36 Weeks!!

*36 weeks pregnant.
Annie making a sad face because she wanted her pic taken!*

Yesterday was another MFM appointment. The baby looks great! We had an estimated weight of 4 lbs. 12 oz. which is a gain of 19 ounces in 2 weeks! Praise the Lord!!! This brings our little Hess baby up to the 4th percentile (2 weeks ago it was in the 1st). Unfortunately, we didn't get to see our "nice" doctor because he is doing a long bike ride with his son and was riding with him yesterday afternoon. Our "mean" doctor was on his best behavior. He must have been scolded after I "told on him". This doctor said the gain looked good. When Trent and I mentioned that it was 19 ounces of growth, he was suddenly skeptical. He did some re-measuring of the baby's stomach and was coming up with 4 lbs. 6-8 oz. Regardless, of which measurement is more accurate, the baby had gained about a pound in two weeks, which is what they expect "normal" growing babies to do. I definitely felt that my prayers were being heard and answered, and was very thankful to hear about the babies good growth.

They are still recommending induction/Cesarean at 37 weeks. I have an appointment next Wednesday (37 weeks to the day) with May-Grant who will do the scheduling. We are anticipating either late next week or early the following to have the baby. The baby still has the umbilical cord around his/her neck, which is why I think the baby has not gotten to the head-down position yet. During my ultrasound yesterday this little one went from footlong, to bottom down, to completely sideways.

I am still praying and hopeful that the baby will be able to get to the head-down position before next week. However, I do feel much more at peace about the possibility of a c-section. As I thought through my fears last night I was thinking that my reasons for not wanting to have a c-section were very selfish. I am anxious about the recovery, about the procedure itself, about what this can mean for future child-bearing, and also about the anesthesia. A friend of mine had sent me an encouraging devotion about our fears. After I read through it again last night it really hit me how selfish I was being. I know with my head that God will take care of me through all of my fears, but I was having trouble truly trusting and resting in this belief. I know that he is able to turn the baby if that is in His plans. It reminded me of the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They knew God could save them from the fiery furnace, but even if he didn't they still believed that He was God. The devotion said something along the lines of this: that most of our worst fears will not come true, but sometimes bad things do and will happen, but through them all God will take care of us. I'm so thankful that we serve a wonderful, forgiving God. So although it is still my prayer that the baby will turn head-down, I am now at peace that whatever may happen, God will see me through this delivery and we will all (Trent, Annie, Abbey, Baby, and I) will be okay!

Thanks again for all the love, support, and prayers. God is listening. God is good. ALL the time!!

35 Weeks

Abbey at the beach.

Annie and Daddy!

Today marks 35 weeks. I plan on taking one last belly shot next week and will post that along with our weekly update.... Yesterday I had an appointment to check-up on this little one.

Good: The baby still looks healthy and strong; the doppler showed good blood flow and the baby was moving around. I also got to see a different doctor at MFM who was much more encouraging than the first. He refers to the baby as a "Mighty Mini" (Strong but Tiny).

Not-so-Good: Baby Hess is still breech (his/her feet are actually up at his/her head!); the umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby's neck so chances of the baby turning are pretty slim; the amniotic fluid is at the low-normal range.

The doctor I saw very thoroughly explained some statistics and some individual cases that he has worked with dealing with Intra-Uterine Growth Restricted (IUGR) babies. He said he really pushes for delivery at 37 weeks because the placenta in all pregnancies begins to deteriorate after 37 weeks. Normally this isn't too big of an issue. However, with IUGR babies who aren't getting the nourishment that they need it becomes very dangerous. The rate of still births for IUGR babies who go past 37 weeks is incredibly high (I forget the numbers) versus babies who are growing normally.

What this means for us: We have an appointment this Saturday to check the fluid level and just to make sure baby is still looking good. Tuesday we have an appointment where we will check for growth, along with the other weekly check-up items, and confirm baby's position. I believe at that point we will schedule a date for either a c-section (if the baby doesn't turn) or induction (if the baby does turn).

I am still praying that the cord will come off the baby's neck and that it will be able to turn before 37 weeks. I'm also praying for a peace about our situation as well as being willing to let go of my plans, and to do what is best for baby. Thanks so much for all your thoughts and prayers! I've been so thankful for the encouraging emails that have been sent my way!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

*Miniature sunflowers in our flowerbed*

Yesterday was another appointment at Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM). I was 34 weeks and they were checking for growth along with the other regular things they check.

So, we'll start with the good. The baby has gained 12 ounces in the past 2 weeks. (All that peanut butter must be helping!) The doctor said this was "adequate". The baby is still looking healthy and strong; the umbilical cord, placenta and doppler (brain measurement) all looked fantastic.

The bad: The baby is still breech (feet first). Also the doctor still wants to induce at 37 weeks.

The ugly: When Trent questioned whether induction was really necessary as long as the baby is growing, the doctor said that it is what they recommend. When Trent asked what the risks are of continuing to let the baby grow in-utero the doctor said, "Death". Trent said, "So, the baby is just going to spontaneously die after 37 weeks?" And the doctor said, "You can refuse to be induced, but if the baby dies after 37 weeks it will be your fault. You'll have to live with that for the rest of your life, knowing that if you would have induced your baby would be alive, but just because you don't want a more painful labor you'll risk your baby's life." (So is he responsible if the baby dies prior to 37 weeks???)

