so intense. Yet on smaller levels, moms do sacrifice for their children. I read two wonderful blog posts yesterday that friends have written about their moms. The thing I love about these two moms is that they are SO completely different. And both daughters have wonderful things to say about their moms.
First: Patsy. A cookie-baking, soccer mom extraordinaire.
Mama Patsy
Next: Edie. A no-nonsense, fun-loving, director.
Mama Edie
So as this younger generation of moms rises up, I hope that we can remember that we are different. We have different skill sets. We aren't all going to make delicious cookies. Some of us might make terrible jello. We might not all have the gumption to speak our minds. Some of us are going to be softer. And that's okay. Regardless of our skills, I think we all make sacrifices for our children. While some might be very larger, others will be seemingly small and insignificant. And while it may take those children twenty or thirty years to understand why you parent them the way they do, I think they will understand someday.
1 Kings 3:16-28(NIV)
16 Now two prostitutes came to the king and stood before him. 17 One of them said, “Pardon me, my lord. This woman and I live in the same house, and I had a baby while she was there with me. 18 The third day after my child was born, this woman also had a baby. We were alone; there was no one in the house but the two of us.19 “During the night this woman’s son died because she lay on him. 20 So she got up in the middle of the night and took my son from my side while I your servant was asleep. She put him by her breast and put her dead son by my breast. 21 The next morning, I got up to nurse my son—and he was dead! But when I looked at him closely in the morning light, I saw that it wasn’t the son I had borne.”
22 The other woman said, “No! The living one is my son; the dead one is yours.”
But the first one insisted, “No! The dead one is yours; the living one is mine.” And so they argued before the king.
23 The king said, “This one says, ‘My son is alive and your son is dead,’ while that one says, ‘No! Your son is dead and mine is alive.’”
24 Then the king said, “Bring me a sword.” So they brought a sword for the king. 25 He then gave an order: “Cut the living child in two and give half to one and half to the other.”
26 The woman whose son was alive was deeply moved out of love for her son and said to the king, “Please, my lord, give her the living baby! Don’t kill him!”
But the other said, “Neither I nor you shall have him. Cut him in two!”
27 Then the king gave his ruling: “Give the living baby to the first woman. Do not kill him; she is his mother.”
28 When all Israel heard the verdict the king had given, they held the king in awe, because they saw that he had wisdom from God to administer justice.
As you can imagine, it was an interesting choice of Scripture for Mother's Day. And maybe I've heard this before, but this year it really hit home in a new way. I think it's hard for most of us American moms to consider the physical giving up of a child, let alone to a woman you live with who is apparently quite devious. Yet the true mother in the story was willing to sacrifice her own feelings and emotions in order that her child might have life.
I believe this struck me as profound because that is what our "birth mom" is doing/has done. Most likely, she was unable to keep her daughter because of a medical condition that she could not afford to treat. So she does what she believes best. She places her infant daughter in a place where she believes she will be found quickly in order that she can receive the medical care necessary that she can have life. Or the social stigma of having a child with a special need in China is so intense that she believes it best for her child to be placed in an orphanage. Again, I think we can't fully comprehend this as Americans. But I'd like for us to try. If we knew or thought we knew that our child could die if they stay in our home, would we not do whatever we could that they could have life? And while it seems extreme, this is the choice thousands of people around the world face.
Thankfully, most of the people reading this won't ever have to make a decision so intense. Yet on smaller levels, moms do sacrifice for their children. I read two wonderful blog posts yesterday that friends have written about their moms. The thing I love about these two moms is that they are SO completely different. And both daughters have wonderful things to say about their moms.
First: Patsy. A cookie-baking, soccer mom extraordinaire.
Mama Patsy
Next: Edie. A no-nonsense, fun-loving, director.
