Maggie is nine!

We will be full-on adoption blogging mode in just one day, but before we leave I wanted to make sure I wrote about my Maggie.

Maggie is now nine years old! It's always hard to believe when I sit down and really contemplate how quickly the years go by.

Maggie is our middle child and feels all the feelings. When she's happy, she's the happiest kid you've known, when she's sad, she's in the depths of despair, when she's angry all her Irish side comes out in full blown fury. Maggie is very much how I was as a child. She loves deeply and feels the injustices in her life very strongly. Everyone in the world needs Jesus, but I think sometimes people like me (and Maggie) feel that need a bit more because we know how, on our own, we are so prone to failure in our words and actions.

I've noticed in the past few weeks after having some great conversations with Maggie that she has tried hard to mellow out the extremes in her personality. It has been really lovely to watch her take her younger sisters under her wing and teach them new games to play, to show them how to climb trees, and to print out paper dolls for them.

Being in the middle can be tough because the older siblings are, well, growing up. They're not as interested in playing make believe stories. I'm so thrilled to see Maggie teaching those stories and games to her younger sisters. I know it won't be too long until she isn't as interested in those child-like games either.

Maggie has a truly compassionate heart. She loves all animals, bugs, and reptiles. Catching toads is still high on her priority list all summer long.

Loves her chicken, Big Mama

She is happy to play with Legos, Woodzeez, and other small toys. She is not very interested in picking up any of the aforementioned items.

This year we started a new tradition where I take the birthday girl out for coffee for an hour. Even though I'm with the girls all the time, I don't get to spend much one-on-one time with them. This was a really special time for us. I enjoyed getting to give Maggie my undivided attention. While the things we talked about were mostly things I already knew about her, I did learn something I hadn't known previously. Maggie really loves to imagine herself in other people's shoes. Actually, creatures shoes. She wondered what it would be like to live the life of a bird or the life of a pig. We imagined together what that would be like. It was actually a chilly day so we decided to just go for a drive around the countryside after she finished her Cotton Candy Gelati. She chose the music (Disney Princess Music on Pandora) and told me about all the animals she was seeing outside her window. A very quick, simple hour, but a new memory to cherish.

Maggie & Mama

Her time with dad was spent eating the breakfast buffet at Lapp's. She said the baked french toast was the best thing. Her glass of chocolate milk was so huge she couldn't finish it. And best of all, she got to take a free whoopie pie home since she was there on her birthday.

Breakfast at Lapp's

They rented a canoe at Muddy Run and took along the fishing pole she got for her birthday. She didn't catch anything but it didn't matter. She still had a great time. And she saw a green heron standing on a branch and watched it fly away.



Maggie is so excited to have another little sister from China. However, she's really holding out hope that we'll have another biological child someday because she loves little babies so very much. Seeing her new baby cousin, Wally, has really stirred this desire up in her. I will say, baby Wally is probably the best baby I've ever seen in my life. He's so laid back, smiles, and is all around happy. Who wouldn't want a baby like him?

Best baby!

I think that Heidi will be a precious sister for Maggie to devote herself to, especially since she's not walking yet, it will make her seem more like a baby than her nearly 2 years.

Maggie loves:
-yellow
-lasagne
-tuna noodle casserole
-tacos
-iced coffee
-monkeys
-reading
-favorite book: Unicorn Quest
-Legos, hatchimals, and other toys
-cleaning the bathroom
-cauliflower and broccoli (cooked... with salt on it)
-athletic shorts  & tank tops in summer
-sweatpants & loose shirts in winter

Maggie doesn't love:
-hot dogs
-cleaning up toys
-asparagus
-rice and beans
-chili
-jeans
-shoes
-tights

Happy ninth birthday, my Magdalena Faith! We love you!

Travel Update + Some Adoption Thoughts

So much good news to share!

Monday, August 12, we got a brief update of sweet Heidi Grace. She now weighs 17 pounds and is 28 inches tall. Although the update didn't state that she is crawling, two of the photos make it appear she is either crawling or very close to it (she is 21 months old). This is a wonderful improvement in her skills as she could only just sit up independently in April at 17 months old.

Yesterday, August 13, 2019, we got travel approval! This gives us specific approval to enter China with the intent of adopting our daughter.

