Just Another Day. . .

*Abbey looking sweet at Stacy's wedding.*

First of all, I have to thank my friend Jill for sharing this awesome link with me about motherhood. Motherhood is a Calling (And Where your Children Rank). I was so encouraged by this. I think I should start off every morning reading it. Maybe I will!

Today, despite the heat, I decided to do something fun with the girls that we could never do if we didn't live in the city. We walked (with the double stroller) to Turkey Hill in the 90+ degree heat, got slushies, walked to a shady spot on F&Ms campus, and sat together laughing and drinking slushies. We walked home, full of joy, and love for each other. They spent time in our little pool, and I sprayed the big girls with the hose. We ate lunch, then I was hanging Anne's sheets to dry outside on our make-shift tiny clothesline that Trent strung up for me, and it was an instant tent. Much laughter and chasing ensued.

**My nifty city clothesline.**

We didn't do anything extraordinary. We are just living. Of course, not everyday is full of sunshine and rainbows. We have a child who is in the thick of potty training and has the same issues as big sis (holding her poop/refusal to poop on the potty). I'm amazed at how much of my day revolves around bodily functions. I clean up messy shorts at the playground, get peed on, wash wet bedding when someone drinks too much before bed, and there's nothing like someone yelling, "Moooooom!!! Maggie spit up and Petey is licking it!!" This is my life right now. As we go through the potty training craziness again, I'm reminded that it wasn't all that long ago that Annie was there. And I'm grateful for how far she has come! And then I remember that before too long, Magdalena will be there!

*Typical sisterly-love*

I wanted to give an update on where God is leading us regarding our "Call to Adopt". Because, I truly believe it is a calling. As I was processing my thoughts aloud with Trent the other evening, I was telling him how afraid I am of foster-adopt. Mainly because I know there is a chance that a child could be placed with us, live in our home for a number of days (or months) only to be taken away again. I told him that I don't think I could handle that, emotionally.

Isaiah 42:16 (NIV) "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."

Of course, Trent, being the sensible being that God graciously gave me as a husband said something along the lines of, "So let me get this straight. We're willing to sacrifice financially for an adoption. We're willing to sacrifice our time for an adoption. But we are not willing to sacrifice our emotions? Is that correct?" To which I answered "YES! It sounds too hard." To which Trent responded with a hard stare. I'm coming around to it. I know it won't be easy, but does God want us to do things just because they are easy?

Matthew 7:13 (NIV) "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it."

Yes, the narrow gate. The difficult way. I do not know exactly what God has planned for us. I know that I wanted an international adoption. But we prayed for guidance, for clear signs of opened and closed doors. When we received a "closed door" signal with a particular agency, I did tons of research on other agencies and countries that Trent and I might be approved for. I'd say the research was fruitless, yet it wasn't, because our prayers were answered with a resounding "CLOSED".

Isaiah 30:21 (NIV) "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

We have signed up to attend an information meeting with a local agency for foster care and foster-adopt in the beginning of September.

Proverbs 24:12 (NIV) "If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?"

I'm not sure if the passage below is a translation or a paraphrase, but regardless, I like the wording of the same Scripture from Proverbs.

Proverbs 24:12 "Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act."

Today I feel thankful for God's forgiveness. For life. For freedom to have "just another day". For each of my special children, their unique personalities, and all the craziness that having three children ages 3, 2, and almost 1 bring!

Oh, and the Big Girls taught Baby how to "Praise God!" When they say, "Maggie, praise God!" She lifts both of her hands Heavenward (and sometimes she waves).

**Big Sisters loving Baby. The feeling is mutual.*

The Women of Titus 2

Do you know this portion of Scripture?

Let me share it with you:

Titus 2:1-5 (NIV)

"You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

Did you catch it? The older women are to teach the younger women. And, I think that while all of the attributes listed are good, they can almost be boiled down to this "teach the younger women to be content." Almost, but not quite.

I've had conversations with young mothers like myself who feel that they aren't doing enough. That there is pressure to do more. Basically, to be outside the home doing "something". But in Paul's letter here to Titus, he is clearly stating that the young women are to love their children, to be busy at HOME, and to be subject to their husbands. Perhaps some find these verses constraining, but I find them freeing. Praise God that I can be at home with my children! Praise God that I can be busy at home! Praise God that I can love my husband and be subject to him! Praise God for the older women who are teaching the younger women!!

