Looking back on 2011

I love to take time to reflect on how God has met me throughout the year. The end of the year is a perfect time to do that! I started this post on the last day of 2011, but I didn't get to finish it because children woke from naps and needed me, so it'll have to do nearly a week in to January.

I went back to re-read my first post of 2011. One of the goals I set for myself was to read the Bible in chronological order. My mom had bought me this Bible and it was set up so that you could read it through in a year. I didn't think that was a realistic goal for me, but guess what? I did it!! I read the whole Bible in a year. I did not do as well with doing Bible studies on my own. I did it for a little while in the beginning of the year, but I didn't continue it throughout the year.

Anne continues to be creative and imaginative. We've read the whole Narnia series, Anne of Green Gables, have started Anne of Avonlea, and many other books in between. Her already large vocabulary is increasing rapidly. She has memorized more Scripture, some at home and some in Sunday School. She loves learning and doing "homework". She has learned the alphabet in upper ans lowercase, writes several words, and can read a few, too! Anne continues to mother her little sisters. She's always eager to learn more.

Abbey has also grown this year! She is fully potty trained during the day (if you read any of my posts throughout the year you'll realize the struggle that was involved with this). Abbey is very good at quickly accomplishing 24-piece puzzles. She is still much more quiet than Anne, but that is great! Not all children are alike, and that's a wonderful thing. Abbey has grown a little bit more independent in 2011. She is in a separate Sunday School class from Anne and does well. It took a couple weeks of crying, but she has grown! She loves going to Sunday School and SMILE. Abbey still looks up to Anne but also loves to mother Maggie.

As predicted, 2011 was a year of many physical changes for Magdalena. She learned to roll over, sit up, crawl and walk!! She is talking a lot, too. I love to hear her cute baby voice. She tries to sing, but often it is just high-pitch squealing along with "Jesus". We walked through a difficult time of handling a gluten-intolerance and then a clean bill of health just a couple of months ago. We are so thankful to God for this miracle in our lives.

Trent was able to preach several times throughout 2011. He joined the Ministry team at work and he has taken on a lot of responsibility with trying to provide vision for our church. I'm so thankful for him and his good job that he really enjoys.

Looking back, 2011 was a bit of a weird year for our family. There was no new baby, and our thoughts of starting the international adoption process was halted. We have also been thinking about selling our house, but that didn't take place in 2011. Both Trent and I feel like we have experienced much spiritual growth in 2011, and are looking forward to this new year. I will plan to write out some goals before too long (I hope!)

Encouraging the Encourager

A few weeks ago I was challenged by a sermon to not bother to decorate for Christmas if I wasn't going to bother telling somebody about why I decorate and celebrate. So, I determined that I would share with a couple of neighbors why I decorate my home for Christmas, and ask why they decorate.

Anne learned a cute song in Sunday School that says, "Christmas bells, Christmas bells, ring on Christmas day! Tell each happy boy and girl God's son was born today!" Trent thought it would be cute if they sang that song to our neighbors when we distributed our little gifts to them. The girls decorated paper lunch bags and helped me make some instant cappuccino mix which we put into glass jars and decorated with red and green ribbon. We practiced the song and I worked up my courage and off we went.

There was no answer at the first door we knocked at, only to find out that the woman had gone to ring bell for the Salvation Army and would be gone all day. The next house was our dear friend, the girls sang her their song and gave her her gift. We crossed the street and went up the steps of the cute house of a sweet woman who was always very kind but I just never was sure if she knew about Jesus since I never asked.

We knocked on the door and to our delight, both the woman and her sister who lives next door to her were there. (Does God have perfect timing or what?) As we were invited into the home Abbey started ringing her bells and Anne and Abbey belted out their song. They were not nervous at all to share their faith and to share about the birth of Jesus! After the song was over we gave them their gifts and visited for awhile. We had a really good conversation about church and Jesus and why we celebrate. As it turns out, they do know the Lord, although they have not been attending a church regularly for awhile. They talked about their excitement for a Christmas Eve Service they hoped to attend. And, of course, they loved on the girls.

When we were getting ready to leave, one of the women said, "Thank you so much for coming to see us. You have no idea how much this means to me!" This woman was unable to have children, although she loves them dearly. Both sisters talked about how special Christmas is when there are children around. As I cast one last look at her perfectly decorated home and walked the few houses back to my own home with its sticky floors and books and toys spread over the carpet, I had to think about how right she was. My house may not be as beautiful as hers, but it is nearly bursting at the seams with love - love of God - love of family - love of neighbors - love of friends. I realized at that moment how truly blessed I am. I went to give simple gifts and offer encouragement in the name of Jesus to these neighbors, but I believe I ended up receiving more than I gave.

An Anniversary, A Sisterhood, and Faith

On the 17th, Trent and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. We had a wonderful evening the 16th. I dropped the girls off at my mom's (thanks Mom!) for their highly anticipated "Girls Night", then rushed home to get myself dressed and ready for when Trent arrived home from work. I wore a lovely bright-red holiday dress (borrowed from my dear Ashley) with a sparkly, gray belt. Trent and I went to Rainbow Dinner Theater where we enjoyed their Christmas show called "Home for the Holidays". We had good food, good company (two older couples sat at our table, both about to celebrate 50th wedding anniversaries!), and a funny show. Afterward we went to Trent's childhood best friend's 30th birthday party. We got home late but it didn't matter because we were able to sleep in since we didn't have any little ones at home to wake us at 6 am! We walked around downtown on Saturday morning, and I finally got to go to a shop I've been wanting to get to but it's just impossible with 3 little ones. It's called Building Character. It was a really neat place. I found an awesome box made out of old doors and painted white that I would love to have for a toy box. We then stumbled upon a restaurant called Sa La Thai where we were able to enjoy a quiet lunch. I was glad to get to my mom's to pick up the girls, but it really was so refreshing to be able to enjoy uninterrupted one-on-one time with the love of my life.

The Hess sisters are doing well. Typically Magdalena is my little side-kick, attached at the hip, girl. The other evening while preparing dinner she took up her usual spot, on my hip, while Annie and Abbey played in the living room. It didn't take long for the noise level to get high, followed by giggles and shouts and jumping. As Maggie strained to see what the big sisters were doing, she said, "Down". I put her down and she ran as fast as her short little legs would carry her to join in the fun. It was such a beautiful moment as both girls saw her coming and welcomed her with open arms into their Sisterhood. It brought tears to my eyes because as closely bonded as Anne and Abbey are, they had no qualms with making room for the littlest. I cannot take credit for this, but I do thank the Lord for it. I know this is not the case in every family so I am all the more thankful for it.