Needless to say I was a sobbing, blubbering mess by this time. I was extremely dissatisfied with the way the doctor approached our questions (maybe he has never been questioned before?). Looking back I can see what he means; that induction is their recommendation and if we choose not to follow that recommendation, that whatever happens (good or bad) it was our choice. He could have worded his thoughts differently. Our question that he didn't ever answer was that AS LONG AS the baby continues to grow, what would be the purpose of inducing early? Obviously if there was something wrong, the baby wasn't growing, the placenta was dying, or becoming unattached to the uterine wall, etc. then yes, of course we would induce/c-section to insure the baby's safety. If he could give me a good reason for inducing early we would consider it.

Today I had a May-Grant appointment and saw a doctor I had not seen before. When I voiced my concerns to him, he agreed that the doctor from MFM was extremely rude and should not have talked to me in the way he did. He also said that I can ask for the other doctor that works for MFM. In addition, he said that they should look at each individual on a case-by-case basis. Since I go to MFM weekly and am closely following the baby's movements at home, we should be able to catch any problems very quickly. He was very encouraging to stick it out and allow the baby to grow in-utero for as long as it is safe.

At this point we are going to continue with our weekly appointments at MFM, and May-Grant. We plan on only inducing if it is necessary for the health of our child, which it does not seem to be at this point. We would definitely appreciate prayers for wisdom, and also for strength. The appointments with MFM are very stressful and emotional for me, and Trent will not be able to accompany me for the next 2 appointments so I will have to be the one asking the questions and standing up for myself and our child. Thank you again for all your thoughts, prayers, and encouraging stories; they are much appreciated!!

Baby Hessian Update

Our crazy Annie-Banannie!

Sweet Abbey Frances with her big eyes! I've recently taken to
calling her "Francie" which seems to suit her quite well.

Hi friends & family. Just thought I'd update on our little baby Hess. Last Tuesday baby was measured for growth and it was estimated that the baby weighed 2 lbs. 13 oz, which was a 4 oz. growth from 2 weeks previous. That put baby Hessian below the 2nd percentile. The doctor said he would have liked to see a 6 or 8 oz. gain. The baby was moving great and looked healthy otherwise. He/she even had a 10 minute bout with the hiccups during the ultrasound, which was pretty cute to see.

Today I had another U/S and NST. They did not measure growth today, but looked at the brain, movement, heart, lungs, and measured fluid. The sonographer pointed out that the baby's lungs contracting, showing how it is practicing breathing. It was amazing to be able to see this. The NST went well, and thankfully the baby stayed awake (last week it fell asleep) so they were able to see what they needed to and all is well.

The baby is still in breech position. At this point one of my biggest fears is that the baby will not turn. The doctor I had today said that at this point in pregnancy (33 weeks) about 30% of babies are breech. In the next 2-3 weeks that goes down to about just 3% of babies in breech position. I'm really praying for the baby to turn to the head-down position before next Wednesday when I have my next appointment. It will be very reassuring for me and a big weight off my shoulders.

Today Annie stayed with Mema (my mom) after my appointment. Annie was beyond excited to go to Aunt Pat's pool and try out her new goggles that Mema gave her! Abbey is teething and having a rough morning. She's sleeping now, for which I am thankful. Hopefully she can get a good nap in and feel better!

It is extremely difficult having weekly ultrasounds and not finding out the gender of this little one!! Some days I think the baby is a girl, and Trent and I joke that we'll probably end up with 7 little girls. Other days I think the baby must be a boy if it is this stubborn. Plus, we haven't decided on a boy name, so we'll probably end up having a boy and be in the hospital with no name!

I'm so thankful for such a wonderful and supportive husband. He is taking good care of me. Some evenings when I am very tired he will take the girls out for an hour or so just so I can get a little extra rest in. Plus, I think he really does enjoy his little outings with just him and the girls. He has also started forcing me to eat spoonfuls of peanut butter everyday for the extra protein!!

I will continue to keep you all posted in the coming weeks as to what our Baby Hess is doing!

Not much news...

**Our steadily-growing family at the PA Grand Canyon**
(29 weeks pregnant in this photo)

Today I had a follow-up ultrasound at 31 weeks. There isn't much to report other than the baby is still looking strong and healthy. The baby is now in breech position but it's not really a big deal until 35-36 weeks. The only "major" thing to report is that the doctor said that they are treating the baby as "growth restricted" and not as a miscalculated/wrong due date. He didn't or couldn't give me a reason as to why they think the baby is growth restricted which is a little frustrating. I just wish there were something in my control to make the baby get bigger. I asked if they see the baby following it's own growth pattern (the 3rd-4th%) over the next couple of weeks if we can reduce the appointments to every other week instead of weekly. The doctor said that unless the baby jumps up and stays in the 10th percentile or higher, then that is not an option.

