5 Ways to be A Joyful Mama At the Grocery Store

Friends. I don't know about you all, but it seems every other article that pops up on my news feed have titles like:  5 things you're doing wrong, 10 ways you are failing, and 700 ways to get offended at the grocery store.

I'm a pretty big believer of the words and things that go into our mind play out in our actions. It's part of the reason I'm so particular about the movies my children watch, the books they read, and the company they keep.

Yet as Mamas (and Dads) do we do the same thing for ourselves? I know I don't always use the same standard for myself. So I'm going to lay this out there for you all. Stop getting offended at the grocery store. I'm using grocery store since that's the situation in which most mamas find themselves at the end of their rope. I actually don't personally go to the grocery store since I've married the best man ever and he enjoys the grocery shopping. BUT, I do take all five of my daughters pretty much everywhere else: doctor appointments, clothes shopping, greenhouses, soccer practice, the dentist, running at the rail trail, eye exams, etc. These five little tips will help you to get through "small talk" encounters with little old ladies, people who may seem a little nosy, and cashiers, and have joy in your heart when you walk out the door.

Before Ruthie came home, I had all four girls with me at an Amish greenhouse on my road. The young Amish cashier looked at me, looked at the girls, and said, "Are they all yours?" Guys. If you aren't familiar with the Amish community, the average Amish family has 7 children. I only had four. That one was a shocker!

Just today, as I was running errands, I had a young man (!) stop me in the parking lot of TJ Maxx by shouting, "Excuse me!" (he was still in his car) "Are they all yours?? FIVE girls!"

The most common comments I get are, "Are they all yours?", "All girls?!", "Your poor husband", "Just wait until they're teenagers".

And friends. I don't freak out at them. I don't roll my eyes. I don't get offended. Instead, I do these few things.

1. Smile. It's really not a hard thing to do. Treat people with a friendly face and with kindness, the exact same way you want to be treated. A smile goes a long way.

National Taco Day! Smile!

2. Listen. I've noticed that if I stop for even just 30 seconds, most of the time they have a reason for talking to me. The man today wanted me to encourage his young wife that having a big family is great. When he saw me out with all the girls happily walking through the parking lot, he felt he had to say something. An 80-something woman loitered about me last winter just to tell me that she was one of seven girls, and seeing my little family brought back so many cherished childhood memories. Also today at the eye doctor a woman told me she loved watching us because she had four daughters. It's not hard to give people 30 seconds or a minute of your time. Just remember that you may be on their end some day, remembering the joys and trials of taking your kids out to run errands.

Tea time with the loveliest girls around.

3. Take a deep breath. When I was a waitress at the Olive Garden people would often say the same thing to me throughout a 10 hour shift. "Just grate the whole block of cheese on there! Ha-Ha-Ha!" (when asked if they want grated Parmesan cheese on their salad.) They had no way of knowing that they are the 10th table who has told me that same thing today, and it isn't that funny anymore. Having a big family these days is a bit of a curiosity, even in good ole Lancaster County, and even more so because we have all girls. So when you're at your fourth stop on errand running day, and you don't really feel like having the same conversation again, take a deep breath, and repeat step number one.

Sisters going to church

4. Make a Joke. To be honest, I very rarely have people say things that I think are rude and I often wonder where people live who write of the harsh things strangers say to them. The "are they all yours" comment I've been getting since I had three kids. Sometimes families built through adoption take offense to this comment. I don't. I just answer the question with a smile, and "Yes! They're all mine!" On occasion I have people ask if we are going to "keep trying" for a boy. That's kind of an awkward question on a lot of levels, but again, it's just a conversation. I usually answer that question with, "We really, really love having all girls. They are a lot of fun!" And leave it at that. I really believe that the best way to handle strangers is with kindness. You'll likely never see them again, and it isn't really worth getting all worked up over. You give a stranger power over you and your emotions when you take offense.