Mama Edie
So as this younger generation of moms rises up, I hope that we can remember that we are different. We have different skill sets. We aren't all going to make delicious cookies. Some of us might make terrible jello. We might not all have the gumption to speak our minds. Some of us are going to be softer. And that's okay. Regardless of our skills, I think we all make sacrifices for our children. While some might be very larger, others will be seemingly small and insignificant. And while it may take those children twenty or thirty years to understand why you parent them the way they do, I think they will understand someday.
Friday, April 15, 2016
Now What?
Friends. You have all humbled me. Yesterday when I posted about our Home Study in my hands I was hoping you'd share in my excitement. And you did! And you all went SO far above and beyond that I was literally brought to tears.
Unless you have been through an international adoption or know someone who has, you might not know what comes next. Now that we have our completed, notarized copies of our home study we file for immigration. Then we wait up to three months for that to process. We will also need to have a special appointment made for biometric fingerprints (I don't even know what that means, but I'll tell you when I do).
From there we are mostly done with our side of the paperwork. We will need to pay $4,250 before our dossier can be sent to China (maybe July/August?). That cost will cover the paperwork that our agency has done for us, along with the fee for the agency processing our dossier paperwork.
I know it may sound cliche, but we really do want you to pray for us. As Matthew 17:20 says, "He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
If you think of us, please pray for the mountains to move! I can't stress enough that your contributions are literally changing the life of a child. The life of our little girl. If you feel led to help financially I have several options for you.
1. A direct donation through our YouCaring page : Bringing Home Little Sister
2. A kind, and generous friend has offered a portion of the sales of this "HOPE" necklace to our adoption. Again, you guys blow me away! Ordering info can be found on the image below.
3. Mama Hess Shirts! (Gotta give a shout out to FoxDuck Printing who made these super comfy shirts for me!) Shirts are $16 and exactly half of that will go towards our adoption. Again, I was surprised at the response I received and am nearly sold out. I can order more if people are interested. Sizes that are available as of 4/15/16 are: (Womens) 1 small, 1 medium, 2 larges, and 1 XL. (Mens) 1 small, 1 medium, 1 large. Please contact me through my Facebook page to get your size.
So friends, that's it for now! I will, of course, keep you updated on the progress of the remaining paperwork and as we get closer to being matched with our daughter!
Lots of love,
Mama Hess
Unless you have been through an international adoption or know someone who has, you might not know what comes next. Now that we have our completed, notarized copies of our home study we file for immigration. Then we wait up to three months for that to process. We will also need to have a special appointment made for biometric fingerprints (I don't even know what that means, but I'll tell you when I do).
From there we are mostly done with our side of the paperwork. We will need to pay $4,250 before our dossier can be sent to China (maybe July/August?). That cost will cover the paperwork that our agency has done for us, along with the fee for the agency processing our dossier paperwork.
I know it may sound cliche, but we really do want you to pray for us. As Matthew 17:20 says, "He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
If you think of us, please pray for the mountains to move! I can't stress enough that your contributions are literally changing the life of a child. The life of our little girl. If you feel led to help financially I have several options for you.
1. A direct donation through our YouCaring page : Bringing Home Little Sister
2. A kind, and generous friend has offered a portion of the sales of this "HOPE" necklace to our adoption. Again, you guys blow me away! Ordering info can be found on the image below.
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| Notarized Home Study copies!! |
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Lots of love,
Mama Hess
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Tempe, Arizona
I had the opportunity to tag along with Trent to a conference being held in Tempe, Arizona. In the beginning of March. Just when you can't stand winter any longer in Pennsylvania. We flew out of Philadelphia's airport at a brisk 32 degrees and touched down in Phoenix's Sky Harbor Airport at a lovely 80 degrees. It felt like Heaven.
We stayed at the Tempe Mission Palms hotel. I can't even tell you how lovely this hotel was. But I'll try. Open your door to a beautiful open-air courtyard full of palm trees, orange trees full of oranges, and the most deliciously fresh, clean scent you can imagine. The room itself was also nice, recently updated. The pool was on the second floor, a roof pool over looking shiny buildings on one side and a desert mountain on the other.
