Scattered Thoughts

We've been having some rough times with Anne. She won't go to sleep at night, and keeps Abbey awake since they share a room. She has learned that if she takes a book she can flip the light switch on since she can't reach it. The first time this happened we didn't realize it and the girls were awake until almost 11 pm. We've tried spanking, taking away toys, taping the light switch, all to no avail.

We're trying something a little different with Anne. Friends have given me lots of advise (mainly that she's probably not tired since she usually takes a 3 hour nap), and I'm trying my own compilation of what I think will work best for Annie. I created a box of quiet things for Annie to do during nap time. Right now, there are a few colored pencils, two blank papers and two coloring book pages, 3 easy-reader books, a doll and doll clothes, and some stuffed animals. Today was our first day instituting the nap time box. After I put the other girls down for nap, I read Anne a chapter in "Anne of Green Gables", then I allowed her to get our her box to play quietly on her own. She did this for about an hour and a half, and then after checking on her a few times, could see she was getting tired. I suggested she lie down to sleep, and I am planning on only allowing her to sleep for an hour and a half at the most. Yesterday I did not have her "nap box" put together, so it was unsuccessful. She got into stuff in my room that she should not, and was not quiet at all. I only let her sleep about 45 minutes and it was just not long enough. So we're trying this today, and we'll see how it works!

I have a feeling this will be successful because I'm trying to make it as positive as possible. A similar "trick" I am doing with the light switch. She may turn on any light she wants in the morning, but at night, lights are off. I think we all enjoy when things are looked at in a positive light, and Anne especially so.

We read the following passage today in "Anne of Green Gables" and I really believe it fits my Anne. (page 178)
"For Anne to take things calmly would have been to change her nature. All "spirit and fire and dew", as she was, the pleasures and pains of life came to her with trebled intensity. Marilla felt this and was vaguely troubled over it, realizing that the ups and downs of existence would probably bear hardly on this impulsive soul and not sufficiently understanding that the equally great capacity for delight might more than compensate." As I thought about it, it occurred to me that my Anne has a great depth of feeling. Prior to this I would have said she is a sensitive child. She cries so easily, yet on the opposite end, she laughs harder than most other children. She gets immense joy out of life, but feels sorrow very deeply. The child is passionate.


I have been so frustrated with Anne disobeying me (it feels like all day long) or making excuses for not doing something right away when I ask. Then it struck me, how often do I do this to her? Our children learn from our example. How often does she ask me to do something for her, but I say, "I'll do it when I'm finished washing these dishes," or I'll say, "Let me switch the laundry over first, then I'll read you that book." Today I was very intentional about what I said. I paid closer attention to what the children's needs were, and I think I was better at meeting those needs. Abbey asked me to read a book, and I started to say, "let me just..." but instead I said, "Sure, Abbey, I'll read you that book! I'll put those dishes in the dishwasher later."

It may not seem like a big deal to you, but guess what? My morning went better today than it has in a long time (except that we missed a doctor appointment that I forgot to write on the calendar). Today felt like a victory. It's not easy to always put yourself second, but this is my calling. Mothering is my calling, and it is my job to do as good of a job as I possibly can.

I was thinking last night about how I'd love to have some closer relationships with some of my girlfriends. But I think about how much my children need me right now. I know that they won't always, and in the future there will be time for deeper relationships. So for now, I am going deeper with the children and with Trent. I am thankful for life, for Trent, for the children. Even when the girls are up to their crazy bedtime stunts, I really do love every moment. Only the good Lord knows how long we have on this earth. So if I spend every day being thankful and truly acknowledging my blessings, I believe if/when some difficult days come, I will be able to stand firm in my faith.