How do you Love?

Our very rainy Spring...

I promise I haven't forgotten about blogging, but (can you believe it??) sometimes life with three little ones leaves very little time to sit down!

There have been several thoughts floating around my mind which I would love to sit down and work through and think about more.

I had one of those "woe is me" days a couple of weeks ago. I found myself thinking, "man, I'm so tired of being a Pollyanna. . . Always looking on the bright side is exhausting." And just as quickly as I thought that, a verse came to me. (Courtesy of the Holy Spirit, I'm sure.)

Galatians 6:9 (NIV) "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

2 Thessalonians 3:13 (NIV) "And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right."

As I was finishing up a week of study from Beth Moore's "Living Beyond Yourself" it *just so happened* to be on love and *just so happened* to coincide with Easter. One thing that I love about B.Moore's Bible studies is that she uses a ton of Scripture. I'd like to share some with you. Keep in mind that these verses, when using the word "love" is referring to "agape love".

From page 67 of the study guide: Agape is
~a divine capacity to love. Only God is capable of agape.
~more a response than a feeling.
~fueled by the needs rather than the desires of self or others.
~expressed through me when I surrender to the empowerment and temperament of the Holy Spirit.

1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

Psalm 145:8 "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love."

John 13:34-35 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another"

Remember, this is not love of the romantic nature or love of the friendly nature, but love that humans are not capable of unless the Spirit is empowering us to love.

Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were STILL SINNERS, Christ died for us." (emphasis mine)

1 John 3:16 "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."

John 17:4 "I brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do."

There are several more verses that struck a chord with me that I would share, but I can't at this time.

I wanted to end with the Scripture from John 17. Look at it again.

This passage is Jesus praying/talking with God.

It made me think about my own life. How am I bringing glory to God? What work has He given me to do? Am I completing it? How am I demonstrating love for my brothers?

It's something I'm still working through. I'd like to leave you all with a challenge to think about your own lives, ask yourselves the same questions. I would love to hear how you demonstrate love for your "brothers". One example could be preparing a meal for a person who just had a baby or is ill. I have had the pleasure of doing this several times in the past 5 years, and am looking forward to bringing a meal to a family with a new baby this week! =)

And just for fun... a couple pictures.

Abbey in boots.

My mom "Mema" and Magdalena at my sister's bridal shower.

Life Through Annie's Eyes

Two precious girls all ready for Sunday School.

In honor of Mother's Day next month, all of the young mothers at church are being asked to finish this sentence:

The most challenging part of being a mother is. . .

To me that seems like book material, not sentence material. But here is my best go at it. The most challenging part of being a mother is finding the balance between love and discipline.

**These two will never need disciplined, right??**

I find that I am often very strict with my daughters. I have high expectations for them. Sometimes I need to remember that they are only 3 and 2 years old. (Maggie doesn't really need disciplined yet!)

As I considered this thought more and more, I realized that is why grandparents enjoy their grandchildren so much. They can allow themselves to be swallowed up by the joy that young children bring and aren't burdened with the responsibility of training them up and disciplining them.

Have you heard this quote before? "If I knew grandchildren were so much fun, I'd have had them first!"

It's amusing and cute and witty at first glance. But why should parents miss out on all that fun?

I am trying very diligently to find that balance. To truly enjoy the special, simple, fun moments with my daughters. I don't want to wait until I'm a grandparent to experience that life and fun that young children bring so naturally.

**Enjoying a warmer day with a picnic on the deck**

So just for fun, I'm going to share some photos that our Annie has taken. She loves to use the camera, and actually takes some great pictures. Sure, some are blurry, and some have heads cut off, but she is a joy to watch. She will run in place and jump and do all sorts of crazy things to get her subjects to smile! I love watching how she processes life. It was fun for me to look through the pictures she has taken over the past couple of months to see what she sees.

So with out further ado, here is "Life Through Annie's Eyes".

*I love this one!*

*artsy elmo*

*dork*

*gross! she shot this at just the 'right' time.*

*pretty good, right?*

*best dad in the world*

I guess she wanted to see what it looked like up there?

*Maggie looks shocked!*

I told you, she's good!

