Iced Coffee

Daddy with the mulberries, surrounded by his girls.

I only have a brief update regarding foster care. We had the UV light & filter installed and gave a water sample two days ago. We should know results on Monday. Once we email these results to our caseworker we will be officially approved. 

I don't think I have ever posted a recipe on here, but as I was enjoying my iced coffee this morning I thought I would share it here, just in case, you are like me: A non-morning person, a busy Mama, stay-up-too late kind of person.

Ingredients:
1 can sweetened condensed milk
12 cups hot, strong coffee
Ice cube tray
Whipped cream ** (Optional)

Directions:
Pour coffee into ice cube tray and put in freezer. Open can of sweetened, condensed milk and pour into a pitcher. Pour remaining hot coffee on top of milk. Stir. Put in refrigerator. Once cold, enjoy it!  For a special treat we sometimes put whipped cream on the top and drink it after the kids are asleep. =)

3 beautiful girls and a wheat field

Pure Joy

As I was praying today, the Spirit spoke to me through Scripture, as He usually does. The following verses popped into my head:

James 1:2-5 (NIV) "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

I don't know about you all, but when I go through trials I do not feel pure joy. Often when I look back upon trials I can often see the Spiritual growth that occurred.

As we go through this time of uncertainty, I am going to make a conscious effort to show pure joy, knowing that as I persevere I will mature. My prayer will continually be for wisdom.

If I'm honest with myself, I can really sing He's been "So Good to Me" .

*Just a side note: Scripture memory is so POWERFUL!*  So thankful for the Word of God!

Fear

One thing I have learned as I walk with the Lord and that He does all things well, and He has a purpose. Yesterday we were told that we will probably have to leave this house I love when our lease is completed in February. I went through a wide range of emotions in a very short time; anger, bitterness, resentment, annoyance, fear, and sadness. I had myself a good cry.

Yet through it I was seeking God. We were so sure that God wanted us here, in this house, for a reason. We thought that reason was so that we would have the space for more children, for foster care. Our homestudy was June 5, and we were approved, except that our well water was full of bacteria. The next step we needed to complete was to get that taken care of, and what we learned was that a UV light was the way to do it. We had Martin's Appliance & Water Conditioning come out Friday to give us an estimate. And we thought we would be on our way to more children within a couple of weeks. Then Saturday we received this news that throws a wrench into our plans.

As I was praying last night and was trying to find the purpose in all of this (what I consider to be a mess!) a new thought hit me. Soon after we moved here, to my old home, I began having bad dreams; nightmares, really. The dreams always revolved around the same theme; that I will be left alone. The dreams varied between Trent leaving me for another woman to Trent getting cancer and dying. Sometimes I would have these dreams multiple times a week. Sometimes I would tell Trent, and other times it felt too painful so I would keep them to myself.

A couple weeks ago I started to write a post on fear, and how I have this terrible fear that something bad is going to happen in my marriage (as in Trent leaving me or Trent dying). I couldn't find the words to put together what I wanted to say, but I'm going to try now. I want to try to be fair to the people who may find themselves in my story, but they are a piece of my story and have shaped who I have become.

As long as I can remember my parents had a rocky marriage. Small disagreements or arguments, a look of annoyance or disgust. I thought that was what marriage was. Some years were more difficult than others. I remember after one particularly heated argument when I was in about 7th grade I shouted at my parents, "Why don't you guys just get divorced!" (I was sent to my room in tears after this outburst of disrespectful behavior.) Everything came to a head when I started my second year of college. I got a phone call from my sister saying mom and dad were going to be separating. Although I saw it coming for years, I was crushed.

