Last week we said good-bye to our dear foster son. The judge approved for him to move to the same foster home as his sister. I received a call from a caseworker at 11:30 am that this was the decision, and a caseworker came an hour later and picked him up.
I had been mentally preparing myself for this as we knew there was a very real possibility that he would leave. I had already packed most of his toys. I had one hour to pack his remaining items and say good-bye. I was a complete disaster. I didn't have an emotional attachment to most of his clothing, but my mom had made matching pajamas for the kids for Christmas - in a Christmas plaid. It was a long-sleeve button up shirt that we always called his "old man pajamas" because he reminded us of a little old man toddling around in a night shirt. When I got to that pair of pajamas to put away forever I cried and cried and cried.
Before I knew it the caseworker had arrived at our home. She began taking his things to her car. She walked out the door and our foster son said, "Bye-bye!" I lost it again. The poor dear didn't understand that it would be him leaving this time.
She took him from my arms. I kissed his chubby cheeks for the last time. She took him away. I watched from the window, sobbing silently and she carried my little boy away. I'll never forget him sitting in the back seat, looking around, probably wondering where he was going and why. They drove away and were gone from our lives.
This good-bye was much more difficult for me than I expected. I closed his bedroom door because it was too painful for me to see his crib and know that he will never sleep in it again.
The day passed, slowly and painfully. But the next morning came, and there was joy. Despite the sadness, there was joy. Each day has gotten easier. Much as we loved him, he also carried with him a huge burden, one that we had gladly shouldered, but a burden nonetheless.
Yesterday marked one week since he departure. I finally gathered up the sheets and blankets from his crib to wash. As a put one of the blankets into the machine I caught a whiff of his smell. I held the blanket to my face and smelled him for the last time. I considered not washing the blanket, but thought it would help me move on if I didn't have that reminder of him.
Today Maggie found the ball we got him for his birthday under the couch. She said she misses him. We all do. We are moving on, but we still miss him. I am thankful that he is with a Christian family and will continue to pray for him and his sister.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
Kids Say the Darndest Things.....
For all of you who enjoy a good Anne-story I thought I'd share a few of my favorites on here.
Anne (age 2) March 6, 2010: Woke up crying at 3:00 am. Trent went into her room to ask what was wrong. She cried, "It pinched me!" Trent said, "What pinched you???" She said, "The little monkey pinched me!!" I guess she was dreaming.
Anne (age 2) Mama asked her what she wants to be when she grow up. Anne said, "I want to be a wolf!"
Anne (age 2 1/2): Trent took a phone call and it was a political survey. Anne wanted to know who he was talking to so I tried to explain it and we ended up role-playing. This was our conversation:
Mama: How do you feel about Barak Obama?
Anne: (shrugs): It's a good name ..... for a dog.
She was so serious and straight-faced when she said this. It was absolutely hilarious because she really didn't know what she was talking about, it was just her first thought upon hearing that name.
Anne (almost 3) was taking a bath. She asked Trent if she could see his armpit. Then she lifted up her arm and said, "I don't have fur in my armpit!"
Abbey (21 months): stood on an upside down basked, tumbled off, hit the couch and landed on the floor. She stood up and said, "HOLY MOLY"
January 2011: Anne and Abbey were in their room playing when they were supposed to be sleeping. Suddenly Anne started crying and screaming. Trent called through the door, "Anne, what's wrong?" She responded as she cried, "I told Abbey to bite me and she did..... really hard!!" A few minutes later we heard her saying, "Abbey, don't EVER do THAT Again!!"
Anne (age 3): 7 am at the breakfast table. "Daddy, does God have nipples?"
Anne (age 3): was in need of distraction at breakfast. I asked if Annie had any dreams last night. She said, "Yeah, I dreamed wolves and sparrows and munk-chunks (chipmunks) were eating me." Daddy asked, "Didn't that hurt?" Anne laughed and said, "No! It wasn't real, it was just a dream!!"
Anne (age 3) Abbey (age 23 months) were talking about all of their grandpas. Abbey was saying, "Paw-Paw", and Anne was trying to explain who Great-Grandpa Parmarter was. Anne said, "Well, Abbey, some grandpas are great, and some are just good."
Magdalena (11months) Trent was in the other room and passed gas loudly. Maggie instantly imitated the fart noise with her mouth.
Anne (3 1/2 year) at Aunt Stacy's wedding Marty Sommerfeld was singing "God blessed the broken Road" and Anne loudly asked, "What broken road???"