Today, August 14, the protests in Hong Kong have settled down. This has been a concern for us because our flights into and out of China layover in Hong Kong and recently several days of flights have been cancelled.We believe that we will be safe to fly without difficulty.

We have our official FAMILY DAY scheduled (sometimes called Gotcha Day), which is the day we will be united with Heidi! This is scheduled for Monday, September 2. Less than three weeks until my precious daughter will be in our arms and we can share her photo with you all!

I plan to blog everyday as I did for our last adoption. You can now subscribe to my blog by typing in your email at the bottom of this page to get email notifications of when I post. I am hoping to still be able to post to Facebook once a day but I'm unsure if that will be possible so if you don't want to miss anything, be sure to subscribe!

Finally, I want to share some thoughts on adoption. I have very openly and publicly discussed our adoptions for one main reason. Simply put; adoption is amazing. I hope that by sharing our joys and challenges that you all will be encouraged in your relationship with Jesus, and that if you don't have a relationship with Jesus that you will want to know what it's all about. Second, I hope to encourage my friends and family to be involved in adoption in one way or another.

I can wholeheartedly say that my church, my community, my friends and family have done this. They have loved and supported us in more ways than I can count. When you hear the phrase "it takes a village", this is what comes to mind. We could not be going to China in two weeks if it weren't for the support we have had from all of you.

My greatest hope is that I will have the opportunity to support you in this same way. If you are interested in adoption, please reach out to me because I would love to have real, serious discussions about what it could look like for your family, how to pay for it, and how to get started.

Thank you all!
Much love, Emily

We're going to China!!

Friends, I've been holding off on writing this blog because it doesn't feel real.

We were floored to learn from the travel coordinator at our agency that we could travel the end of August! We are still waiting for some paperwork to come back but we've been told this documentation comes through very predictably.

We anticipate receiving Article 5 on August 5. Then we need travel approval to get into China. That paper is generally taking between 4-10 days. Even if it takes longer than expected, we would have it by August 19. Most families travel 3-5 weeks after travel approval. But not us!

I MAY have already started packing....

We are leaving early in the morning August 29! Trent and I will be flying to Beijing first (with a short layover in Hong Kong) where we will spend a couple of days with Ruthie's amazing foster family.

They keep a little country house (similar to how Lancaster families keep a cabin in the mountains). Their country house just happens to back up to the Great Wall of China. You know, no big deal. We are so thrilled to recover from our jet lag in the company of these friends.

From there we will go to Heidi's province. She is from Jiangxi which is in southeast China and we are eager to see a different part of China. The area she lives in has a tropical climate (similar to Guangxi where Ruth is from) so we are anticipating a hot, humid week. I think the summer we've had in Pennsylvania has well prepared us for this trip.

Heidi's adoption will be finalized in her province. From there we will take her and fly to Guangzhou, Guangdong where we will spend a week. One of the main purposes of the second week is getting her visa to get back into the US. Once we have her visa we can come home. We fly home on Friday, September 13.

China has been coordinating international adoptions for many years and the process in-country is remarkably smooth. There are lots of appointments, much waiting around in office buildings, but all-in-all, our last experience showed us it is run like a well-oiled machine.

Trent and I are so grateful to our niece, Zoey, who is putting off accepting a nursing position until after we come home from China. Can you imagine a heart like hers? Our girls are thrilled to have their cousin live with them, do fun things with them, and make lasting memories of their time together. Ruthie is excited because "she didn't get to stay with Zoey last time" since she was the one being adopted, and Caroline was quite a bit younger so doesn't have much memory of that time.

Thank you all for your continued love and support. We appreciate all of you and can't wait to share her photo with you all for the first time, very, very soon!

As before, I hope to blog daily during our trip. It is still to be determined whether I'll have success sharing the blogs to Facebook but will try to have someone here do it for me if I'm unable to do so.

Behind the Name + Adoption Update

Those of you who know us well may remember that all of our daughters have family names. I was given my great-grandmother's first name as my middle name and even as a very young girl loved the connection to someone in my family.

As we started having children we have kept this alive as a vital part of naming our children, and sister six is no different.

We chose her name, Heidi Grace, with tremendous care and some friendly debating.

