Something that has been on my mind a lot is how "life isn't fair". Trust me, this is not a rant or a complaint on my part. But it is true. Life isn't fair.
I have a high school friend who lost her husband in a tragic accident. Another friend I played soccer with for many years lost her preemie twin son, and her husband who had an unknown heart condition, all in the same year.
Life isn't fair.
I know a young family who work hard, but struggle financially.
Life isn't fair.
I have friends who struggle with mental illness. They fight hard, but they struggle.
Life isn't fair.
I have friends who have had several miscarriages, who have had ovaries removed, who have emergency surgeries, and they struggle.
Life isn't fair.
Currently our family has experienced many, many undeserved blessings. We have a nice home, we are so excited to be expecting our fourth baby, we have more than we need. And it doesn't feel fair.
I have been looking for ways to bless some of these aforementioned friends who are struggling.
Our pastor on Sunday was talking about these blessings that we have, and reminding us that it is okay to have "nice things", but to be sure that we own the things, and the things don't own us. He was also encouraging us to use what we have been given. He gave the example of a man who had a really nice lawn mower and he shared it with his impoverished community.
As I think over the things or talents that I have, I am challenged and encouraged to share those with others. Because, the fact is, life isn't fair. We live in a fallen world. But we can have hope because God has given each of us gifts that we can use to encourage, cheer, and bless others with.
I know that I may not always be in this "season" of blessing. That there will be hard days ahead, just as I've walked through difficult times with the help of the Lord. And I hope that when those hard days come again that I am reminded that "the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."
Monday, July 8, 2013
Friday, July 5, 2013
December Baby
I love babies. Is there anything more precious than holding a sweet newborn baby on your chest? Well, maybe relaxing on an empty beach with no responsibilities would be nice, but that's just not the season of life I am in.
So I celebrate babies. I am always so thrilled when friends announce pregnancies, and (as most of you probably already know) I'm even more excited when the pregnancy is my own, like this time!
Since I've gone through three very different pregnancies and three very different deliveries, I always enjoy hearing other moms (and dads!) share their stories.
***If you don't care about pregnancy details, you may want to stop reading now.***
Many of you will remember my pregnancy with Magdalena was far from ideal. She had Intra-Uterine Growth Restriction (IUGR) which basically means that for some unknown reason the baby is not growing the way she should and is in less than the 5th percentile for weight. She was also footling breech, and had the cord twice around her neck. I had to have a "classical c-section" where they make a vertical cut in the uterus to get the baby out.
The vertical cut basically slices right through all the muscles in the uterus, thereby compromising the strength of the uterus. Major stress (such as going into labor) could cause the uterus to rupture *which can result in extensive bleeding, hysterectomy, or death*.
Needless to say, we were very cautious about having another baby. I am very thrilled with the doctor I am seeing. She along with another doctor will be monitoring me closely, especially as I get further along. The baby will be born early to avoid any contractions putting stress on the uterus.
When people ask when I'm due I find it a little difficult to answer. I'm technically due January 16, but they baby will be born 3-4 weeks early, so sometime in December.
As we look forward to our "December Baby" I am having so much fun with the girls. They are completely thrilled that we are having another baby. They have started a "Watch our Baby Grow" chart, where each month they are using a ruler draw how big the baby is and they hang the paper on the wall. Such an awesome and meaningful learning experience!!
I've always had tons of ultrasounds for all of my pregnancies, but this was the first time I had one early-on. The girls got to come in with me and watch the ultrasound. Our baby is about 2 inches long, has arms and legs and fingers and toes and it's little heart is just pumping away. Anne was completely amazed. The ultrasound was starting to get long (over 30 minutes) and Maggie was getting bored, so she said, "I wish the baby were dead." {Which is completely awful to say.} But Anne quickly responded, "Well, we can see it's heart beating, so we know it's alive."
I was so amazed. This little 5-year-old girl gets it - understands that what she is seeing on the screen is a baby; real and alive. Yet millions of these precious babies are aborted because people either don't "get it" or they choose not to see it. So I'm sad for the millions, but I rejoice that this little girl truly understands this amazing concept of life inside the womb as a real life.
Another cool little story.... When the tech first started the ultrasound the baby was asleep on it's back with it's hands crossed across it's face. Midway through the ultrasound the baby woke up. Anne was beside herself with joy over this miracle. On the screen she could see December Baby kicking it's legs and waving it's arms. Then the baby was wriggling and trying so hard to turn over. It was absolutely amazing!