Anyone who is going through or has gone through a divorce where children are involved and says, "The kids are doing fine" lies. They may not know they are lying, but they are. For years I've always "seemed okay" and thought I was fine, yet here I am, more than seven years after my parents separated and I'm having nightmares about my husband leaving me. {Just a side note: Trent and I are extremely happy in our marriage!! These are just my fears that I have never dealt with!}

I firmly believe that these bad dreams have been an attack of Satan on me, and on our marriage. Satan would like nothing better than to ruin a wonderful marriage that glorifies God. Thankfully I have God on my side, and He is much stronger than the evil one. Trent has been praying for me and the dreams have stopped.

So how did I get to this point? Well, I believe that one of the reasons we came back to my childhood home is so that I could realize and deal with these fears, so that our marriage can be stronger. I still don't know what it means in regards to foster care, or where we will go when our lease is up, but I am putting my hope and trust in the Lord. We didn't expect to have this house, yet here we are. Sure, we'll be moving again, but God will have something else for us. In the meantime, I intend to take this time to strengthen my marriage, to grow closer to the Lord, to love on my children and show them the beauty of God's creation.

Would you pray for us? I don't think we can ever go wrong in asking for wisdom, and that is certainly what we need now. Thank you friends & family.

We have a Due Date (Sort of)

When you are pregnant with a child one of the first questions you hear is, "When are you due??" Our journey to foster care is so completely different than a pregnancy, but no less exciting and probably a little bit {ok, a LOT} scarier. (Especially since this would be my 4th pregnancy so by this time it's old hat.)

Well, I'm pleased to tell you that our Homestudy date is schedule for June 5th! From that point on I believe I could answer like most expectant mothers past 37 weeks... "any time now!".

Please pray for us as we continue in this process.

Comfortable

Life in the country is comfortable. It is very easy for me to feel happy where we are. In fact, I had that exact thought multiple times on Sunday. The first was in a conversation at church where it struck me that life is, for lack of a better word, easy. Then after the children napped on Sunday we walked across the street to the barns and strolled around. I re-lived a precious moment from when I was probably 6 or 7 years old and living in this place. I walked up the small hill of the bank barn, and skipped down with the breeze in my face and my arms outstretched like wings. Trent had a good laugh at the childishness of the moment and the girls thought it looked like fun. I was below the stone wall watching my dear children skip in the grass with a bright blue sky and cotton ball clouds above them and felt that "God's in His Heaven, all's right in the world." (Robert Browning)

As Trent and I talked and the children played, I told him that we could live here, with our three precious girls, and be very comfortable. But, is that what life is all about? Being comfortable?

Maybe life for some, but not for me, for my Christan walk. Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that I am not trying to be judgmental on how others live their Christian lives. I am just sharing my story.

Romans 6:22 (NIV) "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life."

I think this verse in many ways describes why I feel the way I do. As a follower of Christ, I have been set free from sin. In this instance, I would say my sin could be called being "comfortable" or (Revelation 3:16 ) "lukewarm". Since being free, I am now a slave or servant of God. As such, I MUST do as He says. Although I could choose not to do as He says, I would not reap holiness. To those who cannot (even as fellow Christians) understand why I have a desire to open my home to foster children, this is the best I can answer you: At the end of my life, I will be standing face to face with my Creator. I want Him to say to me, "Well done good and faithful servant" (Matt 25:23) I do not want Him to say, "You wicked, lazy servant!" (Matt 25:26)

We anticipate our homestudy to be sometime in June. At some point after that, life for us will change. We may not be as comfortable as we once were, but I have no doubt in my mind that our lives will be forever changed for the better.

Sunrise Hollow

I know it's old fashioned and if I didn't read so many L.M. Montgomery books the idea would probably never have come to me. But I do, so the idea came.

Our house was built in 1860. A house like ours should have a name.

Trent hasn't done the research yet to figure out who built our home, but whoever did knew what they were doing. The location (other than being close to the road, which at the time was dirt/gravel and rarely traveled except by slow moving horse & buggies so it didn't really matter) is perfect!! The house sits in a small valley and has lots of windows. Every morning the east side of our house is greeted with a beautiful sunrise and in the evening the west side glows with the sunset. Since our children have always been early risers., the sunrise was one of the first things I came to appreciate about the house. We certainly never saw any sunrises in the city. Too many buildings blocking the view.

