Ruthie turns Three!

Our sassy Ruth has turned three.

 
When I think of all she has been through in her short life, it feels a little overwhelming. Yet as I look deeply into her timeline, I'm amazed at how God was working in her life. Ruth has people (literally) all over the world who love her. There have been many people who were part of her story for a short time but who made a tremendous impact on the trajectory her life took.

Today, I think of Ruth's birth family. Of the pain they must feel on this day as they think of the tiny, 4.5 pound baby they felt they could not raise. I think of the Ayis and orphanage staff with the responsibility of so many little ones; of the women there who give what love they can to the helpless babes in their care. I think of the orphanage director who saw tiny Ruthie failing to grow, and the choice she made to fly her 3 hours north to Beijing. I think of the community of ex-pats living in Beijing who have fostered many children, nurturing them, loving them, showing them what family looks like, before saying goodbye and sending them off to their forever families.

And most of all, I think of the Douglas family. I am thankful for their bravery to take in an 11 pound one year old who couldn't even roll over let alone sit up, stand or walk. The love they poured into Ruth for the year she lived with them changed her life forever. They nourished her body physically, but also emotionally. She went from a helpless one year old to a high spirited two year old who could not only roll over, but stand, walk, run and climb. We are honored to continue to call them our friends and maintain contact with them. Most of all, we look forward to their visit to the US this summer! What a joyful reunion it will be.

While we weren't there the day she was born, it didn't make the day any less special for all of us. To make up for lost time, Ruth celebrated her birthday multiple times throughout the week.

Sunday before her birthday my family stopped in after church for a quick pizza lunch, cupcakes and ice cream. My mom has traditionally purchased a Bitty Baby for all the granddaughters on their first birthday. Since Ruth wasn't home yet, she got her bitty baby this year. She's pleased as can be about this doll.

Wednesday night we celebrated with Trent's side of the family. Again, pizza and cake and ice cream. Ruth has really been enjoying the puzzle that Grandma gave her.

Flamingo outfit from Mema

Three!!

Taking care of baby

Cake at Grandpa and Grandma Hess's.

 Thursday, April 12 was her actual birthday, and we spent the morning at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. (More on that in a bit.) Trent took the day off work so we could both be at that appointment and Diane took care of the girls for me. CHOP gifted Ruth with a fisher price car with a mama and baby. She was pretty happy about this. When we got home from that appointment the doorbell rang and Trent had to sign for a package from China. Ruth's foster family sent her a card and a book.

height/weight check

 We at lunch at Miller's Twist at Reading Terminal Market with Phil Smoker, a friend of Trent's from elementary school! We hadn't seen him in quite awhile and it was good to catch up with him.

We didn't celebrate as a family Thursday night because Anne had softball practice so on Friday night we had more cake and ice cream. I think she's going to be very confused this week when it's Abbey's birthday.

sleepy ride home

For those interested in an update on Ruth's blood condition I'll try to explain what we learned. Ruth has a condition called Alpha Thalassemia, Hemoglobin H - Constant Spring Disease. She has only 1 (out of 4) working gene to make the alpha globin, which basically means she produces fewer red blood cells which makes her anemic. The Constant Spring portion of this disease is a more serious condition that leads to a more severe anemia which can lead to problems like a large spleen, gallstones, increased risk for infections, jaundice, and poor growth.

The good news from our appointment is that Ruth is doing really, really well right now. Her spleen was normal, her hemoglobin was 8.1 which was the highest we have seen it since we brought her home. Even operating on a low hemoglobin she has very normal energy levels for a three year old girl. She is to take a folic acid tablet daily, which isn't a big deal. We feel that we are in a good position as a homeschool family to help reduce her risk of contracting illnesses.

The only concerning news from the appointment is her small size. She isn't even on the growth chart. Ruth weighs 20.5 pounds and is 2 feet 7 inches tall. At this time, we are just to monitor her growth closely. As long as she continues on her own curve, we will be fine. If, however, she doesn't grow or drops off even more, we will need to give her blood transfusions to see if that helps.

There is nothing dietary that will fix her condition. And while normally when one is anemic the recommendation is to give an iron supplement, she actually has normal iron levels and we should avoid too much iron and iron fortified foods. We were also given a list of medications that she should not be given as they can cause her to become more anemic.

We were very happy with the care we received at CHOP. We will continue to follow up there, at this point every four months.