So for now we just continue our semi-normal routine. I've been extremely grateful to my mother for watching the girls every Tuesday while I go to appointments, and to Trent's mother for coming to our home last Friday to take care of the girls while I was at an appointment. We are planning on taking the girls for a day-trip to the beach on Friday. It'll be their first time at the beach, and Anne has been talking about it all summer. She is beyond excited so hopefully we'll have a nice day, good traveling, and a cute picture to share with you all! Thanks again for your continued thoughts and prayers.

Perspective

***Our 2 cutie girls at the family cabin***

It's amazing how my husband has this fantastic ability to help me put things into perspective. We had absolutely no time during/after the appointment today to discuss our thoughts and feelings. I only knew what I was feeling, and as a pregnant, emotional woman, those feelings may not always be "accurate".
Trent's thoughts are that we go to the first 2 or 3 of these weekly NST/ultrasound appointments, and if the baby continues to grow on it's own schedule, we assume there is a wrong due date. If we cannot get May-Grant or Maternal-Fetal medicine to agree to change our due date, we tell them we are sorry but we disagree and do not wish to continue all the tests or to be induced at what could be 5 weeks early.
Of course, as the mother carrying this child that is hard for me to swallow because of the big WHAT IF??? However, we do both agree that more than likely, since the baby is completely healthy and normal from what they can see, the doctors are trying to cover themselves from a legal standpoint. Plus, they have absolutely nothing to lose by scheduling extra appointments, since ultrasounds are not cheap, and their time is very valuable.
From what I was hearing from the doctor was that we have no option but to induce at 37 weeks or before. Trent says that of course we have that option, as it is our child. I have a problem with feeling very guilty not doing all of these things, because I don't want the doctors/midwives/etc. to think that I don't care for or love my child, when I certainly do!! We will keep all of you posted in the coming week(s). Thanks again for the thoughts and prayers!

only 7 weeks?

After a very long and in-dept level II ultrasound this morning, it looks like our baby is quite little. They are estimating between the 2nd-3rd percentile. The good news is that the baby is head down, the cervix is still closed, and the baby appears to be healthy and strong. The bad news is that I will now require weekly Non-Stress Tests and Ultrasounds at Maternal-Fetal medicine, along with my either bi-weekly or weekly May-Grant appointments.
So what does this mean and why are we doing it?
Although the baby appears to be healthy, they want to continue to monitor closely the baby's heart rate and movements (via the weekly NSTs), and the growth (via the ultrasounds). My big question was why do this if the baby is healthy? Is there really something wrong with having a small baby? What I heard from the doctor was that although there doesn't appear to be anything that is restricting the growth, if there was, they would catch it much quicker doing it this way than waiting 3-4 weeks before doing another u/s. I also was hearing that there isn't necessarily anything wrong with having a small baby. There is a possibility of a wrong due date since I was breastfeeding when I got pregnant with our sweet Baby #3. However, they can't change the due date now, since apparently that needs to be done early in pregnancy via U/S.
So what happens?
We pray for growth, we go to our weekly appointments, and we wait. The longest they will allow me to go is 37 weeks considering the baby continues to grow and stays in the same 2nd, 3rd, or higher percentile. If they see the baby going down to the 0 or 1st percentile it could potentially require hospital stays and/or daily/every-other day ultrasounds. Obviously we do not want that to happen. One of our big concerns was what if the due date IS wrong, and they induce at 5 weeks early rather than the "full term" 37 weeks? The doctor said they would probably do amniocentesis at 37 weeks (if we make it that far), and determine whether the baby's lungs are mature or not. If not they would give a steroid shot to help the lungs along, but he made it seem that regardless this baby will be born by 37 weeks.
Tomorrow I will be 30 weeks, which puts us at 7 weeks or less until the baby is born. I was counting on 10 or more weeks (considering the girls were both late, I fully anticipated that this baby would be as well). The doctor also said that at the current rate of growth we can expect to have a baby anywhere between 5- 6 pounds.
So how do we feel??
When I left the appointment I was nearly in tears. This is not what I had anticipated or wanted. I wanted to go into labor on my own, deliver with out an epidural, etc. However, after driving through McDonald's and treating myself to a Mocha Frappe, and sitting down by myself at home (my mom still had the girls for me), I was able to allow myself to really think through the situation, and most importantly: PRAY!! And I really did feel a sense of peace. I know that God has this baby in His hands, and that regardless of what happens, God is still good. Some women do go in to labor naturally at 37 weeks (and before), and have perfectly healthy babies. After my experience of being induced with Anne I decided I never wanted to do that again. (ouch!) However, I do want what is best for this baby, and if the doctors feel that it is best to induce labor at 37 weeks, then that is what we will do. Most importantly, throughout these next few weeks we will continue to put our trust in the Lord, and pray fervently for this little one to grow and stay put until 37 weeks. I also will be praying to go into labor naturally at 37 weeks, and really try to remember that God is in control over the entire situation.
We are extremely thankful to the family and friends who have offered to watch our girls for us while we are at appointments or just to give me a break. I would say the best way you can help at this point is to pray for growth, pray for a strong baby, and to pray that I will go into labor on my own by 37 weeks to avoid induction. Thanks again, family and friends! We love you!