Can you tell who Annie's favorite "subject" is? Clearly Abbey is not nearly as cooperative as Baby. Hope you enjoyed!!

Humbled through Children

Have I mentioned on here before how God uses my children to teach me?

Regardless of whether the children know it or not, they are God's messengers to me.

For the past almost 3 weeks Magdalena has been crying. A lot. A lot as in sometimes 3 hours at a time. Now, those of you who had babies who cried may or may not be sympathizing with me. Because Magdalena hasn't always been a crier. She was doing quite well sleeping through the night, going to bed at a reasonable hour, and all that jazz. I thought I had it all together. Until she started crying.

Would you believe it took almost 2 weeks of her crying before I told anyone (other than Trent, of course)? Why wouldn't I tell anyone?

P-R-I-D-E! I didn't want anyone to know that I was losing sleep at night and couldn't get my own 7-month-old child to stop crying for long stretches of time. I truly was feeling like I was not a good mother, that I was doing something wrong, that I (dare I even say it) needed help!!

Pride.

PSALM 10:4 NKJ "The wicked in his proud countenance does not seek God; God is in none of his thoughts."

I got behind in my daily Bible readings, and the crying got worse. Perhaps not worse, but at least less-easy to handle.

PROVERBS 11:2 NKJ "When pride comes, then comes shame; but with the humble is wisdom."

So I "gave in" and told a few girlfriends, and asked for prayer. I took Maggie to the doctor to make sure she wasn't ill. I asked for more prayer. I prayed and prayed. I napped when the kids were napping. I slacked on my devotions and Bible reading and would sleep instead.

I prayed often for strength. As I was praying a couple evenings ago I was reminded of how Jonathan encouraged David and helped him to find his strength in the Lord. This started me thinking.... If I am not in the Word of God on a daily basis, how can I find my strength in Him?

So back to my Bible I went. I'm getting caught up on the days I missed. I am back in my Bible study. I am so encouraged by the Scriptures. If you ever want to read an awesome "sermon" about our flesh versus the Spirit, just read Galatians chapters 5 and 6 out loud to yourself with passion in your voice.

And Maggie slept through the night last night for the first time in weeks. Thanks to all of you who have been praying. And thanks to my little girl, who through not sleeping for a few weeks taught her Mama that she is not perfect, far from super-mom, and needs Christ more than she needs sleep or a cup of coffee.

Now I just pray that the sleeping continues and I'll be thankful that I'm not walking through the desert with a crying baby like the Israelites, or worrying about high fevers and no doctors like mothers had to do 100 years ago (and still do in many third world countries). It's all about perspective, isn't it?

Whatever the Cost

Last week I was struggling with selfishness.

As many of you know, adoption is near and dear to my heart. It has been for many many years. I've always wanted to adopt, and Trent and I have had many serious discussions about adoption. We have decided to go to an information meeting on May 2nd to see if now is the time for us.

Then I started feeling selfish. Adoption is really expensive. It takes a long time, and it sounds really hard. And I really would like a bigger house with a bigger yard. And it sure would be nice to move out of the city. And, gee, I worry about the kids going to city school. And our house is already feeling tight, do we have room for one more?

The more I thought about myself, the less appealing adoption was sounding. It wasn't until I said those things out loud that I realized how selfish I sounded.

Please, don't misunderstand what I am saying. I know adoption is not for everyone. I have no problem with people living in big houses, with lots of land, and nice cars. But, if we were to choose not to pursue an adoption because of those reasons, I would be failing to follow God's call in my life.

Galations 1:10 "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

We are in a very comfortable position financially, mainly due to our low mortgage and Trent's promotion about 6 months ago. If we were to move to a bigger, more expensive house, we would have less money to pursue an adoption.

I truly believe that if we follow God's leading in this calling, that He will bless us. That doesn't mean that we will necessarily be "blessed" with our dream home, but we will be blessed.

Isaiah 48:17-18 "This is what the LORD says - your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea."

God is still working on me. He is teaching me. He is directing me. I want to learn, and I want to follow. Israel did not pay attention to the Lord's commands. I desire to follow God, I want to obey Him. I'm sure it doesn't make sense to a lot of people to hear of our desire to adopt.

