Hess Homeschool: Part 1: 5 Reasons Why We Homeschool

As we prepare to enter our fifth year as a homeschooling family, I wanted to share publicly some of the reasons we homeschool. Over the years I have had several friends ask why we homeschool, what an average day looks like, and what curriculum we use.

This shall be part one of my homeschool series: 5 Reasons Why We Homeschool

The two years before our oldest daughter was ready for Kindergarten were years full of conversation regarding schooling. We continually vacillated between public school, private school, and home school. Like most people, Trent and I drew from our personal experiences to help aid in our decision making. I went to public school K-6, then Christian school 7-12, then public university. Trent was in Christian school K-12 and public university.

After looking into the cost of Christian schools and knowing we already had three children (at that time) close together and hoped for more, we quickly ruled out the feasibility of affording Christian school.

I'm a list-person so I wrote list after list of pros and cons of public school versus home school. I wracked my brain of all the negative things about public school, and all the positive things about it. I didn't have many friends that I knew of that had been home schooled and, to be frank, had a negative impression of what home school kids were like (you know, weird.). I also didn't have a single mom-friend (at that time) who home schooled her children, which was extremely intimidating.

In the end, Anne made the decision rather easy for us. She started reading a year before she was old enough to enter Kindergarten. By the following year she was reading at a 6th grade level. I couldn't see sending her to Kindergarten because I was sure she would be bored. Anne has been blessed (or cursed, depending on how you look at it) with a very similar personality to my own. Knowing how we react to boredom (getting into trouble) home school quickly won the debate. We decided to take it a year at a time, not knowing how it would go and what it would look like.

If I'm totally honest with myself, Anne's reading level was a cop-out. It was easier for me to explain that Anne is a gifted reader so we decided to home school than to tell people my deeper opinions on it. And many of these opinions and ideas were shaped by the experience gained from living the home school life.

What I have to say next is in no way a reflection on the decisions of other families. All of us moms are just trying to do the best we can, attempting to make the best choices for our children, and our families.  I do not believe that homeschooling is the best choice for all families, but it is the best choice for my family at this time.

Five Reasons Why We Homeschool (in no particular order)

1. Flexibility: I have found that we can have as fluid or as rigid a class schedule as I desire. We often start school in August while most kids are still on vacation, to take our family vacation during times when the beaches are empty and rentals are cheaper. My girls can enjoy playing in the snow all morning, then still get their lessons done in the afternoon. We can sleep in as late as we need or want to in the mornings. This past school year the girls took a very short Christmas holiday because we knew we were going to be heading to China and wanted the school year to be finished before we left. Our family trips often count as field trip school days. I am not a morning person so I am thankful not to have to rush around getting papers signed, lunches made, backpacks prepared, trying to remember when gym day is for several little people, etc. I believe our home is a very peaceful (albeit messy) place to be.

2. Close Relationships: Looking back to the few people I know who were home schooled for some portion of their schooling, this may have been one of the things I found "weird". I saw pre-teens who had very close relationships with their parents and siblings. If this is a side effect of homeschool, I definitely see this as a positive thing. My daughters feel very comfortable coming to Trent or me with their problems. While the girls don't get along every moment of every day, at the end of the day, they are still friends. I often remind the girls that, while it's great for them to have friends who aren't their sisters, those friendships often come and go. Sisters are forever. I wish that I would have had closer friendships with my own sisters growing up. Homeschooling often allows us to feel a bit of the simplicity and closeness you garner when reading the Little House books. While Trent doesn't play a fiddle (yet) he sure tells great bedtime stories and is a fantastic Mad Dog and Tickle Man. 

3. Inter-Age Comfort: I don't have a good title for this one. Basically my girls are comfortable with all ages. Schools are so "grade focused" that it unwittingly pits older/stronger kids against smaller/weaker ones. Whether or not a child is ever bullied in a school (I was not), there was always a bit of fear toward the upper grades. Right now the girls are 9, 8, almost 7, 3, and 2. They are just as happy to play with each other as they are visiting our neighbors daily who are 84, 68, 65, and 8. They can have meaningful conversations with people of all ages (or happily bounce a baby on their knee). I know when I was 9 years old there wasn't much chance of me wanting to have a conversation with a friend's parent. Yet our girls will happily interact with adults as easily as they do with children. (Also, this may make them seem weird.)