5. Smile. Again. Because not only are you responding to strangers, your children are watching you. They are watching the way you respond to strangers and they are learning from you. So if you are snippy with strangers, they will learn that's the way to respond when people ask questions. If you treat others with kindness, they will learn to do the same. And even if I've reached the end of my patience and I have a cheeky two-year-old who WILL walk through the parking lot and she DOESN'T need anyone to hold her hand, and a three-year-old who wants to be carried even though my hands are full of bags, and a 7, 8, and 9 year old who are trailing like ducklings and I really just want to buckle everyone up and crank up the radio and drive, if you yell, "Excuse me! Are they all yours?" You can bet that I'll stop, smile, and say, "Yep! All mine!"

All Mine!

Painting goals for 2016

I have a confession to make. I am a terrible sales person. One of my first jobs was as a photographer at JC Penney. I was okay (not great) at taking the photos. I was decidedly awful at selling them. Also, just a word to you parents out there. Please be nice to your photographer.  **Side note: two of my sisters also worked at the portrait studio and one of them is extremely talented and runs her own photography business. Find her work here!**  Many a parent made me cry with their harsh words when I was a teenage photographer. I decided that I would not go into a profession where I had to sell anything.

Ha. Hahahaha! My job after that was working as a waitress at Olive Garden. Of course, managers want you to sell more (more appetizers, more alcohol, more higher priced items). I did better with job here since it involved talking to people (no trouble there), but I was the least pushy person when it came to selling anything.

Throughout those Olive Garden years I was in school for teaching. Where I didn't have to sell anything.

So you can see how shocking it was to find myself owning a teeny tiny business. Where I sell things. I strive to let my products sell themselves. I hope you never find me a pushy salesperson. I doubt you will, since I tend to despise those people. (No offense to those of you who are "good" salespeople, it's just not my thing.)

However, one thing that I realized is that my signs can't sell themselves if you don't know they exist. Which brings us to the point of this post. 

Facebook has been key to the building of my business. However, this past year they made some changes, that, from a business aspect I get. They need to make money to run their business, so instead of allowing free advertising which is what they had done in the past, they now would like you to "boost" posts to get people who already like your page to see your posts. So if you have noticed that you see less and less of pages that you "like" this should not be surprising. But there's some good news! You can make some adjustments to change this.
1. You can "like" and comment on the pictures I post. This tells the Facebook algorithm that you want to continue seeing my page.
2. You can go to my Facebook page
Make sure you "Like" my page. Then under like, click "Get Notifications". Also from this screen you can select "See First" instead of "Default". This SHOULD allow you to see all my posts. (see photo for help)

I know not everyone is on Instagram, but this has quickly become a favorite for me. The feed is a lot cleaner than Facebook and you follow who you want to follow and you see the things they post. I just joined Instagram a few months into 2015 and it's been a slow-growth for me, but I really like it and see a lot of potential for MamaHessPainting here. Following me on Instagram is really simple.  <<------- a="" click="" there="">


And of course, there's my Etsy Shop.

Lots of ways to stay connected with Mama Hess Painting this year.  

Some goals for 2016:
1. Do 3 to 4 shows. (Last year I did two)
2. Build the wedding/vow renewal/love section of my Esty shop. I have SO many ideas for this section.
3. Take better photos of my signs
4. Stay joyful

Number four may seem silly, but when I'm really really really busy, painting can feel like a job. It's good for me to keep in mind that so often my signs bring joy on people's happiest days of their lives (weddings, babies, new homes, etc.) and bring comfort on their hardest days and provide inspiration on the days between.