Trent's first Hess ancestors who came from Switzerland were Hans and Magdalena (yes, this is where our Magdalena/Maggie got her name). Hans's mother was called Adelheid. Some of you may know the beloved book “Heidi” by Johanna Spiry. Heidi's Christian name in the book was Adelheid. Fun fact, it wasn't until after this book was published that the name Heidi began to be used instead of Adelheid.

It was my desire that she be named Adelheid and we call her Heidi as a nickname, just as all our other daughters have a formal name and a nickname.

This is the part where much discussion and debating came into play. Trent felt that Adelheid sounded too Swiss for a Chinese daughter. I argued that Ruth is about as un-Chinese of a name that there ever was. We both absolutely love the name Heidi, though, and we could agree upon that. And let's be honest, Trent deserves some significant say when he's going to be surrounded by girls forever.

As a compromise, all of her documents will say Heidi, but I reserved the right to call her Adelheid (especially when she's naughty, which of course will be rare). Much in the same way that our other daughters have nicknames, but in reverse. 

Can't wait to fill this frame with Heidi photos!

Grace is a name that we have both always loved but many of our friends and relations have already used it as first name. We felt that Grace sounded good with Heidi, we have relatives on both sides of the family tree with the name.

However, most important to me was the biblical connection. The Holman Bible Dictionary defines grace as “undeserved acceptance and love received from another, especially the characteristic attitude in God providing salvation for sinners.” We hope, more than anything, that our Heidi Grace will one day know and accept the grace that God offers. In her short life she has gone through so much that few of us in America can fathom our children going through. We hope that we are able to shine the light of Jesus into her life and that she will know that God created her, Heidi Grace, with a plan and a purpose in mind. That the suffering she has gone through is not in vain, because God has always had her in the palm of his hand.

Now on to our adoption update.

I think most of you know that I'm an optimistic person. I live my life in a way that I always believe that the best is not only possible but that it's going to happen.

Unfortunately, this situation with immigration has knocked me down. I understand the need to make sure that every family is appropriate and prepared to take a child with special needs. It hurts my heart that we are being held up while we claim that our young children do not have a criminal history.

There are a couple of things that are very difficult for me right now. One is the timing. I know in my head that God is in control. I have seen the evidence of his work over and over in my life. I know that He is good. I know that He loves me. I have faith that He is working all things out the way that they should be. And yet. I'm like that father in the Scripture who wants to believe that Jesus can heal his son but in the same moment doesn't believe.

“Lord, I believe! Help me overcome my unbelief!”

I had worked out in my mind that we would travel mid-August. It meant missing one of our children's birthdays but she was okay with that, knowing it was for the greater good of Heidi. The challenge is that we now have these two lambs that our oldest girls are supposed to show in the Solanco Fair mid-September. We feel that we couldn't put that responsibility of transferring lambs and encouraging the children in something they've never done before, on someone else. But we also are torn because if we wait until after the fair to travel that is so much extra time that our daughter waits for us in an orphanage.

When our travel to Ruth got pushed back we didn't feel as bad about it because we knew that she was with an amazing, loving family. We knew she was being fed, loved, and cared for. We had regular communication with her foster family and with Ruth. We get none of that this time around. It breaks my heart that my daughter is in an orphanage. It hurts me that she may not be receiving the love, care, attention, and nutrition that she desperately needs.

We have no idea how long it will take the immigration department to approve us. Today they should have received the evidence they asked of us but I don't have any timeline of when to expect approval.

So my friends, I would ask that you pray for us. There are many things I would like to see happen, but I think what I need most is for you to pray that I can trust more fully in God.

I'm so thankful for these verses from Psalm 121:3-4

“He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.”

I'm so grateful to serve a God who never sleeps, who always hears us when we call.

Abbey is Ten!

In April, Abbey turned ten! I now have two kids in double-digits!

It's always hard to believe that your once little baby is getting so big, so full of life and personality. She's making her own decisions and sticking with them. Well, that's nothing new. Even as a little girl she could be quite stubborn. Abbey is such a fun girl to be around. She may come off as shy before you get to know her, then she'll knock you down in surprise at her (sometimes dark) humor.