Anne (4) Abbey (2 1/2) were in their room supposed to be sleeping they were singing "Peter and John went to pray" but they changed the chorus to "he went walking and POOPING and praising God". Obviously this was Anne's doing and Abbey was laughing hysterically. Wouldn't you know the next day (Sunday) Abbey's Sunday School lesson was the lame man and she sang "Walking and pooping" in her class!!
Anne (4) was throwing a fit in her room. We heard her saying, "I just can't bear this any longer!"
Anne (4) Abbey (2 3/4) at lunch
Anne, "You know, groundhog day is coming up."
Abbey, "Oh... what's that?"
Anne, "It's when the groundhogs come out of their holes and the men shoot them when they pop their heads up."
Abbey, "Oh.... Paw-Paw has a gun."
Abbey (almost 3) said to Annie, "DO NOT mangle up my kitty sticker!"
Anne (4 1/2 years) We were talking about heaven and Annie said, "Granny's in heaven" (Granny is Trent's paternal grandmother). Trent and I both said, "Aww... yeah, Granny's in heaven." Annie siad, "Yeah, I bet she's in heaven scolding God."
Anne (4 1/2 years) "Mom! My cow hurts" (Meaning her calf.)
Maggie (22 months) "Emily, I want more of that." {at breakfast, meaning cereal}
Maggie (almost 2) We were in line at KMart and there was a man with longish hair in a ponytail. Maggie said {very loudly} "Is that Jesus??? MOMMMY!! Is that JESUS!!??"
Maggie (age 2) I was trying to help her up on the rocking chair and I accidently poked her under her eye. She said, "Ouch, my ankle!"
Abbey (almost 4) was in the bath and held a wide tooth comb over her chest. She exclaimed, "Look! My nipples are in jail!"
Anne (5) Abbey (almost 4) Maggie (2 1/2) I asked them what they want to be when they grow up. Their responses:
Anne "A nurse"
Abbey "A foster mom"
Maggie, "A foster kid."
Hope these were for for you to read!!
Anne (age 2) March 6, 2010: Woke up crying at 3:00 am. Trent went into her room to ask what was wrong. She cried, "It pinched me!" Trent said, "What pinched you???" She said, "The little monkey pinched me!!" I guess she was dreaming.
Anne (age 2) Mama asked her what she wants to be when she grow up. Anne said, "I want to be a wolf!"
Anne (age 2 1/2): Trent took a phone call and it was a political survey. Anne wanted to know who he was talking to so I tried to explain it and we ended up role-playing. This was our conversation:
Mama: How do you feel about Barak Obama?
Anne: (shrugs): It's a good name ..... for a dog.
She was so serious and straight-faced when she said this. It was absolutely hilarious because she really didn't know what she was talking about, it was just her first thought upon hearing that name.
Anne (almost 3) was taking a bath. She asked Trent if she could see his armpit. Then she lifted up her arm and said, "I don't have fur in my armpit!"
Abbey (21 months): stood on an upside down basked, tumbled off, hit the couch and landed on the floor. She stood up and said, "HOLY MOLY"
January 2011: Anne and Abbey were in their room playing when they were supposed to be sleeping. Suddenly Anne started crying and screaming. Trent called through the door, "Anne, what's wrong?" She responded as she cried, "I told Abbey to bite me and she did..... really hard!!" A few minutes later we heard her saying, "Abbey, don't EVER do THAT Again!!"
Anne (age 3): 7 am at the breakfast table. "Daddy, does God have nipples?"
Anne (age 3): was in need of distraction at breakfast. I asked if Annie had any dreams last night. She said, "Yeah, I dreamed wolves and sparrows and munk-chunks (chipmunks) were eating me." Daddy asked, "Didn't that hurt?" Anne laughed and said, "No! It wasn't real, it was just a dream!!"
Anne (age 3) Abbey (age 23 months) were talking about all of their grandpas. Abbey was saying, "Paw-Paw", and Anne was trying to explain who Great-Grandpa Parmarter was. Anne said, "Well, Abbey, some grandpas are great, and some are just good."
Magdalena (11months) Trent was in the other room and passed gas loudly. Maggie instantly imitated the fart noise with her mouth.
Anne (3 1/2 year) at Aunt Stacy's wedding Marty Sommerfeld was singing "God blessed the broken Road" and Anne loudly asked, "What broken road???"