The main reason (other than the obvious escape from the cold) I wanted to go was the chance to visit my grandparents. They live in Clarkdale, Arizona, about 2 hours away from Tempe. My Grandpa (78) made arrangements for someone to cover for him at his job at the hospital (he does valet parking at the hospital), and my Nana (72) communicated with me on the timing of it all. They were very generous and helped pay my way to them since they knew we were trying to be super careful with our spending as we plan for the huge expense of our adoption. I was thrilled for a chance to spend a full day with them.
The last time I saw both of them, Magdalena was just three weeks old, and I was still recovering from the c-section and the whirlwind of adding a third child under age three to our family. I was not fortunate to grow up with any grandparents living in the same state as my family. My family is originally from California, but we moved to Pennsylvania when I was four years old, leaving behind aunts, uncles, cousins, and both sets of grandparents. I remember well the angst of "grandparent's day" at school, knowing that mine would never be there. I feel extremely grateful that we were able to drive out west multiple times during my childhood to see family and they were able to come see us a few times as well. I'm very grateful that my daughters can get to know their grandparents very well.
Even though I didn't get to see them often, the feelings and memories are alive. When Nana and Grandpa stepped out of their car it was like no time had passed at all since I last saw them. What a treat to have them all to myself!
We sat in the courtyard and chatted for a couple of hours, then made our way to Macayo's for lunch. Legend has it they are the unintentional inventor of the chimichanga (deep-fried burrito). The story goes that a burrito was accidentally dropped into the deep frier, and out came the chimichanga. The rest is history. Obviously I had to have one. With guacamole. Because you're in Arizona. So you need a margarita to go with it. What a lunch!
Next we drove outside of Tempe for some sight seeing. Grandpa didn't get us lost at all. ;) We had a nice scenic view of the botanical gardens and even drove past the zoo. It was getting too hot for us to walk around at this point.
We went back to the hotel to get some water and lemonade and a piece of carrot cake. Trent was able to get out of his classes from 5-6 so he hung out with us for a little while. At 6 Trent had to go back for a cocktail hour and dinner. My grandparents still had a two hour drive home so they headed out. It was sad to see them go, but what a wonderful day we had.
Friday I was on my own as Trent had to be at his conference. I walked to Starbucks at 10 am for a late, delicious breakfast. The weather was just perfect. I enjoyed walking down the streets, not a care in the world, and perfect temperatures.
Tempe seems to be a very young city. Everything was bright and clean, although there were a lot of homeless people. After leisurely strolling around I headed back to the hotel to hang out by the pool. I caught up on my Bible study, relaxed, listened to podcasts, and swam.
Trent joined me there when his lunch was over.
I ate a nice big salad from the Pool Grille. After more swimming and more relaxing we headed back to our room.
After cooling off and drinking lots of water we headed out for a hike to the little mountain we could see from the pool. It was a nice climb with many beautiful cacti. There was a gorgeous view of the city and our hotel on one side, and the other side was the suburbs and more red mountains. It was just lovely.
That night we went to an Irish Pub Trent had seen and wanted to take me to. Unfortunately, well, it was Irish (my mom's side of the family is Irish). And, I just had to chuckle because in some ways it reminded me of what a family reunion would be like. Loud. Lots of laughing, lots of loud talking. Definitely not Trent's scene.
But the food was awesome, and of course I had to have some sort of Irish coffee. I went with the "Nutty Irishman". Warmed me right up!
We again walked the streets of Tempe. Found these candy cigarettes in a Sweet Shoppe. Am I the only person who loved these as a kid yet never smoked a real cigarette in my life???