I have no doubt that Ruthie will do whatever she desires with her life. She is strong willed and full of personality. Currently her favorite thing (that we're trying to break her of) is to stick out her tongue at me when I tell her, "no". I made the mistake of laughing the first couple of times she did it, and now I'm paying for it. To avoid my scolding she has now started to act like she's trying to touch her tongue to her nose, not stick her tongue out at me.

She is a joy to have in our lives.

Happy 3rd birthday, Ruthie!!

Photo credit: my sistaaaa Stacy Parmarter Photography

April -Generosity

The month of April we stepped away from purchasing items for worthy non-profits and instead volunteered our time. 

I’m so glad a friend of mine (thanks, Jen!) told me about Feed My Starving Children  FMSC does food packaging of high nutrient food (Vitamins, Soy, Dried Vegetables, and Rice) at various sites throughout the US. The food that volunteers package is sent to many countries throughout the world and quite literally saves the lives of starving children. 

Abbey was very overcome by a photo of a Haitian girl who was starving; ribs sticking out, distended belly, sunken eyes. The next photo showed her after 8 months of daily nutrition from Feed My Starving Children. The girl is round faced, smiling, and (as Abbey said) adorable. In other words, healthy. 

The day was really enjoyable. It’s recommended kids 5 and up help. My mom came with the three oldest girls and me. I’m definitely glad my mom was there as it was helpful to have an adult with both Abbey and Maggie. 

This was while we were waiting for our instructions. 

Abbey sealed all the bags of food that our side of the table packaged. I held the bag still and she pressed and held the heat sealer. It got tiring after nearly 2 hours but she hung in there. 

Maggie and my mom worked together on the other half of the table. 

She also did a great job. Maggie is a hard worker and having my mom to encourage her was really special. 

Anne’s job was to weigh each bag after the ingredients were added to make sure they were between 380 and 400 grams. 

They were all tired and ready to sit down after their morning of work. This is definitely something I would like to do every year. It was so encouraging to see some friends there, as well as youth groups, and families. I’m going to try to engage my competitive nieces and nephews to join us next year to see how many boxes we can fill. Our group filled 20 boxes, each box contains 36 bags of food, so we did a total of 720 meals. 

At the end of our packing time the organizers shared that we packed enough food to feed 84 children for an entire year. It was a memorable experience for all of us. 

Feed My Starving Children

March - Generosity

In March the girls and I focused on an organization called Thrive and Grit. Megan was a friend of mine in high school. Below is part of her story and a little about the organization. 

From thriveandgrit.org  “Megan and Jacquelyn are sisters who were born and raised in Lancaster PA.  Megan was diagnosed with breast cancer just 5 days after her 30th birthday in December of 2016.  Only 9 months after giving birth to her beautiful baby boy, her diagnosis is considered pregnancy related. Jacquelyn and Megan both immediately felt a sense of community as so many around them reached out and shared their amazing stories and experiences. They were inspired to help other women by creating awareness, assisting with prevention, supporting those battling, and donating to research.”

Part of what they do is support community women who are battling breast cancer. They provide them with care packages full of comforting items. The girls and I worked together to purchase things off their list of desired items. 

Things like journals, leggings, blankets, and tea are just a few on their list. 

It’s just a small way for us to give to support women going through what will likely be the most challenging time in their life. It felt especially good to support Thrive and Grit because I’m raising little women. I’m sure everyone reading this can name multiple women they know who have had breast cancer and recognize the reality that it could be me or one of my girls going through it. 

2 Corinthians 9:6-7 ESV “The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

I’m so grateful for these girls who give joyfully. It is my hope that this year of generosity will stay with them for their entire lives. 

Ruthie’s 10th month

Ruthie continues to grow, to learn, and to thrive. She is a tenacious girl, full of life and spirit. This month is marked by snow. We had more snow in March than we had all winter, with the first two days of Spring being most significant. The girls all enjoy the snow but truthfully I’m over it (mainly the pile of snow clothes, boots, hats, gloves, and sleds littered by the back door which spreads into the living room).  

Ruth had a great month and continues to make progress in her speech therapy. They are baby steps, but steps nonetheless. For example, when attempting the /f/ we say to bite her lower lip and all the air comes out of her mouth. While she still isn’t making the sound or getting the air out of her mouth, she is finally able to bite her lower lip. Since she has an underbite this has been a huge challenge. See what I mean? Baby steps. 

She loves taking care of all the baby dolls. She’s a good little mommy. 

She’s becoming a whiz at pretending. 

Pattern blocks with Carrie are always fun. 

Ruthie had her first week in Sunday School three weeks ago. We were a little nervous but shouldn’t have been. Where Caroline goes, Ruth is quick to follow. I’m tremendously grateful for these two sisters. Carrie is very devoted to seeing Ruth succeed. 