Anne (4) Abbey (2 1/2) were in their room supposed to be sleeping they were singing "Peter and John went to pray" but they changed the chorus to "he went walking and POOPING and praising God". Obviously this was Anne's doing and Abbey was laughing hysterically. Wouldn't you know the next day (Sunday) Abbey's Sunday School lesson was the lame man and she sang "Walking and pooping" in her class!!
Anne (4) was throwing a fit in her room. We heard her saying, "I just can't bear this any longer!"
Anne (4) Abbey (2 3/4) at lunch
Anne, "You know, groundhog day is coming up."
Abbey, "Oh... what's that?"
Anne, "It's when the groundhogs come out of their holes and the men shoot them when they pop their heads up."
Abbey, "Oh.... Paw-Paw has a gun."
Abbey (almost 3) said to Annie, "DO NOT mangle up my kitty sticker!"
Anne (4 1/2 years) We were talking about heaven and Annie said, "Granny's in heaven" (Granny is Trent's paternal grandmother). Trent and I both said, "Aww... yeah, Granny's in heaven." Annie siad, "Yeah, I bet she's in heaven scolding God."
Anne (4 1/2 years) "Mom! My cow hurts" (Meaning her calf.)
Maggie (22 months) "Emily, I want more of that." {at breakfast, meaning cereal}
Maggie (almost 2) We were in line at KMart and there was a man with longish hair in a ponytail. Maggie said {very loudly} "Is that Jesus??? MOMMMY!! Is that JESUS!!??"
Maggie (age 2) I was trying to help her up on the rocking chair and I accidently poked her under her eye. She said, "Ouch, my ankle!"
Abbey (almost 4) was in the bath and held a wide tooth comb over her chest. She exclaimed, "Look! My nipples are in jail!"
Anne (5) Abbey (almost 4) Maggie (2 1/2) I asked them what they want to be when they grow up. Their responses:
Anne "A nurse"
Abbey "A foster mom"
Maggie, "A foster kid."
Hope these were for for you to read!!
Joy Returning
Since our foster daughter left joy has returned to our home. We still pray for her daily, but we no longer have the high stress of caring for her in our home. I have so much more patience for everyone else since she no longer consumes all of my energy.
So where have I been this past month? Well, I've been catching up on my sleep, lazing about and doing minimal work. We have started our search for a home. However, that has been a little more stressful than I thought it would be and was consuming a lot of our time. This past weekend we decided to back off a little from the search and not try to force anything. I was reminding myself of how we came to be in this home in Conestoga and how it was not something we were looking for, but the opportunity presented itself and we went for it. Unfortunately, I don't think that every situation will be as clear cut as that one was! In the meantime I am reminded to seek God's face in our everyday lives and see where He is working.
Today I read Hebrews 12: 2-3 which says, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
I was reminded that while a house is important, it is not the most important thing. In fact, there are much more important things to think about than where we will live. One thing that I would love if you all would pray for is our foster son. In about a week and a half a judge will decide whether he will stay with us or go to the other foster home with his sister. I'll be sure to update you all! In the meantime, we are living JOY-fully!
So where have I been this past month? Well, I've been catching up on my sleep, lazing about and doing minimal work. We have started our search for a home. However, that has been a little more stressful than I thought it would be and was consuming a lot of our time. This past weekend we decided to back off a little from the search and not try to force anything. I was reminding myself of how we came to be in this home in Conestoga and how it was not something we were looking for, but the opportunity presented itself and we went for it. Unfortunately, I don't think that every situation will be as clear cut as that one was! In the meantime I am reminded to seek God's face in our everyday lives and see where He is working.
Today I read Hebrews 12: 2-3 which says, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
I was reminded that while a house is important, it is not the most important thing. In fact, there are much more important things to think about than where we will live. One thing that I would love if you all would pray for is our foster son. In about a week and a half a judge will decide whether he will stay with us or go to the other foster home with his sister. I'll be sure to update you all! In the meantime, we are living JOY-fully!
Friday, January 18, 2013
Emotions
This morning, after five months of living in our home, our foster daughter left our home. She has grown and changed throughout her five months with us, yet she has also struggled. She has always had many tantrums (among other issues), and prior to Christmas she completely lost control. While in time-out in her bedroom she climbed on top of a dresser, unlocked the window and was opening it to climb out of the 2nd story onto a porch roof. It was then that I realized I cannot keep her safe. Her fits continued and about a week after the window incident she was again in time-out and punched herself in the face and made her nose bleed. We could not keep her with us any longer.