We ended the night by sitting in the courtyard of the hotel, enjoying just being together in a beautiful place. I'm so grateful to Trent's parents for watching the girls, my grandparents for helping make it happen, and Trent's job for letting me tag along. I really believe that one of the best gifts we can give our children is to show them what a strong marriage looks like. For me, that means occasionally getting away with my husband, so that when the kids are grown and out of the house we still know who each other are and still have a strong bond and connection.
So if you ever go to visit Tempe, Arizona in March, just be prepared that you might not want to go back home.
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| Front of Tempe Mission Palms |
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| Orange trees right out our door! |
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| Courtyard view |
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Even though I didn't get to see them often, the feelings and memories are alive. When Nana and Grandpa stepped out of their car it was like no time had passed at all since I last saw them. What a treat to have them all to myself!
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| Selfie with my Nana! |
We sat in the courtyard and chatted for a couple of hours, then made our way to Macayo's for lunch. Legend has it they are the unintentional inventor of the chimichanga (deep-fried burrito). The story goes that a burrito was accidentally dropped into the deep frier, and out came the chimichanga. The rest is history. Obviously I had to have one. With guacamole. Because you're in Arizona. So you need a margarita to go with it. What a lunch!
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| Macayo's with my grandparents! |
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| What a treasure these people are! |
Next we drove outside of Tempe for some sight seeing. Grandpa didn't get us lost at all. ;) We had a nice scenic view of the botanical gardens and even drove past the zoo. It was getting too hot for us to walk around at this point.
 |
Friday I was on my own as Trent had to be at his conference. I walked to Starbucks at 10 am for a late, delicious breakfast. The weather was just perfect. I enjoyed walking down the streets, not a care in the world, and perfect temperatures.
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| Totally turned into one of "those" people who takes pictures of their food. Haha! |
Tempe seems to be a very young city. Everything was bright and clean, although there were a lot of homeless people. After leisurely strolling around I headed back to the hotel to hang out by the pool. I caught up on my Bible study, relaxed, listened to podcasts, and swam.
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| Bible Study with a view! |
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| Watching my man swim :: weird leg pic. |
I ate a nice big salad from the Pool Grille. After more swimming and more relaxing we headed back to our room.
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| Another food pic - but Oh man! I wish I could eat this salad again! |
After cooling off and drinking lots of water we headed out for a hike to the little mountain we could see from the pool. It was a nice climb with many beautiful cacti. There was a gorgeous view of the city and our hotel on one side, and the other side was the suburbs and more red mountains. It was just lovely.
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| The little mountain we climbed (view from the pool, of course!) |
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| "Mountain" top selfie |
That night we went to an Irish Pub Trent had seen and wanted to take me to. Unfortunately, well, it was Irish (my mom's side of the family is Irish). And, I just had to chuckle because in some ways it reminded me of what a family reunion would be like. Loud. Lots of laughing, lots of loud talking. Definitely not Trent's scene.
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| Had to wear a fringe dress while I was in Arizona! |
But the food was awesome, and of course I had to have some sort of Irish coffee. I went with the "Nutty Irishman". Warmed me right up!
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| Me and my Nutty Irishman! |
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| Wanted to buy them for the girls - Trent said, "no!" |
So if you ever go to visit Tempe, Arizona in March, just be prepared that you might not want to go back home.
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| Love this man! |
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Adoption Update
Hey friends. If you haven't heard by now, we're adopting!! For the full story, go back one post and read and the details!
Several of you have been asking how things are going and where we're at right now in the process. Our application was filed on January 4. It is now March 10, so we are just over two months into this (typically the process takes 18-24 months). We have had all of our home study documents in place for about one month. We have had both of our home visits from our social worker. We are still waiting on one document that was misplaced or lost somewhere along the line (a clearance from when I lived in Mississippi). Once that is in and our social worker is able to connect with our local children and youth office to review our home study from when we were foster parents, THEN our home study should be written up, reviewed and finalized. Our social worker is hoping that she will have her first write up for us to review on Monday, March 14. However, she was having some difficulty getting in contact with Children and Youth. I'm hopeful that by the end of March we will have our home study finalized.