Looking forward to a beautiful 2016 with you all! Thanks for coming along and enjoying the beautiful ride with me.


xoxo,
Mama Hess

2015 Goals Revisited

Before we can talk about 2016 I love to look back at the year we just finished and see if those goals we set were completed. We declared 2015 to be "The Year Of Love" . I had listed out several goals for each of our family members. Those goals looked like this:

For myself:
Personal Goals -
1. complete another Bible Study at Change of Pace South
2. read through the Bible in a year
3. continue nightly prayer/devotions with Trent
4. drink less coffee (just kidding! I was just checking to see if you were paying attention)
5. run a 5k (not kidding.... now it's on here, I have to do it)
6. find LOVE all around me
**Update: I did all of these things! (Except number 4). Trent and I were so excited to have read through the Bible together in one year. What a wonderful, growing experience that was!**
Business Goals-
1. create beautiful paintings
2. inspire and encourage others through my work
3. create something NEW and not just what "everyone else is doing"
**Update: I like to think I did all of these things.**
For Anne:
1. encourage healthy eating and exercise
2. continue piano lessons
3. figure out a good inhaler/ or something to help with her asthma so that #1 can be accomplished
4. teach her to be a strong young lady, not someone who will follow the crowd
**Update: Anne continued with piano throughout the Spring of 2015, but we gave it a break the remainder of the year. We are really happy with her new inhaler to help with her asthma. She is excited to start softball this coming Spring!. And I believe we're making good progress with number 4.**
For Abbey:
1. she wants to run a race this year
2. continue piano lessons
3. encourage kind and loving words
4. teach her to be strong, yet gentle and compassionate at the same time
**Update: Abbey didn't run a "real" race, though she still loves running and I can definitely see some form of running her her future. Piano did not bring much love into Abbey's life- in fact it caused quite a bit of frustration. We gave piano a break after the Spring. We are still working on 3 and 4, and I believe we will be for quite a while.**
For Maggie:
1. encourage her newly found love of mathematics
2. she would like to start reading this year
3. try to help her work through her anger when she is tired
4. help her to continue to be strong and loving
**Update: Maggie is doing great with math. She also is learning to read and does a good job. It definitely is hard work for her, but she is getting it and is really excited when she can read a small book independently. We are still working on three and four.**
For Caroline:
1. help her learn to walk this year
2. and say a few words
3. love on her like crazy
4. try not to spoil her terribly
 **Update: Caroline learned to walk at 18 months, so halfway through 2015. She is saying lots of words. We loved on her like crazy in 2015... Not sure how good of a job we did on not spoiling her terribly.**

So there you have it! A wonderful year of Love. I'm eager to share with you what the Hess family has in mind for 2016!

Intentionally Uncomfortable

Some of you may be surprised to know that I like to be comfortable. Although I'm rather outgoing, I like to be outgoing within the confines of my comfort zone. Does that make sense?

As the school year was ending I knew I wanted the three oldest girls to take swim lessons. Everything within me wanted to take them to the pool I grew up using. This pool is about 15-18 minutes from our home. However, there is a pool in my own community which is only a 7 minute drive. It seems like a no-brainer, but I so wanted to take the girls to MY pool.

Maggie tends to be the "pet" in every class she is a part of. :)

Since the girls are homeschooled, I feel it is really important for them to get to know people in our community. At some point I imagine they will go to public school or play sports or be involved with others in the community, and I want them to have prior experiences to build on these future relationships. They will not have that opportunity if I take them out of our community for extracurricular activities.

Snacks were the way to keep Caroline contented during the hour we were at the pool.

So we went for it. On the second day I struck up conversation with a mom with six children - she had a child in a class with Maggie, and a child in the class with Anne and Abbey. She was really wonderful and kind. There were several other moms who I had the opportunity to chat with and who my girls made friends with their children. We were able to reconnect with one of the helpers from the VBS that the girls attended, and also saw some of the families from swimming at the grocery store. Small things, for sure, but it really made me start to feel a part of our community.

Abbey was hesitant in the beginning but worked hard and was such a great listener!

Sometimes, what may feel uncomfortable at first turns out to be just what was needed. I'm looking forward to more ways to build relationships within this wonderful community in which I live.

Anne jumping off the diving board. By the end of the second week she could jump off with no one there to catch her and without a floatation device.