Doesn't it seem that when we are really pursuing the Lord that we grow so much more? I have really really been struggling with having the faith that God will work out the timing of everything that we hope will happen in the coming months. In my head, I know that He will, because He always works everything out, and when I look back I can see His holy hand upon each situation. But when I'm in the midst of it, it's so hard to see. That is how I am right now. I'm in the thick of the planning part of selling/moving/buying/fostering/adopting and I can't quite see the end result. I have an idea of how I would like all of this to look and work out, but I'm just not sure what God has in mind. I've reached a point in my life where I so desperately want to be in the will of God that it sometimes creates this tension in me because I am over-analyzing every situation and possibility.



And so, as often happens, God speaks to me through Scripture. In our evening devotions yesterday the following verses were shared.

2 Kings 7: 2 "If the LORD would make windows in heaven, could this thing be?"

Mark 11:22 "Have faith in God."

Hebrews 11:6 "Without faith it is impossible to please Him."

Matthew 19:26 "With God all things are possible."

Isaiah 50:2 "Is My hand shortened at all that it cannot redeem? Or have I no power to deliver?"

Isaiah 55:8-9 "My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are you ways My ways," says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."

Malachi 3:10 ""Try Me now in this," says the Lord of hosts, "if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it."

Isaiah 59:1 "Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear."

2 Chronicles 14:11 "Lord, it is nothing for You to help, whether with many or with those who have no power."

2 Corinthians 1:9 "We should not trust in ourselves bu in God who raises the dead."

With the busyness of Christmas just around the corner, I fully intend to take some time to spend with the Lord. Just to be quiet, to remember the birth of my dear Savior, and to reflect on the blessings of 2011. I am so excited for 2012, but I think that I need to remember to slow down and enjoy each little moment of peace that I can for the rest of 2011.

May the God of all Creation bring you Comfort and Joy this Christmas.

A Stumbling Block

I recently posted on Facebook what I thought would be an entertaining debate on Santa. I asked Santa or no Santa, why or why not. Looking back, I wish I would've had the sense not to do that. There were, of course, many comments, most of them very passionate supporting their side of whether to "do" Santa or not.

I grew up in a home that "did" Santa. I believed in Santa, and have fond memories of staying up late with my sisters, listening for Santa on the roof, and looking forward to opening our stockings on Christmas morning, wondering what Santa brought for us. I don't remember an exact moment of when I learned that Santa was not real, but it was early in elementary school, maybe Kindergarten or 1st grade. I'm sure part of me knew prior to this that Santa couldn't possibly be real. Many of the people who were pro-Santa said to do it for the memories. I think this is what they meant.

*Best Friends*

When Trent and I got married and after we had Anne, we briefly discussed whether we would do Santa or not. Trent grew up in a home that did not believe in Santa, and after talking about it, we agreed that we would not pretend that there was a Santa that came to the house to deliver presents. Since we don't have any books about Santa Claus or a TV, we would have to completely fabricate a story to tell the children. It really feels like (and is) a lie. We want to always be truthful to our children, and believe it is important that they can trust us.

*sisters*

Looking back on my childhood, I can't say that I ever felt that my parents were liars because they told us about Santa. Trent and I are just choosing to do something different with our children, and I think that's okay. To be honest, I don't really have a problem with people doing Santa. I know that children enjoy it the same as they do other fairy tales. To me, this is a little different because you're actually trying to get a child to believe in something that isn't real and they can't see. We want our children to always believe in Jesus, even though they can't see him, and I would worry that this could be too confusing for little ones. Plus, when I have talked with Anne briefly about Santa and asked if she thought he was real she laughed and said, "no!" She has seen the classic Rudolph movie on YouTube, and recognizes Santa as a character, similar to Peter Pan or Bambi.

*My Magdalena*

Now to the stumbling block. After reading several comments on why people did/or didn't do Santa, there was one girl who commented that she thinks it is so cruel for people to not allow their children to believe in Santa and people need to stop forcing their religion onto other people. It made me step back and think. Are my thoughts about Santa creating a stumbling block for another person to come to Christ?

1 Corinthians 8:9 "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak."

Of course, if a person is weak it could go the other way, too. If I do allow my children to believe in Santa, which feels fine to me, it could create a stumbling block for a person who believes it is wrong.

Believing in Santa Claus is not a salvation issue. So looking back, instead of creating controversy, I should have said nothing. My sister says that I'm an instigator, which can be true. I enjoy a hearty debate and can often appreciate both sides. But not everyone can. And so, I've repented of my error in judgement and will try hard not to do anything of that nature again.

Scattered Thoughts

We've been having some rough times with Anne. She won't go to sleep at night, and keeps Abbey awake since they share a room. She has learned that if she takes a book she can flip the light switch on since she can't reach it. The first time this happened we didn't realize it and the girls were awake until almost 11 pm. We've tried spanking, taking away toys, taping the light switch, all to no avail.

We're trying something a little different with Anne. Friends have given me lots of advise (mainly that she's probably not tired since she usually takes a 3 hour nap), and I'm trying my own compilation of what I think will work best for Annie. I created a box of quiet things for Annie to do during nap time. Right now, there are a few colored pencils, two blank papers and two coloring book pages, 3 easy-reader books, a doll and doll clothes, and some stuffed animals. Today was our first day instituting the nap time box. After I put the other girls down for nap, I read Anne a chapter in "Anne of Green Gables", then I allowed her to get our her box to play quietly on her own. She did this for about an hour and a half, and then after checking on her a few times, could see she was getting tired. I suggested she lie down to sleep, and I am planning on only allowing her to sleep for an hour and a half at the most. Yesterday I did not have her "nap box" put together, so it was unsuccessful. She got into stuff in my room that she should not, and was not quiet at all. I only let her sleep about 45 minutes and it was just not long enough. So we're trying this today, and we'll see how it works!

I have a feeling this will be successful because I'm trying to make it as positive as possible. A similar "trick" I am doing with the light switch. She may turn on any light she wants in the morning, but at night, lights are off. I think we all enjoy when things are looked at in a positive light, and Anne especially so.

We read the following passage today in "Anne of Green Gables" and I really believe it fits my Anne. (page 178)
"For Anne to take things calmly would have been to change her nature. All "spirit and fire and dew", as she was, the pleasures and pains of life came to her with trebled intensity. Marilla felt this and was vaguely troubled over it, realizing that the ups and downs of existence would probably bear hardly on this impulsive soul and not sufficiently understanding that the equally great capacity for delight might more than compensate." As I thought about it, it occurred to me that my Anne has a great depth of feeling. Prior to this I would have said she is a sensitive child. She cries so easily, yet on the opposite end, she laughs harder than most other children. She gets immense joy out of life, but feels sorrow very deeply. The child is passionate.