Typical Abbey humor

Abbey doesn't usually want people to know it, but she's actually very tender-hearted. She may not cry during Little House on the Prairie like her mom does, but it's not uncommon to see her helping Caroline or Ruth with whatever they need. She is usually quite resistant to change but was the most eager for us to adopt a second time. She has the amazing ability to get along well with all of her siblings. It is rare to see her lose her temper at any of her siblings. It's not uncommon to see her get frustrated with herself. Abbey holds herself to extremely high standards and wrestles with being a perfectionist. We are continuing to work through this with her with gentleness and care, reminding her that none of us are perfect and all we ask is that she does her best.

Close in age sisters are so fun! 16 months apart!

Since turning ten is extra-special, we planned a little birthday party for Abbey. She isn't the kind of girl who likes to be around a lot of people or even have tons of friends. She has a couple of dear friends that she wanted to have over (after initially saying she didn't want any people to come over). We had a lovely day during which I only took one photo. Oops.

She had a Lego Friends themed party, complete with a “lego” pinata, a game where the winners took home Legos, and a Lego cake. It was all rather simple but fun and perfectly suited to Abbey. She had fun but was ready for the party to end when it did. She spent her afternoon reading quietly to herself.

For her birthday celebration with Trent she went to Outback to eat. We have started a tradition of eating there when we go to the beach, so for a special tenth birthday treat, that's where she went. She loves the bread and butter they give, but mostly she wanted the Thunder From Down Under dessert. She has the biggest sweet tooth.

Two hands!

Afterward she went to Longwood Gardens. She had a great day. Abbey liked when there was a boy with a stick near a pond who wanted to poke at a dead fish. She related to me that when the boy asked if he should try to get the fish daddy wanted to tell him “yes” but didn't know where the boy's mom was at so decided against it.

Our kids end up with a week or more worth of celebrations. She also celebrated at Grandpa and Grandma Hess's and then later spent a weekend at Mema's house where she sewed a cute stuffed puppy.

Abbey loves animals. While she says she doesn't like it, I think she's genuinely enjoying having a lamb to care for as her 4-H project. More than anything, I think she's nervous to show her sheep at the fair in front of people. She really doesn't like to be the center of attention or on stage or anything. She can, and does, overcome her fear with such outward ease that you never know until you talk to her later that she was feeling sick to her stomach. We are hoping she will out grow this fear with practice.

It's a real joy to have Abigail Frances as my daughter. It's surprising that she was so challenging to parent when she was small because she brings so much joy and laughter to our home now. I'm amazed at her tenacity and dedication to see a task completed. She will put off having an ice pop until her chores are complete. She has committed to reading the entire Bible in a year and has stuck to it.

Abbey, happy tenth birthday. We love you, sweetheart!

A little about Sister Six!

I know so many of you are eager to hear all about sister six!

As much as I would love to share every detail we know about her, I also want to be careful that I do not overshare some intimate details of her life in this public way. We also have chosen not to share her photograph publicly until the adoption is final in China. (We did the same for Ruthie). 

Super excited big sisters!

I will post a full blog about her name and what it means to us and for her at a later date. But it would be hard to write a whole post about her without sharing her name. She will be:

Heidi Grace Hess

So here are some little facts about our sweet Heidi. She is about a year and half. When you look at her picture you think she is much younger. She looks to be around just six or seven months old. She has the most darling giggle and a terrible hair cut. She has a pert little nose and a sweet grin. Heidi seems to love when her caretaker plays with her. (Won't she be in for a treat with five big sisters to dote on her?) 

Heidi has significant developmental delays in all areas. So while she is truly a year and half she is very much on the level of a six to eight month old baby. She learned how to sit up at 15 months old. She can now stand holding on to a rail. The file we were given of her information also showed that she had an abnormal CT scan when she was eight months old. 

Initially we had very little information about her needs. In fact, much of what we did have was very confusing. We knew she had a long hospital stay after coming into care (about 5 months) but the only explanation was "feeding difficulty". 

The international adoption hospital we were working with gave us a long list of possible diagnoses that were causing her significant delays. I won't share them all here, but suffice to say, they sounded scary and not at all what we anticipated for sister six. 

We struggled to know what decision we should make. Most challenging for us to wrap our minds around was the possibility that she may not ever reach "full potential" and would be dependent on us forever. In fact, that was one of the main things we felt that we could not take on. We asked lots of questions of the orphanage and practically begged for medical records from her hospital stays. 