Scientists use a variety of things to "prove a theory". So if I'm trying to prove that a baby is alive in utero, I think I've just done a pretty good job. (and this is all at 11 weeks)
1. Heart is beating
2. Sleeps
3. Wakes up
4. Moves arms and legs
Maggie doesn't understand how long it is until December. She told my mom today when she came over for a July 4th BBQ, "Hi Mema. The baby isn't here yet."
This baby is such a gift to all of our little Hess family. We are so grateful for this new life that God has entrusted to us. Trent and I are having fun disagreeing on names.
So I celebrate babies. I am always so thrilled when friends announce pregnancies, and (as most of you probably already know) I'm even more excited when the pregnancy is my own, like this time!
Since I've gone through three very different pregnancies and three very different deliveries, I always enjoy hearing other moms (and dads!) share their stories.
***If you don't care about pregnancy details, you may want to stop reading now.***
Many of you will remember my pregnancy with Magdalena was far from ideal. She had Intra-Uterine Growth Restriction (IUGR) which basically means that for some unknown reason the baby is not growing the way she should and is in less than the 5th percentile for weight. She was also footling breech, and had the cord twice around her neck. I had to have a "classical c-section" where they make a vertical cut in the uterus to get the baby out.
The vertical cut basically slices right through all the muscles in the uterus, thereby compromising the strength of the uterus. Major stress (such as going into labor) could cause the uterus to rupture *which can result in extensive bleeding, hysterectomy, or death*.
Needless to say, we were very cautious about having another baby. I am very thrilled with the doctor I am seeing. She along with another doctor will be monitoring me closely, especially as I get further along. The baby will be born early to avoid any contractions putting stress on the uterus.
When people ask when I'm due I find it a little difficult to answer. I'm technically due January 16, but they baby will be born 3-4 weeks early, so sometime in December
As we look forward to our "December Baby" I am having so much fun with the girls. They are completely thrilled that we are having another baby. They have started a "Watch our Baby Grow" chart, where each month they are using a ruler draw how big the baby is and they hang the paper on the wall. Such an awesome and meaningful learning experience!!
I've always had tons of ultrasounds for all of my pregnancies, but this was the first time I had one early-on. The girls got to come in with me and watch the ultrasound. Our baby is about 2 inches long, has arms and legs and fingers and toes and it's little heart is just pumping away. Anne was completely amazed. The ultrasound was starting to get long (over 30 minutes) and Maggie was getting bored, so she said, "I wish the baby were dead." {Which is completely awful to say.} But Anne quickly responded, "Well, we can see it's heart beating, so we know it's alive."
I was so amazed. This little 5-year-old girl gets it - understands that what she is seeing on the screen is a baby; real and alive. Yet millions of these precious babies are aborted because people either don't "get it" or they choose not to see it. So I'm sad for the millions, but I rejoice that this little girl truly understands this amazing concept of life inside the womb as a real life.
Another cool little story.... When the tech first started the ultrasound the baby was asleep on it's back with it's hands crossed across it's face. Midway through the ultrasound the baby woke up. Anne was beside herself with joy over this miracle. On the screen she could see December Baby kicking it's legs and waving it's arms. Then the baby was wriggling and trying so hard to turn over. It was absolutely amazing!
Scientists use a variety of things to "prove a theory". So if I'm trying to prove that a baby is alive in utero, I think I've just done a pretty good job. (and this is all at 11 weeks)
1. Heart is beating
2. Sleeps
3. Wakes up
4. Moves arms and legs
Maggie doesn't understand how long it is until December. She told my mom today when she came over for a July 4th BBQ, "Hi Mema. The baby isn't here yet."
This baby is such a gift to all of our little Hess family. We are so grateful for this new life that God has entrusted to us. Trent and I are having fun disagreeing on names.
 |
| Nursery room art that I made! |
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Peer Pressure - (Not Just for Kids)
At some age you "out-grow" peer pressure. Right?
Confession - I am 28 and I have not yet out-grown peer pressure.
I'm not talking about direct "c'mon - it's cool.... all the other mom's are doing it" type of peer pressure.
Perhaps the most effective peer pressure is not intentional.
When Anne was about 16 months old, someone at church asked if we had started potty training her yet. "Umm.. no, I haven't started yet." This dear woman proceeded to say, "Oh. All my kids were potty trained by the time they were 18 months." I think I managed to mumble something about maybe we should start with her.
So, I did. We began potty training Anne at 18 months. It was one of the most difficult years I have experienced. Yes... year. It took us a full out year to potty train Anne. Was it Anne's fault? NO!!! Anne has always been extremely intelligent - very bright - but she was not ready to be potty trained at 18 months.