I have been so frustrated with Anne disobeying me (it feels like all day long) or making excuses for not doing something right away when I ask. Then it struck me, how often do I do this to her? Our children learn from our example. How often does she ask me to do something for her, but I say, "I'll do it when I'm finished washing these dishes," or I'll say, "Let me switch the laundry over first, then I'll read you that book." Today I was very intentional about what I said. I paid closer attention to what the children's needs were, and I think I was better at meeting those needs. Abbey asked me to read a book, and I started to say, "let me just..." but instead I said, "Sure, Abbey, I'll read you that book! I'll put those dishes in the dishwasher later."

It may not seem like a big deal to you, but guess what? My morning went better today than it has in a long time (except that we missed a doctor appointment that I forgot to write on the calendar). Today felt like a victory. It's not easy to always put yourself second, but this is my calling. Mothering is my calling, and it is my job to do as good of a job as I possibly can.

I was thinking last night about how I'd love to have some closer relationships with some of my girlfriends. But I think about how much my children need me right now. I know that they won't always, and in the future there will be time for deeper relationships. So for now, I am going deeper with the children and with Trent. I am thankful for life, for Trent, for the children. Even when the girls are up to their crazy bedtime stunts, I really do love every moment. Only the good Lord knows how long we have on this earth. So if I spend every day being thankful and truly acknowledging my blessings, I believe if/when some difficult days come, I will be able to stand firm in my faith.

The Book of Life

Sunday the Anne girl told me that she asked Jesus to come and live in heart. I wasn't sure if she actually knew what this meant, and was hoping that we would get a chance to talk about it.

Today the opportunity presented itself. We were eating lunch, and as often happens, we have great conversation at the table. We were talking about what we are Thankful to God for, as we think about Thanksgiving. I told the girls that I am thankful to God for each one of them, that I love them, and I love how each of them are different. I said I am thankful to God that He sent His Son, Jesus, to earth as a baby, that he lived and he died to save us from our sins.

Anne chimed in with something like this, "I'm thankful to God that when I die I will get to go to Heaven because I asked Jesus to come and live in my heart." We had more conversation about why she needed to do this, because we are all sinners. She enjoys saying, "Even Mommys and Daddys sin sometimes." And I really believe that she "gets it". She prayed on her own that Jesus would come in her heart and that He would help her to obey Him. I told her that Mommy and Daddy are so happy that she did this, and that we prayed that she would one day accept Jesus even before she was born. I told her that the Bible tells us (Mark 16:15 NIV) He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." I explained that that means we need to tell other people about Jesus so that they can love Him, too, and that they can go to Heaven when they die.

She immediately turned to Abbey and said, "Abbey, did you know that Jesus died on the cross to save you from your sins? You should ask Him to come and live in your heart!"

Abbey responded matter-of-factly, "I already did!"

I know that they are only 4 and 2 and 1/2, but I really do believe that they understand to some degree, and I promised Annie and Abbey that I would try to help them to continue to follow God and love Him all the days of their lives.

A little later Anne ran upstairs. I assumed that she went to the bathroom, but before long I heard loud singing. As I went to investigate, she was lying on her bed with her arms up in the air singing praises to God that He is living in her heart.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful to God that two of my children have dedicated their little hearts to the Lord. And even little Maggie raised her hands to heaven to "Praise God" with us!

The Devil's Lies and a Sign

In case you couldn't tell, I was not my normal, happy self earlier this week. I'm very thankful to be feeling much better now and to have fresh perspective on life and what really matters.

In my last post I said "I am beginning to feel like I'm not doing anything of value currently, and so need to be doing something."

Can you see how this is (in the words of Trent) complete garbage?? These are lies that the devil whispers to us mothers. It may take the form of, "you're not doing enough," "you aren't a good mother," "you aren't a good housekeeper," "you aren't patient enough," etc. etc. In the depressed mood I was in I began to buy into the lie that I wasn't doing anything of value. WHAT?? Raising three daughters IS of value! Even if my house isn't clean, or I at times lose patience, or it is noon and I haven't brushed my hair, I AM BUILDING GOD'S KINGDOM. And that, my friends, is always of value, and always enough.

In my strange mood, I also prayed an odd prayer. I had prayed that God would reveal to me in a dream what I am supposed to do. Now, I have never before had a "vision" of what I was to do. But I thought it would be worth praying for. No, I did not have a dream, but God spoke to me as He usually does, through people and Scripture.

Yesterday I took the girls to McDonald's after Anne's 4 year well-child visit. Annie had to get 4 shots, Maggie got the flu shot, and Abbey and Anne both got the nasal-spray flu vaccine. I had told them if they were good girls we would go to McDonald's for lunch. Typically if we do this, we drive through and then take it home to eat. But for some reason, Anne really wanted to eat inside, so we did. And for some reason, they wanted to play in the play-area instead of having ice cream cones. And wouldn't you know, there was one woman out there with her two little boys, a four year old and a one year old. As this woman and I talked while the children played, she revealed to me that the sweet boys are actually foster-boys. So I took this "chance encounter" and accepted it as my sign from God that foster-adopt is indeed what we were to do.

Our devotions last evening shared this timely verse:

Psalm 27:14 "Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!"

I hear you, Lord!! Thank you for revealing yourself to me.

An Unfamiliar Time

I know this will sound strange to many of you, but I have recently entered a foreign land. Baby is completely weaned at 14 1/2 months, and I'm not pregnant. This is the first time that I have been at this point in time since January, 2007.... almost 5 years.

So it is very strange for me. I'm going through this time where, to be honest, I feel a little lost. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing with myself and where I should be expending my energy. Obviously I have three young children, and they require energy, but I have so much more! I really feel like there is something missing in my life right now.

I'm excited for the future, but the future is just that. I am challenged to be useful and of value where I am. I am beginning to feel like I'm not doing anything of value currently, and so need to be doing something. I just don't know what it is. At the risk of sounding even more strange, I've been asking God to reveal to me in a dream what he wants me to do. I'd love to hear how God reveals himself to you all?

Four

Yesterday marked four years since Anne Margaret Hess was born. Four years. . .

*2 Days old*


*1 Year old*


*2 Years old*

*3 Years old*

*4 Years old*

Four years goes quick.

As the eldest child Anne bears the brunt of my parenting mistakes. She has the unasked for role of "Guinea Pig". And she handles it so well. She is so forgiving and easily asks forgiveness. She has taught me much.