We were able to get some information before we needed to make a decision, but not a whole lot. I prayed like crazy and am so grateful to have had an amazing group of women at my Bible Study praying for me every week in addition to my mom and mother-in-law and sisters and niece.

For two weeks I felt like God was silent. I was begging for Him to reveal what decision we should make.

On Good Friday the girls and I were talking about what happened on that day over 2,000 years ago. As we talked the girls couldn't understand why we call it "good". It was horrible what happened to Jesus! I explained that we call it "good" because we know how the story ends! 

In that moment it was like a lightning bolt struck! I felt God pressing upon my heart that while all I can see is the hard and scary possibilities for this little girl's future, that HE knows how her story will end. And in that moment I was ready to move forward to bring home this little girl.

I want to be clear that Heidi still may have a genetic syndrome, she may have learning disabilities, she may have a neurological disorder, she may have any number of challenges. However, I believe that God would have us to be her family to provide her with five big sisters to cheer her on to greatness, whatever level that may be.

We did just learn (Friday) that she was born premature, though we don't know at what week gestation. Based on her birth weight of two pounds, it is likely she was born at about 27 weeks. As many of you know, babies born this early may have any number of challenges in their future. We have great hope for Heidi and are eager to bring her home and watch her thrive in the love of a family.

Now we're back into the paperwork of immigration and travel. We're hoping to go to China in August to bring home our little Heidi Grace! 

Thoughts on being Mama

Five little (and not so little) girls call me Mama.

Four of them I had the pleasure and pain of birthing. One of them I had the pleasure and pain of adopting. All of them are mine.

For nearly all of my married life I have been a Mama. Just before our second anniversary Anne was born, and so there have always been little ones around.

Eleven and a half years of being "mama". So much of my adult life has been consumed by all manner of bodily functions, doctor appointments, band aids, bikes, and bruises. But also countless hugs, snuggles, sleeping babies in my arms, wet kisses, and belly laughs.

I often tell others that being a mom is the best, hardest job you'll ever get.

Forgot to take a Mother's Day picture yesterday. This grainy selfie is the best I could get. Sorry, folks!

  Recently I forced myself to take a closer look at who I am as a Christ-follower. So much of my daily life is wrapped up in all aspects of mothering that it's easy to forget who Emily is. Mothering is only a stage, a phase, a blip in a hopefully long life. I try so hard to cherish each day with my girls, treasuring it for the gift it really is. And I want to be sure that I'm not so focused inwardly that I forget who I am really here to serve.

I was feeling rather introspective earlier this year as we waited to be matched with sister six. There were many little boys who were becoming available for adoption. In all their ways they were "perfect". They met all the little boxes we had checked off for our next adoption in regards to age and special needs. There was just one "problem". They were boys.

I was determined to examine my own heart to see if perhaps I was finding so much of my identity in a "mama of lots of girls" that I was shutting out a part of God's plan for our life. That perhaps I was making this adoption about me, and not about what it is meant to be, which is to be the best possible family for a child who needs us and that we need them. You see, Ruth has developed my character into a stronger, more determined woman because of who she is. God knew my heart needed her. And I was wondering if perhaps God was showing me that I needed a little boy in my life. Or was I just getting impatient in our wait to be matched with a girl?

After extensive prayer I felt that we were indeed following the path marked out for us. Another girl. Sister Six. That we should continue to wait for our girl. But do you see what I did there?

Psalm 139:23-24

Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts. 

 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

David sets us a great example of praying through determining my will versus God's will. For if we are truly honest with ourselves we would agree with Jeremiah 17:9. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"

Clearly God knows this fact about our humanity and knew we would need it made perfectly clear in Scripture. A blog for another time is why we don't follow our hearts Disney-Princess style. But I digress.

My friends, I don't know if I'm accurately representing what I want to say this Mother's Day week. Being a mom is a gift from God. Children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). And I love it. 

But I guess what I'm trying to put into words is that I need to remind myself not to find my identity in my children. Not to find my identity in a "mama of girls". Not to find my identity in my pride of my daughters' external behaviors (good and bad) and their accomplishments. 

This Mother's Day I am trying to remind myself, and maybe other moms who are feeling consumed by their children and their needs, that first and foremost, I am a child of God. I am a woman of God. And for me, right now, that means being a mother as my highest calling. But that job title (if you will) is not who I am.

I am attempting to be a woman after God's own heart.