Wait!! Are there older women teaching us younger women? Or are we floundering, alone, lost, and confused. I hope that if you are a young mother reading this, that you have someone older and more experienced teaching you. I know I'm thankful for the older women who have spoken encouraging words to me. "You're doing a great job, Emily." "I pray for you daily!" "I love you!" "I love your family." I am definitely thankful to be in a church where there are many women who speak encouraging words to me on a regular basis.

Last month in our church newsletter this poem was shared, and it really encouraged me. I wanted to share it with you.

"What did I get Done Today?" By Shirley A. Warfel
May 13, 1982
"What did I get done today?"
I asked myself at the close of day.
There were meals to plan -
some exotic dishes,
others labeled "quite nutritious."
There were beds to change and wash to do
and stacks of dishes to name a few.
There were friends to call and bills to pay
and scattered toys to put away.
There's always plenty of mending to do,
and don't forget, Spring cleaning, too!

But, "what did I get done today?"

My daughters and I had quite an excursion,
with venturous tales beyond all diversion.
We hiked to a farm, "so far away",
and watched the baby lambs at play.
We sailed some leaves down a little brook,
and tossed some stones in the minnow's nook.
We picked some flowers in the shade,
and talked about God and all He had made.
We gazed at a butterfly's intricate wings,
and marveled at such a beautiful thing.

We had lunch where the willow bends,
and left some morsels for our "friends".
We held hands and sang and laughed,
and then we even skipped our naps!
We wished some wishes and dreamed some dreams,
and spent some time thinking up schemes.
At supper we relived it again,
as we told Daddy, "how busy we'd been!"
That night we stared in the looking glass,
Oh my, how little girls grow up fast!

Now, "what did I really get done today?"
I taught a child how to love and pray.


So many things in this poem resonated with me. What about you? What did you really get done today?

Where God Leads, I Will Follow

I was so sure that God was leading us to an international adoption. We began the process when a variety of things started going wrong. There was a lack of communication between us and the agency, and Trent and I just got the impression that God was making it clear to us that an international adoption is a closed door at this time. I was very disappointed.

We still feel called to adopt our next child. But where is God leading?

Several people had mentioned domestic adoption, and as far as I know there are two options. 1. Domestic Infant Adoption, and 2. Foster-Adopt. We had previously ruled out option number 1 because (in general) there is a much bigger demand for infants than there is supply (as terrible as that may sound). And (in general), many people who chose this form of adoption cannot have biological children.

So we are looking in to foster-adopt. We are definitely taking this slow, and praying about it. At this time we are trying to get more information on where we start and what will be best for our family. Any prayers are appreciated.

I read this today and was so encouraged.

Psalm 46:1-11 (NIV)
¹ God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

⁴ There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

⁷ The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

⁸ Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolation he has brought on the earth.
⁹ He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

¹¹ The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress


I am reminded to take time to "be still" as verse 10 says. Over the coming months I am going to take as much time as my children allow to just be still and be in awe of our God. His plans are far greater than my own, and I am trusting in Him to lead our little Hess Family wherever He wills us to go.

Quick update

Hey all!

Magdalena got a clean bill of health at her latest well-child check-up! She weighs 14 pounds, 14 ounces, and was 27 inches long. In both height and weight she is in the 5-10th percentile. Just a fun little tid-bit, she weighs 2 ounces more than Abbey did at 9 months, and is the same length as Abbey! It looks like our little peanut will catch up to Miss Abigail before too long!

Our doctor recommended that we begin Maggie on some grains, and to try rice first. I don't know why I didn't listen!! I was so eager for her to be able to feed herself that I went and bought some wheat-free organic baby "cookies" so that I could have a little break during meal times. She LOVED them. I gave her 2 at lunch yesterday and 1 at dinner. And guess what? She was up almost all night crying.

It looks like big sisters will get to enjoy those little goodies instead of Baby. Even though the cookies are wheat-free, they are not gluten-free. I'm not going to introduce anything else this week, in order to make sure the gluten is completely out of her system before I try the rice cereal. I'm looking into purchasing some gluten-free baby puffs. Unfortunately, my grocery store doesn't sell the gluten-free, so I would have to order them online. The only problem with this is that you have to purchase a whole case, and if they upset her stomach I just wasted money....