Anne and I have the joy of having very similar personalities. This can be great because we enjoy doing much of the same things (reading!). But it has caused some difficulty as well. We can both be stubborn, want things done our way, and are always right. I am constantly being challenged by this little one. I get frustrated with her sometimes. And yet, I love her so deeply. I value our mother-daughter relationship more than I value being right all the time. I'm still a work in progress, but I'm learning.

Anne has challenged me to be more vocal about my faith in Christ. She is always eager to share her love of Jesus with everyone we meet. She is forcing me to find creative ways to live out my faith and share the love of God with neighbors, friends and family.

The Anne girl has a beautiful motherly spirit in her. She dotes on her younger sisters, cares for them and protects them. I am thoroughly enjoying watching Anne grow up and slowly mature into a beautiful girl. I look forward to watching her grow up into a young woman. I am excited to watch the plan that God has for her life slowly unfold.

We have laughed together, cried together, prayed together and sang together. I am so grateful to the Lord for bringing Anne into our family in His perfect timing.

God is good.

Baby Steps & A Miracle

I believe that every child is a gift from God.

Psalm 127:3 (New Living Translation) "Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him."

And each gift is different.

Psalm 139:13 (NIV) "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb."

Sometimes these precious gifts face more challenges than others. Sometimes we are blessed with "easy" lives, good health, and financial stability. Other times we face challenges, poor health, a difficult economy, desert days.

My post today, "Baby Steps & A Miracle" is just that.

Baby is taking steps; lots of them! She started taking a step or two here and there about a month ago. Now she walks probably 50% of the time. She will often start crawling if she isn't going fast enough. Maggie's personality is blossoming. She is wild, and willful, and naughty; yet is also snuggly, lovey, and sweet. Isn't that beautiful? The joy and laughter she brings to our home is a blessing. Each new thing she does seems to be a miracle.

And now for the big miracle. Magdalena does NOT have Celiac Disease!! After much debating we had decided to get her tested. When my doctor's office called with the results I was stunned! Negative?? How could this be? In my mind, we were having her tested in order to confirm whether we would be doing this life-long gluten-free diet for our little girl. And we were totally willing to do it! We were dedicated to taking care of our child, regardless of what challenges that may entail. We were sure that she had Celiac Disease, and even a couple of months ago she ate something containing gluten that seemed to hurt her stomach (up all night crying).

There was still a chance that she could have a gluten-intolerance without having Celiac Disease. The way to know is to slowly start to re-introduce gluten into her system. We have done this for the past week (since getting her negative result) and she has been stomach-ache free! Praise God!! Maggie was always a good eater, but now she's even better! She doesn't want to have anything to do with her gluten-free food that we used to feed her!!

Trent says that she could have just out-grown it, but I disagree. I will give the credit to God for working yet another miracle in my little baby's life!

Philippians 4:4 (NIV) "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"

Two little Girls

I have been wanting to repaint the big girls' room for a long time. About 2 months before we found out we were pregnant with Anne we had just torn out the plaster from one wall and put up new drywall... and we painted the "spare room" blue. Well wouldn't you know it, a few months later found out we were pregnant, and a couple months after that, found out we were expecting our first daughter. Trent refused to repaint a room since it had perfectly good paint already on the walls. Well anyway, we had a problem with our furnace awhile back and it was putting black soot on all the walls. After we replaced the furnace we were slowly (as in years) repainting all the rooms in our house.

-Before-

I decided that the girls really ought to have a pink room, so I chose a lovely old-fashioned pink color called Rose Shadow or something like that.... We didn't purchase any new furniture or bedding. If we did I would have chosen something painted white, but that looked aged and a pretty patterned quilt with pinks and blues... maybe someday we'll get some furniture of our own.

-Priming-

Back in May we painted Anne and Abbey's room and I was very pleased with the result. The girls love it, it brightens the room, and they love showing people who come to our house their "new" room.

-Daddy succumbing to the fact that he has 3 daughters. Smiling as he paints with pink!-

-Still wet, but getting pink... the doors still need painted-

-Loving it!-

-With their beds together. They call this their "trundle bed" like in Little House on the Prairie. Their beds are no longer like this since it resulted in too much jumping on the beds while they were supposed to be sleeping.-

-My mom had got these cute owl stickers for Abbey so we were able to put those up on the wall with her help. The girls really enjoy them!-

As difficult as it can be at times to have Anne and Abbey sleeping in the same bedroom, I am so thankful that they are! The girls have an incredibly close bond. They have been asking when Maggie will be old enough to sleep in their bedroom with them. Even though we will hopefully be moving to a bigger house next year, I love the idea of the three girls sleeping together in one room. Bunk beds and a toddler bed? Why not!?

40 Years!

On Sunday I had the privilege of preparing food to celebrate my mother and father-in-law's 40th wedding anniversary. I was a little worried that it would get stressful since I was taking all the food to their home, but it turned out very well. I did most of the prep-work on Saturday, then Sunday after church and we got the girls down for their naps I headed down to their home to make the salad and get everything situated. It didn't take me as long as I expected so I had plenty of time to relax before Trent arrived with the girls. Our little party consisted of the honored guests, Don & Diane Hess, and their three boys, (Troy, Todd, and Trent) Todd's girlfriend Sarah, and then myself and our three girls. It was nice to all be together for this special occasion.

I have a lot of appreciation for marriages that are life-long. Far too often we see broken families, divorces, and hurting children as a result. I was reading my Bible today and I read these verses:

Malachi 2:13-15 "Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth."

I think many of us know people who have divorced and have not produced godly offspring. Obviously, this is not always the case. But what I infer from this text is that godly children are more likely to result when a married couple is together as ONE. And when they commit themselves in flesh and spirit to the LORD first.

The other day when I was talking with Anne we were sharing how much we love each other. And out of nowhere she said, "But Mommy, I love Jesus even more than I love you!" And I was so excited! This is something that took me YEARS to understand. How can I love God more than I love my mom? Or more than Trent? But this little three - almost four - year old gets it! Praise God!

So, thank you, Don and Diane, for showing your boys (and me!) what 40 years of commitment is like. Maybe you had rough times in the mix, but you stuck it out, you remained faithful to God and to your marriage vows. Lord willing we will be celebrating your 50th and 60th!

Daniel

You all know of Anne's desire for a brother. She asks on a regular basis for a brother, and even prays for a brother. The other day I had sent Anne to her room for being out of control and when Trent went to get her she was in Maggie's room looking through the Baby Names Book that we used for each of our girls. When he asked what she was doing, she said she was choosing a name for her brother. When he asked what name she chose she said, "Daniel." She has for a long time liked this name and said that if she ever has a brother she will name him Daniel. I hadn't really thought much about it other than it was a cute story. When I was sharing it with a woman at church she said, "Just wait until you receive a referral for a little boy named Daniel. God has a sense of humor."