Lesson learned.
Abbey was just shy of two years old and she potty trained in a week (despite her chronic bowel issues which unfortunately lasted longer). Maggie was 2 and 1/2 when we began potty training her, and while she has had her ups and downs, it was certainly much quicker of a process than starting them so young.
Maybe it's just me - but I often feel the need to justify myself to others - especially if I know they are doing something different from myself.
So I learned my lesson with the potty training - wait until they are older/more ready. Just because someone else's children were perfectly potty trained at 18 months, doesn't mean that mine will.
But why is it that I can't seem to learn that lesson across the board - with all aspects of my parenting especially. I think that part of it is because we live in a world so connected. It's simple to click on Facebook and quickly determine if I am doing what most other moms are doing. Or to read other "mom blogs" and feel like I really don't have it together.
On rare occasions I find myself in the company of other like-minded individuals and I feel as though I can breathe and talk freely about my hopes and desires. It certainly is easier but if I was only around other like-minded people I would not question, wrestle and struggle with beliefs.
So maybe that's the point. Instead of feeling an oft-unspoken "peer pressure" to do what others are doing, I should use those opportunities for conversation to lead me to think and dig deeper into what I believe, and why. I think the toughest thing for me is when I find myself disagreeing with someone who I dearly love and respect and in many ways wish to emulate. Of course, that person is not God, and so I must be careful that I am not idolizing another mom's way of parenting.
Yes, I believe this entry has been productive. Perhaps not for you, but for me!
Confession - I am 28 and I have not yet out-grown peer pressure.
I'm not talking about direct "c'mon - it's cool.... all the other mom's are doing it" type of peer pressure.
Perhaps the most effective peer pressure is not intentional.
When Anne was about 16 months old, someone at church asked if we had started potty training her yet.
So, I did. We began potty training Anne at 18 months. It was one of the most difficult years I have experienced. Yes... year. It took us a full out year to potty train Anne. Was it Anne's fault? NO!!! Anne has always been extremely intelligent - very bright - but she was not ready to be potty trained at 18 months.
Lesson learned.
Abbey was just shy of two years old and she potty trained in a week (despite her chronic bowel issues which unfortunately lasted longer). Maggie was 2 and 1/2 when we began potty training her, and while she has had her ups and downs, it was certainly much quicker of a process than starting them so young.
Maybe it's just me - but I often feel the need to justify myself to others - especially if I know they are doing something different from myself.
So I learned my lesson with the potty training - wait until they are older/more ready. Just because someone else's children were perfectly potty trained at 18 months, doesn't mean that mine will.
But why is it that I can't seem to learn that lesson across the board - with all aspects of my parenting especially. I think that part of it is because we live in a world so connected. It's simple to click on Facebook and quickly determine if I am doing what most other moms are doing. Or to read other "mom blogs" and feel like I really don't have it together
On rare occasions I find myself in the company of other like-minded individuals and I feel as though I can breathe and talk freely about my hopes and desires. It certainly is easier but if I was only around other like-minded people I would not question, wrestle and struggle with beliefs.
So maybe that's the point. Instead of feeling an oft-unspoken "peer pressure" to do what others are doing, I should use those opportunities for conversation to lead me to think and dig deeper into what I believe, and why. I think the toughest thing for me is when I find myself disagreeing with someone who I dearly love and respect and in many ways wish to emulate. Of course, that person is not God, and so I must be careful that I am not idolizing another mom's way of parenting.
Yes, I believe this entry has been productive. Perhaps not for you, but for me!
Saturday, June 22, 2013
God's Grace
When I started doing some serious research into homeschooling, many people suggested having a "mission statement". This statement would help be a reminder to you on the busy and difficult days why you are homeschooling. A couple of weeks ago in our evening devotions I struck upon the perfect verse to guide us through the year.
"Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory!"
I have even changed our tag-line for my blog to "Growing together in God's grace."
Grace is something that is so essential to our Christian lives. I also happen to believe that the lack of grace shown within the church is a large part of the reason that many of the "church kids" I grew up with no longer attend church.
I make a lot of mistakes. And I want God to show me grace!! So who am I to with hold this precious gift from one of my children just because I happen to be in a bad mood and what they did really irritated me. Yet often in that situation, I end up yelling at one of the kids. But I try to go back and apologize, ask them to show me grace, and in turn show them grace.
