I've always been pretty fond of my hair. When I was a teenager I had many many different hairstyles. I had it really short in the front and spiked in the back, I've had a bob, I've had bangs, I've had layers, I've done heaps of different things to my hair.
I was born with a full head of jet-black hair that stood straight up on end. As I got older it turned blonde. Some summers it was very, very blonde. In 9th grade I got the great idea to dye my hair "auburn". Yeah, totally did not look auburn - it was definitely red. But I was into it. I liked it. It sort of became an annual thing that I liked to do every New Year's Eve- try a new hair color. I went back to blonde my senior year of high school and kept dying it blonde or adding highlights every so often for the next couple of years.
After my sophomore year of college I was engaged and I thought I'd attempt to dye my hair back to what might be close to my roots. I ended up dying it dark brown, which was actually a titchy bit darker than my natural color, but I liked it. A woman at church (God love her) told me the first Sunday after she saw my dark hair, "I hardly recognized you with the dark hair. I like it blonde better!"
Since that time I have only highlighted my hair once, and when I saw how fast the roots grew out and how little time I had to spend on my hair once the babies started coming, I stopped dying it.
Where am I going with this post? Trust me, I'm getting somewhere.
Our culture is obsessed with beauty. Everywhere you turn you can find a million products to make yourself more beautiful. But you are never quite beautiful enough. I like to think that part of my hair-dying love ended because I was becoming more sure of who I am as a child of God. I had my Spiritual conversion my freshman year of college, and that is when my hair dying drastically slowed down.
As I raise three lovely girls I have to stop and think about what image I am showing them, as a mother figure, a wife, a woman, but most importantly, as a follower of Jesus Christ. Am I showing them that women can only be beautiful if they wear make-up, fancy clothes, have a perfect body and blonde hair?
In December, 2012 when my life was extreme stress and chaos Anne noticed a "white string" in my hair. Of course, this white string was attached to my head and was indeed one of many white hairs that I found that month.
So much within me wants to run to the store and buy a box of hair dye and quick remove any traces of gray. But I don't. I don't. Because if I truly want my daughters to believe that they are beautiful just as God created them, then I can't show them that Mommy doesn't think that she is! But you are! What will they believe? Will they believe my actions of dying my hair to make myself look different, or will they believe the words that I spout off? But what if my actions and my words match!? Is there beauty in that?
I'm going to be honest, I really don't want my hair to turn gray. I'm 28! But I am determined to allow my hair to slowly change. Because I don't want to look 18 all my life. I am usually a "live in the moment" type of girl, and I will accept and love who God intended for me to be, each step of the way.
p.s. Please, please, please don't think I'm judging you if you dye your hair. I'm NOT!! It's just a personal choice that I have made!
Thanks for sharing this... I'm in the midst of watching my hair go very gray. I too am fighting the urge to dye it for similar reasons. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteThis made me think of something I read this morning - one of Dallas Willard's definitions. "Aging is not a loss — it’s a gain! It’s God’s plan for increasing our spiritual substance." Sounds to me like you are growing spiritually! :)
ReplyDeleteLately I've been noticing the increasing amount of gray I've got. I didn't really start having many gray hairs until having babies and I'm noticing my hair has darkened and changed texture since then. I'm not one to dye my hair (I think I got highlights once in the last 15+ years, ), but I've found myself wondering if I'll feel differently if I look older than my age if the gray rapidly increases. One of my main reasons for not dying it is because I've always liked my hair color and it's natural state, and so I think, "well, I've gone this long with out dying it, I'm proud to have my 'natural' color, and so why start changing it now?" Your motives might be a little more pure than mine. :)
ReplyDeleteWell, I wouldn't say my motives are necessarily more pure. I also know I wouldn't keep up with continually dying it, so it's also sort of a laziness on my part. :) I might feel differently once it REALLY starts getting gray.
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