Proud sisters! Someone mentioned how their mannerisms are similar and it’s true. What a gracious God we serve. While Ruthie may not “look” like her sisters, they do make similar faces and have body language that makes them look alike. 

We developed a pattern of snow, sleep, snow, sleep. She loves playing in the snow but it definitely wipes her out. 

She slept in the toddler bed a few times. We didn’t take the crib out of her room so she has since gone back to just the crib. But, I know when we decide to make the full transition it will be relatively simple. 

Always such a good sleeper!

Ruthie’s first smiley face. She is so proud of the faces she can draw. She had also started adding legs, ears, and arms occasionally. I’m so proud of how she is developing! What a clever little girl she is. 

These two think cleaning is fun. (Sometimes). 

Playing in the woods with sisters at dusk is always a good idea. 

Oh, and more snow. Thanks, mom, for giving us my childhood toboggan. 

Even mom goes sledding sometimes. 

Ruthie’s a brave sledder!

Catching snow. Her face mask is perfect for shielding her eyes while the snow falls into her mouth. 

Snowmobile riding with Daddy! Trent’s Dad often brings his snowmobiles down to our place once a winter if we get enough snow. I think this is the first year he’s come in Spring, though. 

Palm Sunday at church! See how brave she has gotten! 

Waving palm branches and singing, “Hosanna!”

Technically yesterday was 10 months home but as you can see, she was in no mood for a happy picture. 

Even coffee and farm puzzles didn’t help. 

And her nap was short-lived. I think she may be getting a new tooth as she has been chewing on her finger, had the grumps, and occasionally woken in the night. A little Motrin and a good night of sleep worked wonders. 

Happy 10 months home, my love. I don’t know what we would do without you!

Proud of her sticker. 

Oh Ruthie V.! We love you! Thanks for all the joy you bring. We are blessed to have you as our youngest Hess girl. 

February Generosity

During the month of February, the month of love, we focused our giving on something our family highly values. Life. The life of children in particular.

Jeremiah 1:5 "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart."

I hear many liberals argue that conservatives say they are pro-life, but don't back it up with money or actions. While liberals may not know many other liberals who are standing for up for the lives of children, I know too many people to count who do back their beliefs up with actions and money. So be encouraged, there are many, many people who are living out their faith!

Our family has been a foster family for children in our community, we have now adopted internationally, and we continue to stand up for the ones who have no voice. In honor of our greatest treasures we chose to give for the month of February to Susquehanna Valley Pregnancy Services.

"Susquehanna Valley Pregnancy Services is a gospel-sharing life-affirming ministry that serves women, men, and teens through sexual integrity education, unplanned pregnancy intervention, and post-abortion restoration. With five locations  in Columbia, Ephrata, Lancaster, Lebanon, and Millersville, SVPS is making a difference for life." from SVPS.org 

I personally appreciate how the ministry sees all sides of the coin and are supportive the entire way through, from sexual integrity, to unplanned pregnancy, and perhaps in some ways most importantly, the post-abortion restoration. The CDC reports approximately 700,000 abortions every year in the United States. While I am not judging anyone who has made this decision, I've read enough blogs and talked to enough people to know that often this choice haunts them. As Christians, we absolutely need to be covering these men and women with love and prayers and hope for their future. I'm so encouraged to see an organization like SVPS providing a much-needed service for men and women in our community.

 Throughout February the older girls and I have talked about why waiting until you are married to have sex is the best option. We have talked about abortion. We have discussed moms and dads who find themselves in a challenging situation; ones who feel abortion is their only choice, some who want to place their babies for adoption, and those who want to parent them. Our goal in involving the girls was for them to provide physical items. Even though these organizations surely deserve our dollars, our young children need to see what they are supporting and where the money is going.

On Chinese New Year I took our five daughters out to the mall (a rare treat as it's kind of an ordeal to take five girls anywhere). Each girl picked out two-three baby outfits for boys and girls. We also donated some blankets and other baby items. While I intended to deliver the items in February it just didn't happen. Today, March 12, we drove into Lancaster, braved the construction crews digging up the road, and walked up the street to the Lancaster office for SVPS. We get stares regardless of what we're doing since I've always got my little ducklings with me, but today was especially unique as I had Ruthie in the carrier, three big bags of baby items, Anne carrying Caroline, and Abbey and Maggie carrying bags half their size. 

We hope the items donated will be helpful to those who need them. We believe that every life is valuable and that all children deserve to be raised in a family.