What about the "American Dream"? To be quite honest, I am often quite distracted by it. The "things" of this world turn my head from what God wills for me.

I found that I was allowing myself to be pulled into being self-centered by justifying it. I thought, well, I really just want to move because I'm fearful of putting the kids in city school. (2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.)

Growing up we had a really big yard, and I have such fond memories of playing on our swing set, playing volleyball and badminton, soccer and baseball. However, Trent is helping me to realize that our children will have a different set of fond memories, and that is okay!!

I don't think that I am "cured" of my selfishness, of my fears, or of my failures. I'm so thankful that God forgives.

1 Peter 3:18 "For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit."

If Jesus was willing to die for my sins, shouldn't I be willing to follow Him, whatever the cost?

Maggie is 6-months

I am often amazed when each of my children reach a new age-milestone. It is always the same story, I can't believe she's 6 months, or a year, or two, or three.... This time it is Magdalena's turn. I can't believe she is 6 months old!



Today she had her 6-month well child check-up. She weighs 12 pounds, 4 ounces, which is less than the 5th percentile and she is 24.5 inches long, which is about the 5th percentile. She has dropped in percentile in her weight, but that could be because she has not been feeling well the past couple of weeks. She still has a runny nose and a cough so she did not get any shots. We will have to go back next week for those. It's hard to believe she weighs so little when you look at those adorable chubby cheeks and arms!



Our doctor is so very good with the children. He has four children of his own so I trust his opinion from a medical and personal level. The girls absolutely love him. When Anne was about two she told me, "Dr. Frey is gentle and kind." He makes the kids laugh and feel very comfortable with him. I'm so thankful for that. They love to tell daddy what funny things he says. When he has to look in their ears he asks if the Cookie Monster left any crumbs in there. This makes them giggle and allow him to look in their ears. I am thankful for the good medical care and advice we have easy access to receive.



New Year's Updates: I completed one Beth Moore study and have not missed a single day of my chronological Bible readings. I admit some days are difficult (reading about the tabernacle has never peaked my interest), but I am doing it!

Anne has helped me to memorize Psalm 121. The last 2 verses are still a bit shaky. I think Anne knows them better than I do! We plan to memorize the "fruits of the Spirit" passage next.

Abbey starts Sunday School next week. She never cries when I leave her at SMILE, and she is really doing well.

Maggie can roll both ways, and it attempting to sit up. She sleeps all night (Praise the Lord!), and takes 2 naps during the day. Her morning nap is about an hour, and her afternoon nap is about 2 hours. She goes to bed at the same time as big sisters do, usually between 7 and 8. She wakes up about 7:30 or 8 a.m. Big sisters are usually up between 5:45 and 6:30.

We are having our entire house re-wired to get rid of the old knob-and-tube wiring. Two electricians were here 2 days last week, they will be here tomorrow, and probably a day or two next week.

We had Trent's car inspected yesterday because we thought something was majorly wrong with it. I really didn't want to spend money on a vehicle (my least favorite thing to spend money on!). Praise God that it was only low power steering fluid and cost less than $100 for everything!! God is so good. I don't know why I waste energy worrying about things that He takes care of.

My mom has offered to help us re-paint the big girls' bedroom. I chose a lovely old-fashioned pink color. When I showed Trent he just sighed submissively. He has resigned himself to the fact that he lives with 3 daughters and a wife who love pink and all things old-fashioned. I have such a wonderful, patient husband.

New Baby Thoughts

No, we're not pregnant.

Last night I got an e-mail from a friend who just announced they are expecting their second little baby. I was extremely excited for them. In fact, Trent came in the room and asked what I was smiling at as I stared joyfully at the computer screen.

As I was brushing my teeth I just kept on thinking about how excited I was to hear about this new life growing inside my friend. I started praising God for this new baby, and lifted up prayers of health for the mother and health for the unborn child. I still couldn't wipe the smile off my face. As I was praising God I had a sudden thought that had never come to me before when thinking of new life. I thought, If I'm this excited, how much more excited must God be??

I know God has a special plan for this unborn baby as he does for each of us. I'm so thankful that my friend and her husband are raising their children in a Christ-centered home. Psalm 127:3 says "Children are a gift of the Lord."