Abbey is insistent upon wearing panties. Yesterday she wet herself every time all morning long, even if I had just sat her on the potty. However, after nap we tried again and she had success on the potty!! It was very exciting. This morning she went pee on the potty before we went to the playground. While we were at the playground for quite a while she was swinging and told me she needed to go!! So, I hustled over there with her and Maggie in the Snugli and she went again! Unfortunately, I think she was so excited that she didn't go the full amount, and she wet herself soon after we got home. But still, it was a great improvement, and I am seeing a glimmer of hope!

Well, that's all I have time for right now.

Enjoy a picture from my older sister, Stacy's wedding.

My Flesh is Weak

Over the past couple of weeks I have been bombarded with Scripture concerning our human weakness. I am totally willing to admit that I fall into the category of having a great weakness when it comes to desiring things of this world when I know they are not right for me.

Galatians 5:16-17 (New International Version)

"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want."

So here we are. My flesh desires a home in the country. The Spirit desires an adoption. They are contrary to each other. At this time, we can't have both at the same time. This conflict of Flesh vs. Spirit is causing a lot of discussion between Trent and I, but also making me realize that Jesus left us with the Holy Spirit for a reason. He doesn't want us to do "whatever we want".

Matthew 26:41 (English Standard Version)

"Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

I feel this way more often than I care to admit. It's not enough just to admit that my flesh is weak even though the spirit is willing. This verse gives us something to DO about it. Watch and Pray! This is essential for me to remember. Pray, Pray, Pray!

Romans 8:26 (New International Version)

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."

I love this verse. So, yes, we are weak, but guess what? We are not alone!! The Spirit helps us!! The Matthew verse tells us to pray. But sometimes we don't know how to pray, so what do we do? The Spirit himself intercedes for us! Now, this doesn't mean that we don't attempt to pray. I believe this means that when we are praying, and don't have the words (so we are contemplating or perhaps silent) the Spirit is interceding for us.

We make choices all day long. Some are much easier to make than others. What should I eat for lunch? what should I wear? etc are some easier choices. Of course, then there are difficult choices: What school should I send my children to? Should we move? When? Should we adopt? When? etc. Because, let's be honest, what we eat for lunch is probably not going to be a life-changing decision. I wouldn't consider myself a "worrier", I like to characterize myself more as a "planner". So, if I have a plan or goal in mind, I like to stick to it. The trouble comes when I don't have a specific time frame. Then, I tend to edge closer to the worrying side of things. Thankfully Trent hardly worries about anything, and he can quite easily bring me back to reality and help me not to worry about things.

I guess what it comes down to is faith. Perhaps my faith is not as strong as it should be.

Hebrews 11:6 (New International Version)

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

I cannot please God without faith.

So here I am. I want to please God. I want to remove the "fleshy" side of me. I need to be content. I need to pray. I am willing to do what the Lord requires of me, but my flesh is making it difficult.

Luke 9:23 (New International Version)

"Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.""

Did you catch that? If I want to be a disciple, I must DENY myself (pleasures of this world) and take up my cross DAILY, and follow Him. This is a conscious effort EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.! Maybe you don't have the same struggles I do, and that is great! However, I think if we are honest with each other, most of us struggle with something!

I'm thankful for each new day, for a new beginning, and yes, even for another day to deny myself. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband and three darling daughters. I am reminded to spend each moment I have with my four dearest people to the fullest. There is no sense in complaining about my selfishness. My children are happy where we live, why make them discontented by revealing my own weakness to them? My husband is happy, why nag and complain to him so that I am as the wife in Proverbs 27:15 "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day".

;)

Magdalena is 9 months

Didn't I blog about Maggie being 6 months just the other day? How has 3 months gone by already?