I had never thought of that. When I told Trent he said that it would just be creepy if that happened and that one particular child would be instantly attached.

I had a good visit today with another friend from church who does foster care and has adopted her children through foster care. It was so fantastic to be able to hear her story and although some of what she said could be taken as "scary" I loved every word because to me it perfectly illustrated God's love and faithfulness. She shared a story of her little boy praying for a baby brother. She kept trying to tell him, no, I don't think that's going to happen. Well wouldn't you know? They were approached by a birthmom to adopt her unborn baby BOY! Of course, her little boy said, "We'll take him! I prayed for that!"

Child-like faith is such a beautiful thing isn't it? This is how Anne prays for her Daniel.

I've been in contact with Lancaster Children & Youth and should receive an information packet from them this week. I'm excited about it, and still praying that God will reveal the direction we are supposed to take.

A couple of health updates!

Abbey is pooping on the potty EVERY DAY!! PRAISE GOD!!
She's excited about it and seems to have gotten over her fear or whatever the problem was. Our next step is to slowly wean her off the medication that she is on. This is such an answer to prayer!

I made an appointment for Magdalena to have her blood work done this Friday. While it doesn't sound like the most enjoyable thing for her (or me) to endure, I think we really need to know for sure what her diagnoses is. She had a couple really bad days last week, and I don't know if she ate something wrong, or if it is because she is getting 2 teeth, but it was like the "old days" of crying, crying, crying. A huge thank you goes out to my mother-in-law for agreeing to watch Anne and Abigail while I take Maggie to the doctor.

That's all for now! Hopefully I'll get a chance to write again soon!!

Are you Crazy?

**Sisters at the Baltimore Zoo**

We've had some busy days around here. Annie must be going through a growth spurt because she is eating like a horse, very tired all the time, and is very cranky. She's been throwing a lot of fits and been very irritable. Yes, she's 3, not 13.

Abbey has had a lot of success on the potty the past couple of days. Praise God! Some of you must have been praying for her! Anne is her biggest cheerleader. Whenever Abbey gets a little poop out on the potty we give her some little M&Ms. Of course, somehow Annie has persuaded Abbey to share some with her after each victory. In turn, Anne cheers her on, knowing that sweets will be delivered if Abbey goes on the potty. We're getting there!!!

I still haven't taken Magdalena to get her blood work done to test for Celiac Disease... Maybe next week?

**Abbey at Splits & Giggles earlier this summer.**

Some days around here are busy, and crazy, and tiring. And here we are thinking about Foster Care and adoption... Are we crazy?

Probably.

But here's what I've been thinking about. God gives us passions. He gives us a heart for something. A heart for the lost, for missions, for teaching, for children, for adoption, for foreign countries. He gives each of us unique abilities and he expects us to use those things for His glory. I think of the story of the man who gave each of his workers "talents" and how two of the three men in the story used them to grow, but one man buried his so he wouldn't lose it.

As I was thinking of this, I was reminded of how I have this idea that I want to provide care for a child or children, but I am worried about how it will affect the girls emotionally. Then the Spirit, as He often does, brought a Bible verse into my head.
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

It felt as if God was saying to me, "I gave up the LIFE of my only son! I'm asking you for their emotions."

And again, the Spirit led me to the Scriptures. To the story of Abraham. God asked him to sacrifice the life of his son Isaac. And he was willing to do it!

God is asking me to trust in Him through this. God is asking me to have more faith. To fully depend on Him!

Is this going to be hard? Yes!
Am I going to cry sometimes? Probably!
Will I be stretched through this? For sure!
Am I going to be blessed with a closer relationship with the Lord? I have no doubt!!

As a Christian, I need to be not only yielding to the call of God, but to be excited about it! I shouldn't be dragging my feet saying, "Well, we're doing this foster care thing, but not because we really want to, but you know, God wants us to." What a terrible attitude! The more I think about it the more excited I truly am!

At this point, we still have a couple of options. We could go directly through Lancaster County Children and Youth, or we could go through an agency. We would love if you would pray for us so we would know which direction we are supposed to take.

Also, we are hoping to sell our house in the Spring and purchase something a little bigger in order to have room for a fourth or maybe a fourth and fifth child. We are really praying for the timing to work out. I know the real estate market is pretty brutal right now. It would definitely help us when we are looking for a bigger house because we may be able to get one at a good price, but that also means selling our house at a lower price.

**Gladiolus from my flower bed out front. I would be SO excited to have space for more flowers!**

That's where we are right now. Thinking about transitions and growing our family. Anne is definitely excited. At first she said she didn't want to move, but as we talked about it more, she got excited that we may have a yard with grass to play in. More than that she desperately wants a brother. I don't know what God has in store for us, but Anne prays on a daily basis for a brother. Only time will tell!

Some Updates

This rainy morning we had a doctor appointment for Magdalena, and I tacked Abigail on since she is still having bowel/constipation issues. Let's start with Mags.

Magdalena: 1-year well child check-up. She is 28.5 inches long and weighs 17 pounds, 2 ounces. She is still considered to be in less than the 5th percentile, but she is following her own curve, which is great. She will stand for a few seconds by herself, but I haven't been able to get a picture of it yet. Today after her appointment she was standing up holding onto the bookshelf in the living room. She had a small toy in her hand and turned around to show us. She stood there for probably 15 seconds smiling and waving her toy around. When she realized what she was doing she immediately sat down. Little stinker! :) A just for fun comparison in height and weight for the girls at 1 year.

Maggie: 28.5 inches, 17 lbs. 2 0z.
Annie: 30 inches, 18 lbs. 4 oz.
Abbey: 29 inches, 16 lbs. 10 oz.

It's hard to believe but Maggie has already surpassed what Abbey was at one year! Magdalena has more than tripled her birth weight, which is fantastic, and she has grown 11.5 inches this year!

I discussed with the doctor doing an actual blood test to check Magdalena for Celiac Disease. He does not really like to do these kinds of tests on little ones, but I am at the point where I want to know for sure whether or not she has it. If she does, fine, we'll continue what we are doing with the gluten-free diet. The doctor has promised to do some research on other local doctors and Pediatric GI's in the area who would be willing to do the test. Any prayers would be appreciated.