Updates on our little Hessians:

Magdalena: is 6 months old! It is so hard to believe sometimes. She has a 6-month wellness check-up tomorrow so I'll update with weight and length after her appointment. She can roll from her belly to her back, and also from her back to her belly. She can sit up with the help of a boppy pillow. She adores her sisters, and Anne is especially skilled in making her laugh. What a joy!

Abigail: is actually sick today. Poor thing was throwing up this morning. Recently Abbey has been enjoying puzzles. She can easily do our "chunky" wooden pieced animal puzzles. She also likes attempting the alphabet puzzle. I was surprised to see that she actually knows where several of the pieces go! When we sing the ABCs she says, "A-B-C-Noah!" She is very much in the "monkey-see, monkey-do" phase. She imitates EVERYTHING (good & bad) that big sister does. It is definitely a lesson for all of us. She continues to be true to her name and brings our home so much joy!

Anne: has also been interested in puzzles. She has two 24/25 piece puzzles that she can do. She still needs a small amount of help to get them fully put together, but she is getting there. We are working on the alphabet. She can recognize all of them (sometimes she gets X, Y and Z mixed up), and we are working on being able to write them in upper and lower case. Anne also enjoys hearing chapters read to her from "Little House in the Big Woods" by Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Trent reads to Anne and Abbey before bed while I go out of the room to nurse Magdalena. Right now they are reading "The BFG" by Roald Dahl (one of my childhood favorites). Abbey runs around before bed yelling "B-F-G, B-F-G!" I love that they love books!

Well, I suppose that will be all for today. I'll update some tomorrow about our "new year's resolutions" and Maggie's 6-month check-up.

I'll leave you with a little Anne story. We have a little fishpond out back, and for the past 3 winters have always put a little heater in it so the fish wouldn't die. We decided last summer that it was just too much work to keep it clean (a neighbor's tree drops all kinds of stuff in it) and we would close it up this Spring. So Trent thought we wouldn't bother putting the heater in this winter, plus he wasn't sure how necessary it really was. Well, the pond is thawing... Yesterday Anne went out with Petey, looked in to the pond and come running full speed at me. She yelled, "Mom! Mom! I see the fish in the pond. They're laying on their side like this!" So, I go out, and sure enough, 3 fish are dead, floating in the pond. (Gross). We called daddy at work to tell him. We told Anne that we would bury the fish. Anne was explaining to Abbey that daddy will get the shovel, and dig a hole, and we'll put the fish in and bury them. Then Jesus will make them alive again. I said, "Oh, honey, I don't think Jesus will make your fish alive again." She was extremely distraught at this. This morning before breakfast she was telling Trent how sad she was that her fish died (she was nearly in tears), and asking daddy why he didn't put the heater in so they could live?? Later in the morning, she went upstairs. I assumed she had to go potty, and she came back down a little later. She asked, "Mommy, did you know what I was doing?" (This is a scary question for a 3-year-old to ask.) I said, "Ummm... were you going potty?" Anne responded, "Nope. I was in my room praying that God would make my fish alive."

While on one hand it is funny, on another I find it profound. There is such beauty in pure childlike faith. She is completely unhindered by my adult "knowledge" that dead pond fishies aren't going to come back to life. Her faith is pure, not jaded by reality. Trent said, "Well, maybe if we prayed hard enough and had enough faith, they would come back to life."

Dear Jesus-give me a faith like that. I want to have more of you!!

My Soap Box

Today I led the discussion for my mom's group. I talked a bit about what I feel are the dangers of having a TV, and allowing children to watch television.

I am not necessarily talking about PBS kids, although I'm not sure what their commercials are like, if they push child-related products such as cereal or toys or if their commercials are solely geared toward fund raising and more PBS programs.

Before I get in to the thick of it, let me go back. When Trent and I were married we did not have a lot of money. He was just out of college and I was still in college. Neither of us had a TV and since that was not something we wanted to go in debt for, we did not purchase one. As the years went on, we made a decision not to have a TV in our home. At one point we were given a TV, and also have a VCR and DVD player which allows us to watch a video if we chose to do so.