Our "master bedroom" is in the back of the house above the kitchen. There are 5 windows in our room. Two of those windows face directly due East. When I wake up in the morning the girls or Trent will pull back the curtain so I can see the sunrise. It's lovely. I'm not much of a singer, but I often find the words to the hymn "the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning, Great is thy faithfulness Oh, Lord, Great is thy faithfulness" on my lips on these beautiful mornings. {And on the particularly pink mornings I hear "Morning has Broken" but in my head it is always Cat Stevens singing!} I find it so easy to be full of joy while living here, in the country, in this house, at this time.


If you haven't guessed it, I have decided that our house will be called "Sunrise Hollow" from here on out. It just makes sense for this house to have a name. I like to say things like, "Are you ready to head back to Sunrise Hollow?" or "This is our first Spring at Sunrise Hollow. Look at these lovely irises that the girls and I planted today, dear." It just has a nice ring to it. The photos really don't do justice to the hot pink morning skies that we are privy to nearly every morning. How can you not believe in God when you see something like this?

Abbey Frances turns 3!!

My little Abbey turned 3!! We had her to the doctor yesterday. She weighs a whopping 23 pounds and was 36 inches tall. That puts Abbey in the 1% for her weight and the 25th% for her height. Our doctor asked if I was always small like I am now. I pretty much always was, and Trent is also very thin, so he was not concerned. He said that he did want to make us aware that if we are interested she could go to Hershey to have growth hormone shots. He said he doesn't really recommend it but he makes his patients aware of the option because he has had some people get very upset that they didn't know this was an option. I love each of my children just the way they are, and at this point in time, Abbey is small and that is just a part of who she is, and we love her just the way she is and wouldn't change her!

Abbey has learned a lot in the past year. She is excellent at memorizing and has memorized quite a bit of Scripture. We are also working on writing her name. I made the mistake of teaching Anne to write her name using all capital letters since they are easier to write. Now I am finding myself trying to re-teach her to write her name using the appropriate letters. To make things simpler on myself I am teaching Abbey the correct way to write her name. She can write "A-b-b..." but struggles with the lowercase e, but can sometimes do the y.

She obviously loves Annie, and when asked who her best friend is she answers, "Annie!" without hesitation.  Recently Abbey and Magdalena have become great chums. Sometimes Maggie is the first awake from naps and when I ask her who she wants to wake up first she answers, "Abbey!" Just last night Abbey and Maggie were hugging each other so tight they would fall over onto the floor and roll around laughing. They would get up and do it again. If Abbey is crying, Maggie will go over to her and hug her and comfort her.

It is a lot of fun for me to see the children getting along so well. Of course, this isn't always the case, but in general our girls get along great.

We are thankful to have a good prescription for Abbey. At her last check-up she was seeing 20-20. Sometimes when we put her glasses on her in the morning she will say, "There! Now I can see better!"

Abbey continues to enjoy puzzles. She also enjoys books, and owls. Her most recent obsession is picking flowers.

For her daddy-daughter birthday day they went for a wild morning out. You know, crazy things like taking the car to get the oil changed. While they waited inside she got to drink root beer and have a huge gum ball. Then they went through the car wash. They stopped at Toys-R-Us and she chose to buy a little toy puppy with her birthday money from Nana & Great-Grampa. She is so thoughtful and also wanted to buy one for Annie and Maggie. She was excited because it cost $3, and she is 3!! Then they went to Long's Park and she wanted Daddy to push her on the swings for awhile. They ate lunch at our favorite place in the city, Splits & Giggles. She had "gwilled cheese" and "weawwy chocowate ice cweam cone."

Abbey lives up to her name and brings joy into our home. We are so thankful for this little sweetie!