**Those of you with a weak stomach or who don't want to read about poop, please skip this portion.**
Abigail: She is still having serious bowel issues. The doctor calls it constipation, but when she goes it is not hard at all. She will hold her BM for a long time, sometimes it's a full week. She is at the point now where she will only go if we give her a laxative. I am not convinced that it is just constipation. After she eats her stomach is distended and hard and she is bloated and gassy. The doctor assures me that this is just because she is holding it so long. When Abbey has to go she will just lie down on the couch/floor/bed and cover herself up with a blanket. She gets goose-bumps and is shivery. It breaks my heart because she is literally making herself ill by not going to the bathroom, but I can't force her to go. If anyone has any suggestions on how to help this problem, I would gladly accept any advice. Today the doctor recommended giving her 2 doses of miralax a day until she is going every day or at least every other day and to call him in 2 weeks to check in with her progress. Again, prayers are appreciated!!

**Weak-stomached readers may resume.**

I also wanted to update you all on where we are at with fostering-adoption. We went to an information meeting with a local agency who does foster care and adoption. It was very informative and helpful. We are still trying to process everything and are praying for guidance and for direction and to be able to discern what God would will us to do in this situation.

Basically, we would be going in as foster parents. Typically the goal is reunification with birth parents. This would be considered high-risk, since there is a very good chance that a child or children would be with us, and then be returned to birth family after some time. There is also the chance that a child would be placed with us and maybe birth-mom/dad are in jail or had drugs in their system, has other children in the system or are "known" for their lack of parenting. This might be considered moderate-risk. Meaning the goal is still reunification with birth family, but there is a chance that the child/children would be available for adoption at some point down the road.

I think I've come to the point where I am willing to take the emotional risk because I want what is best for the dear children who are in the foster-care system. I am realizing that as difficult as it will be for me to watch a child leave my home for another, I am an adult and I could get over it. I want to provide the best possible care for a child or children who are in need of it, whether it is long-term (forever) or short-term.

Now here is where the next part of the struggle comes in. I have crossed this hurdle for myself, but what about our birth children? Anne has such a tender little heart. She asks on a daily basis for a brother. She is constantly asking when we are going to have another baby. When Trent was explaining about our foster-care meeting he told Anne that some children do not have mommy's and daddy's who can take good care of them. Anne's immediate response was, "We can take care of them! I want a brother!" As excited as she is, we both worry about the trauma it would cause her to have a brother or sister in our home for say 6 months or a year, only to have to give that child back to a birth mom or dad. If anyone knows of some good resources to read up on this topic I would be very grateful for them.

I think that is all I have time for today... again, prayers are definitely appreciated in regard for wisdom concerning the many decisions we need to make!

Night Time Weaning - Nights 3&4

Night 3 : Mags woke up one time, about 4 a.m. I went in, picked her up, sang "Jesus Loves Me" and laid her back down. No crying, straight to bed. Praise God!

Night 4: Magdalena slept ALL night. She woke up at about 7:30 am. This has gone exponentially better than I would have thought. Hopefully she will continue in this trend!

Today while I had the girls with me at Lowe's we were waiting in line to have our paint color mixed, there were several people behind us in line. Magdalena was unabashedly saying "HI!" to them and waving. There was an older gentleman who commented on how cute the girls were.

There was also a younger man who was looking at the girls.
He said the typical, "You have your hands full." to which I smiled and
said, "Yes, but we love it."
Then he said, "How old are they, 3, 2, and 1?"
and I said, "Yes, that's correct."
And, for the first time I received this question, "Are they all yours??"
I laughed and said, "Most definitely!"

It made me laugh because we want what we consider a "big family". To us that means probably six children, potentially more. We do not know what the Lord has planned for us. Yet, to most Americans, we already have a big family. I'm sure I'll get that question more often as the years go on. I hope I will always be able to answer it with a chuckle and a smile in order to show how truly blessed we are.

Praise God for each of our children. Whether we have one child or fifteen children, each child is a special gift of the Lord, and God has a plan for each one of them!

Night Time Weaning - Night 2

Praise God! Magdalena has proved just as wonderful as her sister! Last night Maggie went to bed around 7:30. When I went to bed around 11:00 she hadn't woken up yet, and I was lying in bed wondering if she would be awake in another 15 minutes. When I heard her start crying, instead of the 11:15 pm time I assumed it would be, it was 5:30 am!! That was the longest stretch I have slept in six months. It was so beautiful! I was worried about letting her cry because Annie and Abbey usually wake up at around 6:30, and I really didn't want them to wake up at 5:30.

*Miss Magdalena*

I went into Maggie's room and picked her up and sang "Jesus Loves Me" then laid her down. She started to do her angry cry at me. I left her room and went to the bathroom and by the time I got back to my bed she was already asleep. It was probably only 2 minutes. She woke up around 7:20 am and she had a great morning.

It hasn't seemed to matter so far that I still nurse her 3 times during the day. I'm so excited that she has transitioned so well! It was a wonderful night of sleep. Hopefully this pattern will continue!

*My two big helpers washing dishes*

Night Time Weaning- Night 1

I know in my last post I said I wasn't really ready to give up nursing. And I'm not... completely. Just the over-night feedings and mainly because they are getting a bit out of control. Maggie has been waking up at least 2 or 3 times in the night to nurse. I decided that after her birthday party (which was Saturday) I would make her give those up.

*Sleeping on the way home from the Baltimore Zoo.*

Last night she woke up at her typical 11:15 pm time to nurse. Instead of feeding her I picked her up and sang to her and patted her back and then laid her back down in the crib and went out of the room. Well, let me tell you, she was NOT happy about this. She yelled pretty loud to get her point across that she was angry with me. She calmed down a bit and then was "talking"/making noise for about 10 minutes. After this she started to cry again, so I went back into her room to calm her down, sang to her, rubbed her back and laid her down. As soon as I started to put her back down she was doing her angry yell at me. This cycle of crying, comforting etc. went on until about midnight when she finally settled down and fell asleep.

*Trent and Maggie at the Pinnacle.*

At 4:00 am she woke up and wanted to be nursed. I did the same thing as before. This time I only had to go in the initial time, and then once more after about 10 minutes of fussing. After I left the second time she calmed herself down and slept until she woke up at about 7:30.

*At Tucquan Glen.*

I'm curious to see how she will do tonight. I really hate to hear my babies cry like that, but I know that they have to do it. In the long run it is worth it. After we did this with Abbey (only it was making her give up the pacifier at 9 months) our lives were SO much better. There was no more waking up in the night because of a lost pacifier. It only took Abbey 2 days to get over the fact that I wasn't going to give it to her anymore and she started sleeping all night and napping well. Let's hope the same holds true for Magdalena. I still intend to nurse her 3 times a day, so we'll see if that is confusing to her or not.