After informing our caseworker we were told that it may be up to 30 days for them to find a family to take the children. Siblings came together and should leave together. However, after the self-harming incident the children's official guardian through the county thought it may be in each of the children's best interest to be separated. Our hope was that our foster daughter would go to a home where there are no other small children so she could receive as much attention as possible. About a week after hearing they may be separated we heard that no, they will stay together. We were upset, but understood. And after hearing they would stay together we were told that there is a disagreement between the "agency" and the "guardian". One believes they should stay together and the other believes they should be separated. It is up to a judge to determine this.
In the meantime, a family was found for the children. Our foster daughter had another fit at lunch yesterday which resulted in her throwing her plate and attempting to hit Maggie. I called our caseworker mid-fit and she was shocked at the screaming and the yelling that was going on. We heard at 5 pm yesterday that our foster daughter was going to be removed from our home, but that our foster son will be stay with us until a judge can determine whether they should be together or separated.
As our foster daughter left today there were many tears shed by Anne and Abbey. However, in a short time they were happy again. Our foster daughter needs a lot of help and I am certain she will get it with the new family. We will still see her occasionally which I believe will help our children and her in this transition.
We are feeling very much at peace with this. We just ask for continued prayer that when this goes before the judge that the right decision will be made.
After informing our caseworker we were told that it may be up to 30 days for them to find a family to take the children. Siblings came together and should leave together. However, after the self-harming incident the children's official guardian through the county thought it may be in each of the children's best interest to be separated. Our hope was that our foster daughter would go to a home where there are no other small children so she could receive as much attention as possible. About a week after hearing they may be separated we heard that no, they will stay together. We were upset, but understood. And after hearing they would stay together we were told that there is a disagreement between the "agency" and the "guardian". One believes they should stay together and the other believes they should be separated. It is up to a judge to determine this.
In the meantime, a family was found for the children. Our foster daughter had another fit at lunch yesterday which resulted in her throwing her plate and attempting to hit Maggie. I called our caseworker mid-fit and she was shocked at the screaming and the yelling that was going on. We heard at 5 pm yesterday that our foster daughter was going to be removed from our home, but that our foster son will be stay with us until a judge can determine whether they should be together or separated.
As our foster daughter left today there were many tears shed by Anne and Abbey. However, in a short time they were happy again. Our foster daughter needs a lot of help and I am certain she will get it with the new family. We will still see her occasionally which I believe will help our children and her in this transition.
We are feeling very much at peace with this. We just ask for continued prayer that when this goes before the judge that the right decision will be made.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
The Year of Rejuvenation!
Well, we're already a week into 2013. So far it doesn't feel much different from 2012 - but I have high hopes for this year. We are hoping that 2013 will be the year of rejuvenation for our family. We're not exactly sure what this year will look like, but we have some ideas knocking around in these crazy heads of ours.
One thing that may happen in 2013 is a move. We're hoping to take advantage of the low interest rates and the bummer of a seller's market (that bit us in 2012) and snag a home where we can stay for a long long time and raise our family. We're hopeful that our next home will have a better internet connection than we have here at Sunrise Hollow - the "hollow" indicates a dip in the landscape and that translates to poor cell phone reception which means poor internet connection since we have a wireless card that runs off cell phone tower reception.
We are also fairly certain that we (as in I) will be homeschooling Anne for Kindergarten. I am actually extremely excited about this. I have been looking up curriculum and can hardly wait to start teaching her! Anne has decided that she likes numbers after all and is now teaching herself to add and subtract. Over the summer I had started to teach her but she wasn't interested and didn't understand so I let it go. Now she has it in her head that she loves numbers. On the way to a doctor appointment earlier this week she was in the back of the van teaching Abbey, "Now, if I have one cat and I give it to you, then how many do I have?" Abbey answers, "None", Anne responds, "That's right, Abbey! You can do math, too!" Anne has lofty dreams for herself. Some things she would like to learn in 2013 - to play an instrument (she has a recorder thanks to Uncle Todd & (soon-to-be) Aunt Sarah), she also would like to learn how to speak Spanish, sew all kinds of things (she has made one doll quilt so far from her sewing kit she got for Christmas), and she wants to learn geography and about animals and read a lot more books.
