We received another call yesterday. A five year old girl and a 2 1/2 year old boy. I desperately wanted to say, "Yes." But, a big concern that Trent has always had was taking a child older than Anne. We said, "No," again.
It was much more difficult this time around for me. I love and respect Trent, so I submit to him. But yesterday it certainly was not easy.
Please pray for unity as we make life-changing decisions that will affect not only us, but also our children and the children we will humbly attempt to care for.
Also, for those of you who don't know how this works, we receive a call with information about the children and their situation. We have about 10-15 minutes to decide if we will take them or not. If we say "Yes," (at least with these first 2 calls) the children will be brought to our house within a couple of hours.
Huge decisions on a small amount of time. Again, please pray for unity as we make these decisions. I thank you all sincerely.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
Voice of Truth
Do you know this Casting Crowns song?
I was in the van today when this song came on. The first verse struck me in a new way today. It says:
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand
In some ways we have taken that first step of faith. We are officially approved for foster care. We received our first call on Friday. We were asked to take two children.
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"
Suddenly we were afraid. We didn't have a "strong feeling" one way or the other regarding these children. Trent and I talked for awhile, then thought & prayed separately, then talked again. We said, "No," to these two children.
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Peter got out of the boat and began walking on the water toward Jesus. But he looked down and began to sink. When our eyes are fixed upon Jesus, we can "walk on water".
Our first call was definitely a learning experience. It made us truly realize that this is for real, it's no longer words or a good/nice thing to do. These are the lives of dear children we are talking about. This call forced Trent and I to further discuss what we can take on. We can talk until we're blue in the face, but the truth is, every situation is different, every child is unique, every birth parent has their own struggles, and whatever we say "Yes" to, God WILL see us through. He WILL be our strength.
We WILL choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.
And we WILL be ready for our next phone call.
I was in the van today when this song came on. The first verse struck me in a new way today. It says:
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand
In some ways we have taken that first step of faith. We are officially approved for foster care. We received our first call on Friday. We were asked to take two children.
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"
Suddenly we were afraid. We didn't have a "strong feeling" one way or the other regarding these children. Trent and I talked for awhile, then thought & prayed separately, then talked again. We said, "No," to these two children.
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Peter got out of the boat and began walking on the water toward Jesus. But he looked down and began to sink. When our eyes are fixed upon Jesus, we can "walk on water".
Our first call was definitely a learning experience. It made us truly realize that this is for real, it's no longer words or a good/nice thing to do. These are the lives of dear children we are talking about. This call forced Trent and I to further discuss what we can take on. We can talk until we're blue in the face, but the truth is, every situation is different, every child is unique, every birth parent has their own struggles, and whatever we say "Yes" to, God WILL see us through. He WILL be our strength.
We WILL choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.
And we WILL be ready for our next phone call.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Clean!
Praise the Lord! Our water test came back with ZERO (0) bacteria! As far as we know this is the last step in being officially approved for foster care. Continued prayers for wisdom would be appreciated! Thanks everyone!
Friday, June 29, 2012
Iced Coffee
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| Daddy with the mulberries, surrounded by his girls. |
I only have a brief update regarding foster care. We had the UV light & filter installed and gave a water sample two days ago. We should know results on Monday. Once we email these results to our caseworker we will be officially approved.
I don't think I have ever posted a recipe on here, but as I was enjoying my iced coffee this morning I thought I would share it here, just in case, you are like me: A non-morning person, a busy Mama, stay-up-too late kind of person.
Ingredients:
1 can sweetened condensed milk
12 cups hot, strong coffee
Ice cube tray
Whipped cream ** (Optional)
Directions:
Pour coffee into ice cube tray and put in freezer. Open can of sweetened, condensed milk and pour into a pitcher. Pour remaining hot coffee on top of milk. Stir. Put in refrigerator. Once cold, enjoy it! For a special treat we sometimes put whipped cream on the top and drink it after the kids are asleep. =)
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| 3 beautiful girls and a wheat field |
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Pure Joy
As I was praying today, the Spirit spoke to me through Scripture, as He usually does. The following verses popped into my head:
James 1:2-5 (NIV) "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."