When you have your first child, many many people come up to you and tell you to enjoy it because it goes fast. And while I have always believed it, it's crazy to be living it. The next time Maggie goes to get professional pictures she will be one year old... but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

Here is Maggie at 9 months:



What can Maggie do? Well, she is sitting up unsupported, she is nearly crawling on her hands and knees. She can go about 3-4 hand crawls, then she usually ends up moving her arm/hands and half-dragging her legs. She can pull-to-stand!! This is so neat, but it really shows that the end of her "baby days" are very near. {Trent can hardly wait!}


She can also get herself into the sitting position from the crawling position, but not every time. At about 8 months Magdalena started saying "II", which I thought sounded like "Hi!" Just a couple weeks ago she started waving when she says it, so we confirmed that she really is saying "Hi!". When we are at the store she likes to wave to people and say, "III!" It's very precious.



Magdalena continues to be a poor sleeper. She is usually waking up 1 or 2 times in the night to nurse. Thankfully she goes right back to sleep after I feed her. A couple months ago we had taken her off all food to determine whether she has a food allergy. So, we are very very slowly reintroducing food. So far, she does well with applesauce and sweet potatoes. This week we will try pears. She still cries, but not nearly as much as when we first started food.

*evidence of Maggie crying*

Maggie also has (almost) 2 teeth on the bottom. I say almost because one is fully through and the other is very nearly through.

*Teething*

Magdalena likes to crawl around and find all sorts of fuzzies, string, and other random small things that she shouldn't have, and tries to put them in her mouth before I can get them from her. (I know, I know, you're thinking 'sheesh, Emily, clean your floor!')



So, we're living life. We're loving on each other every chance we get. I adore Maggie's chubby cheeks and arms, especially since she started out just so so tiny!!

*don't you love those chunky arms?!*

I am definitely thankful that Maggie is here, and healthy, and we aren't going to endless doctor appointments full of stress and uncertainty. I'll take the waking up in the night over hellish doctor appointments any day. Though, I suppose you must have one to get the other....

And the best for last:

Can she get any cuter with that spiky hair?!

Special thanks to my mom who made Magdalena's dress and matching headband!! Love you, mom!!

Oh, and she has a 9 month check-up next week (I think), and I'll post her height & weight then!

Adoption: Sacrifice

Adoption has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I thought I'd share with you a "revelation" I had this week. . . Adoption is going to require sacrifice. Here is what I mean:

We have two different countries that we are looking at adopting from: 1. Ethiopia and 2. Honduras.

Let's start with Ethiopia. Originally, we thought this would be our only option because of our age (many countries require you to be 30 years old or older), and because we have three children. If we adopted from Ethiopia we would use Bethany Christian Services. When adopting internationally you are always required to go to the country to pick up your child. Ethiopia requires 2 trips, each 5-7 days long. So, part of the sacrifice would be leaving our three children behind for that time to go Ethiopia to bring home our fourth child. The other part of the sacrifice is that on the first trip to Ethiopia, you meet your child, then go to court to testify that you will indeed parent that child, and then you leave your child in Ethiopia until you return for the second trip to bring your child home. Can you see how a mother's heart would be torn in this situation?

How we found out about Honduras adoption was definitely a "God thing". We were having our house re-wired and our electrician "just happened" to be adopting from Honduras through a new program with Living Hope Adoption Agency. Again, for me the greatest part of the sacrifice is the trip to the country because it means leaving my three little Hess girls behind. The trip to Honduras is just one trip, but it is a minimum of two weeks up to four weeks. I think I could handle two weeks, but four weeks? That is so scary. How would we manage on so many levels (our children, our home, our bills, etc.) for that long away from home.

Sacrifice.

Dictionary.com describes it this way, "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim."

Once again, I am realizing that I want to do things when they are easy.

Of course, there is the sacrifice of money. Somehow I am not as concerned about this. Isn't it strange how one can have such faith and confidence in one area of ones life and be utterly fearful in another?

As I thought more of this I realized that I will have to depend on someone else to take care of our children, and that is a scary thought for me. I love being home with our girls and the thought of leaving them for 2-4 weeks is awful.

Of course, Trent's concerns are different from mine. "Oh, the girls will be fine" he reassures me. But what about work? How can I leave work for 2-4 weeks? The girls are my work, BCF Group is his work.

Psalm 37:3-4 "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

I would love it if you would pray for our family in the coming months. We have decided to pray about this and consider our options until Magdalena turns 1 in August. I'm sure I'll post more about our progress before then!!