Abbey continues to be a little bit less vocal about what she wants to do. I think that in 2013 Abbey will begin reading even more (she can read over a dozen words now). I imagine Abbey will also learn to sew a little later in the year. If Anne starts music lessons (I would prefer piano) then I imagine Abbey will learn that as well. I'd also like to have a table set up for Abbey to work on larger puzzles over a period of days since she can do 60-piece puzzles with very little trouble and she really enjoys puzzling away!
My big goal for Magdalena is to potty-train her! As my faithful readers know, potty training is the bane of my existence as Mama Hess. I'm not good at it and I don't have the patience for it. But, at nearly 2 1/2 she's the oldest of any of the girls to not yet be potty trained. So, it has to be done. Anne also plans to teach Maggie her alphabet this year. She can write the letter "M", and is finally starting to be more interested in reading and writing! Maggie has also started enjoying craft time so I imagine 2013 will be filled with crafts galore!
2013 will bring about two family weddings. I am beyond thrilled for each of these couples. I have the tremendous honor of being a bridesmaid in one of the weddings and the girls will also be the flower girls for this wedding. I promise to post lots of pictures!
Other than that, I hope to actually have a spare moment or two to pick up my Bible that has sat and gathered dust on the shelf since our foster children came. I've missed the comfort of holding it and praying while the kiddos nap. These days I'm so exhausted by the time I get all 5 kids down to nap that I also nap when I used to have my quiet time. So after being completely drained of all physical, emotional and spiritual strength at the end of 2012 I'm hoping that in 2013 I will be rejuvenated physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Looking forward to another year of blogging!
One thing that may happen in 2013 is a move. We're hoping to take advantage of the low interest rates and the bummer of a seller's market (that bit us in 2012) and snag a home where we can stay for a long long time and raise our family. We're hopeful that our next home will have a better internet connection than we have here at Sunrise Hollow - the "hollow" indicates a dip in the landscape and that translates to poor cell phone reception which means poor internet connection since we have a wireless card that runs off cell phone tower reception.
We are also fairly certain that we (as in I) will be homeschooling Anne for Kindergarten. I am actually extremely excited about this. I have been looking up curriculum and can hardly wait to start teaching her! Anne has decided that she likes numbers after all and is now teaching herself to add and subtract. Over the summer I had started to teach her but she wasn't interested and didn't understand so I let it go. Now she has it in her head that she loves numbers. On the way to a doctor appointment earlier this week she was in the back of the van teaching Abbey, "Now, if I have one cat and I give it to you, then how many do I have?" Abbey answers, "None", Anne responds, "That's right, Abbey! You can do math, too!" Anne has lofty dreams for herself. Some things she would like to learn in 2013 - to play an instrument (she has a recorder thanks to Uncle Todd & (soon-to-be) Aunt Sarah), she also would like to learn how to speak Spanish, sew all kinds of things (she has made one doll quilt so far from her sewing kit she got for Christmas), and she wants to learn geography and about animals and read a lot more books.
Abbey continues to be a little bit less vocal about what she wants to do. I think that in 2013 Abbey will begin reading even more (she can read over a dozen words now). I imagine Abbey will also learn to sew a little later in the year. If Anne starts music lessons (I would prefer piano) then I imagine Abbey will learn that as well. I'd also like to have a table set up for Abbey to work on larger puzzles over a period of days since she can do 60-piece puzzles with very little trouble and she really enjoys puzzling away!
My big goal for Magdalena is to potty-train her! As my faithful readers know, potty training is the bane of my existence as Mama Hess. I'm not good at it and I don't have the patience for it. But, at nearly 2 1/2 she's the oldest of any of the girls to not yet be potty trained. So, it has to be done. Anne also plans to teach Maggie her alphabet this year. She can write the letter "M", and is finally starting to be more interested in reading and writing! Maggie has also started enjoying craft time so I imagine 2013 will be filled with crafts galore!
2013 will bring about two family weddings. I am beyond thrilled for each of these couples. I have the tremendous honor of being a bridesmaid in one of the weddings and the girls will also be the flower girls for this wedding. I promise to post lots of pictures!
Other than that, I hope to actually have a spare moment or two to pick up my Bible that has sat and gathered dust on the shelf since our foster children came. I've missed the comfort of holding it and praying while the kiddos nap. These days I'm so exhausted by the time I get all 5 kids down to nap that I also nap when I used to have my quiet time. So after being completely drained of all physical, emotional and spiritual strength at the end of 2012 I'm hoping that in 2013 I will be rejuvenated physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Looking forward to another year of blogging!