I don't know about you all, but when I go through trials I do not feel pure joy. Often when I look back upon trials I can often see the Spiritual growth that occurred.
As we go through this time of uncertainty, I am going to make a conscious effort to show pure joy, knowing that as I persevere I will mature. My prayer will continually be for wisdom.
If I'm honest with myself, I can really sing He's been "So Good to Me".
*Just a side note: Scripture memory is so POWERFUL!* So thankful for the Word of God!
James 1:2-5 (NIV) "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."
I don't know about you all, but when I go through trials I do not feel pure joy. Often when I look back upon trials I can often see the Spiritual growth that occurred.
As we go through this time of uncertainty, I am going to make a conscious effort to show pure joy, knowing that as I persevere I will mature. My prayer will continually be for wisdom.
If I'm honest with myself, I can really sing He's been "So Good to Me"
*Just a side note: Scripture memory is so POWERFUL!* So thankful for the Word of God!
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Fear
One thing I have learned as I walk with the Lord and that He does all things well, and He has a purpose. Yesterday we were told that we will probably have to leave this house I love when our lease is completed in February. I went through a wide range of emotions in a very short time; anger, bitterness, resentment, annoyance, fear, and sadness. I had myself a good cry.
Yet through it I was seeking God. We were so sure that God wanted us here, in this house, for a reason. We thought that reason was so that we would have the space for more children, for foster care. Our homestudy was June 5, and we were approved, except that our well water was full of bacteria. The next step we needed to complete was to get that taken care of, and what we learned was that a UV light was the way to do it. We had Martin's Appliance & Water Conditioning come out Friday to give us an estimate. And we thought we would be on our way to more children within a couple of weeks. Then Saturday we received this news that throws a wrench into our plans.
As I was praying last night and was trying to find the purpose in all of this (what I consider to be a mess!) a new thought hit me. Soon after we moved here, to my old home, I began having bad dreams; nightmares, really. The dreams always revolved around the same theme; that I will be left alone. The dreams varied between Trent leaving me for another woman to Trent getting cancer and dying. Sometimes I would have these dreams multiple times a week. Sometimes I would tell Trent, and other times it felt too painful so I would keep them to myself.
A couple weeks ago I started to write a post on fear, and how I have this terrible fear that something bad is going to happen in my marriage (as in Trent leaving me or Trent dying). I couldn't find the words to put together what I wanted to say, but I'm going to try now. I want to try to be fair to the people who may find themselves in my story, but they are a piece of my story and have shaped who I have become.
As long as I can remember my parents had a rocky marriage. Small disagreements or arguments, a look of annoyance or disgust. I thought that was what marriage was. Some years were more difficult than others. I remember after one particularly heated argument when I was in about 7th grade I shouted at my parents, "Why don't you guys just get divorced!" (I was sent to my room in tears after this outburst of disrespectful behavior.) Everything came to a head when I started my second year of college. I got a phone call from my sister saying mom and dad were going to be separating. Although I saw it coming for years, I was crushed.
Anyone who is going through or has gone through a divorce where children are involved and says, "The kids are doing fine" lies. They may not know they are lying, but they are. For years I've always "seemed okay" and thought I was fine, yet here I am, more than seven years after my parents separated and I'm having nightmares about my husband leaving me. {Just a side note: Trent and I are extremely happy in our marriage!! These are just my fears that I have never dealt with!}
I firmly believe that these bad dreams have been an attack of Satan on me, and on our marriage. Satan would like nothing better than to ruin a wonderful marriage that glorifies God. Thankfully I have God on my side, and He is much stronger than the evil one. Trent has been praying for me and the dreams have stopped.
So how did I get to this point? Well, I believe that one of the reasons we came back to my childhood home is so that I could realize and deal with these fears, so that our marriage can be stronger. I still don't know what it means in regards to foster care, or where we will go when our lease is up, but I am putting my hope and trust in the Lord. We didn't expect to have this house, yet here we are. Sure, we'll be moving again, but God will have something else for us. In the meantime, I intend to take this time to strengthen my marriage, to grow closer to the Lord, to love on my children and show them the beauty of God's creation.