And then there is Hope. Hope that this grace can seep into their lives, to make them better people, to extend grace beyond our family and into the world.
"Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory!"
I have even changed our tag-line for my blog to "Growing together in God's grace."
Grace is something that is so essential to our Christian lives. I also happen to believe that the lack of grace shown within the church is a large part of the reason that many of the "church kids" I grew up with no longer attend church.
I make a lot of mistakes. And I want God to show me grace!! So who am I to with hold this precious gift from one of my children just because I happen to be in a bad mood and what they did really irritated me. Yet often in that situation, I end up yelling at one of the kids. But I try to go back and apologize, ask them to show me grace, and in turn show them grace.
And then there is Hope. Hope that this grace can seep into their lives, to make them better people, to extend grace beyond our family and into the world.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Homeschool Curriculum
I've had a few people ask what I'm using for homeschool curriculum. After much research I have decided to use Sonlight. I am very excited about it! This is a literature-rich curriculum. Our kids love reading, so this is right up our alley.
Even though Anne is advanced in her reading I have decided to use the Kindergarten curriculum as she is still around that level for math and science. I will custom-tailor the reading/literature portion of the curriculum to meet her advanced needs.
Abbey has decided that she will be in Anne's "Kindergarten class". Maggie is finally becoming more interested in the alphabet and other academic-minded skills. I'm planning for Anne to get piano lessons from a friend in the area. Depending on how much time we have I may also order beginners Spanish in the Spring for Anne. Abbey is excited to start reading more words. She has decided that she will read when she is four, and I have no doubt that she will. In the fall we hope to have Trent's cousin, who is in school for early childhood education, come on Friday mornings and teach math to the girls. It will be good practice for her and a nice little break for me. I imagine it will suit everyone just fine.
Once we get started I'd be happy to share my daily schedule with you all! So much joy!!!
Even though Anne is advanced in her reading I have decided to use the Kindergarten curriculum as she is still around that level for math and science. I will custom-tailor the reading/literature portion of the curriculum to meet her advanced needs.
Abbey has decided that she will be in Anne's "Kindergarten class". Maggie is finally becoming more interested in the alphabet and other academic-minded skills. I'm planning for Anne to get piano lessons from a friend in the area. Depending on how much time we have I may also order beginners Spanish in the Spring for Anne. Abbey is excited to start reading more words. She has decided that she will read when she is four, and I have no doubt that she will. In the fall we hope to have Trent's cousin, who is in school for early childhood education, come on Friday mornings and teach math to the girls. It will be good practice for her and a nice little break for me. I imagine it will suit everyone just fine.
Once we get started I'd be happy to share my daily schedule with you all! So much joy!!!
Monday, June 17, 2013
Summer List
I've seen several people post "bucket lists" for their kids for the summer. Most of them have to do with vacations and enjoying simple pleasures of summer (lightning bugs, star gazing, etc.). I thought this was a cute idea.
Then I read Bonni Greiner's blog : A Bucket List for a Two Year Old?! and I loved it!
Instead of focusing on the fun (which is doubtless going to happen) focus on simple goals that are life-giving and life-changing.
I'm not sure that I'm going to tackle all five of her suggested categories which are as follows:
1. Godly character traits.
2. A physical goal.
3. Memorizing Scripture.
4. Read together
5. Community Service
The one I definitely want to tackle is number 1. I've notice a lack of self-control in two of my children. This has shown up in two different ways. One of the children has thrown a tremendous amount of fits if something doesn't go her way, and these fits can last up to two hours. It has been extremely frustrating and disturbing for the whole family. The other child who has been struggling with self-control has been using bad and hurtful words. She has been talking back to Trent and me and we have been upset by this behavior. Our third child has been very impatient. The moment she is finished with her food she immediately wants to be excused from the table. She is impatient to use the sink to brush her teeth and with various other things. I think a large part of the problem is a selfish attitude.
Today is day one of working on these traits. I want to look up a specific Scripture reference for each child to memorize to help them continue to work on their character trait. So I guess that will cross out number one and number three.
I talked with each child about the trait I want them to work on. Each child agreed that the trait I chose for them is something they need to work on, even though this morning has already proved it a difficult task to rise above these behaviors. And the character trait I will be working on this summer is patience. I've found myself getting very frustrated with the girls and yelling more than I would like to admit.
We are all a work-in-progress, and I really want my children to be aware of the fact that with God's help we don't have to be impatient, out-of-control people all the time. I hope to have a good report for all of you at the end of the summer!
Then I read Bonni Greiner's blog : A Bucket List for a Two Year Old?! and I loved it!