4. Love of Learning: I really wanted my girls to love learning and be life long learners. I see many parents complain and vent about the amount of testing their children have to go through. It saddens me to see very young children with such heavy burdens of stress due to their (elementary!) education. My girls are well-read in a wide range of subjects. I find that I am learning right along with them. Admittedly there are some subjects (cough, cough, Science) that are not personal favorites, but this in no way hinders their Science Education. This past school year (when Anne and Abbey were doing 3rd grade) they took on the majority of their own science education. It was so beautiful to watch them not only take on the responsibility, but to do so independently and with consistency. I'll have a whole post dedicated to my curriculum choice at a later date. *Their love of books may make them seem weird.*

5. Influence: While some may disagree or not like this one; I have found it to be one of the most important reasons why we home school. I want to be the major influence in my child's life; not their peers, not their teachers, not the things they hear on the bus, not the misinformation they gather in school. Me. I feel personally convicted to provide my children with a solid foundation of what we believe and why before sending them out on their own for 8-9 hours a day. Granted, this means my children get to see me fail. Every. Day. It means sometimes I lose my patience and raise my voice. But it also means I get to show them what repentance looks like. It means I get to show them, first hand, how to restore a relationship that was hurt by careless words. It means they get to help me to be a better mom, a better person. Together, we get to explore how Jesus lived. We get to see how He is still active in the world, and in our home. They have deep, first hand knowledge of what it means to love people who are different from us. They have the opportunity to build the character traits of godly women who may someday be godly wives and mothers and home makers and whatever else they choose. I want them to have faith in their roots, and not be swayed by every passing trend. This also means that I am the one who explains about their bodies, how babies are made, why we do or don't wear certain clothing, why we wear deodorant, that it's rude to burp and fart at the table (with sometimes little success). But again, I'm so glad that I'm the one giving them accurate information that aligns with our spiritual beliefs.

While there are certainly more reasons and more stories I could share, I think these five pretty well sum up what I love about homeschooling.

I welcome your questions! I had lots of questions before I got started so I am happy to share what I have learned to help others on their way or to sate a curious mind.

Paul Revere's Ride and the end of Second Grade and Kindergarten

May 20th we said goodbye to Second grade and Kindergarten, at least for a couple of years.

Anne and Abbey will both move up to third grade in the fall. It seems hard to believe that we have finished our third year of home schooling and look forward eagerly to the start of the fourth year.

Maggie will be doing what I lovingly call Pre-First. I know this grade doesn't actually exist in our country anymore, but if you are my age you will remember many children leaving Kindergarten and heading to pre-first instead of first grade. We have chosen to do this for Maggie for numerous reasons. I'd love to share my thought process with you all. First, Maggie turned five a week after school started last fall. She has a late summer birthday and was technically *by one day* premature (born at 36 weeks and 6 days). So she is young for her grade and quite small as well. Second, while we saw tremendous growth throughout the year, it was a hard battle. Maggie has learned to read, but she continues to sound out nearly every word, every time. She really really has to work hard to accomplish what comes easily to others. We want her to love learning and love school. I can guarantee she will not enjoy school if we push her to first grade next year. Third, I want to take this in between year to try some different techniques with Maggie - especially more music. I really believe that if we give her another year to grow and mature it will be extremely beneficial for her in the long run.

Here's a short video from the end of the school year of Maggie reciting "Trees" by Joyce Kilmer. Isn't she so adorable?

A few months ago I was introduced to the Eric Metaxas Show. I listen to his podcasts at night while I'm painting. On April 18 he gave the challenge to memorize Paul Revere's Ride by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Although I was familiar with the poem it was not one I had memorized myself. At that point we had five weeks left of school. I decided it would be just the thing to push the girls through the end of the year.

Here is Anne's recitation.

Abbey was also able to memorize the full poem. She was a little nervous while I was recording. When I wasn't recording she was doing a great job of adding inflection to the words, but she was more concerned about getting the words right to focus on her inflection. Also, Abbey just turned seven on April 18. The fact that she was able to memorize this (with a couple minor mistakes) was astounding to me.

We are giving three cheers for summer vacation!
Hip, hip, hooray!  
     Hip, hip, hooray!  
          Hip, hip, hooray!

To Help the Perfectionist

I like goals. I especially like when they are attainable and when I meet those goals.

However, raising children isn't exactly like other goals. For example, in business, I may have a goal to make, say, $1,000. And I can work hard and be creative to meet and exceed that goal. There may be factors that detract from that goal, but there are a lot of things that I can do to make it happen.