Magdalena turns ONE!!

Today is the day, Maggie's big day! It blows my mind that my baby girl is one year old today. Her journey to life was a difficult one, and her birth was completely unlike her big sisters. If you want to re-live that day with me, please click here for Magdalena's Story.



Since I've been through two other "first birthdays" you would think that I would be prepared for this, but Maggie is just so different from her sisters. She was a difficult pregnancy, a difficult delivery, a NICU baby, slower to do most everything. She just seems too little to be one year old! And as odd as it may sound, this is the first time that we are having a "first birthday" without having another little one on the way. Perhaps that is why it seems so strange. With Annie and Abbey I was already trying to prepare for them to be big sisters instead of being the baby, and it is quite different with Magdalena.



Magdalena still nurses. A&A both were weaned at about 10 1/2 months, and I think this was mainly because I was pregnant and they weren't interested in anymore. Maggie will typically nurse at breakfast, before nap, and before bed, and then she is also still waking up in the night at least once, more often two times, and occasionally 3 times to nurse. Obviously she wouldn't "need" those night time feedings, but a part of me is not ready to give them up.

**This is one of my favorites. She just looks so sweet!**

Maggie does not walk. She will walk along the edge of furniture, or push a toy or chair and walk behind it, but she mostly crawls. She likes to hold my hands and walk, but doesn't seem too thrilled with the idea of doing it herself. Maggie can stand for a few seconds by herself, but not real long. She crawls like crazy and is into everything. She gives kisses, makes elephant noises, mimics her sisters and says several words. She says mama, dada, Non-non (for Annie), dog, more, doll, Mum-Mum (is one of her snack foods), yeah, out, down, hi, hey, and I'm sure there are more that I'm forgetting.



She has such a sweet personality. She is very active like Anne was, but has this really sweet side to her that reminds me a lot of Abbey. She is shy around children her age, but adores older children and little babies. She definitely prefers mom over any other adult, but is beginning to go to other people that she sees a lot. This weekend she went to Paw-Paw, which surprised me, but she was very content with him as well as sitting on Uncle Troy's lap. This seems to be a common theme with all 3 of our girls.



Anne and Abbey can always get Maggie to smile and laugh. Anne is quite the helper. The other day I was out in the kitchen getting dinner ready and I usually have the gate in front of the stairs but did not on this particular day. Anne yelled to me that Maggie was trying to climb the stairs, but she'll get her. By the time I wiped my hands Anne had picked Maggie up and was carrying her over to a pile of toys on the floor and instructed her to play with toys while she went to put the gate up.

*This is Maggie's "I'm going to do something naughty" face that we see far too often and usually involves eating dog food and dumping the dog's water!*

Maggie's one-year well child check up isn't for about two more weeks. I stood on the scale with her and it said she was about 17 pounds. If that is accurate than she already weighs more than Abbey did at a year and is very close to what Anne was!



At her check-up I also plan on talking with our doctor about Celiac Disease and other food allergies and to see when we should get her tested. She does fantastic on the gluten-free diet. It is definitely difficult at times (and expensive!). She only has 2 teeth so there are limited options to what she can eat. She is at that stage where she is very independent and only wants to feed herself. She eats a lot of bananas, rice chex, rice noodles, carrots, peas, peaches, and other soft foods that can easily be cut up and given to her. We have some gluten-free animal crackers that she LOVES. When we get the box out after dinner she gets so excited. It's really cute. For her birthday party on Saturday we are making gluten-free chocolate cupcakes. I'm sure she will enjoy them since she has never had anything so delicious in her life!

*She covered all her big smiles with her hands, but I still love this one!*

As I sit here and think over the past year and all that we have been through, I am reminded of God's faithfulness. Even when Maggie was crying all the time and we didn't know why, God was faithful. Praise God for one whole year of life. I can definitely see how I have grown in my faith in the past year and God has used Magdalena to stretch me and teach me and challenge me in new ways. Her name meaning "Spiritual Faith" has proved true thus far. Happy Birthday Magdalena Faith, we love you!

*This is how Maggie praises God!*

Special thanks to my sister, Audrey for capturing Maggie's personality at one-year!

You Can't Have it All

*Best Friends*

In our Sunday paper inside the Business section there is a page of the Wall Street Journal and on this page there is a column written by Katherine Rosman who writes about pop culture and technology for the Wall Street Journal. She is married with two children and she and her family live outside New York City. Her column from this past Sunday is titled "Maybe You Can't Have Balance, After All." To read the full article, click HERE.

If you don't feel like reading the article, I'll give you the gist of it. The author goes away from her family for a week on a business trip, misses her kids and husband, but still wants to work. While on this trip she meets two women, one working mom, one not. The working mom says, "Sometimes I think I'm losing my mind." The mom who put her career on hold to raise her children said "I wish I had your career but I can't focus on two things at once the way I'd need to."

So what solution does Katherine Rosman come to? Let me quote the second to last paragraph in her article. She writes, "My mom once told me her greatest wish for me was to live a full life. To me, that means piling onto one plate love, fulfilling work, children, friends and yoga. There is no way to balance it all, and if I tried it would mean turning my back on things that round out my life and make me whole."

I have several qualms with this statement. Where do I even begin? Well, first of all, she doesn't mention her husband on her full plate, unless she is wrapping him up with #1 which is "love". Second, she puts fulfilling work above her children. Perhaps this was not intentional by the author, but can you see it? Even if she did not intend this list of things to be listed by priority, she is showing with her life actions what is most important to her. And clearly "fulfilling work" is higher on her list of priorities than her children. Here is the real kicker- it's all about ME. This is what I need to make me whole. Yes, I'm sure my kids would like to have me at home, but you know, then I'd really have to miss out on work, and I wouldn't have as much time for yoga, and you know, I would just rather not have balance if I can't have it ALL.

I don't want to be extremely negative here and bash this woman, because that is not what I am supposed to do as a follower of Christ. I just wanted to use that article to contrast the world's way of thinking with the example that God in Christ set for us.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and your spirit, which are God's."

YOU WERE BOUGHT AT A PRICE.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN.

GLORIFY GOD -
IN YOUR BODY
IN YOUR SPIRIT
THEY ARE GOD'S.

I must die to myself. I was bought at a price. When I look back on my life, at the forgiveness and love I have experienced through Jesus' death on the cross, how can I do anything other than die to myself? It is something I need to remind myself of on a daily basis. My life is not my own. Right now, in this stage of life, after God and my husband, I have my children. They are full of joy, life and love, and at times exhausting, exasperating, and vexing. BUT, when I die to myself and put their needs above my own, I am drawing closer to my Lord and Savior.