Now, why did we made the decision not to have a TV? First of all, it is a big "time waster". Once we started having children we realized that we want our time together to actually be together, not just sitting in front of a television. We feel like having an evening together in which we are not spending in front of a TV makes us closer as a couple. We spend our evenings engaged in conversation, often about the children, or parenting, or what Trent is doing at work, what I am doing at home, perhaps about the sermon on Sunday, or a song we heard that was meaningful, an article in World magazine that struck a chord, or something I've read in a Beth Moore study. Other evenings we play a game together after the children are in bed, or do a crossword puzzle. We will often look at facebook together, or visit Kingsway realty's website to check out houses that are for sale. (No, we're not moving, it's just fun to look!)

Another reason I do not want to have TV is because images are powerful. Sure, you may say, "oh, but there are good things on TV, too." And I understand that, BUT there are many terrible things on television as well. For example, we watched the Superbowl. We do enjoy watching football, although the Superbowl is generally the only game we watch each year. However, the commercials were awful. The "Go Daddy" commercials were highly inappropriate as far as the suggestion of nudity. The amount of commercials that showed people hitting other people (with soda cans/logs/etc.) were not appropriate for my little ones to see (ages 3, almost 2, and infant). Anne asked, "why did that guy hit that lady with a big tree?"

Going back to the fact that images are powerful. I want to share a little story from when I was in high school. I went with a friend to another friend's home where there was a group of about 10-12 seniors in high school who were gathered to watch a movie, called "The Ring". I sat through the entire film despite the fact that I felt like it was scary, and the images were rather disturbing. (Mind you, this is before I was even professing Christ as my Savior.) That night I had a bad dream regarding some of the images I saw. To this day, I still have nightmares about that movie.

What does the Bible say about watching movies and TV?

Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

Luke 10:27 "He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'""

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Exodus 20

The Ten Commandments

¹ And God spoke all these words:

² “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

³ “You shall have no other gods before me.

⁴ “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. ⁵ You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, ⁶ but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

⁷ “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

⁸ “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. ⁹ Six days you shall labor and do all your work, ¹⁰ but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. ¹¹ For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

¹² “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

¹³ “You shall not murder.

¹⁴ “You shall not commit adultery.

¹⁵ “You shall not steal.

¹⁶ “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

¹⁷ “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

I could go on, but time does not allow it. If you can watch TV and have it be beneficial to your life, by all means, go ahead and watch it. However, as Christians I truly believe that we are not to conform to the patterns of this world. And while some programs for children are beneficial, I still struggle with what happens when they no longer want to watch "Sesame Street" or other such programs. I can nearly assure you that they are not 14 year old girls still watching and enjoying the same programs on PBS as they did at age 4. Those children have moved on to what the world is telling them is "age appropriate", but often those programs and movies include violence, nudity, and obscene language. I am making a conscious effort NOW, to protect my children's hearts and minds.

I highly doubt that any parent who genuinely cared for their child would allow them to eat french fries for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Why should we allow them to fill their minds with trash?

I don't want to sound overly harsh. I do allow my children to watch some portions of old Disney movies on YouTube. However, I find that many of them contain things that are scary. The "step-mother/Queen" in Snow White is horrifying to my 3-year-old. And the hunter is supposed to stab Snow White with a knife. Wait-this is a children's movie?? (We don't watch this anymore.) The children really do enjoy "Berenstain Bears" episodes on the computer. I like that they generally teach a lesson such as counting your blessings, sharing, and being kind. I also like that they are only about 12 minutes long, so they can watch 2 episodes and the kids really felt like they got to watch a lot of movies.

So that is one of my big "Soap Box" issues that I feel strongly about. I'm not saying that it makes parenting easy. It is difficult and tiring to constantly be attentive to three small children (or ANY small children). However, I'm praying that if I do the difficult work NOW, that I will reap the benefits as they get older and need to make hard choices on their own. I am hopeful that as Scripture promises in Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. "

Sorry that this got so long. It's not a soap box issue for nothing. But look at my precious children, look at your precious children. Don't they deserve the very best?

"Anne, the Adventurous"



"Abigail, the Diligent"

"Magdalena, the Sweet"