As we have had these documents in place for awhile we began plowing ahead to gather the necessary paperwork for our dossier (another set of papers which will be sent to China). At this point we are waiting for one more reference and need to get one more paper notarized. Once we have those two things we will send that packet of papers to our agency's main branch in Oregon. We have opted to have them process all the dossier paperwork to get the special certifications and authentications. These things are very confusing and involve considerable amounts of time. For their fee we felt this was certainly worth it. I'm hoping to get the notary done on Saturday and it just depends when our friend gets time to write our last referral letter. Hopefully I will be sending these documents to Oregon next week.
So, to make a long story short, we're closing in on the paperwork part of our journey! That is a huge weight off our shoulders. There will still be some paperwork (filing for immigration, etc.), but mostly there will be waiting.
While we wait for paperwork to process and eventually we will be waiting to be matched with our daughter we will be doing some fundraising. As many of you know, adoption is very expensive, we were told to budget approximately $35,000. I'll post more about fundraising at a later date. For now, I'd absolutely love if you would PRAY for our remaining paperwork to go through smoothly, and for our daughter in China. Although we aren't matched with her yet, more than likely she has been born recently. We would love if you would pray for her birth family as well as her current caretakers.
Thanks, everyone!
xoxo,
Mama Hess
Several of you have been asking how things are going and where we're at right now in the process. Our application was filed on January 4. It is now March 10, so we are just over two months into this (typically the process takes 18-24 months). We have had all of our home study documents in place for about one month. We have had both of our home visits from our social worker. We are still waiting on one document that was misplaced or lost somewhere along the line (a clearance from when I lived in Mississippi). Once that is in and our social worker is able to connect with our local children and youth office to review our home study from when we were foster parents, THEN our home study should be written up, reviewed and finalized. Our social worker is hoping that she will have her first write up for us to review on Monday, March 14. However, she was having some difficulty getting in contact with Children and Youth. I'm hopeful that by the end of March we will have our home study finalized.
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| Can't wait until Little Sister is the one on Anne's lap! |
So, to make a long story short, we're closing in on the paperwork part of our journey! That is a huge weight off our shoulders. There will still be some paperwork (filing for immigration, etc.), but mostly there will be waiting.
While we wait for paperwork to process and eventually we will be waiting to be matched with our daughter we will be doing some fundraising. As many of you know, adoption is very expensive, we were told to budget approximately $35,000. I'll post more about fundraising at a later date. For now, I'd absolutely love if you would PRAY for our remaining paperwork to go through smoothly, and for our daughter in China. Although we aren't matched with her yet, more than likely she has been born recently. We would love if you would pray for her birth family as well as her current caretakers.
Thanks, everyone!
xoxo,
Saturday, February 13, 2016
The year of Hope :: Explained
Friends, I've been holding out on you. I apologize. I'm terrible at keeping secrets and this is such a big one.
But maybe you can guess.
I'm not getting enough sleep.
And I am going to lots of appointments.
And if you catch me on a good day you might say I'm glowing. (On not so good days I might be crying).
Friends, I am beyond thrilled to announce to you all that our family is growing.
We are in the midst of mountains of paperwork and clearances, and FBI fingerprints, and birth certificates and more paperwork.
We are adopting!
This song has been one that has been really meaningful to me: No Longer Slaves // I am especially encouraged by the words "You split the sea so I could walk right through it". I have been praying for the "seas of paperwork" to split so we can walk right through. And I believe that is happening!
So this year, 2016: the year of Hope, our hope is focused on our adoption.
I'm going to answer some of the questions that I've been asked so far.
1. Q. Where are you adopting from (domestic/international).
A. We are adopting internationally from China.
2. Q. So you are you finally going to have a boy??
A. No. Although there is a great need in China for families to adopt boys, after much prayer and consideration we have decided on another girl.