Our American culture has learned to bleed a selfish blood. We have been taught that it is all about us, that we deserve the best of everything. Putting others above ourselves has become something foreign. I pray that the Christians in America will set such a good example of selflessness that others will ask them about it. I pray that I can set this example to my children, to my neighbors, and to others that I meet.

John 15:13 (King James Bible)
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

Who would you lay down your life for?

Thankful & School

The past couple weeks have been busy. Summer always goes quickly, but once August comes with the days full of canning and weddings and canning and "doing corn" and canning and vacation and birthdays and canning, it might as well be fall already.

*Maggie's 11-Month picture. Baby turns ONE in just 2 weeks.*

As I was peeling about my 50th tomato and starting to get tired of it I had a sudden "revelation" of thankfulness. Many parts of the world are suffering from drought. People are starving. And although I know in my head that this happens a lot, I had recently seen a photo of a little boy in Somalia that was near death from starvation. And here I was getting ready to complain that I have 100 more tomatoes to peel. I began to feel thankful in a way that I had not felt for a long time. Praise God that we have food to eat, that our bellies are full of good nourishing food, that I can feed my children. Perhaps this is what struck me the most. There are parents in this world who cannot provide food for their children. Such a basic part of life that I know I take for granted.

*Little Miss Abbey*

Anne likes to remind me on nearly a daily basis that she will soon be big enough to go to school. She tells me how she will put on her back pack and go to school and I'll watch her and she'll wave and then she'll go into the school building and "learn her lessons" and then she'll go out on the playground and then she'll come home again. I've had lots of discussions with friends and family about the whole school issue. We are still debating between public school and home school. Even though I have a teaching degree, I never really wanted to home school my kids. But then I think about Annie leaving and being gone all day and how we'd only see her for a few hours in the evening and on weekends and I'm not sure that I want that. Then this morning our devotions from Daily Light on the Daily Path shared the following verses:

John 17:15 "I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that you should keep them from the evil one."

Philippians 2:15 "Blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world."

Matthew 5:13-14 "You are the salt of the earth,... the light of the world... Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

2 Thessalonians 3:3 "The Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one."

There were more verses that spoke to this, but I think these best related to my current situation.

We were at a wedding on Saturday and in talking with some people I said something along the lines of, "I just want to move to where I don't have to see anybody else, and I don't want my kids to meet any bad people." And after I spoke those words the reality of it hit me. I genuinely want to protect my children from all the bad in this world. But if they are always living in my protective "Hess Compound" how can they be the salt of the earth and the light of the world? Part of me wants to say "I don't care! I'd rather have them be safe with me than to let them go!" But in my head I know that this is not realistic. I want them to grow and learn and become followers of Christ. And sometimes, they just can't do that under the protective eye of Mama Hess.

*Would you want to send this precious little one to school??*

So now I'm left with the preschool battle. Everyone else is doing it. What should I do next fall? Send Annie or teach her at home? And for those of you who don't have kids or only have really little ones, you pretty much need to sign up your child in January for the coming fall. January is just 5 short months away.

Just Another Day. . .

*Abbey looking sweet at Stacy's wedding.*

First of all, I have to thank my friend Jill for sharing this awesome link with me about motherhood. Motherhood is a Calling (And Where your Children Rank). I was so encouraged by this. I think I should start off every morning reading it. Maybe I will!

Today, despite the heat, I decided to do something fun with the girls that we could never do if we didn't live in the city. We walked (with the double stroller) to Turkey Hill in the 90+ degree heat, got slushies, walked to a shady spot on F&Ms campus, and sat together laughing and drinking slushies. We walked home, full of joy, and love for each other. They spent time in our little pool, and I sprayed the big girls with the hose. We ate lunch, then I was hanging Anne's sheets to dry outside on our make-shift tiny clothesline that Trent strung up for me, and it was an instant tent. Much laughter and chasing ensued.

**My nifty city clothesline.**

We didn't do anything extraordinary. We are just living. Of course, not everyday is full of sunshine and rainbows. We have a child who is in the thick of potty training and has the same issues as big sis (holding her poop/refusal to poop on the potty). I'm amazed at how much of my day revolves around bodily functions. I clean up messy shorts at the playground, get peed on, wash wet bedding when someone drinks too much before bed, and there's nothing like someone yelling, "Moooooom!!! Maggie spit up and Petey is licking it!!" This is my life right now. As we go through the potty training craziness again, I'm reminded that it wasn't all that long ago that Annie was there. And I'm grateful for how far she has come! And then I remember that before too long, Magdalena will be there!

*Typical sisterly-love*

I wanted to give an update on where God is leading us regarding our "Call to Adopt". Because, I truly believe it is a calling. As I was processing my thoughts aloud with Trent the other evening, I was telling him how afraid I am of foster-adopt. Mainly because I know there is a chance that a child could be placed with us, live in our home for a number of days (or months) only to be taken away again. I told him that I don't think I could handle that, emotionally.

Isaiah 42:16 (NIV) "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."

Of course, Trent, being the sensible being that God graciously gave me as a husband said something along the lines of, "So let me get this straight. We're willing to sacrifice financially for an adoption. We're willing to sacrifice our time for an adoption. But we are not willing to sacrifice our emotions? Is that correct?" To which I answered "YES! It sounds too hard." To which Trent responded with a hard stare. I'm coming around to it. I know it won't be easy, but does God want us to do things just because they are easy?

Matthew 7:13 (NIV) "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it."

Yes, the narrow gate. The difficult way. I do not know exactly what God has planned for us. I know that I wanted an international adoption. But we prayed for guidance, for clear signs of opened and closed doors. When we received a "closed door" signal with a particular agency, I did tons of research on other agencies and countries that Trent and I might be approved for. I'd say the research was fruitless, yet it wasn't, because our prayers were answered with a resounding "CLOSED".

Isaiah 30:21 (NIV) "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

We have signed up to attend an information meeting with a local agency for foster care and foster-adopt in the beginning of September.

Proverbs 24:12 (NIV) "If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?"

I'm not sure if the passage below is a translation or a paraphrase, but regardless, I like the wording of the same Scripture from Proverbs.

Proverbs 24:12 "Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act."

Today I feel thankful for God's forgiveness. For life. For freedom to have "just another day". For each of my special children, their unique personalities, and all the craziness that having three children ages 3, 2, and almost 1 bring!

Oh, and the Big Girls taught Baby how to "Praise God!" When they say, "Maggie, praise God!" She lifts both of her hands Heavenward (and sometimes she waves).

**Big Sisters loving Baby. The feeling is mutual.*