Instead of focusing on the fun (which is doubtless going to happen) focus on simple goals that are life-giving and life-changing.
I'm not sure that I'm going to tackle all five of her suggested categories which are as follows:
1. Godly character traits.
2. A physical goal.
3. Memorizing Scripture.
4. Read together
5. Community Service
The one I definitely want to tackle is number 1. I've notice a lack of self-control in two of my children. This has shown up in two different ways. One of the children has thrown a tremendous amount of fits if something doesn't go her way, and these fits can last up to two hours. It has been extremely frustrating and disturbing for the whole family. The other child who has been struggling with self-control has been using bad and hurtful words. She has been talking back to Trent and me and we have been upset by this behavior. Our third child has been very impatient. The moment she is finished with her food she immediately wants to be excused from the table. She is impatient to use the sink to brush her teeth and with various other things. I think a large part of the problem is a selfish attitude.
Today is day one of working on these traits. I want to look up a specific Scripture reference for each child to memorize to help them continue to work on their character trait. So I guess that will cross out number one and number three.
I talked with each child about the trait I want them to work on. Each child agreed that the trait I chose for them is something they need to work on, even though this morning has already proved it a difficult task to rise above these behaviors. And the character trait I will be working on this summer is patience. I've found myself getting very frustrated with the girls and yelling more than I would like to admit.
We are all a work-in-progress, and I really want my children to be aware of the fact that with God's help we don't have to be impatient, out-of-control people all the time. I hope to have a good report for all of you at the end of the summer!
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Choices
We make choices all day long. Some, seemingly small and insignificant. Others, knowingly large and monumental.
Yesterday I made a choice to tell a "white lie" (also known as a lie) to Anne. We dropped something off at an individual's house, I'll call him "John". John was not at home, but his dog was barking at the window. We left a note on John's porch and left his stuff for him there as well.
As we were leaving, Anne asked why John has a dog. I said, "Well, I guess they like dogs and would like to have one at their house."
Anne said, "What do you mean, 'they?' I thought just John lived here."
This was met with silence. The truth is, that John lives with his girlfriend, and it is his girlfriend's dog. I didn't want to tell Anne this so I told a partial truth, "Well, sometimes John's adult daughter lives with him. That's why I said 'they'."
The rest of the day my lie haunted me. I thought and prayed considerably about this topic.
One of the reasons that I want to homeschool is so that I can talk with my children about difficult subjects, and why we (as Christians) believe differently than the way the world. I don't want her hearing, accepting, and believing the misinformation she would otherwise receive from her peers. Yesterday I had an opportunity to do so, and I failed.
This morning I took Anne aside and reminded her of our conversation yesterday. I apologized for not telling her the whole truth. We had a difficult conversation about people living together without being married. I never mentioned the "d" word (divorce), but I know that conversation will have to happen at some point.
My hope is that through open and honest sharing and conversation about why God's way is best, that Anne (and all the girls) will make good choices throughout their lifetimes. Obviously they won't always make good choices, but I am hoping that they can always learn from their mistakes and try to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength.
Yesterday I made a choice to tell a "white lie" (also known as a lie) to Anne. We dropped something off at an individual's house, I'll call him "John". John was not at home, but his dog was barking at the window. We left a note on John's porch and left his stuff for him there as well.
As we were leaving, Anne asked why John has a dog. I said, "Well, I guess they like dogs and would like to have one at their house."
Anne said, "What do you mean, 'they?' I thought just John lived here."
This was met with silence. The truth is, that John lives with his girlfriend, and it is his girlfriend's dog. I didn't want to tell Anne this so I told a partial truth, "Well, sometimes John's adult daughter lives with him. That's why I said 'they'."
The rest of the day my lie haunted me. I thought and prayed considerably about this topic.
One of the reasons that I want to homeschool is so that I can talk with my children about difficult subjects, and why we (as Christians) believe differently than the way the world. I don't want her hearing, accepting, and believing the misinformation she would otherwise receive from her peers. Yesterday I had an opportunity to do so, and I failed.
This morning I took Anne aside and reminded her of our conversation yesterday. I apologized for not telling her the whole truth. We had a difficult conversation about people living together without being married. I never mentioned the "d" word (divorce), but I know that conversation will have to happen at some point.
My hope is that through open and honest sharing and conversation about why God's way is best, that Anne (and all the girls) will make good choices throughout their lifetimes. Obviously they won't always make good choices, but I am hoping that they can always learn from their mistakes and try to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength.
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