Psalm 139:16 "Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Some Thoughts on International Women's Day

Many American women today have become vulgar and crass. Photographs from the recent women's march portrayed women carrying signs with horrible things written on them and women wearing hats made to look like private parts. Their shouted obscenities made me really wonder, what are they marching for? The whole thing was so vulgar I couldn't allow my daughters to see pictures. And if it's not safe for my daughters, is it really what's best for the women you're supposedly advocating for?

Feminism used to demand equal rights for men and women. It appears today that many American women are no longer content with this, they'd like to emasculate, crush, and utterly destroy men.

Part of my issue is that I'm comparing the "world" with Christians. It's not really a fair comparison. First Peter talks about the type of woman Christ-followers should strive to be. I have yet to master the gentle and quiet spirit, but I believe it's something admirable to work toward. It's easy to be vulgar. It's not so easy (at least for me) to consistently reign in thoughts, attitudes, tongue, and actions to be gentle and quiet.

1 Peter 3:3-6 (Berean Study Bible) "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair or gold jewelry or fine clothes, but from the inner disposition of your heart, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God's sight. For this is how the holy women of the past adorned themselves."

As far as it being International Women's Day, I would much rather see American women helping women around the world for things that are truly equal, human rights. Like the 1 in every 30 women in Nigeria who are still dying in childbirth. If all those American women marching would stand together to help women around the world, that's something I could get on board with. But women who are out to tear other people down? No. I'm sorry. I just can't get on that train.

This quote from the introduction of Eric Metaxas book 7 Women has stuck with me since I first read it a few years ago.

He writes, “What struck me as wrong about these suggestions [of women to write about : Ex: Sally Ride, first American woman in space] was that they presumed women should somehow be compared to men. But it seemed wrong to view great women in that way. The great men in Seven Men were not measured against women, so why should the women in Seven Women be measured against men? I wondered what was behind this way of seeing things, that women should be defined against men? Or that men and women should even be compared to each other?

“Two interrelated attitudes seemed at play. First, men and women are in some ways interchangeable, that what one does the other should do. Second, women are in some kind of competition with men, and for women to progress they need to compete with men. This thinking pretends to put men and women on equal footing, but it actually only pits them against each other in a kind of zero-sum competition in which they usually tear each other down.” 1. Source: Seven Women, Eric Metaxas, pp xiv

As a mother to five daughters, raising little women is continually on my mind. When I think of what would make me most proud of my daughters, I think it's safe for me to say that there is no career, no job, no particular role that I wish for them, other than to be women of God. Because if they choose to follow after God's heart, it doesn't matter what career, job, or role they have. I wouldn't be more proud of one daughter for being a doctor than a daughter who chose to be a stay at home mom. Regardless of your position, you can reach people with the love of Jesus.

So today, on International Women's Day, I would encourage you to pick up Eric Metaxas' book "7 Women and the Secret of their Greatness" to find out why Joan of Arc, Susanna Wesley, Hannah More, Saint Maria of Paris, Corrie ten Boom, Rosa Parks, and Mother Teresa are all women to admire. I'll give you a hint: all of those women stood up for what they believed was right, especially when it wasn't popular. 

And so must each of us. 

The Narrow Gate

"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." Matthew 7:13-14 (English Standard Version)

I've been thinking a lot recently about the narrow gate and what it means for modern Christians. I wish that every strong Christian family I know would be involved in some way with adoption, foster care, or orphan ministry. In fact, I recently found myself a little frustrated at what I perceive as other people's selfishness with their time and resources. Then I reminded myself that just because my narrow gate looks like giving up my time, energy and dollars to the care of children, that does not have to be every Christian's road. (Though I truly believe more people should be crossing the street and crossing oceans.) And I can only see a small portion of what others are doing. And perhaps most importantly, at the end of all this life, what others are doing is not as important as if I am following what God would have for me.

"Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." Philippians 2:12-13 ESV

Each of us need to work out our own salvation, with fear and trembling. My narrow road may not look like yours, and that's okay. 

Will I stop promoting adoption because of this revelation? Of course not! Someone on the fence may need just a little encouragement to do what God is asking them to do. And I still wish every family could have a Ruthie. Each one of my daughters has shaped me, they've brought my weaknesses out into the light where they have to be dealt with. 

We only need to look at nature to see that God is incredibly creative. Sometimes more impressive to me is how He works out so many details and intertwines people's lives to draw them together. I love China because of being led, literally, halfway around the world to my daughter. 

God writes the best stories.