This school year started out really rough for one of our girls. So challenging, in fact, that I questioned my ability to even teach her. Yet as the days wore on I came to realize that the material is not too difficult for her as I suspected at first glance. The challenge for this child is that she is a perfectionist. She has unrealistic goals for herself. For example, every week I give the children a pre-test for their spelling words for the week. The idea behind this is to see what they already know and what they need to study. At the end of the week when the take their test they can see how they have improved and what they learned. If, however, during the pre-test they already know how to spell all the words I do not require them to take the test. This was a semi-frequent occurrence for this child last school year. This year there are more words and they are more challenging. So during a pre-test she has the unrealistic goal of getting all 16 words correct. And then she gets to a hard word (without even trying it because she *knows* she will get it wrong) and will throw her pencil across the room, or start yelling, or run out of the room. I wish I were exaggerating. You can see why I would wonder whether going to "real school" (as the kids like to call it) would be a better option for her.

The thing with a perfectionist child is this: they are much more prone to depression and other psychological problems with physical side affects (such as cutting, drug use, etc.) In their unattainable quest to perfection they can spiral out of control. Perhaps going to school would curb those physical outbursts, but more than likely they won't be building her spiritual needs or really addressing the area of perfectionism that needs help.

The idea with helping a perfectionist is to remind them that doing their best is what is most important. It's really hard not to coddle the perfectionist and prevent her from ever failing (and watching the irrational outbursts that come from a perceived fail). Also to help them set realistic goals for themselves. Yes, it's good to have hard goals, but for the perfectionist they need to realize that spelling one word incorrectly is not worth throwing a pencil across the room or running away. And I don't want this child to have these intense struggles for the rest of her life. If I can help her work through this as a young girl I'm hopeful that it will be easier for her as she grows up into a young woman.

As we wrap up our third week of school I am grateful for how much progress we have made already. We have hard days, and days where she is unnecessarily hard on herself. But we're making it. And (dare I say?) even enjoying it. But pray for us. It's Friday - spelling test day.

Back to School

One week down, 35 to go. But who's counting?

I can't think "Back to School" without thinking of Billy Madison. Sorry. It's just the way I was raised.

There's so much good in this video. Is it silly? Of course. But the truth is so many kids feel that same way as the head back to school. Even our home schooled kids had those fears and a little anxiety as they headed back to school or officially started school.

This year we have two second graders and a Kindergarten student. This is my first year needing to teach more than one level at a time. The first day back was last Monday, August 17. The teaching part went well, but the homework part was a nightmare for one of our kiddos. There was a lot of yelling (mostly on my part) and a lot of frustration (pretty evenly split between the student and me).

First day of School - started out so fun and sunny!!

A large part of the problem was that I had a recent huge influx of sign orders, and normally I paint in the afternoon for about 2 hours while the children have a quiet time. Quiet time has turned to homework time and this student wanted me to sit directly beside her as she did her work. I told her I had my own work to do and she needed to do her own work. What she heard was, "Painting signs is more important than you." I'm not proud of it, but it's very close to the real meaning of what my words said.

Day 2 - sitting within touching distance as Abbey does schoolwork.

That evening I took a step back and evaluated my priorities. Do I enjoy painting? Yes. . Do I love homeschooling? Yes. Do I love my daughters? Yes. And then I needed to think about what I can change to still do all of these things (if possible). Most important on that list are my daughters and homeschooling. I enjoy the other things as well, but if I have to sacrifice any of those things on the list, it will be the painting. In order to still do the things I like best some changes need to be made.

Day 5 - getting into the groove and loving these quieter moments of the day.

1. I need to go to bed earlier. I've set myself a time limit on how late I will work during school nights so that I am a better teacher and a better mom.

2. I need to be willing to give up that chunk of afternoon time for painting in order to help my daughter gain confidence in her ability to work independently. We have compromised on this. I allow the children one hour FIRST to watch a movie. During this time I will write e-mails, respond to messages, create designs or paint. Whatever doesn't get done in that hour has to wait.

3. I need to extend the lead time from order to completion. Previously I was telling customers 1-2 weeks, but my goal was to get all orders completed in one week. However, since I'm not exactly sure how many signs my new hours will allow me to complete I have increased my time from 3-4 weeks from order to completion. As I get into a better routine this may look like 2-3 weeks or it could increase from 4-5. It all just depends on the volume of orders.

Please don't feel guilty about ordering. I WANT you to order. I LOVE painting. I'm still just so grateful that you all are so trusting in my ability to create something beautiful. And I'm excited that many of you are willing to wait three to four weeks to receive something I have made.

I would love to hear how you all fit in all the things you love? What do you have to give up to make your schedules work?