Monday, December 24, 2012
Happy Christmas!
Since this has probably been the busiest year of our lives, it seemed a shame not to be able to send out a Christmas letter to update our far away friends and family. But with the help of the internet we should be able to reach just about everyone who we would have mailed a card and letter to. It's not the same as having a cute Christmas card to hang up and look at, but it'll have to do for this year.
2012 was busy, busy, busy. In February we moved out of the city after over six years. We decided to rent out our home instead of selling it. Unfortunately this went terribly awry and ended up adding heaps of stress to our lives. After evicting our tenant in August and cleaning it up throughout that month, listing it in September, we were thankful that the sale of our house went through in late November.
The more children we had the more quickly we began to outgrow our little city house and longed to be out in the country. Through a series of strange events which I like to attribute to God, we ended up moving to Conestoga, Pa, to the very home where I spent much of my childhood (from age 5-11). It is so wonderful to be out in the country.
Everywhere I look I find something to be joyful about.
A butterfly.
A tire swing.
A walk at the barns.
A chance to skip down a grassy hill.
Many fun-filled days at Trout Run.
A campfire.
We had a glorious summer. A week of "staycation" meant a trip to the Baltimore Zoo, Hershey Gardens & Butterfly House, a date to Rock Ford Plantation, a trip to the beach. We spent a weekend at a cabin.
We went camping at Camp Swatara.
Late in the summer we became foster parents. After having said "No" to our first two calls, we received one close to dinner time on a Monday. Two children, a girl and a boy. And our lives have been forever altered. For a few months we had five children under age five. It was completely insane. We have been pushed to our limits with patience, time, and energy. We have been ready to quit multiple times, yet for some reason we don't. We persevere and press on. We have good days, we have in between days, and we have bad days. The emotional swings that we have are wild. Some days are great and we can't imagine our lives without these two children. Other days are horrible and we wonder when they are leaving.
Our foster daughter was three (almost four) when she came to us. For their protection we are not allowed to use their names or show any pictures. You can take my word on this - they are beautiful! Our foster daughter has improved tremendously since she came. Week one she was hitting, pulling hair, snatching toys, and screaming. She still screams a lot but those other things have pretty much stopped. She is definitely an instigator and will intentionally upset the other children. BUT, she has learned to share pretty well. In fact, sometimes she shares more willingly than our girls. She doesn't fully understand who He is, but she loves Jesus. She is obsessed with the story of Jesus dying on the cross. Her first night with us I sang "Jesus Loves Me" to her and she finally stopped crying. We're making progress.
Our foster son is precious. He came at 9 months and is now 13 months old. We've gotten him through bronchitis, 3 teeth, colds, and celebrated his first birthday. He is walking and talking. He came to us sitting and staring. He now interacts well with the children and lights up when he sees them. He came to us only showing emotion when he would see his baby bottle; he is now weaned off the bottle and shows more emotion towards people than to food. {Although he really does love food -- if you could see him you would be able to tell.} Daddy is his favorite. He gets to the door as fast as he can when Trent comes home from work.
Annie turned five in November. The highlight of the year for her was learning to read. She reads at a fourth grade level and loves it. She is starting to be interested in reading books for information, not just for stories. She loves to play school and is most often the teacher. Anne is compassionate, kind, and loving. She does have her moments of uncontrollable emotions and I wonder what she'll be like at 13. Annie is growing to love the Lord more and more. She loves reading to her sisters and baby brother.
Abbey is now 3 1/2. She still loves puzzles. She has also really enjoyed playing with play-doh. Abbey can read several words and enjoys being Annie's student. Abbey is usually the peacemaker in the house. She doesn't like anyone to be upset and quickly comforts any crying child by bringing them a toy or hugging them. Abbey continues to be a diligent child. She has a list of several people in our church who are older or sick who she prays for every night. She never misses one of these people on her list. She is a very mild little girl and is an absolute joy to have around.
Magdalena is 2 years old and is crazy. She talks all the time and is just really really silly. It doesn't help that she gets tons of encouragement from her big sisters. Maggie adores our foster son and he is her baby brother (even though he is much bigger than she is!). Magdalena adds a sparkle to our lives. We can't imagine our lives without that girl. I can't help but bite her cheeks and squish her all day long.