3. Q. How old will she be?
A. We don't really know - probably about two years old when we bring her home.
4. Q. How long does it take?
A. About two years. China has a very steady, predictable program, and the current time frame for girls is about two years. Based on that, we anticipate bringing our daughter home January, 2018.
5. Q. Do you have to go to China?
A. Yes. We will go to China to bring our daughter home and will be out of the country for about two weeks.
6. Q. Why go to China when there are children in the United States who need families?
A. This is a tough one. As many of you know we did foster care a few years ago. Not all children who are in foster care will be adopted, in fact, many of them won't. We felt that the back and forth (between visits to birth family and special appointments) was too difficult for our family and would rather settle in with one child who we can help to nurture and grow.
7. Q. So you're adopting a healthy infant girl? (Actually this isn't usually a question because it is assumed).
A. While this used to be the norm for China adoptions it is no longer the case. In fact, there are more boys than girls who need families in China right now. And all the children who need families right now are special needs. Special needs may be something such as cleft lip, cleft palate, webbed fingers, or a birth mark. There are many other special needs many which are easily manageable and/or correctable.
Anything I missed? Please feel free to ask questions. I'm not politically correct so don't worry if you feel like you don't have the "right language" to ask. I'm happy to answer any questions you may have.
Enjoy this live version of Hillsong United singing "Oceans". Such a lovely song that has been an encouragement to me during this process so far.
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| Spirit lead me Available in my shop: HERE |
I'm not getting enough sleep.
And I am going to lots of appointments.
And if you catch me on a good day you might say I'm glowing. (On not so good days I might be crying).
Friends, I am beyond thrilled to announce to you all that our family is growing.
 |
| Wood flash card available in my shop: HERE |
We are in the midst of mountains of paperwork and clearances, and FBI fingerprints, and birth certificates and more paperwork.
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| I cried when this came in the mail. |
This song has been one that has been really meaningful to me: No Longer Slaves // I am especially encouraged by the words "You split the sea so I could walk right through it". I have been praying for the "seas of paperwork" to split so we can walk right through. And I believe that is happening!
So this year, 2016: the year of Hope, our hope is focused on our adoption.
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| Add caption |
1. Q. Where are you adopting from (domestic/international).
A. We are adopting internationally from China.
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| Big sister, Caroline finding China on the globe |
2. Q. So you are you finally going to have a boy??
A. No. Although there is a great need in China for families to adopt boys, after much prayer and consideration we have decided on another girl.
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| Just as the other girls kissed my belly when pregnant, Caroline is kissing "Little Sister" on the globe. |
3. Q. How old will she be?
A. We don't really know - probably about two years old when we bring her home.
4. Q. How long does it take?
A. About two years. China has a very steady, predictable program, and the current time frame for girls is about two years. Based on that, we anticipate bringing our daughter home January, 2018.
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| These ladies are all so excited to have another sister! I'll need a new hashtag: #hessgirlsx5 |
5. Q. Do you have to go to China?
A. Yes. We will go to China to bring our daughter home and will be out of the country for about two weeks.
6. Q. Why go to China when there are children in the United States who need families?
A. This is a tough one. As many of you know we did foster care a few years ago. Not all children who are in foster care will be adopted, in fact, many of them won't. We felt that the back and forth (between visits to birth family and special appointments) was too difficult for our family and would rather settle in with one child who we can help to nurture and grow.
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| Maggie is a natural little Mommy. She's eager to meet her sister and prays for her and her birth mom. |
7. Q. So you're adopting a healthy infant girl? (Actually this isn't usually a question because it is assumed).
A. While this used to be the norm for China adoptions it is no longer the case. In fact, there are more boys than girls who need families in China right now. And all the children who need families right now are special needs. Special needs may be something such as cleft lip, cleft palate, webbed fingers, or a birth mark. There are many other special needs many which are easily manageable and/or correctable.