Would you pray for us? I don't think we can ever go wrong in asking for wisdom, and that is certainly what we need now. Thank you friends & family.
Yet through it I was seeking God. We were so sure that God wanted us here, in this house, for a reason. We thought that reason was so that we would have the space for more children, for foster care. Our homestudy was June 5, and we were approved, except that our well water was full of bacteria. The next step we needed to complete was to get that taken care of, and what we learned was that a UV light was the way to do it. We had Martin's Appliance & Water Conditioning come out Friday to give us an estimate. And we thought we would be on our way to more children within a couple of weeks. Then Saturday we received this news that throws a wrench into our plans.
As I was praying last night and was trying to find the purpose in all of this (what I consider to be a mess!) a new thought hit me. Soon after we moved here, to my old home, I began having bad dreams; nightmares, really. The dreams always revolved around the same theme; that I will be left alone. The dreams varied between Trent leaving me for another woman to Trent getting cancer and dying. Sometimes I would have these dreams multiple times a week. Sometimes I would tell Trent, and other times it felt too painful so I would keep them to myself.
A couple weeks ago I started to write a post on fear, and how I have this terrible fear that something bad is going to happen in my marriage (as in Trent leaving me or Trent dying). I couldn't find the words to put together what I wanted to say, but I'm going to try now. I want to try to be fair to the people who may find themselves in my story, but they are a piece of my story and have shaped who I have become.
As long as I can remember my parents had a rocky marriage. Small disagreements or arguments, a look of annoyance or disgust. I thought that was what marriage was. Some years were more difficult than others. I remember after one particularly heated argument when I was in about 7th grade I shouted at my parents, "Why don't you guys just get divorced!" (I was sent to my room in tears after this outburst of disrespectful behavior.) Everything came to a head when I started my second year of college. I got a phone call from my sister saying mom and dad were going to be separating. Although I saw it coming for years, I was crushed.
Anyone who is going through or has gone through a divorce where children are involved and says, "The kids are doing fine" lies. They may not know they are lying, but they are. For years I've always "seemed okay" and thought I was fine, yet here I am, more than seven years after my parents separated and I'm having nightmares about my husband leaving me. {Just a side note: Trent and I are extremely happy in our marriage!! These are just my fears that I have never dealt with!}
I firmly believe that these bad dreams have been an attack of Satan on me, and on our marriage. Satan would like nothing better than to ruin a wonderful marriage that glorifies God. Thankfully I have God on my side, and He is much stronger than the evil one. Trent has been praying for me and the dreams have stopped.
So how did I get to this point? Well, I believe that one of the reasons we came back to my childhood home is so that I could realize and deal with these fears, so that our marriage can be stronger. I still don't know what it means in regards to foster care, or where we will go when our lease is up, but I am putting my hope and trust in the Lord. We didn't expect to have this house, yet here we are. Sure, we'll be moving again, but God will have something else for us. In the meantime, I intend to take this time to strengthen my marriage, to grow closer to the Lord, to love on my children and show them the beauty of God's creation.
Would you pray for us? I don't think we can ever go wrong in asking for wisdom, and that is certainly what we need now. Thank you friends & family.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
We have a Due Date (Sort of)
When you are pregnant with a child one of the first questions you hear is, "When are you due??" Our journey to foster care is so completely different than a pregnancy, but no less exciting and probably a little bit {ok, a LOT} scarier. (Especially since this would be my 4th pregnancy so by this time it's old hat.)
Well, I'm pleased to tell you that our Homestudy date is schedule for June 5th! From that point on I believe I could answer like most expectant mothers past 37 weeks... "any time now!".
Please pray for us as we continue in this process.
Well, I'm pleased to tell you that our Homestudy date is schedule for June 5th! From that point on I believe I could answer like most expectant mothers past 37 weeks... "any time now!".
Please pray for us as we continue in this process.
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