I have obviously been busy this year with packing from our move out of the city and taking care of the children. I love teaching the children and doing crafts with them. I love baking Christmas cookies, but I don't love washing the dishes. This has been a stressful year for me with the addition of our foster children. I have been so humbled and have depended on my husband, my mother and father-in-law, and my mom more than ever before. I know I could not have made it through these past four months without their support. I am definitely looking forward to 2013 and am hopeful that it will be a year of rejuvenation for our family.
I (Trent) have also been busy this year. My work at BCF Group (Insurance agency) continues to go well. The last few months of the year have been especially busy as we acquired a small agency in the area and have been working hard to make a smooth transition for the customers. It's been a challenge juggling my responsibilities - work, family, church leadership team, dealing with our problem tenant, getting our house sold, mowing the lawn, etc. I'm continually thankful for many things; especially the health of our family, and an enjoyable, stable job that provides for our needs. I leave 2012 feeling a bit "spent", so I'm also looking forward to 2013 as a year of rejuvenation.
We hope you and yours have a safe and happy holiday season. Merry Christmas!
Love,
The Hesses
The more children we had the more quickly we began to outgrow our little city house and longed to be out in the country. Through a series of strange events which I like to attribute to God, we ended up moving to Conestoga, Pa, to the very home where I spent much of my childhood (from age 5-11). It is so wonderful to be out in the country.
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| Before |
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| After |
A butterfly.
A tire swing.
A sunrise.
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| (Photo Credit: Trent Hess) |
A slip-n-slide.
A walk at the barns.
A chance to skip down a grassy hill.
Many fun-filled days at Trout Run.
A campfire.
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| Eating s'mores around the campfire. |
We had a glorious summer. A week of "staycation" meant a trip to the Baltimore Zoo, Hershey Gardens & Butterfly House, a date to Rock Ford Plantation, a trip to the beach. We spent a weekend at a cabin.
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| Baltimore Zoo. |
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| Annie and Paw-Paw fishing at Camp Swatara. |
Our foster daughter was three (almost four) when she came to us. For their protection we are not allowed to use their names or show any pictures. You can take my word on this - they are beautiful! Our foster daughter has improved tremendously since she came. Week one she was hitting, pulling hair, snatching toys, and screaming. She still screams a lot but those other things have pretty much stopped. She is definitely an instigator and will intentionally upset the other children. BUT, she has learned to share pretty well. In fact, sometimes she shares more willingly than our girls. She doesn't fully understand who He is, but she loves Jesus. She is obsessed with the story of Jesus dying on the cross. Her first night with us I sang "Jesus Loves Me" to her and she finally stopped crying. We're making progress.
Our foster son is precious. He came at 9 months and is now 13 months old. We've gotten him through bronchitis, 3 teeth, colds, and celebrated his first birthday. He is walking and talking. He came to us sitting and staring. He now interacts well with the children and lights up when he sees them. He came to us only showing emotion when he would see his baby bottle; he is now weaned off the bottle and shows more emotion towards people than to food. {Although he really does love food -- if you could see him you would be able to tell.} Daddy is his favorite. He gets to the door as fast as he can when Trent comes home from work.
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| Typical Anne-face. |
Annie turned five in November. The highlight of the year for her was learning to read. She reads at a fourth grade level and loves it. She is starting to be interested in reading books for information, not just for stories. She loves to play school and is most often the teacher. Anne is compassionate, kind, and loving. She does have her moments of uncontrollable emotions and I wonder what she'll be like at 13. Annie is growing to love the Lord more and more. She loves reading to her sisters and baby brother.
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| Abbey |
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| The puzzle Queen. |
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| Magdalena |
Magdalena is 2 years old and is crazy. She talks all the time and is just really really silly. It doesn't help that she gets tons of encouragement from her big sisters. Maggie adores our foster son and he is her baby brother (even though he is much bigger than she is!). Magdalena adds a sparkle to our lives. We can't imagine our lives without that girl. I can't help but bite her cheeks and squish her all day long.
I have obviously been busy this year with packing from our move out of the city and taking care of the children. I love teaching the children and doing crafts with them. I love baking Christmas cookies, but I don't love washing the dishes. This has been a stressful year for me with the addition of our foster children. I have been so humbled and have depended on my husband, my mother and father-in-law, and my mom more than ever before. I know I could not have made it through these past four months without their support. I am definitely looking forward to 2013 and am hopeful that it will be a year of rejuvenation for our family.