Anything I missed? Please feel free to ask questions. I'm not politically correct so don't worry if you feel like you don't have the "right language" to ask. I'm happy to answer any questions you may have.
Enjoy this live version of Hillsong United singing "Oceans". Such a lovely song that has been an encouragement to me during this process so far.
Friday, February 5, 2016
{UN} Inhibitited
I'm not really much of a crier. I used to be, back when I was a tween and teen. I think I cried buckets at age 12. Thankfully those emotions settled significantly by the time I got married at 20.
Yesterday I was scrolling through Instagram hashtags, and I'm not exactly sure how I stumbled on it, but I came across a personal IG of a home school mom. She was sharing about her daughter who just turned 13 and how she has maintained so much of her innocence by being home schooled.
Friends, if you knew me, really knew me, back in high school I'm sure you find it extremely bizarre the way I am talking now. But I want to attempt to convey something that was so beautiful to me that it brought me to tears, like actual tears flowing from my eyeballs. At dinner last evening as I was explaining it to Trent I had to stop talking because I was sure I would start crying and not be able to stop.
First, let me just preface this by saying that home school is NOT for everyone. PLEASE do not take what I am going to say as a personal judgement against your decision for whatever schooling you have chosen for your children. I know so many people love the schools they are a part of, and I celebrate that with you! So please do not take my words in the wrong way. Instead, celebrate with me. All of us parents are just doing the best we can with what we have been given. Thanks! :)
As a middle and high schooler I had limited experience with kids who were home schooled. In general, I thought they were weird. I don't know where I got this idea but regardless, it was there. I had this preconceived notion that home school = weird. I didn't want weird; I wanted to fit in. However, when you are trying so hard to fit in with everybody else, you lose so much of who YOU are. I was constantly comparing myself to other girls, modeling my speech, hair, clothes, athletic ability, test scores, etc. against everyone else. If someone I thought was "cool" was taking photography, then I tried it, too. And here's the clincher, even if I had NO interest in the subject I would do it just to try to keep up and fit in with everyone else. It was exhausting. And it was not fun. Some of my worst grades in school came from taking classes I had zero interest in but signed up because "everyone else was doing it". Cliche, but true.
This week I have been slammed with several unexpected gifts of homeschooling. I'd love to share some of them with you!
1. Limited stress :: there is so much stress associated with school these days. I was talking with my former Kindergarten teacher a couple of weeks ago. She still teaches "Kindergarten" but what they now call Kindergarten is what used to be first grade. There is so much pressure to push kids forward into levels of thinking that they are NOT all ready for. When I was in Kindergarten, some children were not ready to move on to first grade, so they would go to this awesome thing called "Pre-First". I will be sharing more about this in a future blog post.... But with homeschooling, while I hold my children to high standards, they are not subjected to a lot of tests. My girls LOVE to learn, and I love to learn along side of them.
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| Abbey enjoying a game at the library. |
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| This morning, when we all needed just a few more minutes in bed. |
3. Children :: my children get to be children. They get to color and draw while I teach school. This helps them to be in their seats the whole time I need them to be. They get to go outside, run, and play. If they experienced a challenging math lesson they can take 10 minutes to clear their head by swinging outside or riding their bikes. It's wonderful.
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| Pretend sleeping in the bath. |
4. Vacation :: we don't have to ask permission to take our children on vacation. We went to the beach after Labor day last year, the house rental was cheaper and the beaches were deserted. It was the best vacation we have ever had. Also, Trent and I went away to celebrate our 10th anniversary and we were able to leave the kids with his parents and, while I gave them some assignments to do while we were gone, I wasn't worried that they were getting behind and Trent's parents didn't have to worry about getting them to and from school.
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| The girls helping make dinner. |
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| Dance party craziness. |
Don't get me wrong, there are definitely challenges that go along with this day-to-day job of home schooling. For me, for right now, the benefits far outweigh the costs.
Deuteronomy 11:18-21
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the LORD swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.
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