A Day with Anne

Today I have a "Guest Blogger". This article was originally written for our church newsletter. The intent here is to give you a glimpse into our everyday, beautiful, messy life. From Anne's perspective. When written, back in September, Anne had just started first grade, and was 6 (almost 7) years old. **All photos are from the two weeks surrounding the date her article was written.**

A Day With Anne Hess

Friday, September 5, 2014

6:40 am – Wake up and come downstairs. Put on my rainboots and go outside with Daddy to feed our six chickens and check for eggs. Only one so far!

Our first egg - Aug, 2014

7:00 am – Read part of a horse book and play with the doll house with Maggie.

7:30 – Mommy wakes up and comes downstairs for coffee. I go upstairs to play with our little horses.

7:50- Breakfast. It's Abbey's day to choose – strawberry poptarts.

8:10 – Go upstairs, get dressed & brush teeth.

8:30 – Watch a movie. Abbey chooses Cinderella.

9:00 – School starts. (I am homeschooled and in first grade.) We do our morning routine – calendar, counting up and down to the date (5^th today), Pledge of Allegiance.

9:05 – Friday is Test day: Spelling test first, I got 8 out of 8!

9:15 – Math Test – I finish quickly so I take Caroline into the living room to play while Abbey finishes her test. I got 17 out of 17! This is the first math test I have ever had.

9:30 – Bible – we read 2 Timothy 3:14-18. I memorized Psalm 1:1-2 for the first two weeks of school. Abbey, Maggie, and I all take turns saying this out loud. Abbey and I work on our handwriting while we listen to Mommy read.

9:40 – History/Geography – locate India on the globe and map. Pray for Hindus. I like to pray for the children who are “untouchables”. We also read about mud huts and different types of houses.

10:00 – Recess outside while Mommy puts Carrie to nap. I play on our neighbor's swingset and chat with our neighbors.

Our neighbors let us play here whenever we want!

 10:15 – Language Arts – practice expression when reading aloud

10:30 – Science – Night Animals. I read our five pages out loud to my sisters. We then answer questions on a worksheet about what we read.

10:40 – Math: Today we are counting by 2s, doing tally marks, greater than/less than, tens and ones columns, and adding. I have two homework pages that I do quickly.

11:00 – RECESS!! Play outside, collect eggs (3!), play “loving family” with my sisters.

Acting out a story with toy animals.

 11:30 – I wake Caroline up and carry her downstairs for lunch (I have a sandwich, clementine, and sweet potato sticks).

{{Sidenote: This is a funny Anne quote during lunch. Anne, “I read in a book that having a pony is a dream for many, but a dream come true for few.” I said to her, “Are you going to be part of the many or the few?” Anne was quick to reply, “The few!” For those of you who don't know, Anne loves horses!}}

I just love being a big sister to this little sweetie!

12:00 – lunch is over. I like to wipe Carrie's face and then play peek-a-boo with her.

12:05 – Take a blanket into our woods for our read aloud time. (Homer Price today)

Our favorite spot to read.

12:40 – Come inside to play. It was too humid to enjoy playing outside. I read a chapter book called “The Worst/Best Christmas Pagaent Ever” to myself.

1:05- Mommy takes Caroline upstairs for nap. I keep reading.

1:25 – Rest time. Mommy reads to the three of us older girls for awhile.

1:50 – Mommy goes out of our room. I read my book quietly.

3:15 – Watch the rest of Cinderella.

4:00 – Rest time is over. I practice piano.

4:15 – Go outside and skip count by 2s. (Jumping every 2 numbers which are written in chalk.)

4:40 – Come inside. A storm is coming. I see my neighbor friend who just got home from school. My mom doesn't let me go outside because of the thunderstorm. I get angry and run to my room and slam the door and cry. I sit in my room awhile. To regain control I brush and braid my hair. But I am still angry. I argued with my mom and made a face at her so I had to be sent to my room.

5:15 – I spy some pretty clothes. I put them on and decide to act like a princess. I dress Abbey and Maggie up too. We all act like princesses. We help mommy crack the eggs for dinner.

5:40- DADDY IS HOME!!!

6:00 – Eat dinner – scrambled eggs, sausage and toast. We eat a lot of eggs these days.

6:40- Finish dinner. I quickly run outside to play with my neighbor. We play at his house all evening. We swing, dig in the dirt, and talk with the grown ups. 

Our neighbors love little Caroline.

7:50 – Time to go home. We get ready for bed.

8:15- Daddy reads to us from “Little Town on the Prairie.” I am very tired. After we all pray I fall right to sleep. 

****Hope you all enjoyed a little window into Anne's world.*****