I (Trent) have also been busy this year. My work at BCF Group (Insurance agency) continues to go well. The last few months of the year have been especially busy as we acquired a small agency in the area and have been working hard to make a smooth transition for the customers. It's been a challenge juggling my responsibilities - work, family, church leadership team, dealing with our problem tenant, getting our house sold, mowing the lawn, etc. I'm continually thankful for many things; especially the health of our family, and an enjoyable, stable job that provides for our needs. I leave 2012 feeling a bit "spent", so I'm also looking forward to 2013 as a year of rejuvenation.
We hope you and yours have a safe and happy holiday season. Merry Christmas!
Love,
The Hesses
Friday, December 14, 2012
Truth
I have tried to be very transparent here about how life is for us now as foster parents. I am learning quite a bit about life and about myself.
Life is hard for a lot of people. Up until now, I knew that in my head, but never truly experienced it. After having conversations with "mom" I am realizing just how difficult things can be for many people and it has made it real to me.
I'm learning about myself. I am learning that although I thought I always loved children, I have always loved out of my own love, and not the Love of God. The love that comes from God is rich and pure, measureless and strong. The love that comes from Emily is conditional, it grows weary, it is weak, it fails, it is full of holes.
I've never had to pray to ask God to help me love one of my children. Even when they were wearing on my patience or not sleeping well I had a deep, innate, fierce love for my girls. My feelings are not the same for our foster daughter. She wears on my patience, she exhausts me, she doesn't obey, she doesn't sleep well, she is mean, she is manipulative, she doesn't sit still, she doesn't stop making noise. These things may not seem like a big deal to you. I'm sure if I were reading this, I would think "Well, she's just a child! She has gone through a traumatic experience." And these words are true. I heard someone describe foster children as "the annoying neighbor kid who doesn't ever leave." And if you have never taken in foster children this probably sounds cruel, but that's how I feel a lot of the time.
The other night Anne told me she saw a string in my hair. When she went to get it out she realized it was attached to my head. Yes, I have gray hairs now. Several of them. I hope that whenever our foster children go back home to their mother that I will be able to seek God's face with more passion and time than I do currently. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to find some reason for why we are living the way we are living, if the stress, the gray hairs, the impatience has done any good. Maybe I'll never know.
Oh, and for anyone who has ever heard that foster parents are in it for the money -- trust me -- they aren't. The pay stinks and the work is hard. I could make more money babysitting and I wouldn't have the responsibilities I do as a foster mom.
And all of that to say, if our foster kids were to leave tomorrow, we would miss them terribly. It's a bizarre pull of emotions. Plus - that babykins is just so sweet.
Life is hard for a lot of people. Up until now, I knew that in my head, but never truly experienced it. After having conversations with "mom" I am realizing just how difficult things can be for many people and it has made it real to me.
I'm learning about myself. I am learning that although I thought I always loved children, I have always loved out of my own love, and not the Love of God. The love that comes from God is rich and pure, measureless and strong. The love that comes from Emily is conditional, it grows weary, it is weak, it fails, it is full of holes.
I've never had to pray to ask God to help me love one of my children. Even when they were wearing on my patience or not sleeping well I had a deep, innate, fierce love for my girls. My feelings are not the same for our foster daughter. She wears on my patience, she exhausts me, she doesn't obey, she doesn't sleep well, she is mean, she is manipulative, she doesn't sit still, she doesn't stop making noise. These things may not seem like a big deal to you. I'm sure if I were reading this, I would think "Well, she's just a child! She has gone through a traumatic experience." And these words are true. I heard someone describe foster children as "the annoying neighbor kid who doesn't ever leave." And if you have never taken in foster children this probably sounds cruel, but that's how I feel a lot of the time.
The other night Anne told me she saw a string in my hair. When she went to get it out she realized it was attached to my head. Yes, I have gray hairs now. Several of them. I hope that whenever our foster children go back home to their mother that I will be able to seek God's face with more passion and time than I do currently. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to find some reason for why we are living the way we are living, if the stress, the gray hairs, the impatience has done any good. Maybe I'll never know.
Oh, and for anyone who has ever heard that foster parents are in it for the money -- trust me -- they aren't. The pay stinks and the work is hard. I could make more money babysitting and I wouldn't have the responsibilities I do as a foster mom.
And all of that to say, if our foster kids were to leave tomorrow, we would miss them terribly. It's a bizarre pull of emotions. Plus - that babykins is just so sweet.
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